I'm PHAT!

I had one of the best weekends. I'd like to say that I partied it up VIP style until I pissed champagne, but instead I didn't move. Ok wait, I did but only for three reasons.
1. To go to the loo.

2. To go to the fridge.

3. To collect deliveries of health food.

I was exhausted on Friday - well, you read below so I got home and chilled. I watched TV and finally dragged myself to bed. On Saturday morning, I showered and instead of getting dressed, I got back into my pajamas. I can't remember the last time I did that!
I didn't get out of my pajama's until Sunday evening, when I showered and then put a new pair on. Lovely. I literally sat on the couch, alternating between writing on my laptop and watching the idiot box I lovingly call the TV.
Honestly, it was just the best. No make-up, no hair products and pure laziness. God it felt good.

I received an email from a pseudonym [of course] and it hit a nerve. It really, really did. I probably shouldn't be sharing this (considering that some of you know who I am) but I have had it and my blog is my place to vent. I just need to get this out!

The email basically says (in a nutshell - because it's a few paragraphs) that they can't understand how I'm in the industry I'm in when I am not "fat" but chubby. I'm not a good role model to women who want to get into this industry and blah blah blah blah.
{It did go on to say that they love my work and that they think I'm a natural talent etc...
Um...Thank you for the backhanded compliment then .}

I am fucking hurt. I should just shrug it off, have a good laugh (maybe a little cry) and then go about my merry way.

Let me set the record straight.

I have been diagnosed with sugar intolerance. I am border line diabetic and am doing my best to not become diabetic. Basically my body doesn't know what to do with sugar and instead of turning it into energy, it turns it into fat. I am left feeling lethargic and I'm left gaining weight.
I am not obese. I am just not your skinny size 0 and quite frankly I would never want to be.

Yes. I am in an industry that is image conscience. Um...I've been in it for a few years now so that would make me well aware. I am in this industry because I love entertaining. I cannot begin to explain how much I love what I do and I can't imagine doing anything outside of the industry. I get so excited to go in, do a good job and see how I can improve myself every.single.day!
The fact that it puts me in the public is rather overwhelming for me and I don't really understand it. My man once summed it up beautifully: "This is not Hollywood. We don't have celebrities, but we do have public profiles whether you/we like it or not."

A role model? No pressure. Don't you think a role model would be someone healthy, who has goals and is hard working and ambitious? I don't quite understand...are you saying that I'm not a role model because I'm not stick thin? Well in that case. Thank God!
If you're going to use loaded words like "Role Model", well then, I'd rather be a role model for young women who want to make something of themselves regardless of how they look. I'd like young women to look at me and think: I, too can do it! I too, can dream and have those dreams come true and I don't have to look a certain way!

It is devastating to me because I have put on several kgs and I can't quite seem to fit into clothes I used to. I'm a woman and I am personally very sensitive to this. Ask one woman if weight has ever been a hang up. 99% of women have hang ups about their weight, even Heidi Klum.
Has it hurt my self esteem? Yes. Not drastically but I. am. human. Trust me, I'd love to be the size I was and I'm working at it. Weight gain is quick...weight loss takes effort and it takes time if you want it to be healthy and stay off.
It's not great hanging around skinny girls at these functions feeling like a frump, but I'll never let my weight define who I am as a person.

I am irritated that I have never had to watch what I eat...perhaps to my detriment later on in life considering I have been diagnosed with this condition; and now I am having to. I am not used to having to make a concerted effort watching what I put in my mouth and it has been a bit of a shock. I struggle with it and it is a constant battle considering that I could be the President of the Sweet Tooth Society. No more sweets, chocolate, sugar, bread and so on...

Am I making an effort though? Hell yes! I want to be healthy and I want to do my best to prevent diabetes.
I am working my ass off in gym (boxing) and I am starting pilates/yoga.

I don't need to explain myself (after all of this) but I have had it. I'm tired of being called a Blob by tabloids. Fuck off. I am a person who has feelings.
Quite frankly this email has been the most judgemental, uneducated email I have probably ever received. It hurt me to the core.
I didn't respond. In these cases: "The best response is no response" - more advice from my man

This is a stupid post but it has made me feel better. I'll probably delete it tomorrow afternoon.

Oh and I've lost 4kgs so far, so bite me!

Birthdays. X3

Gosh I’ve been lazy. In every respect. I’ve been lazy on my blog, at work( well, ok, not with that) and even with going out. I have been the laziest this weekend. I don’t think I’ve got out of my pajama’s unless I’ve really really had to. DVD’s, take-out and not an ounce of alcohol. It’s been nice. Nice and relaxed.
I think my body has had enough. I think it’s really just gone on strike and not in the sick way, but in the “if you want to do anthing; you’re really going to have to put some effort in to move me” kind of way.
It’s a good thing because the week I have ahead is insanely busy. It starts Monday morning and only really slows down on Thursday.

I’ve decided I need new friends. I’ve told them as much, too :-)

Good grief. 3 of my closest friends are born within a few days of each other. I have a triple whammy of birthday’s, birthday cake, birthday parties and birthday presents. Seriously. Blondie 2’s birthday is on Tuesday, Special K’s birthday is on Sunday and Zob’s birthday is on the Monday.
I’ve told them that I’m “losing their numbers” until the 07 October. They think I’m kidding.
All 3 girls are so similiar and so different at the same time. To try and find 3 different birthday gifts that are thoughtful, special and unique to their personalities is a challenge and with the week I have, I’m not sure when I’m going to get this right.

I absolutely adore giving gifts. There is nothing better that putting in a lot of effort in order to find something that they will love and then watching their faces as they open up the carefully wrapped gift. It is my best!
I hardly ever give gift vouchers. I need to find something that I know they’ll adore, that will make their faces light up and will make them feel like a princess on their special day.
I love gift wrapping too. Man, you should see me at Christmas. I am insane.
There is nothing worse than putting effort in and seeing someone half heartedly look at the gift and mumble a “Thanks.”
I know a few people like that. They get gift vouchers.

The man always teases me. The only reason you like buying gifts is so that you can buy something for yourself.
What? I. do. not.
Oh yes you do. What about JB? You bought her one of those fancy handbags, whatchacallit, and you bought one for yourself too.
It’s called Nine West and that was a coincidence.
You bought Special K something last year, I can’t remember, and you bought the same thing for yourself in another colour and you always buy your sister what you would ultimately like.
Gasp! I. Don’t!
You do. Face it.

Does this make me selfish? I guess I do buy some things. SOME things that I would like, but only because I know that we’re very similiar and that she would love it too. The logic is this. If I love it; she’ll love it.
We’re friends and therefore we have a lot in common.
Good grief. Maybe I am a selfish buyer...but I DO put a lot of effort into gifts to the unique person and shopping for gifts allows me to shop with a purpose. If I had to buy these sorts of things for myself, just because, I’d feel too guilty.
Shopping for someone else allows me to look at things I ordinarily wouldn’t look at and so I get a few things for myself too. I’m there. Might as well!

Are you buying this?*

Have I convince you or myself?

*Excuse the pun. Oh I amuse myself.

PS> Note to self: Self, get your ass into the boxing gym. You’ve been slack! Enough.

Perfect weekend

I had the best weekend. It was awesome. It was awesome because it wasn't typical and it was so enjoyable that I was rather content in starting the week.
Something that rarely happens.

Being spontaneous is sometimes the best thing ever. Blondie 2 and I decided she would come to my place for the first time, we'd get some wine, cheese and biscuits and see where our Friday takes us.
Brie cheese, olives, pickles, crackers and 2 bottles of wine later, Blondie 2 and I stayed on my couch chatting about everything and anything! It was AWESOME... we spoke about everything from fashion to work to sex and even our late grannies.
It was such a perfect Friday...no screaming over the music, no scrambling/stumbling to the bar and pushing your way through the crowd, no worries about the bitches looking you up and down and no worries of cigarette butts flying into my hair or landing on my feet.
I know this may sound as if I'm getting old and I've come to the realisation that it's actually ok!

Saturday morning I woke up with no hangover, despite the 2 bottles (bottle each) and I think that is largely due to not having a smokers hangover!
I had to be at a work function from 10 -2 and then Blondie 2 and I went to the Corner Pub and drank Savanna Lites, ate pizza, spoke shitloads of shit and laughed even more.
At 6, I had to get home, change into something a little classier, straighten the curls and head off for a dinner with Special K and BB!
We ate such a delicious meal with virgin strawberry dacquiri's (virgin because we were supporting the pregnant BB) and then guilty-as-charged, ordered the chocolate parcels. I promise you now, if men had to go extinct and chocolate parcels were available I'd be a very happy woman.
I hate using the tasteless (excuse the pun) cliche of calling food Orgasmic, but seriously. ORGASMIC!
They're little phyllo pastries parcels and as you cut into them melted chocolate oozes out! MOUTHFULS OF HEAVEN!
I literally put the spoon of heaven into my mouth, sit back and "Oooooh and Mmmmm!"
Delicious!

Those pastries are FULLED with melted chocolate! Y-U-M-M-Y!!

Sunday was the day of 'I am not getting out of my pajamas for anything or anyone.' It was awesome, lazy, sleepy and comfy!
Just the way I like it!

I know I'm getting older when

my weekends are filled up with weddings, baby showers, bachelorettes, baby's birthday parties and the shopping for them.
There's no more: "What are we doing this weekend?" "Which nite club should we grace with our presence?" "What are we going to wear tonight? Oh, why don't we go shopping for new outfits!"
The hangovers are still there, but they're mild. It's not like you can get wrecked, dance on the tables and throw up in your mates pot plant... at her baby shower. It's just not done. Apparently.

I miss the days where I could lie in for hours, run around the house in my pj's or underwear the whole day, moan and groan about how I want to die from the mother of all hangovers, stuff my face with junk food, watch DSTV or better yet watch bucket loads of DVD's and not move off the couch unless I really really had to... bathroom breaks were debatable. I could tie my hair up, put on my weekend clothes (as comfy as possible, if they match, bonus) and head out to my folks or to friends for breakfast/lunch. I miss sitting on my balcony with my big sunglasses, opening up a bottle of wine, crackers and brie cheese at 10am.
Ah, the good times.

Ok, honestly, I still get to do a lot of those things, but not as often as I'd like to. I'm happy to be going to baby showers and weddings, don't get me wrong, but it's just weird to think that life has now become about those things and weirder, yet...they're happening to my closest mates! WEIRD!!