Birthday Weekend

On Friday night I had my Twenty Sexy Birthday Party at Cedar Square. I hired out a private dining room and bar and had all my good friends there for dinner and drinks. It was absolutely fantastic. I had to drink so many birthday drinks that I am surprised I lasted as long as I actually did!
We landed up at FTV and eventually left at 3am. It was a total blast, even if I didn’t feel the same the next day.

I spent most of the day trying to recover for Sugar’s Twenty Sexy birthday party. It was at Colony Arms for the karaoke. I was warned that we would probably be the oldest there and not to expect too much. Um. Ok.
Well I felt as if I was surrounded by twelve year olds and I was back in my student days with drinks costing the bare minimum. It was great fun. I owned Britney Spears’ One More Time in karaoke. I even did some of the dance moves. Yes I did. What? The drinks were cheap. I met all of Sugars friends...great group of people... especially a certain someone;someone that caught my eye. But, *sigh* they left early so there went that idea! Haha! Just kidding!

I eventually went home at 1am and avoided the road blocks. Metro Cops had stopped striking so I think they were making up for lost time.

Sunday morning was spent driving to Hartebeespoort Dam with my family to a place called The Windmill. It sells organic fruit, vegetables, freshly baked bread, homemade jams and cheeses, amazing meat selections and so on. We love going there, stocking up on gorgeous foods and enjoying the drive with the roof down of the car and taking in the fresh air.

I got back just in time to get ready for the twins 30th birthday party at Longmeadow’s. Tables were set out in the garden and it was really beautiful... speeches were made, the most delicious food was served...don’t get me started on the chocolate brownie and white chocolate birthday cake. I went to spinning today and I think I just worked off the cake.

The Twins cutting their birthday cake!

Right so, after a hectic weekend, Monday night was spent in bed. Nope. It was spent at very good friends home. Survivor and his fiancé cooked Burmese chicken with a coriander and pear salad. Chocolate Soufflé was served for desert with chocolate tot glasses, Bailey’s Irish Cream and champagne. I laughed and laughed and had the best night. I only got home after midnight.

The single life is great… I’m doing whatever I like, how I like it and according to my style. Selfish? Not at all. I’m connecting with all the people I really love and never got a chance to spend as much time with as I liked. It’s not to say that I didn’t spend time with my friends, it’s just that I’m getting to spend MORE time with them. It’s wonderful.

BIRTHDAY!!

I'm TWENTY SEXY today!! Yes I am.

I have had one of the most special birthdays and have felt like a billion (not Zim) dollars today! I have been completely spoilt!

My family gave me the most beautiful gifts... I received a satin pencil skirt from my sister, Thomas Sabo star charm with small diamonds for my Thomas Sabo bracelet and a phenomenal 3 piece luggage set for my travelling.

My mom, dad and sister took me out for a delicious birthday breakfast.

I got home and then Special K took me to Byzance for lunch. It was perfect. We overlooked the lake, watched the rain and ate mushrooms with artichoke pesto & halloumi croutons and choux with goats cheese and spiced figs.

To end it off we drank warm Irish coffees and had the most amazing chat about love, life and friendship. It was so special. She gave me the most beautiful BVLGARI necklace. SPOILT!!

The messages of love have poured in and I'm feeling so incredibly special!

Tonight I am going home to have a delicious home cooked meal with champagne with the family!

Friday night is my birthday party! I. am. so. so. so. excited!

Last day of my Mid Twenties

It is my last day of my quarter life crisis. Tomorrow I turn Twenty Sexy.

I am normally soooo excited about my birthday but I don't know if it's because of what's been going on or if I'm just blergh about being on the wrong side of 25.
Yes, yes...I'm still 4 years from 30, but seriously. These past 6 years flew by...um...

I'm sure that tomorrow will be all very lovely. Nothing a big fat piece of chocolate cake can't sort out.

Speaking of cake (or the lack of) I am down 5kgs so far. See? A break up can be a good thing.
Just kidding.

No seriously, I have always done boxing and as much as I love it, I haven't really seen as many results as I'd like to...perhaps it's just my body shape. Must be, because the women in my class all turned into buff goddesses. I was tired of being the blob in the class and so I decided to actually use my Virgin Active account - something I payed for every month and never used.
I started on the 5th January and although I've been pretty good, I didn't get a chance to go at all last week. I am doing shit loads of cardio, pilates and today I did my very first spinning class. Mother of ...
I was so stiff and sore five minutes after the class that I'm sure I'm going wake up tomorrow feeling like an old lady and no, it's not because I'm a year older.
The burn is all worth it. I will get down to my goal weight and I must be honest, I am feeling fantastic seeing the results.
It also helps being back at home... my family is amazingly healthy and I have been eating 3 meals a day, which to some is normal; to me it really was pure laziness.
Take today for instance... a fresh salad with tomatos and yellow peppers, fresh asparagus and tuna. Delicious, easy and healthy.

Tomorrow I will cheat and have lots and lots of cake. Hooray!

Oh and on a completely different note...Monte Casino is holding the SA Tennis Open. I went to watch last night. It was my first live tennis match and I loved every minute of it. I loved it so much that I bought tickets to go again tonight. Last night I watched Doubles of Kevin Anderson (SA) and Tsonga (French) play against two Spaniards. We then watched the single match between Cypriot Marcos Baghdatis and our very own Andrew Anderson. I loved the "challenges" when a player doesn't agree with the umpire. They turn to the electronic device that shows us where the ball lands. It's the small things you see? I loved it when the crowd went: Oooooooooh in the big build up to see where it lands and then everyone either goes: Yay! or Awww!
It was great.
Tonight I'm going to watch Tsonga and a SA dude. Fun.

Chapters in my life

This weekend involves:

Dinner tonight at a very beautiful, trendy restaurant.
Pilates.
A birthday party, where I am going to wear a new dress I bought and team it with my suicidal stilettos and dance the night away with my mates.

and then...

I'm moving all my furniture out on Sunday and I have all my mates and family coming to help me. I'm going to need a stiff drink or three afterwards, so the deal is that once we've moved and put my things into storage, we're going to go out and slurp cocktails.... they'll certainly symbolize the end of a chapter and the start of a new one.
I'm feelin OK about Sunday...but I don't know how brave I'll be on the actual day. Thank GOD for Special K, Blondie 2, Sugar, mom, dad and my sister who are going to be there!

I have received a few messages from someone and they have made me smile. It's good to know there is life after "death" :-)

The East Rand

Last night was a mates birthday! He's one of my man's closest mates. Seriously. The whole group has been friends for 15 years and counting...it's quite incredible actually!
So, my man and I were getting ready for the birthday party being held in The East, when he suddenly discovered he didn't have any hair gel. I suggested hair spray but he looked at me as if I had grown another head.
Mission 1: Find hair gel at 20h45.
We missioned to 5 petrol stations quick shops...they sell everything but hair gel. Gel companies should think about stocking gel at Quick Shops. Seriously. We can't be the only couple after 8pm, who needs hair gel. Seriously. You can buy Brooklax at a Quickshop, but not hair gel? Um...
Moving on, I suggested the 7/11 down the road. They didn't even stock gel. I suggested we go to the hospital. Surely they have a pharmacy that should stock hair gel. I thought I was onto a winner, but the 24 hour hospital has no 24 hour pharmacy. Go figure!?!
We eventually found an open cafe and what did we find?? No hair gel. Just hairspray. We missioned for an hour. That hour could have been spent drinking and dancing if he had just used my hair spray in the first place. Men. Just saying.

Right, so we eventually arrive. The drinks are flowing, the music is pumping and our mates from the East asked: "When you come here, do you notice a huge difference between the North and the East?"
"Um... The one thing I do notice is how unpretentious everyone is. It's lovely."
That was said in the beginning of the night. I started to notice things and boy was it entertaining.

Apparently it's a normal occurence,in the East, to rev cars and dicing each other at traffic lights is considered recreational fun.

You add alcohol, a lot of people into High Flyers Club and all of sudden a scuffle breaks out. I have never really witnessed a fight in a club. Sure, maybe a shirt being grabbed here or there, but nothing hectic with fists flying and the likes. I started walking outside to get some fresh air, because it was so crowded and hot that I was feeling a little claustraphobic. The next thing I know I have walked right up to a couple that are arguing. Before I know it this girl has shoved her man backwards. He stumbles and is about to crash into me, when my man grabs me (my hero...awww) to avoid being hurt and the birthday boy puts his arm around me drawing me closer to our group. The next thing I know the dude punches the chick right in the face. She's screaming, people are intercepting and holding the dude and the chick back. She takes her high heel off and leers at him trying to hit him again. I was absolutely fascinated. That sounds revolting I know, but I have never in my life seen anything like that! I mean dude! WTF?? Eventually the people that have intervened are dragging the two out of the club. I start walking (a distance behind) and see blood all over the floor. The parking lot became a screaming match and a struggle to tear the two apart. Blogshell was gobsmacked. Excuse the pun.

After all the commotion, we went back inside and had a jol. We were singing and dancing and trying to get the attention of the DJ who kept shouting into the mic: "Whooo waaants some ice cooold chaaaampaaaaaaagnnnnne?"

The birthday boys wife and I went ballistic trying to get that bloody bottle. Some blonde tart with a "why bother dress" flashed the DJ and won. Obviously. We were disappointed. I also didn't need champagne that badly. We smashed love potions and Jaegerbombs and eventually called it a night.

Gotta love the East Rand. I really had a blast!

Saturday Night...

Dude...my weekend was totally insane!! The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Launch was well, um...sexy!
It's just NOT FAIR. No honestly. I know I'm going to sound like such a chick now, but how is it possible for one human being to be that tall and toned with a button nose, piercing eyes, gorgeous hair and not a pimple or dimple in sight?
Wait. I sound like I'm perving. OK wait...this is the "chick" part. I was literally looking for flaws. I was looking and looking and I'm sure I must have looked rather bitchy, but I was gobsmacked. No fair; no fair!
I was utterly exhausted and got home at midnight. Blondie 2 stayed over in the spare bedroom that I'm convinced is haunted. Another story for another day.

Saturday was the day I MC'd for 7 hours and to be honest, I had such a jol! I was exhausted at first, but there is something about 6000+ people all screaming and whistling at you that can perk you up quite a bit. Just saying.

Right, so I'm getting to the good part! SATURDAY NIGHT! Blondie 2 and Special K came over to my crib (because I'm ghetto like that) and we did something so High School and I loved it! We got ready, we did each others make-up, helped with hair and took photo's. As you do.
We were getting ready for Daddy Long Legs Birthday Party. We weren't quite sure how "sober" he would be considering he had been on a pub crawl from 10am; so we were figuring we'd have a party anyway.
We arrived in the pouring rain and managed to hobble (quickly) through the puddles in stiletto's to the venue. We were right, he was a mad/glazed-eyed man who was dancing with anything that moved or didn't move, as the cleaners broom stick got to discover.
We danced, downed shooters and laughed the whole night long. I was having a swell time until it was my turn to go to the bar and get a round of drinks. A guy in a red shirt came up behind me and started dancing with my back...No. Grinding his stiffy into my back. It was horrifying. I turned around but he had moved onto his next victim with his "I can't quite see you, but you must be woman" look.
Two hours later, it was my turn again. I went to the bar and stood next to someone I haven't seen in ages! So there I am, chatting away when I feel some wet splashes on my leg. I didn't think anything of it because I had heard a glass drop. The next second, I feel a LOT more liquid on my leg travel straight into my shoe. I whip around to see Red Shirt guy keeled over the bar vomitting his guts out. Well. I have never been so repulsed. The bouncers removed him and I spent 15 minutes in the bathroom, emptying my shoe out and cleaning my leg, wretching from the smell.
I promptly sprayed half a bottle of Michael Kors onto my leg and went back to party.

At about 02h30, we all piled back into Special K's car and went in search of pies. The first garage we stopped at only had 2 and none of us were feeling charitable enough to share; so we moved on.
At the next Sasol garage we found 3 pies waiting for us, I mean they literally had our names on them. Instead of eating and driving (it's sooo dangerous!); we found a small table with two chairs on them. Special K and Blondie plonked their asses down and left me to sit on the ice-cream drawer. I like to think I was freezing my assets.
So, we're pretty "happy" - a lovely warm alcohol glow stuffing our pie holes with, well, pies when our victim arrived.
At this stage, we are pretty fucking hilarious. Blondie 2 goes up to him (he's buying a Fanta) and decides to be one of those sales woman that irritate the shit out of you in the supermarket.
She walked up behind him, picks up a box of washing powder and proceeds to be a cheesy salesman.
Mr. I Have No Funny Bone says to her: "I don't think you're very funny! I mean no girls should be eating pies at 3am!"
Say what? Oh no he didn't! (Ghetto Blondie is da bomb!)
Well, all 3 of us mature girls starting hucking him. Eventually Blondie 2 put the washing powder and handed him a box of Brooklax. Priceless.
I nearly wet myself.

Ah, the good times!!!

What weekend??

My week has been hectic as far as work is concerned and weird working hours, but the real chaos starts today.
I have sound check for a corporate function I’m MC-ing tomorrow, later on today; I have to be on the other side of Joburg to do 2 voice overs and then fly back to work. All of this needs to be done within a space of 2 hours today.

After work, it’s the standard get-ready-in-the-office-bathrooms for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Edition Launch Party – sheesh, this was more of a mouthful than most models can consume. ;-) Couldn’t resist. Sorry.
As excited as I am to party, I really must say that standing next to bronzed, silky, skinny, cellulite and stretch mark free, “we-basically-produce-our-own powder-on-our-perfect-faces-because-we-never-shine” models; rates right up there with, um...I don’t know... glass gargling.

So that means I now have to make sure I go for the “uber glam, stylish, sexy, what this old thing? I haven’t tried too hard” look. Blondie 2 and I have to go – it’s a compulsory work thing. We’re going to sip on champagne and tell each other how amazing we look and that if Sports Illustrated ever had to do a Real Woman Swimsuit Issue, we’d be their first 2 picks. We would. Give me another glass of champers. We’ll talk about how boring it must be to look in the mirror every day and just look that gorgeous. How annoying it must be to walk around giving men whiplash.
Yawn. How boring. ;-)

I then need to be up early on Saturday morning, make sure I look like a million rand...no dollars...no euros, and head down to the corporate function. It starts in the morning and ends in the afternoon. Tomorrow night Daddy Long Leg’s is having his birthday party. I have two words. Raucous Fun.
On Sunday I get to have a slight lie-in before I go off to MC a charity function for Breast Cancer.

See? Like I said, my busiest time. I figured out how to explain it. It’s like getting on a rollercoaster. It’s exciting and thrilling but there’s no end to it and you wanna get off. Immediately.
I know I sound like I’m complaining. It’s not that I’m not enjoying what I’m doing or grateful for the amount of work pouring in, I just need a holiday. How many times can I type this in one post? Dude!
You’ll totally understand when I tell you this.
I had a break for 10 days in January 2008. I haven’t had a day off this year (other than sick leave and that DEFINITELY doesn’t count) and the last holiday I had before the 10 days in January?
2 years ago. Basically, I have had a 10 day holiday in 3 years.
See why I’m being such a crabby bitch?

Tropical Dreams

So, we postponed the drinking Cosmopolitans to this weekend! How fabulous. I think it's now progressed to Champagne. Even more fabulous.


I haven't managed to get any birthday gifts yet. I know. I'm a horrible friend. I absolutely HATE showing up at a party empty handed. At this stage, even a gift voucher would be better than nothing. I feel awful, but luckily they will understand. I have had a week that has flown by. I have been up at the crack of dawn and crashed into bed for 4 hours of sleep, until the alarm clock terrorises the room for the next day to start all over again.
Madness, but it's been fun. Maybe I am sadistic.


I need a holiday. I can smell it, taste and yet sadly, I just can't touch it. I want to get out of this city. I need to. I'm going crazy. I need white sandy beaches, turquoise water, palm trees, suntan lotion and pina coladas.

I have never ever been to an island and I would love to go to one. At this stage I'm not fussy, but I would love to go to the Caribbean. Mauritius must be beautiful but it seems so common these days. God, I've turned into an island snob.
I would love to drive to the airport right now. International Departures and get onto a plane to piss off for 3 weeks.
How lovely and enticing.



Back to reality.


I reckon, I'll ditch the Cosmo's for Pina Colada's and find a sandpit to run around in. Hey. with the amount of construction going on, I'm sure there must be plenty of sand to run around in.
I'll lather myself in suntan lotion and watch the Travel Channel.


Have a brilliant weekend!

Supermodel for the day...

Hale-bloody-lujah!!

Blogger HATES me. I have been trying to log on all this time and I haven't been able to. I thought I'd try this one last time and voila!!

I guess all my threatening works.

Damn, it's been busy!! Blondie 2's birthday was yesterday and we celebrated with cake at the office and loud singing -as you do.

So, before I get into the office, I call the birthday girl to wish her and I hear her whispering originally, but as the conversation goes on, she get's louder and louder.

B2: Aw Blondie, thanks love! I'm having a brilliant day!

B: What are you doing tonight?

B2: Going for dinner with the family.

B: Niiice. I should call your mom. After all it is birth-giving day for her too

B2: That it is. Can you believe 26 years ago my mother pushed me out of her vagina?

B: Um, well, fuck, yes...interesting thought.

B2: Vagina. Vagina. Vagina. Love that word. Vag... Oh shit...

B: What's going on?

B2 whispering: I'm in a press conference.

B: Fuck off. Seriously?

B2: Yup. Apparently, I'm louder than the speaker. Oh great. I'm getting death stares now. Gotta go.

Love her.

Tomorrow night Zob, Special K, Blondie 2 and I are going to celebrate all 3 of their birthdays!! Should be a complete debaucherous night. Good. Can't wait.

The Cosmopolitans had better be amazing. I am looking forward to wrapping my lips around those pretty martini glasses.

I had a photo shoot today. Man. I really enjoyed it, but seriously. How the hell do you give a "sexy look"; a "angry look"; a "seductive look" and a "really seriously happy look" without looking like a cheesy freak?

It's hard. Suck in the tummy so you can barely breathe, make sure the back is straight but not stiff, adjust the twins so they look boobalicious oh and please, look natural.

Sure.

Just an average day in the office, right? Dude. Insanity. How the hell do these models do it?

My cheeks are sore, I have more make-up on than a tranvestite and more hairspray in my goldilocks than Patricia Lewis does.

I'm prepared to take a bet.

BUT...the photo's are fuckalicious. I'm just saying. Modestly.

I'm proud.

Birthdays. X3

Gosh I’ve been lazy. In every respect. I’ve been lazy on my blog, at work( well, ok, not with that) and even with going out. I have been the laziest this weekend. I don’t think I’ve got out of my pajama’s unless I’ve really really had to. DVD’s, take-out and not an ounce of alcohol. It’s been nice. Nice and relaxed.
I think my body has had enough. I think it’s really just gone on strike and not in the sick way, but in the “if you want to do anthing; you’re really going to have to put some effort in to move me” kind of way.
It’s a good thing because the week I have ahead is insanely busy. It starts Monday morning and only really slows down on Thursday.

I’ve decided I need new friends. I’ve told them as much, too :-)

Good grief. 3 of my closest friends are born within a few days of each other. I have a triple whammy of birthday’s, birthday cake, birthday parties and birthday presents. Seriously. Blondie 2’s birthday is on Tuesday, Special K’s birthday is on Sunday and Zob’s birthday is on the Monday.
I’ve told them that I’m “losing their numbers” until the 07 October. They think I’m kidding.
All 3 girls are so similiar and so different at the same time. To try and find 3 different birthday gifts that are thoughtful, special and unique to their personalities is a challenge and with the week I have, I’m not sure when I’m going to get this right.

I absolutely adore giving gifts. There is nothing better that putting in a lot of effort in order to find something that they will love and then watching their faces as they open up the carefully wrapped gift. It is my best!
I hardly ever give gift vouchers. I need to find something that I know they’ll adore, that will make their faces light up and will make them feel like a princess on their special day.
I love gift wrapping too. Man, you should see me at Christmas. I am insane.
There is nothing worse than putting effort in and seeing someone half heartedly look at the gift and mumble a “Thanks.”
I know a few people like that. They get gift vouchers.

The man always teases me. The only reason you like buying gifts is so that you can buy something for yourself.
What? I. do. not.
Oh yes you do. What about JB? You bought her one of those fancy handbags, whatchacallit, and you bought one for yourself too.
It’s called Nine West and that was a coincidence.
You bought Special K something last year, I can’t remember, and you bought the same thing for yourself in another colour and you always buy your sister what you would ultimately like.
Gasp! I. Don’t!
You do. Face it.

Does this make me selfish? I guess I do buy some things. SOME things that I would like, but only because I know that we’re very similiar and that she would love it too. The logic is this. If I love it; she’ll love it.
We’re friends and therefore we have a lot in common.
Good grief. Maybe I am a selfish buyer...but I DO put a lot of effort into gifts to the unique person and shopping for gifts allows me to shop with a purpose. If I had to buy these sorts of things for myself, just because, I’d feel too guilty.
Shopping for someone else allows me to look at things I ordinarily wouldn’t look at and so I get a few things for myself too. I’m there. Might as well!

Are you buying this?*

Have I convince you or myself?

*Excuse the pun. Oh I amuse myself.

PS> Note to self: Self, get your ass into the boxing gym. You’ve been slack! Enough.

Detoxing and wind...say what?

Today is the 28th of August. The Windy month. Today has been the first bit of wind we've experienced. I'm not complaining. Thing is, my sinus' are. I am actually struggling to breathe with all the dust and muck circulating through the air. Argh!

Last night rocked. Yes it did. We drank copious amounts of shooters and transformed New Years and the birthday into one. When we "cheers-ed" we all clunk the glasses together shouting: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
It was fun for us. Not so much for the other people, after the 8th or 12th time. Odd that.
A couple of my mates are going on a 6 week detox of no alcohol. Where is the fun in that? Seriously.
I started thinking about this. Is it that hard?

Yes.

Oh shit. Am I an alcoholic?

Noooo.... Am I?

I have been looking back at some of my posts. Debauchery, hangovers, copious amounts of alchohol.
Crap.

Maybe I should do the detox and see how long I last? Can The Blogshell refrain from alcohol for 6 weeks?
Gulp.

That's what SHE said!!

So I am pretty much exempt of all troubles until next August. I rock. Well he does now as the Rock Legend on Guitar Hero PS2 game. Hysterical. There he was sitting in his slippers rocking out to the TV and blaming the "stupid machine" when he missed a note.
Good times.
Tonight we hit Tanza Night for some fun, drinks and birthday celebrations. Yay.

There are just some questions you don't ask men. Even I know that.
I was chatting to a mate of mine on the balcony (he's a dude) and I just couldn't help laughing my panties off. Hilarious. I was laughing so hard because it was the exact conversation the man and I had last week. Almost word for word too.
Balcony dude: So, you went back to blonde! Nice. My wife wants to go back to blonde too.
Blondie: Oh really?
Balcony dude: She's been brunette for a year and half and wants to go back.
Blondie: Well, if you are blonde and you experiment, apparently you always go back.
Balcony dude: Ja, she wanted my opinion.
Blondie: And?
Balcony Dude: Well, it was difficult. I told her she looks gorgeous as a blonde.
Blondie: Uh-oh. I bet she looked at you like, "Oh, so what? For a year and a half I've looked like a troll?"
Balcony Dude: Oh my God? Were you spying? That's exactly what she said.
Blondie: Yup...I'm afraid it's a thing us women do. It's like asking you: "Does my ass look big in this?" So, what did you say?
Balcony Dude: I said that: "My baby, you look gorgeous no matter what colour your hair is!"
Blondie: Noooo!! That's what my man said! You guys really do have a book of 'sayings' don't ya?
Balcony Dude: Ja, but who ever wrote the 'Saying's for Men' book didn't have this one covered, because she then asked me, "Well? What do you prefer?"
Blondie: Ahhahahahaha...that's what I did!! Dude!

Men...damned if they do and damned if they don't.
Moral of the story? Best you keep trying!!

PS> I felt this incredible urge to use colour in this blog. Just thought you might like to know.

I am the best girlfriend. I know!

I reckon I am the best girlfriend. I'm just saying.

I'll take on the challenge. Ha ha ha! Ok I am kidding, but I reckon I could rate up there quite highly after what I've done.

It's my mans birthday tomorrow. I have just bought him the Guitar hero for PS2. Am I not the perfect girlfriend? The modest perfect girlfriend?

Ha ha!

Oh and I've bought him slippers too cos I'm getting annoyed that he keeps using mine. Besides, fluffy slippers are so last season for guys.

"Stop wearing my slippers. Get your own."

"Baby, I only wear them when you don't!"

"But you don't give them back to me when I do need them. You do know that they're black fluffy girly slippers, right?"

"Ja and? No one will see me in them."

"Not until I Youtube you. Or post pics up on my blog."

"What blog?"

"I didn't say blog...(shit, shit, crap, crap) I said, post pics up on the bog...as in public toilets...everywhere."

"You wouldn't do that to me."

"You reckon?"

Photo's to follow soon.

So yes, back to me being the best girlfriend ever. Oh and don't forget modest.

Kidding.

I am loving the fact that summer is around the corner. Yes please. Watermelon, suntan lotion, bronzed bodies, pool parties, sundowners, skirts, gladiator sandals, no jackets at night, the smell of fresh rain and jasmine, no more static shocks, no more itchy, dry skin and the definite smell of cocunut oil!

Bring it on!!

Madiba Magic

Ok seriously. I have had it. WTF is going on? I am eating healthily, I am exercising, I am taking vitamins, I am basically healthier than I have been in years and yet I have the flu again.
This is my third time now in the last 3 months.
WTF?
I have had enough. I am done. I don’t do sick and I am a lousy “sick person.”
I woke up with a sore throat yesterday morning and was immediately like, “Oh no, no, no, no!”
By 16h30, my joints were in agony, I felt weak, I had a head that felt like it might burst and waves of nausea that made my mouth fill up with saliva.
Awful. I sweated the fever and must have had over 12 hours of sleep. Restless sleep.
I feel a little better today and I’m pumping myself with flu/cold medication. I don’t think I can afford to take any more sick leave.
Enough is enough and I’m getting tough with my body now.

My mom was released from hospital yesterday (even though we don’t know what is wrong with her and we’re still waiting for the test results.)
On Saturday afternoon, my mom nearly choked on her tea. She was lying in her ward, when in walked Nelson Mandela and his wife with 4 body guards.
He had apparently been visiting a friend in ICU and decided to visit the ward down the corridor. The ward my mom happened to be in.
Madiba and his wife went up to my mom and said: “All the best!”
It’s quite incredible really. What are the chances of meeting Madiba in any circumstance?
I arrived to visit 10 minutes after he had left. Great.
“Blondie! You’re back to blonde. Oh I’m glad! You’re much better blonde!”
“Thanks Mom. How are you feeling?”
“Oh I am just fantastic. Guess who I met? Nelson Mandela!”
“What? Mom, have the nurses increased your medication?”
“No. He was here. He came to visit me.”
“Um...mom? Seriously. He came to visit you?”
“Uh-huh. Madiba and his lovely wife Graca Michel! Oh and she’s beautiful. She was wearing a white and navy dress suit, and her skin is beautiful. She’s really immaculate.”
“Mom! What are you talking about?”
“Madiba came to visit me. He had 4 body guards and everything. What a wonderful man. He was wobbling on his walking stick but he has such an aura and presence! It was amazing.”
“Nurse? Is my mom alright?” I start to whisper now, “She says Madiba came to visit her!”
Nurse: “Oh he did!”
“What?!?”
“Well, he came to visit a friend in ICU and visited this ward too. What an amazing thing.”
“See Blondie? Told you so! Here look at my cellphone. I took photos.”
“Good grief! How exactly did you do that? Um, sorry Madiba? Please hold on for 2 seconds while I get my phone out so I can take a photo of you!”
“Of course I did!”
“Mom! You amaze me!”

It’s my mom’s birthday today! Happy Happy Mom! I’m sure your test results will come back soon and the news will be a belated birthday present!
Love you lots!
x

My life is so awesome...

It's my little sisters birthday today. She has turned the double trouble terrible 2's! ;-)
Happy Birthday darling!!
You are the most incredible sister I could have ever hoped for. You are kind, considerate, thoughtful and so generous. I wish there were more people in the world like you.

The birthday breakfast was delicious. Early, but delicious. The service was really really slow. Isn't that annoying? I've decided I'm going to refuse eating at an empty restaurant. Have you noticed this? If the place is empty, the service is painfully slow. If the place is pumping you get service almost immediately. I suppose the saying of 'when you're busy, you get more things done' is true!
The poor birthday girl was the last to receive her food and it was wrong.
Lovely.
She got spoilt. Oh yes she did!
I personally gave her the new Jodi Picoult Book, La Senza pink fluffy slippers and I made her a beautiful red Swarovski necklace and matching earrings.
Yup...made them.

Last night went better than I thought. The hopefully-soon-to-be-mom-in-law and I went to dinner and a movie last night. It was really great and lovely but when the 10pm movie came around I could NOT keep my eyes open. This. has. never. happened. to. me. before!! How embarrassing! The big question was: Did I snore?
I wasn't sure if I should throw my slush puppy over my head, take my jacket off so that I wasn't too snug and kept trying to change position (difficult in those movie seats) so that I looked like someone had put itching powder on my seat.
My eyes were watering at a stage and the worst part was that afterwards she kept saying: Oh and remember this part, when he was standing in a tree, what was his name again, the actor?
In my head: Oh. my. God! There was a man in a tree?
Out loud: "Ah hahaha!! That was funny, eh? Hmm...um...what is his name? Um...."
In my head: Oh shit. Did she know I was sleeping? Maybe there wasn't a man in a tree. Why would a man be in a tree? Oh fuck. She bust me!
Out loud: Great movie! Every scene was just hilarious!! Hilarious!!
There. My bases are covered.

I was annoyed though. 1 word: MEN!
I wanted to try out my new boxing punch on him. I call to find out if he bought milk, bread and sugar (BASICS) and he says he hasn't but not to worry because he'll get some.
Now...his mom is staying over at us and even though it is not expected, I want to show that I am a good home maker, you know, as in Martha Stewart without the criminal record!
I really need to, considering the fact that our ancient (no, not antique) lounge suite's springs gave way so now we have to pile pillows on top to actually see over the coffee table.
Obviously we were out for the evening so we would only need this items in the morning. Did he get the items??
What do you think?
Fuck. She got black unsweetened coffee with no toast! The woman who always has LOTS of milky coffee with LOTS of sugar!
I'm hoping my charm is still a winner and that she thinks snoring and wriggling in a movie house is cute.

My life is just so awesome.

Ramblings

I started my boxing classes yesterday. Yup. I took the plunge or is it lunge? I have postponed going because I know that once I start, I wont allow myself to stop.
Well...they say that your body has muscle memory right? Every one of my muscles who has had a lovely long vacation screamed: "Present!" "I'm here!!" "I'm here too!" "Forget about me? I'm also present!"
I am in such pain. In fact, the only piece of anatomy that isn't in agony is my hands, feet and face.
I'm glad I started though. I'm determined to get sexy for Summer. I was actually thinking about taking a headless photo of myself before and then taking a headless pic after 3 months! You know, for motivation!
I didn't want to scare people away though. I might crack the camera lens.
BUT, I'm feeling good!

It is my sister's birthday tomorrow and we're going for a family birthday breakfast at 9am. The thing is my boxing class only ends at 9am and I could give tomorrow a miss, but I'm afraid that's how it starts! If I miss classes in my first 2 weeks, that's it...I'm a gonner!
I'm gonna be late tomorrow and I'm going to arrive all sweaty! Sexy!
Oh and my man's mom lives far away so I suggested she come through tonight, sleep over and then we go to the breakfast. It will save her so much time with the traffic. Thing is, my man has a function to go to tonight. We could go, but she doesn't really want to so I suggested we go out for some dinner and a movie.
Aren't I nice? Haha!

Speaking of movies, I have no idea how this came up but a bunch of my mates and I were chatting about various movies that are dubbed as: Classics.
They're the type of movies where people chat about them or quote a famous movie line. I normally look at them blankly and say: "Never seen it."
I always get the: drop-jaw, gasped "You haven't seen it?? Noooo!!!! Oh you have to see it!"
I clearly missed the very important movie-watching boat. I haven't seen movies like: Gone with the Wind; Reservoir Dogs and now I can't remember the others (damn Murphy's Law)... but if it's a classic; there's a 90% chance I haven't seen it!

Speaking of my "friend" Murphy's Law, I washed my white car today for the first time in months!! I'd actually forgotten it was white...it was a lovely brown-grey...I'm surprised I didn't have the words: WASH ME scratched out.
I washed it today thinking: The chances of rain in Winter are slim, so there! I can wash it today. Maybe it will snow and in that case, AWESOME! I missed the snow when it fell last year. Yup. It fell everywhere except at my house.
So sure...let it snow!
But nooooo...I wash my car and it's lovely and fragrant, sparkly, it's actually white and what happens? I have to drive through a road that has a water pipe leak. Awesome. 3 cars flew into the puddle splashing icky mud water all over my lovely "clean" car!
Fuckers.

Weekend was...um...weird

What a weekend! Oh. My. God!

Where to start?

Friday night I went to the Jozi Comedy Festival. I laughed so much that I cried and I haven't done that in a long time! I don't know if maybe I'm just maybe...um....weird...*don't answer that*, but I laughed so hard that it caused me to sneeze. My laughter kept tickling something that made me have sneezing fits!!
Weird.

Saturday was the awfully weird and wonderful evening. It was a mate of our's(The Rock Star) birthday parties. It started off all very civilised...you know, at a restaurant with cutlery and actual wine glasses as opposed to any old glass for your box wine! You know how it is!!
It went down hill from there. We ordered 27 Jaegermeisters for the birthday boy...yeah right!! We distributed them between the group and all of a sudden 27 shots doubled before we knew it!
I am still unsure how we landed up where we did, but it came up and all of a sudden we were all screaming the likes of: YAY!! Let's do it!! What fun!! We're going to have such a jol!!!
We ended up (about 8 of us -guys and gals) at...Teazers
I had to write it in small because seriously... dont judge. I still cannot believe we went!! It wasn't as bad as I was expecting. I was expecting to sit there and not know where to look, but it was actually so mild. Ok...it wasn't so mild when a table dance was ordered...that was ahem...ewww!!
You know...it was what it was: group of mates having a right old giggle, blushing and laughing. The best was the men looking awkward as if they don't want to look because we (the girlfriends) were sitting right next to them. That was fun.
Sure, if I had to analyze, it is exploitation...it's disgusting and oh so wrong...but hey!
It was what it was.

We then went to the Red Room. It's not my scene at all but I had a blast. Non-commercial music with lots of people wearing black with on-purpose-holy-stockings, docmartins and sporting piercings in weird places. I have vowed, just for shits and giggles, that if I ever do go back there, I'm going to dress like Paris Hilton. In stiletto's, a pink sparkly dress and a tiara! As you do there. Classic.

Sunday was hang-over day. My favourite!
I had the best intentions of eating Strawberries and Cream in support of the most incredible Wimbledon Men's Final I have ever seen, but I just couldn't stomach it!
Pity.
Oh and I adore him and I'm glad Rafael Nadal is the champion (even though I should've been supporting Federer)
He's Mowgli from the Jungle Book:

2nd blog of the day -aren't you lucky? Ha!

Well, it seems I am having MORE blonde moments than ever before. Is that possible? A-ha! I have just uncovered a conspiracy theory. It's the BRUNETTES who are actually the ones palming off their silliness on blondes. I'm onto you!
Seriously, is it possible?
The funny thing is that mentally I am still blonde, right, so there I am doing silly things and shouting out: "Oh well, I'm blonde!"
People who haven't known me before look at me like I'm a little strange...or colour blind.
Odd.

I finished work this morning and went up to visit the gals in marketing. They're brilliant, fun, quirky and a bag of laughs! I have great relationships with them and we all speak to each other fabulously, like: "What's happenin' sexy biatches?"
As you do.

I eventually got out of work and went home. As I got home my phone rang and it stated that it was Private Number (I never answer these, well, hardly ever.)
BB:"Blogshell hello?"
Redd: "Hi Blogshell, it's Redd!"
BB: "Hey you sexy lady!"
Silence.
BB: "What's up biatch?"
Silence.
BB: "Hello?"
Redd: "I think you have the wrong person. This is Redd....your boss."
They share the same bloody name and I had Redd from marketing on the brain.
I wanted to die. I wanted to cancel the call and hope like hell Groundhogs day actually exists.

I'm back at work now and have a birthday party to go to tonight. I can't drink though because I'm back at work tomorrow at 04h30.
I cannot tell you how fun that is in winter!

A random post...

Thanks for your advice on FB - greatly appreciate it :-)

There is something magical about being at home in the evenings, snuggled on the couch with a warm blanket and hearing a thunderstorm boom outside. It is weird to hear in winter, especially in Johannesburg. It hardly ever rains.

I love cold days for completely shallow reasons. It's for the fashion. I love scarves, hats, warm jackets and stylish boots.

Oh and another one bites the dust. One of my friends, Skinny girl has got engaged. We're all a little shocked but happy (don't get me wrong) for her. She's known this dude for 2 months and broke up with her last boyfriend of 2 years in February.
I am now officially the last girl in my group of friends to not have a sparkly piece of bling on my finger.
Am I upset? Nope. I know my time will come when the timing is right and I'm very content in that.

However, the thing with society that annoys the crap out of me is that when you're in a serious relationship the standard question is: "So, when are you two getting married?"
When you eventually do get married, your honeymoon isn't even a distant memory and people start asking: "So, when are you going to have babies?"
Your first born will still be a little bundle and people will ask: "So, when are you going to have the second one?"
Good grief.
Does it ever end?

The other thing I have decided I am going to start doing, or stop doing, is this: "We must get together..."
I have a tendency to bump into people I haven't seen in a while and at the end of the conversation I always say: "Great to see you again, we really must get together!"
I have the best intentions, but let's be honest, we both know it probably wont happen.
I'm going to stop putting myself in those pressurised situations so that when I bump into that person again and we haven't got together, it's ok.
So there, I've decided to do that.

I've been given extra work to do, which is great. Very glad about that. Yes, it sounds a little ridiculous, but I am happy. More work = more pay!
Woohoo.

Oh and I love it when it's someones birthday in the office, especially in winter. It means cake and cupcakes and getting to really enjoy it because I can just hide that "moment on the lips; forever on the hips" under a big warm, large jacket.
Bonus.

Babies and Memes

My weekend was a baby weekend. I had a baby shower on Saturday and a 1 year old birthday party yesterday.

Cute. So cute. The "Awwww" kind of cute.

Uh-oh!

The garlic cloves around my neck didn't help ward off the broodiness.

Everything was so little and lovely and sweet. Little baby shoes are the best.

I felt a little weird yesterday though, I have to admit. I was the only one there without child. Mom's were running around after their toddlers. All I did was sit drinking wine, watching them and yet at the end of the day I was exhausted.

I really take my hat off to mom's... it's a 24/7 job. As cute as they are and as much as I would like to be a mom one day, I can certainly wait a while.

Right...time for my handbag meme:

I couldn’t let KaB down. She tagged me to blog about my handbag and what is inside.

Honestly, this is probably the neatest and emptiest is has ever been, but that is purely because of the smash and grab I was involved in 2 weeks ago.

My handbag is new. I would have loved to shown you the bag that became a part of me, it was my proud possession that I saved up for..my Gucci bag... now those bastard criminals have it...I can probably buy it back on the side of the road though...must keep a look out! :-)
This is a no name, but I love it!!

I have a thing for big handbags... I love them. I am able to carry everything I need... especially as I basically "live" in my car and need to be prepared for everything and anything. (Clutch bags are a must for the evenings)

In my hand bag

1.) Turquoise make up bag. I carry everything in it. My foundation, foundation sponge, blusher, bronzer, eye shadows, eye liner, mascara (necessity), lip liner, moisturiser and hand mirror.
2.)My Oh so Heavenly hand and body lotion. Love it!
3.) An apple... I hardly ever carry these, but after my pregnancy comments I’ve been getting I thought I’d swop the crisps/kit kat for an apple.
4.)My lipglosses, Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Cream and lipsticks are essential.
5.)I always carry a nail polish. I’m very bad about remembering things like functions and parties to attend, so I have this in case the nails are a shocker.
6.)Earrings...I carry dressy earrings for the same reason. Accessories can always smarten an outfit.
7.)Keys...they unlock my life.
8.)Some coins...that was a bonus finding that! This always comes handy when you need to pay for parking.
9.)My Swiss Army Knife. I’m being true to my heritage and it can come in really handy.
10.)My Michael Kors perfume. It’s sexy and gorgeous!
11.)My Wallet... given to me by Blondie 2 after my smash and grab... she says it’s second hand, but we’ve decided we’ll rather call it: Vintage!
12.)My Deodrant that leaves no white marks...what a pleasure.
13.)My Big Sunglasses...they cost me R50 - bonus, I will have to save up again to buy my Gucci’s (they also got stolen.)
14.)My South African Passport. Still trying to sort out ID and drivers license, so this has to do in the meantime.
15.)A peppermint from a restaurant. Don’t know why it’s in there, I hate those mints you get with the bill.
16.)My little memory card and flash disk case and a pen.
17.)My access tags for the studio's are not featured, it’s normally in my bag, but it’s in my car when I’m at home.
18.)I used to have a hand bag sized diary, but that got stolen.
19.)My cellphone is also not in the photo but it’s charging downstairs.
20.)My cigs...very very very naughty.