Hormonal Cabin Fever.

I had Left Out Syndrome last night ... well, I'm not sure I can call it that considering it was my decision to stay behind while all my mates were going to birthday parties, dinners and Paul Oakenfold.

I had a hospital procedure last Wednesday. I had to go under general anaesthetic and get prodded and poked etc ... Good times really...especially when the schedule 7 drugs kick in ;-)

European boy had bought us VIP tickets to Paul Oakenfold ages ago. Every part of me wanted to go but by the time we were ready to, my body decided to chicken out.

I don't know if I'm getting older and by that I mean more responsible, or if I'm just becoming lazier.

As a very torn European Boy hesitated at the door, I absolutely insisted that he went with the mates. Another thing I adore about him is how sweet his for insisting he stay behind and look after me. I felt guilty enough that I wasn't going - I didn't want to feel guilty for him not going too.

I am PMSing (read hormonal pain in the ass), feeling sorry for myself, feeling tender and fragile after the hospital procedure and just not really myself at the moment.

So there I was on the couch, with my laptop and my favourite fashion blogs, my book, drivel on TV and I suddenly had this: "I feel so sorry for myself ... Oh my gosh I'm missing out on fun." moment.

I wanted to jump up, get showered and dressed and go party. I had visions of arriving, looking chic and saying cooly:

"Ha ha - I was just kidding! I'm going to order a Jack & Lime, who wants one?"

I didn't though. Instead I sat looking at my phone semi-hoping for:

"It's just not the same without you."

and

"We're all having a miserable time and coming home." messages.

That didn't quite happen, either.

They say it's really good for you to have a night on your own. To enjoy your "me-time" and I am always down for those, because they are so few and far between.

However, this does NOT count when you are already climbing the walls from having Cabin Fever and having Cabin Fever during a hormonal time -is well...problematic.

I don't think anyone has ever been so excited to see a Mr. Delivery guy. When the doorbell rang, I jumped up and nearly hugged him - just for some human interaction. He gave me my food and walked away shaking his head.

I needed to find things to preoccupy my time.

Bare in mind, that since Wednesday I have been doing the same things every night. OK OK, to be fair, the only thing different was that I was at European Boys apartment and not mine....At least they were different walls to climb.

There was N.O.T.H.I.N.G on TV. Good grief. Oh wait. I did watch a cool movie...or was that Friday night? OK never mind, scratch that.

I watched the clock a lot. Ridiculous... and a little crazy, I'll admit it.

I re-checked blogs -just in case the bloggers had written a new post since the last hour I had checked.

I read Twitter and everyone tweeting about how amazing their Saturday nights were.

Made Hot chocolate.

Raided European Boy's cupboard for left over Easter Eggs. He's normally a hoarder like I am, but couldn't seem to hoard Easter eggs. Dammit.

I looked at friends photo's on Facebook.

I read a few chapters of my book.

I made Vanilla tea.

I got a message from European Boy and my heart sang with a ridiculous: "He does miss me!!" - even though I know that deep down. Being a hormonal girl at times can be the pits.

I must have eventually fallen asleep on the couch, because when I woke up again, all the lights were on, the TV was blaring with Discovery Channel's "I Shouldn't Be Alive" and when I looked next to me, European Boy was home, sweeping the hair off my face and eating pizza.

I vaguely remember him switching everything off eventually and steering me to bed. Thank goodness, because the last time I tried to go to bed myself when I was so sleepy, I nearly slept in the dining room.

Today is MOTHERS DAY ... My sister and I have a tradition that we make her breakfast/lunch/dinner and copious amounts of tea. We've been told that she is going to Yoga this morning (my mom's new thing now) - so we are going to make her brunch. I've become quite the cook lately, so I can't wait to show off...just a little. I love surprising mom.

My mom is the most amazing woman. I learn from her wisdom, her strength, her elegance, her grace, her zest for life and if I turn out to be just half the woman she is, I will be incredibly happy!

She has always been there. I cannot recall a time when I have been let down. She calls herself my "Number 1 Fan" and has been through every heart ache, hurt, success, dream, triumph and lesson. I couldn't be more blessed.

To all the mom's out there ... even if we don't say it often, we are exceptionally grateful for everything that you do.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

A mothers love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible." ~Marion C. Garretty

Jealousy makes you nasty.

I am officially ONE WIF VA SOUTH! Apparently, if you have been to the Black Steer in Mondeor, you are pretty much initiated into the clan!
Apparently.

Blondie 2 and I had a jol and I loved it. I even got a tour of her primary school, high school, ex boyfriends homes, friends homes and her corner supermarket -all after midnight. Lovely.

I'm really getting annoyed with the home page on facebook. I know this is random, but it's literally just happened and changed what I was going to write about. Oooooooh, I'm seething!!!
I hate the Home Page because it shows everything that is done amongst friends and so forth. Cyber bullying. It exists.
Jealousy really does make you nasty.
I don't get people. I really really don't. I am genuinely and utterly respectful and excited for someone and their successes. I am not insecure in someones success, instead I'm inspired.
I don't mean to sound as if I'm just perfect and such a fantastic person, but I am being honest and a little perfect -haha. Narcistic? Me? Sorry...
I do not understand why people have to be so incredibly mean, bitchy and nasty about someone doing well in work, personally or any means that could make someone happy.
I saw exchanged comments written on 2 "friends" walls, purely by default of the home page.
I can be sensitive. Really sensitive. It doesn't, however, take a rocket scientist to know who they're talking about when they're talking about an achievement with my initials attached.
I'm livid.

That's all. Just needed the vent. Thanks blog.

14 days to go. I really am pathetic. Hahahaha

Poke me...I dare ya!

I'm getting used to this brunette hair (don't tell anyone) and I'm getting quite a thrill when people do a double take! I'm just going to take it as a good sign. I'm also giggling to myself when I walk down the corridors and people walk straight past me. I'll greet them, they'll greet back super politely as if I'm a client. In my head I count: 5-4-3-2-1 and they turn around: "Blogshell!! Oh my God!!!"
Oh how I amuse myself.
This change was exactly what I needed.

Oh and while I said I was going to close down my Facebook site...we all know that I really wasn't going to. I had every intention of it, but seriously... let's face it (pun intended.) Do I want to really cut myself off from the world? Do I really want to stop being a part-time voyeur? I think not.
Even though there was cyber-bullying going on, I'm not allowing "them" to affect me anymore and quite frankly I'm learning *slowly* that people will do and say what they want anyway.
It annoys me but I'm over it.
So... I want to ask a question that most people will probably scoff at, like: "Oh my word! She doesn't know what that is?? How far behind is she???"
What the HELL is the facebook poke?
Are you poking me as in...nudge; nudge or is it rude? Are you poking me as in...grrrr and light up a ciggie after the awesome experience??
WTF is the facebook poke?
All I can say is it's ANNOYING. So-and-so has poked you. Would you like to poke back?
Sure. Why not.
Did it make my day? Did it make yours?
I doubt it. Send me a bloody message, write on my wall, give me a free gift, give me a growing gift even...but bloody hell...you wanna poke me?
So that's something I was wondering.

Oh and my new word is: ADORABLE!
I can't seem to use it enough. It's just...adorable! You're adorable.

Wow...my world is super exciting, isn't it? I thought being brunette would make me smarter! Go figure!
;-p

OK, so that's what my post was for about an hour and I just couldn't leave it like that. Disgusting.
So, I got this email and thought I would share it:


1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No to the questions below!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone EMAILS you and Asks!

Kissed someone on your email list?
YES
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
YES
Been arrested?
NO
Kissed someone you didn't like?
YES
Ever got your heart broken?
YES
Fallen asleep at work/school?
NO
Held a snake?
YES
Been suspended from school?
NO
Broke any bones?
YES
Did karaoke?
YES
Did something you told yourself you wouldn't?
YES
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
NO
Been in love?
YES
Kissed in the rain?
YES
Sang in the bath.
YES
Sat on a rooftop
YES
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes?
YES
Shaved your head?
NO
Blacked out from drinking?
YES
Played a prank on someone?
YES
Felt like killing someone
YES
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife cry?
YES
Was in a band?
YES
Shot a gun?
NO
Ever slapped anyone?
YES
Donated Blood?
NO
Proposed to someone?
NO
Still love someone you shouldn't?
NO
Think about the future?
YES
Believe in love?
YES
Sleep on a certain side of the bed?
YES

There! I feel much better now!

I'm taking my privacy back...

I feel nauseous and I'm irritated that I have allowed this to affect me as much as it has.
I'm so pissed off at being so sensitive. I wish I had skin made from leather and didn't give a shit.
BUT, if that was true I wouldn't be me.
I care a lot and I'll admit it: I do care what people think.
Yes sure, you can't control what people think, but that doesn't change things for me. I still do.


Anyway with that said, I have always been a fan of Facebook. I have loved catching up with people I used to go to school with (from nursery school through to Varisty), used to work with and so on. I have enjoyed seeing what people look like these days, what they do etc etc...call me a Facebook Voyeur if you will.


I was addicted. It then lost it's appeal for a while. Oh alright, they banned it at work.
They have now unbanned it and as I haven't been on for so long, that appeal just never come back. It's actually become time consuming to see who has written on my wall, who has sent me a virtual drink or growing plant, who has poked and even superpoked me.

My good friends and I chat over the phone, over email or over champagne. The rest of my facebook friends and unknowns all send me the same messages: Hey! How are you? Just thought I'd pop in and say hi! or, How are you? What's news...we must catch up!


Argh.


I am now being harrassed. I am being harrassed by bitchy girls, some of them I don't even know (go figure) and by annoying horny boys (OK, they're tolerable - irritating but tolerable) and they're (the bitchy girls) actually affecting my friendships and relationships with rumours they're circulating.

I have no idea why they have made such a scandal...what do they gain? There is no grounds for this and while I do know the reason, I just cannot believe people are that cruel, insecure, bored and heartless.
Do they not know that action creates a reaction. Obviously not.


Should I care? No. Is it hurtful? Yes. Is it stressful? Unfortunately yes.

How do you do it? How do you let things roll off you? Teach me.


Maybe I am being drastic, but I don't think so. Facebook is an open window into my life, my friends lives and so forth. I am a very open person, but unfortunately it can be detrimental.


The funny thing is I've been thinking about closing my profile for a while. This has just rubber stamped it for me.
This way I am protecting myself, my privacy, my friendships and relationships.


I am sad, I've really enjoyed it and it's connected me to a lot of people I lost touch with over the years, but really, if we were supposed to be such great friends, we would have stayed in touch. This is better.

I think this is why my posts have been uber interesting. Ahem.
I am the type of person who really lives the naive feeling of: If I wouldn't do it to you; I don't expect it to be done to me.
I know it's unrealistic. If only the world was this way, it would be a much nicer place.
I would also have fewer shoe prints on my back from being a walkover.

I just can't believe these girls have been so mean and jealous. I would NEVER do that to someone. It's unbelievable.
I feel like I am in a time warp and I've been taken back to school.


Anyhoo, thanks for letting me vent a little... I thought this was hysterical:
The email title was: Some People have NO Class.
Sure, we're not asking you to wear a poloneck, but SERIOUSLY...

Weird one.

Well, I jinxed it didn't I?
No need to hate me anymore... I'm not going to NY! :-( *Sobs*
It's next bloody week and I don't have a visa, obviously.
Shit shit shit.

I have also had half an hour sleep. I wish I was exaggerating. I am exhausted! I have been up the whole night with the damn tickle in my throat that has forced me to cough and cough and cough....and cough. I was eventually sipping out of the cough mixture bottle and that didn't help. My throat is raw today and I sound even worse than I did yesterday. Thing is, I don't feel as sick as I sound.

I don't feel awful, I just hate the tickle, the phlegm (sorry) and that annoying cough that doesn't scratch it!
I've been overdosing on hot water, lemon slices and honey. Tastes divine and it soothes. Finally...some relief.

I guess I'm really just trying to avoid the doctor. I really want to get over this myself. I'm stubborn and I don't have, ahem, medical aid.
Yes. I know, I know!!! I've received all the lectures.

Ooooh and my nerdy side comes out now, but facebook was banned at work last year. I had withdrawl symptoms (nerd) and never really had the chance to go on facebook at home BUT... I got into work today to receive this:

The following website will be unblocked (Please use responsibly): Facebook

Rejoice! Hallelujah!! I am rather excited... I also thought I would be "soooo over" Facebook. Apparently not.

Oh the small things!

I'm also craving mince pies. The Christmassy kind.
Yes...I told you this post was a weird one.