April Fools Day

I got pranked. Not once, but twice. Wow. I got a message from Special K this morning (in my defence I had just woken up and didn't know the date yet, let alone what day it was) saying that she was pregnant. I called her immediately, my mind already planning her baby shower only to hear a chuckle and a hearty: "April Fools!!!"
Bugger.

I thought I was done for the day, now being completely aware, when I got a call from this woman.
"Hi, is this Miss Blogshell?"
"Yes it is."
"Hi there, I'm phoning from Vodacom. I've been calling all our Blackberry clients today. Unfortunately the monthly fee that you pay which allows you unlimited access to internet, email and BB chat/IM is no longer feasible. We are alerting all our clients to the fact that we are going to start charging you for every email, IM and minute used on internet. We're having to disconnect your services until a payment is made upfront. We've had a look at your usage and I'm afraid that you are going to need to pay R5000."
"What?? You're kidding me. R5000? I know I am on my Blackberry all the time but R5000? Is this an April Fools Joke?"
"I'm so sorry about this...I've been getting that question all day, but I'm afraid it's no joke. We'll be sending you a letter to explain everything."

I put the phone down, completely seething. What the hell is the point of having a BB then? I know that R5000 seems ridiculous, but with the amount of time I spend using those facilites, nothing would surprise me.

10 minutes later, my dad called me saying that he had just received a phone call from Vodacom. When I originally got my contract back in the day, I wasn't able to sign surety, so my dad did. He told me that they had called him asking him if he was good for R5000. I started to explain everything when he stopped me and said... "April Fools!!!"
"Wh-What?"
I just hear the office pack out laughing. His bloody naughty secretary had been the "lady from Vodacom" and they got me good and proper. Little shits!!

My Blackberry is fondly called my Crackberry because it's my addiction. I might as well superglue it to my hand. It's ridiculous, I know. I can't help it though.

Well bloody done! Dad - you got me good!!

Inspiration comes in all forms

I am completely dead from gym. Spinning yesterday and now an hour today that consisted of cardio and weights.
Yesterday's spinning class was certainly guilt ridden. Sugar and I arrived early to get a bike, adjust it and so forth. The instructor had her back to us (she was new.) I am quite funny about trainers/instructors etc. I once went to an aerobics class where the instructor was such a fatty that it was off putting. Don't be shouting out: "1, 2, 3, 4" and make us sweat our asses off when you look like that. I want you to be my inspiration, not make me feel hopeless.
Anyway, so there was our new instructor wearing cycle shorts. Now, at the risk of sounding funny...she was skinny, had lovely legs, toned arms etc. Perfect and inspiring.
She finally turned around and I could not believe my eyes. Perfect little body with a 7 month stomach. I have never felt so guilty. She's pregnant, taking a spinning class and there I am huffing and puffing away with a tummy that has no excuse, really. Now that was inspiration.
She killed us.
So today I am walking really strangely and look like an 86 year old, not a 26 year old.

My weekend consists of:
A movie tonight...going to watch He's Just NOT That Into You. I've been dying to see this movie! I have the book, but I've never finished reading it and I think it can certainly help in a lot of areas - haha!
Pilates tomorrow.
I'm hoping to go to the A1 GP, but the verdict is still out on that one.
I'm going to a launch on Saturday evening and possibly jolling afterwards.
Sunday...gym (missed Mon and Tues) so Sugar and I are determined to make our 5 x a week schedule. I have a goal and I'm sticking to it, for once and for all.
Oh yes...and I have a coffee with Europe Boy. We shall see though... I don't really know what to think actually... um... My mates are telling me go, but I don't know if I should. I met him at a friends birthday very briefly and was pleasantly surprised to get an email from him on Monday. Why not, right?
Have a good one!! xx

Being sick SUCKS!!

I've been pretty sick. Really horrible. Hate being sick. I don't do sick! Did I mention I hate it?
I have literally become a pin cushion. No, I didn't develop a sudden fetish for piercings, but I have had more needles stuck in me to draw blood than most tattoo'd people do.
I have been vomitting, fainting, weak, exhausted, hot and cold, diarroeah-ing and constipated (work that one out) *sorry for the TMI*
I have discovered one thing. YOU CANNOT EVER VOMIT AS A WOMAN. IF YOU DO...YOU ARE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED TO BE PREGNANT.
Imagine this. I'd love to imagine, only it became reality. My mom and I sitting in the doctors room (my mom had come to fetch me to take me to the doc, after I collapsed)
Dr. Smit: Are you pregnant?
Blondie: Um...well....um...(squirm, blush, squirm, kill me now) I don't know.
It came out in the smallest voice. I felt my mothers eyes turn into laser beams.
Awesome. Really.
Dr. Smit: Well when was your last period?
Blondie answers. Do't want to kill you with Too Much Information.
Dr. Smit: Uh-huh...Hmmm....Could be a false period?
Blondie and Mama Blondie: Oh dear God!
Dr. Smit (quite cheerful and sadistically enjoying this awkwardness between mother and daughter): Do you know I have had two 25 year old's come to me this week with the same symptoms you're experiencing. The one is 6 months pregnant with twins and the other is 5 months pregnant. Can you imagine? Being 5 and 6 months pregnant and not knowing.
Blondie: But, didn't they see their stomachs growing?
Dr. Smit: Yes, but they just increased their exercise.
Mama Blondie: Good grief!
Dr. Smit: I think we should test you to see if you are pregnant and run other tests too. We need to look at everything to see what is causing this.

5 viles of blood later, I felt faint, sick and well, 'kill me now' was pretty appropriate!
My mom and I looked at each other and all she said was: I don't think we should tell your father about the pregnancy test.
"Agreed! But wouldn't it be awesome if you became a granny?" I said amusing myself.
Mama Blondie: "Don't even think about it! Dear Lord, I think I'm going to throw up now!"
Blondie: "Your support is so warm and comforting!"

I have to give the man 20 out of 10 for being so awesome. Besides the fact that he was wishing and hoping and praying I was pregnant (bless him); he looked after me so well. Tea, dinner, wet face cloths for my temperature, kisses, stroking my head. Ah, pure bliss.

My blood results came back today and I'm NOT pregnant. Glucose and Thyroid is fine, but my iron level is dangerously low. Normal level of iron is 60. I'm on 6.8. It's so low I need to go for an iron drip immediately and then start on iron tablets. There is also a problem with my liver which I'm really worried about. I've been asked to come in. That's not good right?

So wish me luck. I'm not going to lie. I'm awfully sick. I'm awfully worried too, but trying to stay positive. I'm sure it's nothing, but I'm really not loving the idea that my doctor wants to see me about the results.

Special K's wedding

The wedding was something out of a movie. Perfect in every way. She was the calmest bride ever, except when one of the bridesmaids had that Rimmel Instant Tan Shimmer on her hands and nearly tripped. Had she tripped she would have landed on her neatly laid out wedding dress.
Oh the dress! It was absolutely GORGEOUS!! It was LITERALLY made for her and I got all teary to see my friend in her wedding gown. I have realised that she is far too modest as far as her dressing for her figure goes. We (the bridesmaids) were gawking at her waist. I couldn't resist and eventually asked her: "Um.... where exactly do your organs go? There is no room for your spleen, liver, intestines etc..."
She had the tiniest waist I have ever seen in my life. Barbie size proportions with sexy hips and a sexy bum. I was not perving over my friend (I've just re-read this and it could get some men rather excited) but I was definitely astonished. Gisele Bunchen must watch out! Seriously.

What an incredible ceremony and the reception was unbelievable. Fairy Tale style. It was held at the Michaelangelo and everything was just perfect. The food was awesome, I tasted the best creme brulee EVER. Hahahah...I sound like I'm doing a review, don't I?

Now for the funny part... 2 of the 4 bridesmaids are pregnant. They are also identical twins , Nails and Twinkles, and 3 months apart. Nails is 7 months and Twinkles is 4 months.
8 people came up to me to congratulate me on my "pregnancy."
Say what?
I find it extremely disrespectful. I wouldn't ask ever, even if her water had just broken on the middle of the dance floor. It got so bad, even my man asked me if I wanted to change.
This one woman came straight up to, put her hands on my tummy and bent down with a "coochey coochey coo" and asked me ever so sweetly, "So are you due at the same time the twins are?"
My reply (ever so sweetly): "Nails is due in two months, Twinkles is due in 5 months and I'm not pregant, I'm obviously just fat!"
The look on her face was priceless. She immediately took her hands off my stomach as if I had just developed a contagious flesh eating disease, straightened up from talking to my stomach, mumbled an "Oh. Noooo you're not fat. Um.............Oh look, theres someone I haven't seen in years. Please excuse me!"
I have never felt so exhausted in my life...it's exhausting holding your stomach in for hours at a time.

The good thing, I think, was the fact that I caught Special K's bouquet and the man caught the Garter. Not rigged, oh so awesome and instant relief I didn't have to dance with some weird bachelor!
YAY!

The night was awesome... I'm so proud of my friend. She looked so gorgeous and happy and she's married a really wonderful guy, a gentleman! It was a fairytale!