Wax in the City

You know it's going to be one of those days, when you drop a heavy glass ashtray on your toe. Fucking hell. The pain. I was convinced I was going to look down and find my foot left with 4 toes, or at least no toe nail and gushing royal blood (I'm still convinced my blood is blue.)
Nope. Just throbbing and swelling. Again, I'm never doing natural child birth.

Then I could not find my keys. I am one of those people who really does want to be early, but always manages to be late. Not terribly late, but late by 5 minutes or so. There are also days I surprise myself and rock up super early.
Today was one of those. I was super early to leave and therefore I'd arrive early at my appointment. All was going well until I couldn't find my car keys. I searched. I searched high, I searched low, I even searched the fridge. Don't ask.
I eventually searched my car at the weird chance I had left them in the ignition or locked them inside etc.
Not one sign of them. Shit, shit, shit!! I was now running on the late side. Where did I find the little shits? On the key ring holder by the front door. Of course I didn't look there first. Why would I possibly look there?
I could've slapped myself.

I arrived at my appointment. Yes. A shallow appointment. I had booked a pedicure and Bazilian wax. Sorry for the TMI, but this is valid.
My girl friends and I got onto the topic of "grooming down-there" and I was shocked to find out that most of them wax or shave...into little shapes!
WTF? Seriously? Who has the time? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for grooming and neatness and I do my fair share, but waxing? As in pouring hot sticky wax down there and ripping the bejesus out of, well, the you-know-what?
I got dared. So, Blondie went this morning to try the torture method out*.
OH. MY. GOD!! How did this ever become a trend and seriously, how did it ever continue?
You do realise that women CHOOSE to do this.
My crotch was literally on fire. Not a fire crotch as in Lindsay Lohan....crotch ON fire!!
Firstly is the wax supposed to be that hot? Or is it that hot that it numbs the skin?
It didn't burn me . I was surprised. Then she smiles. It was a smile that could have rivalled Mona Lisa. Was that a "oh-I-so-don't-envy-you-right-now" smile or a sympathetic smile of "I-know-what-you're-about-to-go-through" or maybe an "evil grin" smile.
Whatever smile that was, it scared the shit out of me because as she smeared the wax all over the...you-know-what, I had this thud of realisation. 'Oh well, no going back now! Only one way to come off!'
She looks at me and says: "Don't forget to breathe. Here we go!"
RIIIIIIIIP!!!
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!" followed by a few words that made even me, blush.
We had to do that several times.
It was pleasant. You know, just a regular good time!

Well, I was wrong. My day got better. A LOT BETTER. I want 150% confirmation on some news before I pop open the champagne. Watch this space :-)

* I also thought it might not be such a bad idea of a "welcome home present" to my man. 1 more sleep.

201 today

It's my 201 post today. Imagine that! You have had to endure me for 200 posts. Dude. Hectic. You've had to endure my whinging, my nagging, my ups and downs and just general crap that is the life of the Blonde Blogshell.
I am always amazed that people enjoy my post (no, there's no fishing here) but I genuinely am. I love receiving your comments and your opinions - you are hilariously funny in some of your comments and I always have good giggles!

Anyways, I went green today. Not in the jealous way, but I felt like a little old lady going off to the Nursery. My garden is so bare. It has grass and some ivy. We built a while back and have tried to get a garden going, but it's been a mission. Our soil is full of cement pieces, pieces of bricks and other rubble the builders seemed to have hidden and we've been trying to sift it out for over a year now.
I love being able to sit in a lush, green garden, smelling the various flowers and hearing birds tweeting. It suddenly occurred to me that I haven't heard birds tweeting at home, well, ever. I only realised this when I went to visit my parents and we sat outside having a cup of tea and heard weavers and doves carrying on in the trees.
With that said, I put on the old jeans, flat shoes and sun hat. I went to our local nursery and bought 4 kinds of trees (they're babies now plus they had to fit into my car), pretty plants with flowers (I don't know their names) that apparently spread out to create ground cover, 4 jasmine creeping plants that bring back memories from my childhood, hibiscus plants and smelly compost.
I am so excited to plant and I am so excited for the man to arrive back next Wednesday and see the garden covered in plants, rather than dirt.

I have a bottle of wine in the car (my favourite - Saint Anna, a cheapy. Ironically I can't drink really expensive wine, I found it tastes awful. Yup, I'm a cheap date.) and I'm heading off (after work) to comedy girl's house. My "twin" and I are going to celebrate!

PS> He gets back next Wednesday. Dude. I cannot wait!! Heard his voice this morning in a delayed phone call and I got all weepy afterwards.