I met Jennifer Garner last night for dinner and drinks. Ok, well, I think Mushy Peas looks just like her. What a doll. She is hilarious and fun and an amazing listener and story teller. I literally felt as if I had known her for years, regardless of my stalking her blog. I did gush and I did embarrass myself but then again whats new? It was fantastic to meet the person behind the pseudonym and she is as brilliant and fun as she is in her blog. You know the internet and blogging world can be a funny thing. It's very easy to sit infront of a PC screen and be whoever you want to be, have an alter-ego, hide behind something that is safe and free from judgement or whatever. Just ask most peadophiles. It could have been one of those weird moments where you're sitting there going: Dude! How is it possible for someone to be so cool and then you meet them and it's literally a case of 'Oh shit! Who IS this person? What are we going to talk about?'
I've had that before on an email chat with someone I was doing business with. He was witty and hilarious and confident and when I actually met him he was this introverted guy who couldn't string two sentences together orally.
I must say meeting Peas was fabulous. I reckon that date 2 is a must and will probably involve more alcohol (we were trying to be polite...that, and that I didn't want her to think I would take advantage. Kidding! Ok seriously, we were being responsible adults* knowing we had early starts) and some dance moves that will look like I'm doing the sprinkler and shaking the dice, while Peas will be the bonafide hip hop dancer. You'll be able to tell. Trust me.

I've been up early. Early as in: before the sun has risen. There should be a law against that. As a result I now feel as if I've been awake for so long that it should be home time and not 10am. I don't think another cup of coffee will help. I am yawning and too lazy to cover my mouth. It's attractive, especially after eating a bran muffin. Most people in the office today are just too bright and perky. They're giving me a headache. That shrill: "Goooood Mooorning!!!!!" is ringing out all over the place. It could be one of two things. They either got some last night or their holiday is around the corner. Just saying.
Weird thing is, I'm generally a morning person. The end of the year will do that to you.

OK and some good news (think positive Blogshell) I got a message from the person I've been hoping to hear from regarding my audition, which didn't go as I had hoped. The stress, the nerves, the pressure and the intensity of such a show is overwhelming if you haven't done anything like it before.
They said to me that they have feedback for me, which will be given soon and that there is some work to do and lots of intense dedication to put in before we get there.
Happiness. That's a good thing. It certainly isn't a: Look, this has been fun. Don't call us; we'll call you!
I am more than prepared to put in the hard work and dedication and I relish this opportunity so I am excited that the door is still slightly ajar and not slammed shut. I'm putting positive vibes out there.
This dream of mine just HAS to come true. I have dreamt about this particular thing since I a teen. It was the goal I set for myself in this industry and just the fact that I've come this far is pretty mind blowing.

Right. Coffee machine is calling. So is my bed. We can't have our cake and eat it can we?


* Don't snigger.

Mother City

So...Cape Town was fabulous!! No seriously...I couldn’t have asked for better weather! It has been gorgeous with hardly any wind and a total scorcher! I even managed to get a sligh tan...OK a dress tan, but still.

I stayed in a hotel that made me wish I had had a video camera to show you what I meant. The receptionist at the hotel literally gave me creepy shivers. Think Psycho. He was almost identical to that. You know that really creepy look? The stare where one doesn’t blink and a smirk that makes you think he’ll eat you? He was like THAT!
I got my room key and started to walk around the corner, when I noticed I had turned too quickly and the lifts were further along. The hotel receptionist said in a really creepy, monotone way: “Have you seen the movie Wrong Turn? It’s a horror.” He then chuckled and I literally wanted to get out of there!
I have seen the movie and it freaked me out. I am a baby with horrors anyway. I screamed in Scream and Final Destination, which I don’t think can be classed as horrors. Enough said.
All I wanted was to get into my hotel room and sleep until the next call time. I looked out of the window and instead of seeing ocean, I saw an old eerie stone church. It added to the chill factor.
I was exhausted due to the fact that I been up since 3am to catch my 06h30 flight, and then arrived on set to shoot (my audition was an actual shoot for 3 days –how cool??) at 10h00 and only wrapped at 21h00. The exhaustion definitely helped me pass out quickly without having to think too much about the creepiness, but seriously. It is a great hotel for a thriller/horror movie.

The view of the eerie church.

I have never been so nervous in my life and I put a shit load of pressure on myself. Not great. So stupid of me actually, because thats the worse thing you can do...but hindsight is lovely. It was also my first experience and first time to do something of this proportion; so it was a definite challenge. It made me realise more than ever; that this is what I want to be doing. I fell in love with it. I just hope that they see potential in me and give me an opportunity to put all that I learned into practise. I am anxious now because I don’t actually know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if I will get called back, if I will get the opportunity and if my dream will come true? Everyone is telling me not to get my hopes up and to look at it as a lovely experience. Absolutely to the experience, but as far as getting my hopes up Too late. This is a dream that I cannot explain how much I want it to come true. Imagine going for your dream and not getting it. Crushing, right? Argh. Positivity all the way baby!
I wish I hadn’t been so shaky because it wasn’t a true reflection of what I know I am capable of, but I’m hoping and wishing and praying that there is something in the tapes that will make the Executive Producer love me! LOL

Right, so I now pray and keep visualising and keep thinking positive thoughts. I do believe that what is meant to be will be. I hope this is what’s meant for me. :-)

There are no words...

I am so sorry I haven't posted - but things have been manic and this audition I went for has turned out to be quite fruitful! I am literally jumping up and down - I cannot contain myself. This will change my life, but I don't want to jinx anything and I certainly don't want to count my chicks before they hatch, so I don't want to get my hopes up too high.
Oh wait.
Too late!

I am going down to Cape Town for 3 days now and I am on an emotional rollercoaster of nerves, anticipation, excitement, self-doubt, self-confidence and then it starts all over again.

Wish me luck people, hopefully next week I'll be jumping and down popping champagne!

I.can.hardly.wait!

Sssshh...

The weekend was helluva eventful - I had the best time! I laughed and drank and ate. Boy did I eat. I'll have to blog about that a little later because it was, like I said, eventful.

Right so, I have been feeling a little demotivated and well, to be totally honest completely and utterly flat. Yes, it's this time of the year and yes I need a holiday (I think I've stressed the last point enough) but I've been feeling really down. I'm just finished and tired and demotivated. I find myself feeling this at this time of the year purely because it always makes me evaluate my life. I look back and think either: "Great year!"; "Gosh, it's been sweet and sour!" or I think "Good grief. End already."
It's been sweet and sour for me this year. It also makes me think about where I am going, what I am doing and what opportunities are around the corner for me to either create or sieze.
So, with that said, I figured I could either wallow in self pity or do something to get myself out of the negative space.
Anyways, I know some of you sceptics are going to roll your eyes, but hear me out.

I decided to pop The Secret DVD on this morning and watch it. For some personal reason, this always makes me feel better and makes me feel like I can create my own destiny, opportunities etc and just makes me feel motivated again. I started writing down everything that I am grateful for and what my goals are.
I was in the middle of watching the DVD and writing my list when I had to pause it to answer my phone.
It was a good friend/colleague of mine who gave me some incredible news. I have an audition tomorrow for something that has been a dream of mine since 15 - in fact when I was getting into the industry I stated that I would absolutely LOVE to do XYZ.
I now have an opportunity to go for it. Dude. I am so utterly excited and yet at the same time I really don't want to jinx anything.
I was just freaked out and had goosebumps because it was really strange considering the circumstances. I know, right? You damned sceptics! I know you're thinking it's like one of those bogus emails of: send this to 203 of your friends and in 4 hours your wish will come true...but dude...goosebumps. Oh well, I was chuffed and weirdly enough, I'm feeling a lot better too! LOL


Cross all things crossable please! No. Seriously. Grab a Troll, a four leaf clover, whatever and any other good luck charms you have lying around and send them my way!