I am going to be a toned and skinny ROCK STAR!

I'm starting a band. I'm preparing myself for the rockstar life that I know will be mine soon. I'm going to have to start getting used to the adoring fans, the throwing of underwear and the cramped hands from all the autograph signing.
I know it will be tough on the road, but *sigh* someone's gotta do it.
I played Guitar Hero and the drum kit for Guitar Hero like a rockstar. After every song the TV screen yelled out: YOU ROCK!!
I know, I know. Why be modest when you are pure brilliance?
Hahahahahaha!

What a jol! On Saturday night European Boy and I went over to the helicopter buddies for pizza and Guitar Hero. It was ridiculous how funny everyone is when they play. People stick their tongues out, their brows furrow, they squint their eyes and some even stop breathing...all in concentration. Oh and heaven help you if you dare cross in front of the TV screen. Lesson learnt ;-)
We had someone on the mic singing, someone on bass, someone on the guitar and someone on drums. It was very "rock and roll." I loved it.




In other news. Special K is killing me. I know that I will thank her but in the mean time I curse her, I huff and puff and I glare at her with the "why do you hate me so much?" sentiment.
According to her (and I quote): "By the time I am finished with you, Blondie, I will be able to crack eggs on your ass!"
She is my personal trainer, dietician and support system to lose 12 kgs and become toned and fabulous.
I have had enough. Sure, I lost a lot of weight from no emotional eating, going to gym etc... but it's not enough and I feel like I should be in my prime especially being in my mid twenties. The reality is, I'm not getting any younger and each second that passes, maintaining a figure gets harder and harder. I need to get a figure first and then try to maintain it.
I am a little scared to be honest and I'm nervous, because it is a lot of dedication and committment, but I am motivated and I really wanna do this. If I can stop smoking cold turkey after a pack a day for 8 years, then I am stronger than I think and have amazing will power to do anything I set my mind to.
I sound like I'm trying to convince myself more than you. You're probably right. Baby steps.
I have started a food journal, which actually really helps. I've read in Shape Magazine and other articles etc that keeping a food journal helps. I never really "got that" until now. I also train so hard at gym that the idea of putting a cheeseburger in my mouth afterwards kind of makes me feel like all that gym would have been a waste, so why bother.
I really want to do this properly, once and for all...so that I can maintain it. I'm doing this for myself and yes, let's be honest, my career too. Let's see how it goes. :-)

321...split personalities.

This is my 321 post. I guess it's not really a special significant number, I just liked that it was 3-2-1.
Random. I know.

I have been one complete yo-yo of late. It's like the schizo personalities have finally taken over. Or at least just one, other than me, Blondie.
Shutup.
You shutup.
See?

One part of me has been completely sane and the other part of me has gone insane.
This week I decided that since the no smoking was going really well (oh and I'm relieved the other personality doesn't like smoking either...something we're in sync with) that I would up it a notch and try and get back into eating well and my regular exercise routine with my mate, Sugar.
Sure, I was sick and had early meetings etc, but there really is no excuse now. Especially with Spring looming. And speaking of, oh my goodness, I'm excited for Winter to hibernate. I can't take the static shocks any more, and my jokes of: "It's the electricity between us" and "Did you feel that? We have a spark!" when I touch people and shock the shit out them is losing it's humour. The static frizz that's called my hair and the scaly legs that no amount of exfoliating or body butter helps is driving me nuts. I also can't handle having to put sunglasses on everytime I undress and see my naked lily white body.
And that would be lumpy body. Where did that cellulite come from? Is it an age thing or was it that extra helping of pasta Alfredo in the cold weather?
Hell no.
Gym it is. At 7am when it's been 5 degrees.
Yes. I know.
Desperate measures my friends. Sugar has also turned into quite the drill sergeant too.
I will sweat my ass off on the spinning bike or while I'm doing weights, whatever and then straight after gym, evil; unhealthy personality kicks in and craves cheeseburgers and chips (with vinegar) or chocolates. Mainly chocolates.
Bar Ones, Lunch Bars, Kit-Kats, Top Deck slabs, Tex bars, oh my, you name it, it's been devoured.
It's disgusting.
WTF? I mean seriously. You'd think that after all the torture I put myself through, I'd feel all "rah-rah-let's go!" and opt for a health sandwich or salad. Nope. "Hand me that chocolate bar. Now!" and "Yes please. I'd love that extra slice on cheesecake dribbled with strawberries!" come out of my mouth.
This horrible unhealthy personality is strong. She almost always wins.

Must find a way to banish her and quick before Spring comes around and lumpy, lily-white Blondie here has to take off the layers of clothes we've been hiding under.

OMG. See that above? I just referred to myself as "we."
This is not good.

In other news: I found an apartment. I am so bloody excited that I turned instantly into the jumping up and down, squealing girl from those American Teen Movies. I get to do house shopping now and I love house shopping. I love looking for furniture and photo frames and quirky salt and pepper shakers etc. Sigh. This is exciting.

Last day of my Mid Twenties

It is my last day of my quarter life crisis. Tomorrow I turn Twenty Sexy.

I am normally soooo excited about my birthday but I don't know if it's because of what's been going on or if I'm just blergh about being on the wrong side of 25.
Yes, yes...I'm still 4 years from 30, but seriously. These past 6 years flew by...um...

I'm sure that tomorrow will be all very lovely. Nothing a big fat piece of chocolate cake can't sort out.

Speaking of cake (or the lack of) I am down 5kgs so far. See? A break up can be a good thing.
Just kidding.

No seriously, I have always done boxing and as much as I love it, I haven't really seen as many results as I'd like to...perhaps it's just my body shape. Must be, because the women in my class all turned into buff goddesses. I was tired of being the blob in the class and so I decided to actually use my Virgin Active account - something I payed for every month and never used.
I started on the 5th January and although I've been pretty good, I didn't get a chance to go at all last week. I am doing shit loads of cardio, pilates and today I did my very first spinning class. Mother of ...
I was so stiff and sore five minutes after the class that I'm sure I'm going wake up tomorrow feeling like an old lady and no, it's not because I'm a year older.
The burn is all worth it. I will get down to my goal weight and I must be honest, I am feeling fantastic seeing the results.
It also helps being back at home... my family is amazingly healthy and I have been eating 3 meals a day, which to some is normal; to me it really was pure laziness.
Take today for instance... a fresh salad with tomatos and yellow peppers, fresh asparagus and tuna. Delicious, easy and healthy.

Tomorrow I will cheat and have lots and lots of cake. Hooray!

Oh and on a completely different note...Monte Casino is holding the SA Tennis Open. I went to watch last night. It was my first live tennis match and I loved every minute of it. I loved it so much that I bought tickets to go again tonight. Last night I watched Doubles of Kevin Anderson (SA) and Tsonga (French) play against two Spaniards. We then watched the single match between Cypriot Marcos Baghdatis and our very own Andrew Anderson. I loved the "challenges" when a player doesn't agree with the umpire. They turn to the electronic device that shows us where the ball lands. It's the small things you see? I loved it when the crowd went: Oooooooooh in the big build up to see where it lands and then everyone either goes: Yay! or Awww!
It was great.
Tonight I'm going to watch Tsonga and a SA dude. Fun.

Exercise horror.

I am on a major health kick at the moment. Ok, well I'm trying to be. I need to lose a few (10) kilo's in 2 months. I'm doing alright on the eating side... had the headache for the first few days but I'm slowly but surely adjusting.

Logically and realistically, I need to add exercise to this to really see the benefits.

I know some gym bunnies out there are going to gasp in horror, but the idea of exercise makes my palms sweat, my chest actually closes and I feel like I can't breathe. I am so unfit I know I'm going to DIE for the first few days.

I have also been here before and after those initial days felt fantastic and lost weight. Never managed to continue exercising though.

Each time this happens, it makes things harder to start up again.

I can find a trillion things I need to/have to/want to/must do instead of getting into my 'attractive', way-to-small grey tracksuit to work up a sweat!

Nightmarish stuff.

Just typing this blog makes me feel a little nauseous. I know I need to start somewhere but I cannot seem to get my head around this. Aaaah!!

I guess I am just in no shape to exercise! ;-)