Drowning in my bath...

I'm renting this gorgeous little apartment. It is truly the cosiest and most comfortable place. It has a personality as far as walls and windows go... and I almost wish it was actually mine. I rent from the most divine landlords - they live in London, trust me implicitly- which helps, and are so easy going.

There are only a few problems with it...

The place is absolutely tiny. In reality, I don't need any more space for right now...although I could always do with more closet space...but then again, which girl ever has enough?

I am yet to have a housewarming because it would mean that I would be having a housewarming ever single weekend for the rest of my lease. I can fit maybe 3 people in at a time. Awkward.

It only has one sink, which can be a pain in the ass when it comes to washing and rinsing dishes. One day when I'm big, I would like to not slosh soapy water all over the floor...in fact, one day when I'm big, I will have space for a dishwasher.

My main problem is it only has a bath. Showering and bathing are personal preferences for people. Some people love to only bath...*teach me* ... I do not fall into that category. I am a shower person. Don't get me wrong...I love baths...on occasions, like when I've had a really tough work out and I need to soak my achy muscles or I get a rare one in a million chance to take some "me-time" and pamper myself in a vanilla bubble bath with candles, Michael Buble and a bottle of wine. Bathing everyday is not ideal for me.

It especially makes for interesting conversation when I say things like: "Oh my God. I can't remember the last time I took a shower!!"

People tend to turn their noses up to comments like that. I seriously miss showering. I can't handle the idea of soaking in "dirt" and then when I get out of the bath water it just clings to my skin again...ewwww. I need to rinse myself off and step out clean and fresh.

I also think of the environment, believe it or not, and it is better to shower. I feel bad every time I run a bath.

I emailed my landlords and asked them if I could restructure their bathroom by putting up a shower rail and curtain (not the sexiest thing, I know) and attachment etc etc to turn the bath into a mini shower. They happily agreed and even (bless them) told me they would pay for it. I'm so desperate at this stage I was prepared to pay for everything, even plumbing if need be. Still, it would've been a little rude to do my merry little adjustments when the place isn't mine.

European Boy has recently moved into a 5 x the size of my little matchbox (said with love) apartment and he is fixing certain things up...one being his bathroom with mustard coloured walls. Whoever the previous owners were should be shot for shocking taste.

I've learnt quite a bit about housey-things ... like tiles, and underfloor heating and damp proofing and so forth. Including a better more aesthetically pleasing solution of changing a bath into a shower. It's a mini glass door that gets attached to the bath. Much better. Much better than having a shower curtain stick to you and the feeling that Pyscho could be standing there with a Butchers knife.

I got this company to come give me a quote. Firstly they ended up getting lost because my complex (4-5 years old) is still not in the map books or GPS systems. Story of my life when I get cold Nandos and Mr. Delivery.

They took the measurements and were gone. I waited 3 hours for them to be there for no more than 5 minutes. The kettle was still boiling for tea by the time they were finished up.

I have the quote, not too bad actually... and I'm sending it off to London. I think it's a little more than a shower curtain and rail, but I'm thinking of them for future reference when it comes to resale value.... Aren't I just such a good little tenant?

Noddy Badge.

Although...I am just assuming that they're going to see my logic and go this route. I'm hoping so. If I have to dunk my shampoo lathered head under water one more time, I may try to drown myself.

Charity and Showers

So I received this email from my gorgeous sister. I know it's not original, but I'm feeling as original as....um... see? Can't even think of that! So...here it is! It made me wet my pants. Not literally, but nearly. Just saying.

Part 1: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according tolights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.. If you see husband alongthe way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique inthe mirror, make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sageshampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them ina pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her while making the woo-hoo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub thewhole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass the wife, pulloff towel, shake willy at her and make the woo-hoo sound again.
Throw wet towel on her pillow.

Like I said...nearly wee'd.

I am quite excited about tomorrow night. I do a lot of charity work and tomorrow night I am a part of Wow and Wags the proceeds will go to: FreeMe
I am being dressed by Story Design -an incredible designer and my Garden Terrorist and this post is being dressed by Doggie Hillfigher.
Exciting times!

Have a wicked weekend biatches!