Knysna

Soundtrack: Offsprings' Greatest Hits, Snow Patrol, The Killers and R.E.M
Indulged in: prawns, oysters, wine, Pezula spa.

Knysna was absolutely exquisite. Even the weather played ball. I did feel like a true Joburger though, because sure, it wasn't summer sunshine, but the sun still shone and that was good enough for me and my lily white ass to hit the beach. There were the locals who were in jeans and light cardigans walking along the beach with their dogs, I decided to ignore them as I smoothed on sunscreen, popped the iPod on and lay on my colourful towel ignoring the chill in the wind.

We stayed at Pezula in a house (well, the word "house" isn't really fair...more like a modern mansion) on the golf course over looking the ocean. It was spectacular. I particularly enjoyed the early mornings - heaven knows why I can't sleep in on holidays. I would sneak out onto the balcony, hoping not to wake anyone, and enjoy a cup of coffee, the quiet and the sunrise. Peaceful.

The one and only night we decided to go out in Knysna, turned out to be ridiculously fun. We had all been joking that the six of us were going to be the only ones at the club. Knysna had been relatively dead. We arrived at Zanzibar Club and it was decorated with pink draping, pink feathers, pink everything. My first thought was: Damn. Where did all these guys come from? and then my second thought was: Hang on. Why are there soooo many guys?
The party that was night was called The Pink Mardi Gras. It was Gay Night in Knysna.
What a jol!
Men were either wearing feathers, checked shirts, shorts with calf-length socks, or dresses, complete with wigs, fishnets and red lipstick.
I was so looking forward to hearing YMCA; It's Raining Men and We Are Family, but they didn't play those songs. Disappointing.
:-)
Why is it that boerewors rolls always taste like heaven at 2am? I drenched mine in tomato sauce and mustard and gobbled it down. Good times.

European Boy played a round of golf at Pezula and I drove the golf cart around. No one was injured, surprisingly enough, not even the baboons who were de-fleaing each other on the course. I have no idea how golf works, or what the point is really... You hit the ball away and then you have to find it again (a few times) until you putt it into a hole. 18 times. I wouldn't have a clue whether the guys played like shit or like Tiger Woods so I just gushed at how great they were playing. It didn't go down well when I called out, very enthusiastically: "Good shot!" Apparently, it's not a good thing when it lands in a bunker, the water or the fynbos.

I was treated to the Pezula Spa and I felt ridiculously indulgent. EB booked us into a shoulder, back and neck massage and honestly, it was the best massage I have ever experienced. *sigh*
We made use of the water massage bed too, the steam room, the heated pool and the jacuzzi that happened to be outside. That was my favourite. It was drizzling outside and we kept warm, if you know what I mean. ;)
I felt like a princess - totally and utterly spoilt!

I loved every minute of it and yes it was too short. Aren't holidays always?

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to cope with a normal 5 day week.

Stained teeth and ticklish throats.

So scratch the weekend list. Most things changed.

I did see the movie on Friday night He’s Just NOT That Into You and it was depressingly brilliant. Haha. I had a debate with a friend because yes, the movie did make women look pathetic and men look like assholes, but on a whole, there was a lot of truth to it and that was depressing.
As a woman, being single now, I am learning new things and I’m learning that if he doesn’t call you or want to see you often, he really isn’t into you, or he would find any excuse to call or see you.
It was just very interesting and I think that it is a movie that guys and girls can enjoy. It's not necessarily only a chick flick. I couldn't get over how many couples were watching the movie and how many guys were there in a group. Very interesting.
It was a good movie and I would definitely have that in my DVD collection.

I did go to Pilates. Now, I’ve only gone to Pilates a few times, but the woman kept telling us that if we had never done Pilates before, we should go to the orientation. Sugar and I finally got our act together and did the orientation. Holy Crap. I clearly have been doing everything wrong in the classes, because after being shown how to breathe correctly and hold and release etc, I felt everything. Everything. My muscles actually shook throughout the session and that burning pain (the good kind) was there immediately afterwards.

I did not go to the launch on Saturday night and instead, went over to Special K for wine.
So, I have a little secret... I normally don’t drink red wine because for some reason it gives me heart burn and so I’ve always just stayed away from it. However, last Monday night I drank red wine. 2 bottles actually (not on my own, mind you) and I didn’t have one stitch of heart burn. In fact I really loved it. I made a note of the bottles and their makes that James Bond had pulled out for us and have decided to rethink my wine drinking. I could actually get quite used to it. I decided to try red wine again and Special K and I finished off a bottle rather quickly. It was delicious and I like red wine far more than white wine now.
The only downer of red wine? The fact that it stains your teeth. There I am sitting with my mate, feeling all very sophisticated drinking this lush glass, when I caught a glimpse of my teeth... Now this happened last Monday night too. Mortifying. Not exactly Colgate Smile material, you know?
Good God. Did I eat liquorice? Nope.
Must remember to bring gum next time I drink red wine in male company.

I also did not go for coffee with Europe Boy after he cancelled on me. I would have had to cancel anyway, I woke up yesterday with incredibly sore muscles, which I presumed was from the Pilates. Yes, to a large extent it was, but I am also getting sick. F*@!
I hate being sick, especially when my lifestyle has changed into a rather healthy one. I have a tickle in my throat, my head feels like it may explode from the pressure and headache and I am miserable. I didn’t get out of my pyjamas yesterday and just lay around watching TV and making countless cups of fresh ginger, lemon and honey tea.
I’ve woken up this morning, with no pressure headache, but just a scratchy throat with a pathetic little cough. Argh.
It’s the change in weather. I always get something like this the day before the weather changes. I swear, I could be a weather beacon. Trust me, I wouldn't have a problem with Derek Van Dam (e-TV's weather guy) phoning me up for tips ;-)
Today, the wind is howling and nippy even though the sun is shining.
I am in bed under my duvet with my muesli and laptop at the moment.

PS> I’ve never been so excited for Wednesday. Pay Day. No more end-of-the-month salticrax for me anymore.

Schizophrenic Blondie... The comedian.

The weather is weird. It's been sunny with freezing wind. Did Mother Nature not get the memo? It's SPRING!
I must admit though, I haven't seen a crisper morning. It's beautiful. I'm sitting on my balcony looking out into the distance. The buildings and trees actually have outlines. There's no blurry haze or smog. It's lovely.

I had a seriously chilled weekend. It was awesome. Lots of braai meat and lots of wine. Sunday was couch potato day. I didn't get out of my pajama's until this morning. In fact, this weekend was so chilled, I was actually boring.
Boring was welcomed into my life with open arms. I embraced it lovingly, but I don't want it hanging around me too much.

Right so, I am interviewing a few comedians this week. Honestly, I'm dreading it. I'm dreading it because I don't know what comes over me. I'll be introduced to the comedian and I automatically become hilarious. I think so anyway. I have no idea why I do this. I am NOT a comedian and yet I suddenly start practising "material" on them. Oh my God, it's is mortifying.
I actually have screaming matches in my head.
Blondie: Shut the fuck up. You. are. not. funny. What is wrong with you?
Blogshell: Hahahahahhaha - oooh wait, let me say this. That will make them drop to the floor in hysteria.
Blondie: Oh my God! You are embarrassing yourself. Seriously. Shut up. Stop moving your tongue. Get on with it.
Blogshell to comedian: So, I have a joke for you..
Blondie interrupts: Seriously? You're not doing this! I can't take another minute of this. Pleeeease!! Stop!
Blogshell, ignoring inner voice: So, 2 snowman are walking in a field. The one snowman says to the other: Dude, you're right! I can also smell carrots! Wahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhaha!!!!
Blondie: I officially divorce myself from you.

The worst part? I kill myself laughing at my own jokes. They're horrible jokes and ironically I only ever remember the horribly BAD ones. I can't remember "cool, awesome, wow -you have-the-best-sense-of-humour-and-you're-such-a-funny-joke-teller" jokes. Noooo. I remember the horrible, cringe worthy ones.
When I say I kill myself laughing...I literally wipe away the tears.
I don't know why I do this when I can visibly see the comedians looking at me and their agents/posse nervously with the look: Did she just escape from a mental asylum?
I cringe at myself, but I am unstoppable!