End. Now.

I'm talking about this day.
I'm in a foul mood. I'm not a moody person either, so you must know.
Let's start. I woke up this morning and for some reason the normal morning person that I am seemed to disappear. I woke up feeling moody and absolutely shattered. I was in bed at a reasonable hour last night too so there is no proper reason. I am however, feeling the end of year and the exhaustion has hit me.
I also continued reading the Mushy Peas on Toast book and I am now officially on page 133. I cannot put it down.

I finally realised how lazy I was being (total slob actually; considering it was midday) and got up to make myself some tea. I went down to find my very own Mary Poppins (our domestic worker) standing outside with her arms folded and a sad look on her face.
Now last week, I had left R800 in an envelope on my coffee table for a payment that needed to be made. When I came the next afternoon to get the envelope, it was gone. I looked everywhere and it hasn't turned up yet. I casually asked MP if she had put the envelope that was on the coffee table anywhere. She has a tendency to bunch things together or put things in piles or move things all together. I once found our cell phone chargers tangled together in my underwear drawer..so she has a tendency to do things like this. It didn't occur to me that she had taken it. This is a woman who once phoned me to tell me she had eaten 3 Marie Biscuits from the packet. She is incredibly honest and sure, there are only 2 of us and MP so it has to be in the house somewhere.
I asked her if she had put the envelope of money somewhere or if she knew where it was. She said she hadn't. I asked her if she was sure and then continued to look myself.
Apparently she thought I was accusing her of being a thief and she was very unhappy. She started crying and I was completely perplexed. Um...
I had to calm her down and tell her that I hadn't accused her, I was merely asking if she had put it somewhere else like she does with my post, my necklaces and earrings, my chargers, my car keys etc...
She was so upset because she thought that we were cross with her and she didn't want us to think that she had taken it. So I had to reassure her and she assured me that she would look thoroughly.
I know I'm going to sound like an insensitive bitch right now, but
a) I wasn't in the mood for this.
b) I don't know how money can disappear when it is only my man and I, but I know deep down she didn't take it.
She's a sensitive little Mary Poppins, that's for sure. I felt even more exhausted after that.

I then realised that I had to go to the bank before they close. Yay. My favourite.
I rushed off and strangely enough had to stand in long, winding queues. I was getting annoyed because people clearly don't use deodorant and I couldn't breathe, this woman in front of me kept chewing a large piece of chewing gum really loudly. She kept smacking it with her lips and popping it with her teeth. I wanted to smack her on the lips and make her teeth fall out. Nicely.
I finally got the front of the queue to deposit and draw and they told me that I was going to have to go to that queue over there. I looked at where this woman was pointing and felt my heart sink. That queue was double the queue I had just been sitting in. I finally got to the front of that one and there was a problem with something or other and I was going to have to come back tomorrow. I burst into tears. I actually couldn't believe it and had one of those out of body moments where I was looking back at myself saying: "Oh my God. You are crying and you're not even being discreet. Jesus. People are staring at you. Oh shit - look at you...you're blubbering now. Why are you crying anyway?"
Thing was, the more I knew I should hold in my exhaustion and frustration, the more I couldn't hold back the tears. The poor Indian man looked at me with absolute horror. He handed me a tissue and I blew my nose too. I am not dainty when I blow my nose. I sound like an elephant on heat mating a fog horn. It's totally unfeminine, really loud and attention grabbing (not in the good way.)
The worst part? Having to hold my puffy, red head held high as I walked out of the bank and feeling the heat on my back as everyone stared after me.

I got to the office and got a call from the same Indian man, apparently I left my bank card there too and he's not working this weekend. I told him to leave it with someone reliable and I would be back to get it tomorrow. Awesome.

This weekend had better be lovely. I hate being moody and quite frankly, I don't know what's going on.

PS> I did have a good laugh just now.
"A" (who loves her blind pug and who I'm going to call Camera Girl considering she is most likely going to feature a lot. She's too funny not to.) was in the middle of a sentence when she stopped and said:
"Fuck. Sorry. Your eyes look just like beer bottles."
"What??"
"No...I mean...I've just never realised it, but they're the colour of a brown beer bottle...it's really pretty! No seriously! That clear, pretty, sparkly brown beer bottle colour."
"Like a Castle?"
"Ja. It's a good thing."
"Um..."

What happened yesterday...

My sister is a culinary genius. I have never eaten such delicious Indian food in ages. It would actually put Indian restaurants to shame. I'm talking about my sister making her very own samoosas (who does that??) Indian rice, curry and Indian sweets from scratch.
There are 2 problems. The first problem is that I have to kill her now because I'm going to have to do an extra hour of cardio now. The second problem is that I will never be able to invite her around for dinner now, unless she has no problem with toasted cheese!

Oh and that reminds me. I have been manic today rushing around town to various meetings, listening to people who drone on and repeat themselves trying to explain what they would like me to do at their function and then smile like I'm the idiot. I even had the question of: "So, um...you're sure you can do this, huh?"
I should have said something like: "Oh my God. Are you sure? I mean I've never ever done this before...ever." Just to completely scare the shit out of them.
I'm always amazed. Um...you hired me for your function... why would you suddenly be questioning whether I can do something or not....um??
I had so much to do today and I felt like screaming: "Alright already!! I get it! Can we move the F&%# on? Time is money people; let's GO!"
Instead of either option, I smiled, nodded and assured them that everything would be just fine and their function would be just great.

I finally managed to race off to Woolies to look for the dress I saw in the catalogue. I need it for this function, you see? Anyways, there I am looking for dresses (in a major rush) and found a whole rack of gorgeous dresses. I started looking for my size in these dresses, holding them up, pressing them against my body (quick mental try on) and then folded a few options (not one of them was in the catalogue...in case you're wondering) over my arm to buy them. I turned around and bumped straight into a friend from school I haven't seen in over a year. We got chatting and I was wondering why she kept looking at me so strangely...strangely as in a small smile and a look in her eyes that I didn't quite get. I finally got what that look and smile was all about. I was standing in the Maternity section. How did I NOT see the sign? It was huge and had a lovely glowing woman standing with her manicured hands on her huge belly on it.
There go the rumours.

I went through to support Mushy Peas on Toast for her book launch last night. I think it is an amazing thing to have accomplished and I heard that she always wanted to have a book published before 30! Well done babe!! I am so impressed and uber proud!! I had a jol too with you and the gang ; although I wasn't loving you guys this morning after those G & T's. I got to meet a few bloggers last night and it is always fascinating and fun. Chester Pillow was actually the person I cursed this morning...my head was feeling just lovely after the G&T's. It was fun Ches...thanks dude!
I got home last night and read your book until my eyes literally closed (admittedly I only read for 15 minutes) and the book hit the ground, ultimately waking me up. I am on Chapter 2 and I'm loving it! Sheer entertainment!
Well done Peas...I am definitely a GROUPEA and I have put an order out because all my gal pals are getting your book for Christmas :-)

I met Jennifer Garner last night for dinner and drinks. Ok, well, I think Mushy Peas looks just like her. What a doll. She is hilarious and fun and an amazing listener and story teller. I literally felt as if I had known her for years, regardless of my stalking her blog. I did gush and I did embarrass myself but then again whats new? It was fantastic to meet the person behind the pseudonym and she is as brilliant and fun as she is in her blog. You know the internet and blogging world can be a funny thing. It's very easy to sit infront of a PC screen and be whoever you want to be, have an alter-ego, hide behind something that is safe and free from judgement or whatever. Just ask most peadophiles. It could have been one of those weird moments where you're sitting there going: Dude! How is it possible for someone to be so cool and then you meet them and it's literally a case of 'Oh shit! Who IS this person? What are we going to talk about?'
I've had that before on an email chat with someone I was doing business with. He was witty and hilarious and confident and when I actually met him he was this introverted guy who couldn't string two sentences together orally.
I must say meeting Peas was fabulous. I reckon that date 2 is a must and will probably involve more alcohol (we were trying to be polite...that, and that I didn't want her to think I would take advantage. Kidding! Ok seriously, we were being responsible adults* knowing we had early starts) and some dance moves that will look like I'm doing the sprinkler and shaking the dice, while Peas will be the bonafide hip hop dancer. You'll be able to tell. Trust me.

I've been up early. Early as in: before the sun has risen. There should be a law against that. As a result I now feel as if I've been awake for so long that it should be home time and not 10am. I don't think another cup of coffee will help. I am yawning and too lazy to cover my mouth. It's attractive, especially after eating a bran muffin. Most people in the office today are just too bright and perky. They're giving me a headache. That shrill: "Goooood Mooorning!!!!!" is ringing out all over the place. It could be one of two things. They either got some last night or their holiday is around the corner. Just saying.
Weird thing is, I'm generally a morning person. The end of the year will do that to you.

OK and some good news (think positive Blogshell) I got a message from the person I've been hoping to hear from regarding my audition, which didn't go as I had hoped. The stress, the nerves, the pressure and the intensity of such a show is overwhelming if you haven't done anything like it before.
They said to me that they have feedback for me, which will be given soon and that there is some work to do and lots of intense dedication to put in before we get there.
Happiness. That's a good thing. It certainly isn't a: Look, this has been fun. Don't call us; we'll call you!
I am more than prepared to put in the hard work and dedication and I relish this opportunity so I am excited that the door is still slightly ajar and not slammed shut. I'm putting positive vibes out there.
This dream of mine just HAS to come true. I have dreamt about this particular thing since I a teen. It was the goal I set for myself in this industry and just the fact that I've come this far is pretty mind blowing.

Right. Coffee machine is calling. So is my bed. We can't have our cake and eat it can we?


* Don't snigger.

Detectives, Proper-like and a Date.

Not all cops are bad and corrupted, evidently. I am so impressed. I spent most of my evening at the Randburg Police Station last night. I'd like to be hardcore and very Hollywood and say I was being booked, but instead I was a witness. I was the witness to the accident my man and I had on the 14th.
We have been called every single day with an update of the case and they finally tracked down the son of a bitch. It turns out this drunk asshole is quite a popular boy with the police. He has a charge of assault laid against him. Apparently he left this chick for dead. They're also investigating how he got off and how he wasn't charged with attempted murder. Nice guy.
They couldn't arrest him without a witness statement aka me. I think the guy has been arrested this morning, but we'll no doubt get a call later.
I am uber impressed.

Today I decided to do things a little differently. I decided to stop being a lazy cow and do things the proper way. I didn't call 082 110 when I needed a number and pulled out the dusty phonebook. I forgot how heavy those things are. I even had to go through the alphabet in my head when looking up a name. Don't ask.
I decided to phone instead of sms. I actually do phone a lot, but generally an sms in easier.
I booked a table at a restaurant like a sophisticated woman instead of just rocking up and pleading (sometimes squeezing cleavage) for a table.
*blondie 2 is here*
She just came in and wrote that now...clearly NOT doing things the right way, because she has her own blog. Now she's looking at me like I'm mean. Get over it. ;-)
Anyway, back to my blog.
I wired up a hi-fi all on my own and only looked at the manual once, which doesn't count.
I sewed a button back onto my jacket instead of ignoring the gaping hole.
I let my hair dry naturally. Ok, this one was really because the idea of using a hair dryer in this heat was unbearable. I got out of a cool shower and 10 minutes later had to dry myself off again. I applied my make-up and 15 minutes later it had melted. My mascara was on my cheeks and my lipstick was on my chest. Pleasant AND attractive.

I have a date tonight. Not with the man. Ooh la la. Relax. It's with a woman. OK wait. This is sounding terribly wrong. Although it does feel like blind date. We told each other what we're wearing so we'd recognise each other. I even asked her if she wanted to have dinner with me.
Oh good grief.
Now I know that I am going to make most of you jealous. Haha. I mean...sorry about that. I am meeting Mushy Peas On Toast for dinner tonight. Yes I am. I think I'm probably going to give her the biggest squeeze and gush about her blog and how she inspired me and go on. Basically, I am going to seriously embarrass myself. Nothing that a bottle of wine wont numb. :-)
I cannot wait.