Autumn Clean

Seriously need to Spring Clean.. Autumn Clean?

Problem? I'm a hoarder.
I luuuurve my things and I always feel like I might just need that purple sweater, that movie ticket stub (memories for that scrapbook I'll eventually get around to making) and that costume jewellry that's seen better days, but I have the best intensions to turn it into a brooch.
I need to be ruthless, but actually I need someone to do it for me and they need to be stern.
I need my own Sex and The City scene where we can sit in my apartment with Moet and my girls can say "Chuck" or "Keep."
Problem is, we would just chat too much, drink too much and before long we'd be wearing the Chuck pile and prance around to a blaring i-Pod.

I need a company like Clean House but in South Africa and preferably without the camera crew.
Don't get me wrong ... my place is clean and in an order, it's just that there is far too much of everything (in order.)

Are there companies out there? Seriously?
Blondie here is officially waving a white flag of hoarding surrender

Hickey's, watermelon, Sex and the City, mom and charity....you come up with a title for this! LOL

This weekends charity event was an interesting one. It got drenched. Wow and Wags Charity event was held outside with a small marquee for guests to enjoy champagne and canapes. Their actual seats for the show were outside. We had a small marquee for celebrities, make-up artists, hair stylists and wet dogs. It was chaos. Our marquee actually flooded and some bags were soaked. Designer gowns were soaked and we had to walk out onto the ramp, dog in one hand and umbrella in the other. It was tres interesting.
I know we wanted rain, hell, we bitched about the dryness, but hells bells, it sure made up for it on Saturday night. Hail, thunder, large droplets...it was proper.


When was the last time you got a hickey? No really. I discovered I had one on my shoulder...not an intentional-16-year-old-let's-give-you-a-hickey but rather a nuzzle that was harder than expected and left a purple mark. Dude. Not great. Not great when you have a strappy dress and the make-up atist whispers loudly: "Should I cover that with base?"
Isn't the purpose of a whisper to be discreet? I mean seriously. Why bother whispering? Why not announce it over the PA system?
Thing is I wasn't aware what "that" was.
So Blondie here, being...well, blonde says: "Cover what?"
"Your hickey!"
"Wh..what?"
At this stage a few people have gathered around to see what must have been Barney's purple head grinning at them on my neck.
Lovely.
They all gave me the look. The "I-know-what-you've-been-doing-Grrrrrrr!!!" look.
It turns out it wasn't as bad as it originally seemed and quite frankly it really can't quite be classified as a hickey. Right? It was a nuzzle. A loving nuzzle that left a mark. I'm putting it out there.


Today I went to visit mom. She's definitely doing better. I brought over watermelon and the Sex and the City Movie DVD. I bought it yesterday. I HAD to have it in my DVD Collection. I also found the Marilyn Munroe Complete DVD Collection. I've never seen a single movie with her in it, but strangely enough and I really can't explain it, but I'm fascinated by her.
I wanted to buy it without a hesitation, until I saw the price. Dear God! R2000! Um... Next time...ahem.

Anyway, so... mom and I were perched on the bed, watermelon on laps indulging in 2 hours of bliss. What a movie. I had forgotten how many sex scenes there were. Yes Blondie strikes again...
It doesn't matter how close you are to your mom, it is still awkward whenever any sex scene comes on screen it doesn't matter if it's 5 seconds or 5 minutes. Awkward.



I thought this was a fitting picture...Watermelon and Sex and The City ;-)

Sick of being sick.

The reason I have been quiet on the blog front is because I have been sick and let me tell you I'm sick of being sick. It's infected sinus' actually. I suffer throughout winter and generally in Spring. Summer is my saving grace. Another reason I love the season.

If only you could have seen me. I was in bed with 3 great, sexy and amazing....blankets. I also scattered hundreds of snotty tissues around the bed like delicate germ land mines.
I have also marinated myself in lemon, ginger and honey tea. I'm feeling much better but I still have the post nasal drip. It's so annoying, I could tear my own throat out. I wont. It would be messy.

I'm annoyed too because just as I start my exercise regime, this happens. It has taken me over a year to motivate myself to get my wobbly ass to the gym and when I do, I fall sick. Now, I could take it is a sign, but I wont. I am determined this time to actually be toned and fabulous. I have been given a challenge. I need to get myself into a super tight and sexy mini for a mates birthday in October. I scoffed at this obviously, but she seems to think this will motivate me. She's picking the dress out too. Crap.
I had better get my post nasal drip to the punching bags immediately or scare everyone away in October.

This weekend really was chilled. I had been in bed for Thursday and Friday so I was literally climbing the walls in my cabin fever state. I had to work Saturday and Sunday, so I took the opportunity to see some girl friends on Sunday. We had brunch at Atholl Square and it was absolutely fantastic. Poached eggs, coffee and winter sunshine; that's what I'm talking about!
I literally felt like I was having my very own Sex in the City moment. We chatted about everything, everything!
I needed that!

In other news, I bought Pepper Spray today. It was a spontaneous moment. Well, kind of. I've been wanting to get something after my smash and grab for a while now . I've never really gotten round to it, but today I happened to walk past a security store. Ultimately I have wanted to get a tazer. Shock his criminal ass, you know?
R5000? I think not. I bought a R95 pepper spray.
I'm rather scared of it though. I would be the type of person who in a moment of panic would spray the nozzle into my own face. We all know how Murphy's Law adores me.
It does make me feel better to have it though. I really hope I never have to use it.

I've decided to make a delicious stuffed roast chicken tonight - I'm still learning how to cook, you see, so this is all experimental. I'm setting the table and lighting candles. I even bought a new table cloth. Blogshell is putting out all the stops! Hold me back! ;-) Haha!

Sex and the City Movie Premier

I have 4 words, followed by 2.

Sex and the City - Unbelievably Awesome!

I was blown away at the entire event. It was really well done! The decor was sensational, there were chinese take-out boxes (very SATC), New York hotdogs and cosmopolitans doing the rounds.
Everyone really dressed up for the chic Sex and the City theme and I ejoyed seeing people in the industry again. It's a pity how we all wait for things like these to pop up.

It was eventually time for us to head off to the big screen and I could hardly contain myself. We all scrambled to get a good seat in Monte Casino's Il Grande cinema. We marched (elegantly) right to the back. There was popcorn, Appletizers and cosmos.
I just couldn't wait for it to start and when the lights went down I squealed. Yes. It even surprised me. I bloody well squealed. Loudly. A real girly: Eeeeeeeeeeehhh!!!
Everyone giggled and I was glad the lights were down so they couldn't really see who it was or that I was blushing (seems to be a habit.)
2 and a half hours of pure bliss. Pure, fashionable bliss.
I want the wardrobe, the stylist, the apartments and their figures. Awesome.
I can honestly say that I put that movie onto my Favourite Movie List.
I wont spoil it for anyone, but I can't wait for you to see it, so we can have a good banter!

When we walked out I was thoroughly surprised to see a huge feast of pastel coloured Appletizer, Peartizer and Grapetizer cupcakes -so cute, Sinful Sexy Brownies, heeeuuuge chocolate chip cookies, "Sexy donuts" and more!
Heaven.
A moment on the lips; forever on the hips. But oooh so good and yummy!

I had a wonderful time and what made it even better is that I took my sister with me. It's the first time she's come to a premier with me and she was amazed at the hype from the photographers to the decor. I had a good giggle when my sister lent over and said: "I haven't been to a movie in so long without my boyfriend that I nearly held your hand!"
She loved the goody bag, and it was a goody!!

As red as....

I am blushing. I am bright red. Crimson red, Ferrari red, Fire Engine red. As red as a lobster, a tomatoe and a pom who's spent 5 minutes in the sun.
You get the point.

Murphy's Law struck again. I, of course, have to learn things the hard way! Dear Lord! Let me start at the beginning.

I went onto the TV set this morning and was instantly ushered to the make-up and hair room. I do not know why make up artists insist on putting dark, brown shades of lipstick on me. I understand our make-up has to look darker for it to stand out, but brown lipstick? No!
The worst thing is if you mention this, ever so honestly and nicely, you end up sounding like a diva bitch, anyway. It's really not the case but please. Stop putting me in brown. I don't like it.
Anyways, I then had to make my way to the set where the sound guy attached the microphone to my top. That is always awkward. The small mic basically needs to sit just above your breasts, preferably in cleavage.
I put the cable underneath my top and the monitor on the back of my pants, but that was when the dude had to adjust it near the twins. It's um...bonding!
We did the first part of the shoot and it was awesome. I had so much fun. We took a break so that the camera's could change batteries and tape etc.

I obviously, go to the loo. I brush my hair, hum (out of tune) a little, cough, blow my nose - I sound like an elephant having sex with a foghorn, get my make-up I've just rubbed off re-applied and walk back onto set. 5 guys are killing themselves laughing.
I think nothing of it, and move off to do some skinnering with Special K.
Our conversation is as follows:
B:"How do you think it's going?"
K:"I think we're doing well, but I'm a little irritated with how my make-ups been done.
B: "Me tooo!! I don't get it...why do they put brown lipstick on me? Argh!"
K: "No babe, you look great...look at my cheeks..."
At this stage, I felt the blood drain out of my face and then race back into the reddest of red blushes.
I looked in horror at Special K, pointed at her chest and mouthed: "Our mics are on!"

Fuck!

There is just no getting out of that. We are bitching and we are busted.
We then make things worse (trying to make things better) by then saying (not obviously...nooo!!)
K: But, I mean... I guess, we're just, um, being mean! I could never do my make-up this nicely!"
I'm now dying at how this is just getting worse, but panicking because I need to say something so I say: "You look amazing! We should get lessons from this woman."

Oh. My. God! How false could that be? And the "False Award goes to....*drum roll* The Blonde Blogshell!"

Kill.me.now.

We walk in, sheepishly, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. I suddenly realise that the camera's aren't filming and that not one of the sound guys, directors or anyone else has a pair of headphones on.
Does this mean we're in the clear? Did no one hear us?
Say it IS so!

I couldn't take it anymore, so I asked and held my breath waiting for the dreaded answer.
"We heard your bathroom antics, your bad humming and your coughing and spluttering!" He was clearly amused by this.
"So...you didn't hear anything else?"
"No, why? Were you gossiping?"
"No..." Paranoia sets in, "Why? Why would we be gossiping? Why would you ask that?"
"We've caught a lot of people out like that, but we were all doing things, so no one had the headphones on."
I let out a thankful sigh of relief that no one had heard our bitching, but they heard me pee and they heard my nose blowing that could scare small children.

I am still blushing and I've learnt the biggest lesson ever. Switch your mic off!!

PS> It's the Sex And The City movie premier tonight! I'm taking my little sister with me...Good Times!

Sick Blondie in love for 5 years!

I'm dying. I am still sick. I went to the doctor last week Wednesday and got told I have Bronchitis and that I am on the verge of getting the first stage of Pneumonia. Awesome, right?
I got booked off work for Wednesday and Thursday. Friday wasn't any better so I took time off.
The weekend was horrible, although I was feeling better yesterday...I went to a charity event that I had committed to months ago.
Today, I am back to square one. I am going to the doctor again.
I am on so many pills that if you shake me, I rattle. I love how people always say: "You should take this ...."
I am already taking 8 tablets, twice a day. They include huge antibiotics, vitamins, viral choice and now you want to add even more tablets!!?? I hate taking tablets as it is. Seriously, rather just put me on a drip.

I have HAD IT!! I'm back at work today only because I feel too guilty to not be. I'm also climbing the walls. There is only so many hours I can lounge around resting. I have cabin fever.
I also can't afford to miss the Sex and the City movie premier tomorrow night. Sure, it's not New York, but it's still Sex and the City!
I. have. to. be. there!

It was my 5 year anniversary with my man yesterday. We are celebrating tonight at home, out of the chill, we'll eat a lovely home cooked Beef Stroganoff and get as cosy as possible.
I can't believe it's been 5 years! Good grief!! We did have a break up though for 4 and a bit months and the 5 years does include that too! It's been loooong!
But...I couldn't be happier!
Oh and this is classic...you can tell it's been 5 years...no romantic gifts were given, nope, I got him very, very, very sexy flannel pajamas!
:-)

I cannot stop coughing. It's that f*cking tickle that wont leave me alone.

Not happy.

Poor me

Apologies for the absent post on Friday but me and my germs had a slumber party.

The up-side to being sick? Yes, the eternal optimist has returned...

A husky, sexy voice. Grrrr!!!

Sympathy

Honey, lemon and ginger tea being made for you.

More sympathy.

Being brought food..food I didn't have to cook.

Even more sympathy.

Catching up on TV, magazines and dusty chapters in my book.

Me? Milk it? Never!

Oooooh and.... *can I please boast a little?* I may (not 100%) be flown to New York (I have ALWAYS wanted to go) for the wait for it..... Sex And The City Movie Premier. I'll be reporting on it from the red carpet.

*Blondie jumps and up and down, clapping her hands and being extremely girly*

I really hope it happens. I will be beside myself with happiness, excitement and every other adverb applicable!!