Adopt a Granny

I want to adopt her as my granny. I want to bottle her and sell her. I'm talking about this lovely, FEISTY 69 year old (love her age) that works at the company I work at in the mornings (thank you flexi-hours.)
She is modern but old school and takes no nonsense let me tell you, but she is just full of fun and doesn't miss a beat. She knows exactly what is going on with who, but has avoided being labelled as a busy body. I love that she isn't afraid to say what she thinks. It's wonderful. She would be a script writers dream for any movie with her one liners and sharp remarks.
She has this cackle that is so wicked that every time I hear it, I can't help but laugh too. Completely contagious. My God she is a feisty little thing. I just adore her.
The stories she has told me have made me, the 26 year old with a few stories of my own, blush. Good grief.

She lives in a retirement village and tells me about her garden that she is totally in love with and how all the old grandpa's always come by to visit and she's not interested. I told her that she just can't help it if she's a little minx.
"Oooh I'm not."
"Yes you are. Clearly you are, if you are getting all those old mens blood pressure up! You little vixen you!"
and out comes her contagious cackle.

She has a better social life than I do and is constantly going out for dinners and dancing and cups of tea at her other friends in the retirement village. She goes for walks and adores shoes. I guess some things never change in that girly department.

She told me a story about her late second husband that I cannot not laugh at when I think about it. She met him in her 50's after her divorce and as they started dating, she said she was nervous to enter the bedroom. *As she is telling me this, she raises her eyebrows up and down* and so she would put it off. Eventually one night, she told him that she didn't know where he'd been so he had better not think about doing anything without protection. She calls condoms French Letters. Bless.
So out came the French Letters and when she saw them, she started laughing.
"Why on earth do you have Rough Riders? Oh no... you can turn those inside out and give yourself a thrill!"

I just wish I could record the way she explains stories. She has a no-nonsense shrill voice with a cheeky manner and yet she has unbelievable charm. When I first met her I was petrified. On my first day that I walked into the office she came out and demanded: "And? Who are you and what are you doing here?"
Talk about intimidating.

I love her to pieces. She makes me look forward to coming into work each morning. What a character!

She adores watching this new season of Strictly Come Dancing on BBC and if you could hear her perve over the male dancers, well, I blush almost every day.
I constantly tease her about it and how she had better keep her blood pressure medication on stand-by and her response is always classic: "Oh Blondie, I'm not dead you know. My eye sight is just fine to look at the "menu", thank you very much! Oh you should should see the way he moves those hips ... Oooooh ... what a thrill!"

I want to gobble her up she is just too cute.

Talking to her makes me really miss my Gran too.

I've always hated the idea of getting old and wrinkly, but she makes me look forward to it. There is something about her and what a little gem she is.

Saturday Night

I originally thought that my life was rather sad earlier on, but now I'm actually just grateful that I am sitting at home on a Saturday night.

I'm working really early tomorrow morning. In fact I just set my alarm clock for 04h30. Lovely.

I could have pulled an all nighter, but I've done that before and it killed me. Never again.

I visited Blondie 2 today complete with flowers and donuts. Actually the donuts weren't a planned thing, but bakery smells are one of my favourites and it lured me inside. It wasn't my fault. I promise. Handy though - nothing like fattening but delicious comfort food after an operation.

It has been Laguna Beach Weekend on MTV and the two of us cuddled up (I was petrified that I was going to move too vigorously and hurt her stitches) all day and watched the show. It actually irritated me so much but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the drama and just had to know if LC was going to get back together with Jason or not. Oh My God!

They are so bitchy, shallow and superficial, but it's so entertaining that you can't help yourself. It also made me feel normal, human and intelligent. OK fine, it also makes me a little jealous of their gorgeous clothes etc...but still...

One of the guys threw one of the girls a surprise birthday party and afterwards he said: "Not telling my best friend about her surprise party was one of the hardest things I have ever had to endure in.my.life! Oh my God!!"

Blondie 2 and I killed ourselves laughing. Dude. People are dying and starving and THAT was the hardest thing you've ever had to endure. Seriously deep.

Man it was fun.

I got home today, poured myself a glass of Amarula Cream on the rocks (I had a craving) and mom was making a traditional South African dish called Bobotie. I cannot remember the last time Bobotie was made... Years have gone by I think. I've never really been a big fan of the dish, but tonight I particularly enjoyed it.

I have been uploading photo's onto Facebook, twittering, blogging, googling...you know? Just an average Saturday night :-)

It's nice actually...being at home on a Saturday. Either I'm in denial or I'm getting older, because I don't think the 16 year old Blondie would have been too impressed with that...it's a decade later and I'm looking forward to getting into my pink pj's, snuggling in bed with a cup of hot vanilla tea and my book and having an early night.

Sweet dreams

x

Rockstar Living

I am making myself feel better (making excuses?) by telling myself that I'm still young, that I had to do it once and that I am a little rockstar.
Ha!
I am seriously struggling this morning.
I have pulled an all nighter. I got a phone call from Shaun Morgan (Seether) and it went like this:
SM: Blondie!
BB: You're back!!
SM: I arrived from LA last Thursday and I want to know where you're taking my manager and I.
BB: Um. Dude, I have to work tomorrow morning.
SM: And?
BB: Um...OK...

So Shaun, his manager and I went out last night. We partied up a storm, drank copious amount of alcohol and when I looked at my watch it was time to go to work. I feel like I'm dying.
STUPID STUPID STUPID.

I have never been so grateful for Red Bull, Coffee and apples. I do however, have the shakes, my eyes are feeling like someone is constantly pouring sand into my eye sockets and I basically want to curl up and die.

The life of a Rockstar. I would never cope. :-)

Hmph.

I just don’t seem to have much in me at the moment. I have been good at blogging every single day. I don’t have the energy to do that anymore. I really am tired and I could do with a weekend of sleep. Unfortunately, I don’t have that luxury.


We’ve entered the silly season. Already. I actually saw my first Christmas advert on TV and heard jingle bells in a radio advert advertising Christmas Specials.
Kill me now. I feel like I just packed away my Christmas Tree. The idea of having to start Christmas shopping all over again freaks me out completely. Anyway, let me not be like the retailers and get ahead of myself.

This is, however, my busiest time in the year and it’s madness. Total chaos. No exaggeration. While everyone knocks off work in December; I work. While you enjoy Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and New Years Eve....I have worked these days.
There are no such things as public holidays in my line of work. I would love to go away in December for 2-3 weeks. The last time I took a holiday in December for that amount of time, I was still in school. In fact since I started my career the longest holiday I’ve had is 10 days.
I guess I’m just feeling drained. I’m the energiser bunny who is using the wrong batteries.
I don’t even have much to say..I can’t think of anything funny that has happened to me or anything amazingly special that has happened in the Blogshells world.
I am literally back to work, sleep, work, sleep, work, sleep with eating in between.
Everything is such an effort at the moment. Everything.

I’m just a barrel of joy, aren’t I?

2nd blog of the day -aren't you lucky? Ha!

Well, it seems I am having MORE blonde moments than ever before. Is that possible? A-ha! I have just uncovered a conspiracy theory. It's the BRUNETTES who are actually the ones palming off their silliness on blondes. I'm onto you!
Seriously, is it possible?
The funny thing is that mentally I am still blonde, right, so there I am doing silly things and shouting out: "Oh well, I'm blonde!"
People who haven't known me before look at me like I'm a little strange...or colour blind.
Odd.

I finished work this morning and went up to visit the gals in marketing. They're brilliant, fun, quirky and a bag of laughs! I have great relationships with them and we all speak to each other fabulously, like: "What's happenin' sexy biatches?"
As you do.

I eventually got out of work and went home. As I got home my phone rang and it stated that it was Private Number (I never answer these, well, hardly ever.)
BB:"Blogshell hello?"
Redd: "Hi Blogshell, it's Redd!"
BB: "Hey you sexy lady!"
Silence.
BB: "What's up biatch?"
Silence.
BB: "Hello?"
Redd: "I think you have the wrong person. This is Redd....your boss."
They share the same bloody name and I had Redd from marketing on the brain.
I wanted to die. I wanted to cancel the call and hope like hell Groundhogs day actually exists.

I'm back at work now and have a birthday party to go to tonight. I can't drink though because I'm back at work tomorrow at 04h30.
I cannot tell you how fun that is in winter!

So much Month at the end of the Money!

When I've said I've been broke before, I've normally had a little money to tide me over for the few days until pay day.


I'm six days away and I am actually wanting to sit down and cry. I put R14 into my car today. I got a whopping 1.4 litres. Holy shit! My petrol light didn't even go off and the needle didn't even move. I pray every time I need to get into my car that if I do break down, I don't break down in some dodgy area. I'm also driving at 40kms. So if you see a blonde girl driving really really s-l-o-w-l-y...it's me! Sorry for the hold up.
F*ck!

So while I was filling up...haha... I asked the petrol attendant (who was extremely amused by my question) how much taxi's cost from Fourways to Sandton.
He told me that I would need to get 2 taxi's just to get to the place and 2 taxi's to get back.
1 taxi is R9. So I'm too poor for a taxi.
How fantastic is that?

AWESOME!!






The reason this has happened is because I am completely sick and tired of chasing people for my money. It's the one thing I hate about freelancing. People want me to do the voice over or the job or whatever it is immediately! They don't pay immediately though.

It's also really "weird" how I can't seem to get hold of them either...their phones aren't answered and they didn't "get" the emails.
It's so bloody frustrating. I cannot believe I have to chase my own money! I need a manager to do this for me. Haha! How very Hollywood!
Kidding.


People need to pay me. It's simple. I don't know where the new concept came out where people think I work for free?
Even Paris Hilton get's paid and let's face it...she sooo doesn't need it.

So. I decided to draw up a list of things I really need to cut down on and I have realised how much I waste and actually I'm a bloody spoilt brat!! It pains me to say this.

• I have decided to not buy my monthly magazines (Glamour, Cosmo and Cleo) *can't believe I've never ordered a subscription. Idiot.* BUT, this will be the first month in my life of buying magazines that I won't buy one. I'm pathetic I know.
• I really need to cut down on my cellphone. Such a problem when I don't have a landline and I LOVE TALKING!!! Seriously, though...I need to.
• I need to cut down on my lunches with the girls and I need to stop always treating people.
• I need to put more money into my 32 day account so that I am forced to not touch it.

There are other things I need to cut out, but I don't feel like boring you.

Irritation

I'm irritated today. I'm just annoyed, agitated and frustrated.

Everything is pissing me off. It started with me boiling the kettle this morning, getting my polka dotted mug ready with my tea bag, pouring the water into the cup, stirring and then opening the fridge to find an empty bottle of skim milk in the fridge.
"Babyyyy!! Why is there an empty bottle of milk in the fridge? Argh!! I need my morning tea and now there is no milk."
"I dunno!"
"Yes, you do!! I certainly did not put the milk back...empty. I am pissed.off.about.this!"
"There is milk though!" he takes it out and shakes it.
I pour the drop into my cup. It barely stains my tea.
"Well?"
"There was milk. See?"

I then got stuck behind every slow, smoking, car/truck imaginable today. I was late for my meetings and voice overs. I get half way to the East, when my phone rings.
"Hi Blondie!"
"Hi P!"
"Listen. We have a bit of a problemo."
"Uh-huh?"
"We have load shedding scheduled for when you are supposed to be in studio!"
"I hope you aren't on your way!"
"Oh no! Of course not!" LYING THROUGH MY TEETH.
"Oh good! Can we please reschedule?"
"Sure!"
Argh.

I met up with Special K then and we had some lunch. I was starving and really looking forward to a salmon salad. Yummy. I dig in and eat as if there may never be another meal, when something stopped me from putting the fork full of greens and tomatoes into my mouth. Staring at me was a wriggly worm. Green and plump and wriggly.
I lost my appetite immediately and actually felt a little ill. Had I eaten any of it's family and friends?
Gross.
They offered to make me a new one, but I was completely put off.

I need to get Lennox (my amazing dog) some food. The standard dog food he is used to has gone up by R100. You are kidding me! R100 MORE??
Good grief.

My happy boy!!

Today has not been my day. Hopefully it will get better. Hopefully.

Stalker and le weekend

I am an idiot. I don't know WHY I get soo nervous. I think it's more the anticipation for the event and wanting it to go smoothly!
I also know that I need to be nervous. It sounds crazy, I know, but if I'm too relaxed before a show I would make mistakes.
I have a love/hate relationship with nerves. I love them because I need them and yet I hate the feeling!
Once I am on stage, the nerves/anticipation disappear and I'm ready to rock! ha ha!

It went well *if I say so myself* :-) I was on for 20 minutes and then it was ready to party the night away!
My girls were there and my man came later and it was awesome!

I got home at 02h30. I don't have a hangover (surprisingly) but I am pretty pissed off. This woman I know in the industry, or should I say, I've met a few times, gave my phone number to a bunch of businessmen in their late 30's; early 40's that happened to be there. She introduced me to them, they bought me a shooter and said they enjoyed the show. That was it. I would have had no problem if A, had she just asked me if it was ok and B, if they wanted my number because they were impressed with my MC-ing and wanted to book me.
I have received 8 phone calls so far today and 11 emails from this one guy saying:

Hey Blondie, how’s your Thursday treating you after last night’s wine and shooters? I saw you and your gorgeous friends dancing.

You’ll be glad to know that I think you are sexy and amazing. You speak beautifully and I would love to take you for dinner.

Let me tell you more about myself. I am a financial adviser for a large company and I have a lot of money so you will be comfortable and have anything your heart desires.

Now how is it possible that you and I are good mates of "Friend" and I’ve never met you before?

Regards

Me


Can you believe it?? Flattering? Sure. Annoying? Definitely. Like I would be completely interested in whether you're "loaded" or not! Really, it's simple: Fuck Off!

So good times seem to be ahead... a stalker! Everyone should have one. Go on try it.
Argh!

Have a wicked weekend. I'm working tomorrow and going to a rock concert in Benoni...something like that...my man has to be there and Sunday... I plan to do as little as possible!!

xx