Post trauma and cocks... shuttlecocks.

I never thought I would be so affected by this. I am neurotic. No one can come near my car without me freaking out. I literally stop breathing and only let my breath out when they pass by. I have screamed at 2 guys who have dared come near my car. The one guy came right up to my car to give me those irritating little advertising flyers and I nearly had a heart attack and nearly got out my car to hit him!
I am NOT a violent person. I screamed so loudly, the dude nearly shat himself. Afterwards, I felt embarrassed that I had reacted so badly, but fuck that...it's bullshit this happened in the first place.
My hands tremble, clutching the steering wheel and even though my bag is now permanently in my boot, I still feel unsafe!
I have been getting some advice to go for trauma councelling. At first, I scoffed at the idea and immediately thought: Well, shit... I wasn't (God forbid/ Touch Wood) hi-jacked, raped, held up etc... a little smash and grab will be easy to deal with. See how bad our South African mentality is?
I'm going to contact someone tomorrow.

I'm working tonight. I'm petrified to drive home. I'll be ok. Well, that's what I keep telling myself. I am expecting 2 or 3 speeding fines and fines for going through red traffic lights. There is not a chance in hell that I'll be stopping (yes, I'll be cautious, yield and all that good stuff... I'm not going to be a blonde frantic woman screaming through red robots!)
Argh! I'm loving the way we have to live. I am a positive person and I LOVE South Africa, but unfortunately we have to be realistic.

I did have a relaxing long weekend though. I am also going to be letting a lot of women down by saying this: If I see another chocolate I may puke.
I have eaten worse than a pig ever could. I'm at the point where I'm craving veges. Woah!!!
I also played Badmington. Yes. Who knew it could actually make you stiff and sore the next day? I'm aching! I feel like I spent 24 hours in the gym.
It was also really awesome to shout out loudly and proudly: "Hit the cock!!" "Pass the cock!" and "Fuck this cock! I'm losing!"
Good times.