Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Garden Terrorist

I was furious and so frustrated that I resorted to tears last night. I got home from Comedy Girl's place last night. We had finished off a bottle of wine, had great girly chats and finally called it a night. I was exhuasted and just wanted to flop into bed.

As I got home I noticed that the lovely tree's I had bought and placed in the garden to be planted were not sticking above the wall. As I got closer I found my dog aka Garden Terrorist, full of compost. He had trampled and destroyed everything. Everything. One tree survived.

The only good that came out of this, was that he distributed 3 bags of compost for me. Fuck, I was upset. I burst into tears. There was no sign of the Jasmine (my favourite thing that would have been in my garden!) and there were only a few things that were salvageable. The rest? Destroyed. The Garden Terrorist is lucky to be alive.

I am going for a spray tan tonight and yes, I've had them before and they work brilliantly on my skin. I can't lose 10kgs by Saturday night's TV show, so I'm going to mask it with a tan . I had to exfoliate my body and not use cream, deodorants or anything of the sorts. I ran out of my exfoliater so I jumped out the bath left a wet trail all the way to my kitchen, grabbed my sugar bowl and nearly killed myself on the way back. Slippery feet and tiles apparently don't mix. Who would've thought.

13 comments:

The Divine Miss M said...

Oh man that sucks! Wahahahah BAD DOG!!!

And he probably thinks he did good.

Shame!!!!!!!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

I really was ready to kill him, Miss M. Literally. Except he's 43kgs and he would've won.
I should have called him "Destruction and Debt Boy". The amount of money I've lost from him chewing things is nauseating. He leaves his chew toys and goes for cellphones, shoes, couches and now plants. If he wasn't so adorable, I'd really kill him.

po said...

Holy cow that is some bad damage. I like the idea of using sugar as an exfoliator, unless you allergic to bees that is!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Po, tell me about. I just found the receipt in my bag now: I had bought a total of 34 plants (some not featured in picture) and only planted 7 of them.
Aaaaaarrrggghhhhh!!!!!

Thanks, I'm quite surprised the sugar worked so well :-)

Moe Wanchuk said...

ah fk it.....cement the whole yard and put in some AstroTurf and a plastic tree...

The Blonde Blogshell said...

It would have been cheaper, Moe! Doh!

Kitty Cat said...

We have three Garden Terrorists! I know what that's like. And yip, the spray tans do work well if the person does it right. Good luck for saturday!!!

expensivemistakescheapthrills said...

hahahaha.

i'm sorry to laugh, but you nearly killing your dog and yourself i hilarious.

i'm a big one for laughing at other peoples' misfortunes....

Tamara said...

Try mising surag with a yummy smelling body wash - it's fab ;-)

Tamara said...

Ahem... sorry, that should have been mixing sugar. Too much coffee makes me type even worse than usual.

sweets said...

jasmine is delightful, you will have to replace it!... sorry for you about the damage :(

Being Brazen said...

Shame man, that sucks.

Good luck for Saturday. :)

I love brown sugar exfoliator. I actually have a wonderful vanilla and brown sugar exfoliator - smells very yummy

phillygirl said...

Eep, I would've freaked ... although my garden does not look too differently lately with 2 i-just-learned-how-to-dig bunnies on the loose :)

Hope the plants are still plantable!