Admin sucks piles.

I hate admin. Especially when it shouldn't be done in the first place. I need to get a new ID book, drivers license, bank cards, sim card swop, new cellphone etc etc etc...
ARGH!!

I went to my bank this morning. It never occurred (stupidly) to me that I would need identification. I don't have any, so it wasn't on my mind. I only clicked when I stood in the longest queue. They couldn't help me. I had to go back home to find my passport which was (of course) not where it was supposed to be, so cupboards were emptied and I eventually found it.
I drove (nervously) back to the bank and stood in the Collection of Cards queue for 20 painful minutes. I finally got to the desk and I was told I was in the wrong queue. I had to apply first and then come back. I got all teary. WTF was that? I do not get teary about things like this. Pissed off, yes, but not teary. The bank manager saw my face and came over to help. I must have looked like a real little damsel in distress (hate that) because he helped me draw money so that I could actually buy food. It's become desperate times not having a bank card over a long weekend.
I am still waiting for the bank card. I collect it in 5 working days.

I then went over to my cellular provider to get a sim card. I also remember asking for insurance on my contract cellphone when I got the new phone a few months ago. Apparently they have never taken money off the account for insurance so I'm officially not insured. I blew a fuse. Yes. It's my fault I never checked the statement, but I know for a fact I sent off all the paper work. I remember because it was a ball ache, um.... if I had balls, they would ache. Ok so, they were adamant, I was adamant and we had a staring/ glaring competition until eventually I cried. AGAIN. Seriously? WTF?
I am just one ball of sobs lately.

I got the sim swop done and bought the cheapest phone I could find. I now need to tackle the home affairs and traffic department for my ID and license. You have no idea how excited I am about this. I am basically giddy with glee!
I'm about as excited as gagging myself over and over with a fork! Cannot WAIT!!

Post trauma and cocks... shuttlecocks.

I never thought I would be so affected by this. I am neurotic. No one can come near my car without me freaking out. I literally stop breathing and only let my breath out when they pass by. I have screamed at 2 guys who have dared come near my car. The one guy came right up to my car to give me those irritating little advertising flyers and I nearly had a heart attack and nearly got out my car to hit him!
I am NOT a violent person. I screamed so loudly, the dude nearly shat himself. Afterwards, I felt embarrassed that I had reacted so badly, but fuck that...it's bullshit this happened in the first place.
My hands tremble, clutching the steering wheel and even though my bag is now permanently in my boot, I still feel unsafe!
I have been getting some advice to go for trauma councelling. At first, I scoffed at the idea and immediately thought: Well, shit... I wasn't (God forbid/ Touch Wood) hi-jacked, raped, held up etc... a little smash and grab will be easy to deal with. See how bad our South African mentality is?
I'm going to contact someone tomorrow.

I'm working tonight. I'm petrified to drive home. I'll be ok. Well, that's what I keep telling myself. I am expecting 2 or 3 speeding fines and fines for going through red traffic lights. There is not a chance in hell that I'll be stopping (yes, I'll be cautious, yield and all that good stuff... I'm not going to be a blonde frantic woman screaming through red robots!)
Argh! I'm loving the way we have to live. I am a positive person and I LOVE South Africa, but unfortunately we have to be realistic.

I did have a relaxing long weekend though. I am also going to be letting a lot of women down by saying this: If I see another chocolate I may puke.
I have eaten worse than a pig ever could. I'm at the point where I'm craving veges. Woah!!!
I also played Badmington. Yes. Who knew it could actually make you stiff and sore the next day? I'm aching! I feel like I spent 24 hours in the gym.
It was also really awesome to shout out loudly and proudly: "Hit the cock!!" "Pass the cock!" and "Fuck this cock! I'm losing!"
Good times.

I'm scared

to get into my car. It's my little safe bubble. It's my space where I sing loudly and dance like an idiot in my car, forgetting people can actually see me. Why? Because it's my safe haven.

It got violated last night on my way home for work and without sounding too dramatic I'm lucky to be alive.
It was pissing down with rain and I was stuck in traffic. I had cars infront of me, behind me and next to me. I was alert at the red light and as I looked around me I noticed two men sitting in the rain. I looked around towards the other side and when I looked back again I saw the guy up against my window, cupping his hands and peering in. I, naive, gullible, stupid even, thought he was asking for directions. I didn't wind down my window; but I waved him off. He then begged for money and I FELT SORRY FOR HIM drenched in the rain etc. My handbag with MY LIFE IN IT was hidden under the seat. I bent down to get it out to give the guy some money when I noticed the second guy peering into my passenger backseat window. That sudden realisation as to what was happening was sickening and I felt the most unbelievable FEAR.
I started hooting and screaming, hitting my window to tell the guy to get away. He stepped away and then turned around and put his fist through my window and lurched into my car. The glass smashed into a million pieces and I screamed blue murder. My instant reaction was: "It's mine!" and grabbed my handbag. Stupid. He tried to slap me but I dodged out the way and that's when he reached into his jacket to either pull out a gun or a knife. I didn't want to find out so I let go and he pulled my handbag out of my window and ran. He would have hurt me or killed me for my handbag. My life was nothing to him. The realization fo that is something I cannot come to terms with.
Rain poured into the shattered window and I stopped at the BP Garage 200m ahead.
Shaking, crying and the realisation as to what had just happened sunk in. I got out my car and just started crying and shouting for anyone to help me with a phone. I panicked and nothing was rational.
A car had pulled up next to me and this guy, Joe ( I found out later) came to my rescue. He had been in front of my car. His radio had been blearing and the rain was loud. He couldn't see anything but he heard something and turned his radio off, that's when he heard my screaming through the rain. My throat is sore today from screaming so hard.
There were 4 other people who were smash and grabbed at the same spot.

I feel shocked and violated and traumatic. I have lost some incredible valuable things that I will never be able to get back, like the hand written letter I received from the Guide Dog Association when my puppy made it. I keep it in my wallet.
My wallet, cellphone, ID and Drivers, new sunglasses (I saved up for), work access tags, credit cards and bank cards, my entire make-up kit, which I had JUST restocked and more. Oh yes, I had also drawn my last few hundred rand. Pay day is the 25th and so I thought I'd draw it all so that I wouldn't need to constantly go to the bank. I'm broke now. I don't have a cent to my name.
It's not what I lost, yes it's fucking annoying, expensive to replace and time consuming like getting a new license and ID...it's the WAY it was taken from me.

I really didn't think I would be so affected by this. I am shocked, traumatized and angry! I am so petrified to get into my car and drive home tonight. Every time someone comes up to sell me fruit or hand me a flyer I freak out. I've been close to having a panic attack and I'm weepy all the time.
"They" always say you should have a plan and you should act in a certain way... there isn't any time to act out the "plan".

I reported everything and the Police Inspector actually described the place and person. What the FUCK?? Apparently this happens all the time and it's a Smash&Grab HOT SPOT. A fucking SIGN is going to go up to warn people. Thanks a fucking lot!
While I was reporting the incident, 3 other people arrived to report the same thing. They had been hurt. I was lucky.
That also makes me angry...our South African mentality is shit. Gosh I am so lucky I wasn't killed, yes BUT.... are we listening to ourselves?
We don't go to the police station to report an incident so that the police can go and find the assholes and arrest them...NO. We report incidents because we need a case number so we can blacklist our phones and stop sim cards from being used.
It's messed up.

I'm ranting and getting this all off my chest, because I am angry and I'm upset and I'm petrified.

On a lighter note, I hope you get lots of Easter eggs, you're safe and blessed!