Friday, June 27, 2008

Exercise (Yuck), shopping (Yay) and the weekend (Whoop-whoop)

Things have been a little crazy at work at the moment. I'm sorry I've been a little slack
with my blog.

I can't help myself. I can't stop it. I went into a shopping frenzy again! I bought a pair of snglasses, a black Nine West handbag, cute tops and I bought my man a pair of really funky rock-star jeans! They were all on SALE!!!
It was necessary, you see?
I hang my head in shopping shame.

Tonight I am completely chilling. I don't want to do anything but watch TV, eat and sleep. In no particular order.

Tomorrow we're going to Special K's place for sundowners. I've had enough of functions. I'm tired of dressing up all the time, making small talk and stuffing myself with hors de ouvres. How am I ever going to lose this horrible weight if I carry on like this?

I hate exercise. I hate gyms. Gyms freak me out. I hate the smell, the sound of the circuit, the sounds of clanking metal from the weights and the general atmosphere.
I really want to go back to my boxing, but I'm putting it off. The only reason I'm putting it off is because I know that once I start, I know I'll have to carry on.
I am putting it off completely. I go into a panic when I think about it! Seriously. My chest starts to close, I can't breathe properly and my heart starts beating...hmmm...maybe I should just panic instead of doing cardio ;-) No. Seriously. I panic at the thought of exercise.

I feel silly blogging about this because I know most gals love it and enjoy it and do it for fun! I hate you girls. Haha.
Ok, I do a little. I want to have the same mindset. I want to be motivated and I should be because I am not loving my body at the moment. I have got the eating right side down, but I can't seem to incorporate exercise now.

You would think that if I'm unhappy with the extra weight, I would WANT TO get into an exercise class.
Noooo...not blondie. I almost rebel against it and order a fat slice of cheesecake instead.

How do you girls do it? "They" say you should do something you enjoy...I thoroughly enjoy boxing but I'm still dragging myself into the ring.
I am so unfit that it scares me and I just cannot bring myself to do it.

Something has to change and quickly.
How do you do it?

See?? This makes me feel even better....look at this woman...I'm 25 and I can't get my ass into gear? Argh!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I am doomed...

I am. I have bitched and moaned and femininely sweated the fact that I have been broke. I even made a list of things I need to cut down on so that I do not find myself in the same situation at the end of July.
Well, I suck. What was the first thing I did, besides putting petrol in? I bought a pair of shoes.
To my defense, they were the most beautiful peep toe wedges ever. I have also broken my favourite pair of black shoes, so technically they were a necessity.
I also bought a pair of footless black tights and footless leapord tights. I'm trying something new. Hopefully it won't be a page for the Worst Dressed List.

I am unstoppable. Do you think there is such a thing as banning yourself from shopping centres? Like, if the shopping centre managers saw me, they'd whisper into their walkie-talkies asking for security to escort the crazed blonde out.
My photo should be taken from all angles and placed in all stores so that if I try and buy something, they refuse me.
BUT, I'm allowed a pass for when I really do need things like groceries and when my clothes are super old and tattered.

I'm drinking red bull at the moment, because I can't find matchsticks to pry my eyes open.
Again, I suck. Instead of catching up on sleep, because I've been working weird hours, I shop.

BUT, I'm going to post a photo tomorrow of the shoes...maybe then, you'll understand! Ha ha!

PS> I also bought the GLAMOUR Magazine! Eeeek...I'M SORRY!!!! I can't help myself!!

If you're happy and you know it...

I am wiping tears of joy from my eyes. I am jumping up and down like a real girl and I'm even throwing in some excited yelps for good measure!
I am feeling my shoulders become lighter, oh and there I go again, I'm jumping up and down...again! Now, I'm clapping my hands together...

I have never heard such a lovely sound or seen such a lovely screen. My cellphone has beeped the most beautiful beep of all and my cellphone screen has just showed me digits. The most beautiful and lovely digits that mean: YOU'VE BEEN PAID! THAT'S RIGHT BLONDIE! YOU ARE OFFICIALLY NOT BROKE.

Can I get a whoop-whoop??

I am just so bloody relieved. I have never been this broke in my life. June has just been the longest month EVER!!

Ka-ching, baby, ka-ching!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008


An illustration by Diana Evans

Are you superstitious? I guess I am. My gran used to tell us not to walk under ladders, to try and avoid cracks and if you see a black cat crossing your path, proceed with caution.
If you spill salt, pinch it with your right hand and throw it over your left shoulder.
They have become little things that are quirky and cute. Don't get me wrong, I'm not extreme, they're just fun!
It got me thinking though. There are some people who take superstitions very seriously, but I don't wanna dwell on that. Let's talk fun.
Here are some of the fun ones:
  • Rats leaving a ship means the sink will ship.
  • Dogs eating grass, brings rain.
  • A frog brings good luck to the house it enters.
  • A spider spinning in the morning is good luck.
  • Carry an acorn to bring luck & ensure a long life.
  • It is bad luck to change a horses name.
  • It is bad luck to see an owl in sunlight.
  • If you have an itchy nose, shake hands with someone. It will stop a quarrel.
  • Ringing bells means a new angel received wings.
  • When a boy is born under the waning moon, the next birth will be a girl, and vice versa.
  • Never give a knife as a housewarming present, or your new neighbor will become an enemy.
  • Cut your hair on Good Friday to prevent headaches in the year to come.
  • To drop a comb while you are combing your hair is a sign of a coming disappointment.
  • When someone dies and they're buried, if the person was evil, weeds will grow.
  • If your bra strap keeps falling down it means a loved one is thinking of you.
  • It's good luck hearing crickets singing.
  • It's good luck cutting your hair during a storm.

I could go on and on, but they're cute and sweet.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Was I nearly kidnapped? And...if I'm not technically a kid, can I still call it that?

The weekend has been fairly boring, interesting, scary and good. Friday night I promised myself that I'd be a good girl, that I'd keep my name and that I would discover what not having a hangover on Saturday morning, felt like.
I stayed in, watched TV, ate the salti-crax (month end) and other tidbits I could find in my bare cupboard and chilled. God it was lovely.
Saturday morning was delightful. It was wonderful to wake up at an early hour and I met my twin for breakfast. Twin, because we're born on the same day and year but we're basically sisters from another mother* We think this fact is fabulous.
It was so awesome to catch up with her. We ate breakfats (literally... fried egg, fatty bacon, hashbrowns and to make me feel better, I had mushrooms and ate the grilled tomato)
I've noticed that the greasy breakfast does generally taste delicious and that you can enjoy it even when you're not dying from the night before.
Who knew?

I then decided to make my parents day and visit them. My parents are so wonderful and so weird at the same time. My mother is incredibly arty ( she is a real life artist) and my dad is an accountant (go figure - excuse the pun-haha)** My parents are re-doing their atrium and entrance. I have never seen my parents so excited to go to the nursery. They were giddy with excitement and showed off some arty pots my mom had found. My parents are officially getting old. It's the first sign. I told them so. Funny, they weren't impressed with me!

I decided to stay in**** on Saturday night (I know, shocker!) and was on my way home, when I scrounged up some change from my car to get a packet of smokes. I parked and started walking. This BMW X5 had driven up, but not parked. As I started walking, the car was slowly rolling forward and that's when I heard: "Excuse me? Can I talk to you?"
It was a man from the 4x4. I hesitated but said: "No,'s OK!"
Not quite sure what response that was, but I tell you, I got the weirdest and creepiest feeling in the pit of stomach. He rolled forward and by this stage he had leaned across, opened his passenger door and then opened his door. I quickened my pace, wondering why I had parked so far away (it wasn't far, but it felt like 10kms away at this stage.) "No thank you. It's fine! I don't want to talk!"
I said, my voice now screeching a little hysterically.
He called me over again, asking me to come round to the passenger door.
Oh sure. That sounds like a fine idea.
I ran. Bolted. I am thinking that maybe I could be a part of the Olympics athletics team.
I was so petrified and yet I felt conflicted. Maybe I was overreacting, but maybe I wasn't.
I don't think I was. What the hell was his passenger door open for and why was he so creepy?
When I had to walk back from the store, my heart was in my throat. I phoned my mom. My reasoning was:
a) they need know where I am.
b) they know that I'm worried and can call for help if anything happens to me if I'm snatched.
c) what car to look for
d) to make me feel better.

My mom had a close heart attack. She told me to stay in the Pick n Pay where there were people and that my dad would come and follow me home.
So I walked around the aisles, feeling twitchy and nervous and paranoid. I looked like a shoplifter and suddenly I was being stalked. By the store manager. He suddenly needed to rearrange the items in the aisle I happened to be in.
My dad (my hero) finally arrived and he followed me home, much to my relief and the relief of the manager.
I felt rather silly afterwards, but God give me female intuition and it would be wrong not to use it.


Today was spent chilling, watching TV in the comfort of my boyfriends arms, a warm blanket and hot chocolate. What a day!

* funny, doesn't rhyme as well as "brother from another mother!"
**I'm amusing myself at 02h36***, OK?
***I'm working.
**** Let me come clean...I'm too broke to do anything and Twin payed for breakfast on the pretense I'll get the next one (phew!)

Friday, June 20, 2008

Young boys and being broke!!

So this money thing...sorry lack of money thing is forcing me to be creative. I have to find things to do, to amuse myself without actually spending a cent. It is a complete challenge.
For example: Going through ash trays to find half smoken cigarettes is necessary. Not fun, but necessary.
OK...I'm kidding, but I have done that before, once. Twice. Ok... three times.
I'm getting to that point though. It has forced me smoke less.

I've dusted off my board games, I'm being forced to drink the good wine I've kept for those "special" occasions and I'm getting to read all my books I've got piling up next to my bed. I also get to write my own book now and yesterday I actually got 30 pages done. I impressed myself.

Oh and how could I forget. Special K would not accept the fact that I couldn't see her, so the night was on her (I hate that, but I appreciate it - what can I say?)
I suppose we should be flattered, but actually... no.
We're sitting there, enjoying our wine by the fire when this young dude comes swaggering up to our table. He had the babiest of faces and yet he was in his business suit.
"So ladies... what brings you here tonight?" he asks, trying to be ultra suave. He's harmless and uber young; how could we not take advantage? I know. I'm a horrible person.
"Well, as you can see, we're having out weekly knitting club!"
He laughs.
"I'm sitting over there with my work colleagues. We're having after work drinks."
He points to six men in suits and 2 giggling females.
"Great. Look, I'm from Cape Town and I hardly ever get to see my mate. If you don't mind, I'd really like to catch up with her." I say, pointing to Special K.
10 out of 10 for his persistance.
"Oh, and do you live here then?" he asks Special K.
SK: "Yip."
"What do you two do for a living? I'm in IT. Here's my business card...I'm quite high up in the company!"
He puts the card and the table, and underneath his name it says: Junior Assistant.
I just start laughing and laughing...this is too good to be true.
SK: "I own a dog parlour!"
"Seriously? Cool. I'm 23 years old" he says. I'm just thinking What the hell??
SK: "Well, what are you doing with older woman like us?"
"You're not that old! You must be 25, 26 years old!"
SK: "Nope. I'm 35 and she's 38!"
What the f*ck? Nice one, thanks Special K...very nice of you! Sheesh!!
SK: "She's a beautician, that's why she looks so good for 38!" she pulls a tongue at me.
"So, do you two have boyfriends?" he just DOESN'T give up.
"We do. Don't you have a girlfriend?"
"Of course you do! I have a girlfriend. She's 17 and so immature. I'm looking for an older woman!"
"Of course you are. Right, well, seriously...if you don't mind. I need to catch up with my friend. I have an early flight to Durban tomorrow."
"But I thought you said you lived in Cape Town?"
Shit. "I meant, Cape Town."
He disappears and half an hour later he returns.
Seriously. It was all fun and games in the beginning, but now it's annoying.

SK immediately says: "Do you know, that she's just had twins?"
I am now glaring at my called friend. I just look at her with a: "Are you trying to kill me?" look.
What came next was nothing short of spectacular and fall off my chair laughing at his audacity.
I will quote what he said: "Sexy! At least I know the factory still works!"
That was it for me. I couldn't believe he had actually said that with such a straight face. Jesus!
We promised to join his work crowd in an hour if he left us alone.
We left an hour later and ran for the door.

I've re-read this now and I guess you had to be there for it to be as funny as it was, but I have just typed all of this and I'm not deleting it, so humour me and laugh!! ;-)

Have a fabulous weekend and just remember...5 more days til PAY DAY!!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

So much Month at the end of the Money!

When I've said I've been broke before, I've normally had a little money to tide me over for the few days until pay day.

I'm six days away and I am actually wanting to sit down and cry. I put R14 into my car today. I got a whopping 1.4 litres. Holy shit! My petrol light didn't even go off and the needle didn't even move. I pray every time I need to get into my car that if I do break down, I don't break down in some dodgy area. I'm also driving at 40kms. So if you see a blonde girl driving really really's me! Sorry for the hold up.

So while I was filling up...haha... I asked the petrol attendant (who was extremely amused by my question) how much taxi's cost from Fourways to Sandton.
He told me that I would need to get 2 taxi's just to get to the place and 2 taxi's to get back.
1 taxi is R9. So I'm too poor for a taxi.
How fantastic is that?


The reason this has happened is because I am completely sick and tired of chasing people for my money. It's the one thing I hate about freelancing. People want me to do the voice over or the job or whatever it is immediately! They don't pay immediately though.

It's also really "weird" how I can't seem to get hold of them either...their phones aren't answered and they didn't "get" the emails.
It's so bloody frustrating. I cannot believe I have to chase my own money! I need a manager to do this for me. Haha! How very Hollywood!

People need to pay me. It's simple. I don't know where the new concept came out where people think I work for free?
Even Paris Hilton get's paid and let's face it...she sooo doesn't need it.

So. I decided to draw up a list of things I really need to cut down on and I have realised how much I waste and actually I'm a bloody spoilt brat!! It pains me to say this.
  • I have decided to not buy my monthly magazines (Glamour, Cosmo and Cleo) *can't believe I've never ordered a subscription. Idiot.* BUT, this will be the first month in my life of buying magazines that I won't buy one. I'm pathetic I know.
  • I really need to cut down on my cellphone. Such a problem when I don't have a landline and I LOVE TALKING!!! Seriously, though...I need to.
  • I need to cut down on my lunches with the girls and I need to stop always treating people.
  • I need to put more money into my 32 day account so that I am forced to not touch it.

There are other things I need to cut out, but I don't feel like boring you.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

People justify EVERYTHING

People fascinate me. I would love to find out what the psyche is behind certain people. I'd love to find out how they justify things to themselves. How they make it "OK" in their minds.
It's fascinating and yet if that "wish" of mine had to come true, I'm sure I'd be very haunted.

I have a friend who was engaged to a man who was also engaged to three other women. Firstly - it's disgusting. Secondly, HOW? and Thirdly - How did he think he would get away with it and what made him think it was OK?

I know someone who honestly believes everyone should drop everything when they need something and if people don't, they get really really upset. They also try and palm off as many things as they can on other people - basically they want everything to be done for them, including their job. It's so selfish.

I know someone who believes everyone is jealous of them. Imagine living with an ego as big as that. I want to know what makes them think that and then again, do I?

I have been witness to this girl being overly flirtatious and, well, slutty to a friend of mines husband. He was excellent in the way he handled but I do not understand where girls get off. What made her justify her actions?

Nothing too exciting at the moment...I'm working very hard and I'm rather pissed off that there is so much month at the end of the money!! I'm really feeling the pinch of the bad economy at the moment!

Friday, June 13, 2008

I am so hungover

If I was a box today, I would read: Fragile. Handle with care.

I am soooo hungover
I think it would actually be less painful to chop my head.

Special K and I went out with one of Special K's friends...she's a model who lives in Greece. Oh yes. It was fabulous going out with 2 gorgeous girls. *Sigh*
We went to FTV, Sandton. It's really pretentious but I really had an excellent time with the company I was around. I can't remember the last time I danced. OK, that time in the shower and in my bedroom doesn't count.
I laughed and laughed and drank and drank and drank and drank.

I haven't been to a club for quite a while and I just loved dancing and people watching.

These are some of the things I noticed.

Men really do think they're God's gift to women. Especially when the alcohol starts to flow.
I had this one guy come up to me, he was from Israel.
"You arrr gorjusss! Verrry prrretty. Let me smell your neck."
Before I even knew what was going on, he had his nostrils against my neck.
"Ah, you are even morrre prrretty than I imagined."
"You are not from this country, yes?"
*Evil grin*
"No, I from Rrrrussia!" in my best Russian accent.
"Ah, Russia! Gorjuss!"
"My name, Vickoria. Hokay, I go now."
"How old arrr you?" the greasy dude asks.
"How old Viktoria look?"
"Hokay. I go get vodka."
And I left.
Bad idea. He kept sending vodka shots over. I have no idea how he kept finding me because I kept moving around.

Towards the end of the evening/early morning, last rounds were called and there was this desperation that suddenly entered mens eyes. It was classic and it was blatant.
"Oh shit. Times running out and I haven't scored yet."
All of a sudden, men just looked like hungry wolves except their eyes weren't sharp, they were glazed and they staggered, instead of pouncing.
One word. Disgusting.

I have also noticed that the girls are getting younger and the skirts are getting shorter.*

I have also noticed that I put a bitch face on. I didn't know I had bitch face. I become defensive in pretentious places because I can see the catty rich bitches doing the "up-and-down" look and so I put my chin in the air and put a bitch face on.
It got me thinking. I look just like one of those pretentious girls. Perhaps we all feel we're being judged and so we all have bitchy faces. Maybe if we relaxed a little and didn't actually give a shit, maybe there wouldn't be any airs and graces.**
I say the judging thing because we're girls and at some stage we have judged. No sense in denying it.
I also noticed this beautiful girl and how confident and gorgeous she looked. I loved her boots too.
She saw me looking and automatically scowled at me.
I was shocked but it all made sense. She doesn't know I'm not looking her up and down, judging. And as girls, we automatically assume the worst.***

I have also noticed that I cannot drink as much as I used to. God knows I drank like a binge-drinking 18 year old and God knows I am suffering for it today.

My man is away at Sun City for the Positive Rocks concert...he's filming there. He is also hanging out with the bands and Kelly Rowland. Seriously.
Hate him. :-)

So.... I am getting in as much girl time as possible. Tonight, Blondie 2 is coming over for a Slumber Party. When was the last time you did this?
We've had a good time teasing the men at work with this: "So, B2 have you got your underwear and stilettos ready for tonight?"
"Yup! I've also got feather pillows ready."
"Awesome. It's going to be a regular girls night out know, hanging out in our underwear and stiletto's, eating chocolate and having pillow fights!"

Oh and the other thing I've noticed? Men are so predictable.

Have a great weekend.

*Am I getting older and more prudish?
** And...maybe not.
*** Why is that? Is Dr. Phil around?

Thursday, June 12, 2008

It's a.....MEME!!!

I had absolute bugger all to write, so I saw Tamara, Ruby and Sweets had done this meme, so I thought I'd follow suit. I also decided NOT to tag anyone...Breathe easy Miss M :-)

What is in the back seat of your car right now? CD's, scripts, post, and Nik-nak packets...naughty

When was the last time you threw up? Um...I actually can't remember...oh yes a few months ago and as a woman you CANNOT vomit because if you do, you are automatically pregnant.

What is your favourite curse word? Fuck. It's just so damn expressive. Except, it's not very lady like and I hate the fact that I swear.

What will you be doing 3 hours from now? I'll be drinking cocktails with my mates at FTV.

Have you ever been in a strip club? I have actually and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, plus I've been to Tease-Hers and that was revolting.

What is the best ice cream flavour? Chocolate

What was the last thing you ate? Breakfast....VERY naughty

Ever go camping? I did when I was little, but I haven't been in a very long time. The thing is, would I cope? Hmmm...

Do you have a tan? It's winter...of course I don't...I'd rival Casper.

Do you drink your soda from a straw? Sometimes

Are you some one's best friend?'s great to know that!

Where is your Mom right now? Probably at home.

What colour is your watch? I have a silver one, a red one and a black one. I'm wearing the black one.

What comes to mind when you think of Australia? Bruce and Sheila, mate!

Would you consider plastic surgery? Reconstructive surgery, sure.

What is your birthstone? Amethyst

How many kids do you want? Twins. I'm obsessed with twins...otherwise I'd like 2.

Have you met anyone famous? Um...yes. :-)

Biggest annoyance in your life right now? Not being able to find a sponsor for a TV show.

What time is it? 18h22

Do you eat healthy? Yes and No...I eat quite badly at times, but then I go through very healthy phases. Right now, I'm trying that new "Eat for your blood type" thing and it's great so far...

How old will you be on your next birthday? 26.

Name one thing you'd still like to do? Travel the world, or as much of it as I can.

Favourite colour? It's hard to just choose one. Pink, Red, Turquoise and Black.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I'm a horrible person.

I don't know how long it's been since I was in my smash and grab...perhaps it was a month ago, longer, maybe??
I am still jumpy and neurotic when I approach a red traffic light, but I'm so much better than I used to be!

Last night I was driving home, the street lights were also out so it was darker than usual. I was aware as I approached the traffic lights and kept looking around me. I got one hell of a fright as I turned the other way and saw this man coming towards my car.
My. heart. stopped.

I looked straight into his eyes and had an obvious look of fear, panic and terror on my face.
He moved passed my car and the sudden jolt that he was just trying to cross the street to get to the taxi so he could go home, was a mixture of relief and unbelievable guilt.
The look on his face as he realised and saw what I had so obviously been thinking, has been tattoed into my memory.
He looked at me with such contempt and written all over his face was: I'm NOT a criminal.
He looked so insulted and so he should have been.

I have never felt so bad. I felt so guilty and terrible that it made me feel a little ill. I felt like the biggest racist. I'm not. Not in the slightest!
It bothered me that he looked at me like I was a typical white girl assuming that all black men are criminals.
Thing is, had I been smash and grabbed by another race, I would have had the same reaction if that race came walking by.
It has nothing to do with race, but I felt awful. Really, really awful.

I wish we lived in a safe country. We wouldn't live in fear, we wouldn't look at everyone so suspiciously and we would maybe be a lot less stressed.

On a happier note, I'm going to watch the Big Fat Mel Miller Comedy Show tonight at the Teatro at Monte Casino! I'm super excited. I really do need a good laugh!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Popular Spice Rack

You would think that I could find one bloody spice rack. Is that too much to ask for? One lousy spice rack for me to neatly pack all my spices away so that it doesn't clutter up my kitchen cupboards.

I have tried: Mr. Price Home, Clicks, Hardware stores (yes, I know!), Pick n Pay, Hyperama House and Home, Boardmans, Home Etc and I have tried a few branches of each.

Every single store has told me: "Sorry! We're sold out!"

Sold out of Spice Racks? Seriously???

The spice racks I have found all have filled spice bottles in them, which would make a lovely present, but it doesn't help me at all.

Who knew spice racks were so popular?!!?


Tomorrow I carry on with the hunt of the..... Popular Spice Rack!!! (said in a super hero voice)

Oh and I killed myself laughing at this:

Monday, June 9, 2008


What a weekend it was... Friday night consisted of wine, wine and more wine oh and a fight with Black Steer.
I wanted to juicy cheeseburger and chips. I'd been so good the whole week, that I decided that would be my cheat!
We decided not to order from Mr. Delivery (especially on a Friday night) as we would wait for at least an hour and a half and I wanted my cheeseburger in 20 minutes.
I also was as lazy as anything so we ordered directly (free delivery = bonus.)

I should have known things were going to be a nightmare when ordering took 10 minutes alone.
"Here is my address: 193.... No.... ONE 93.... No..... One hundred and ninety three.....
I'd like a cheeseburger please..... Yes, I'd like cheese, that's why I said a cheeseburger......
Oh alright, make it the combo.
Make it a Coke Lite please..... Lite....Coke Lite....No.....Coke Lite.....

We ordered at 19.30.
At 20.30 we called Black Steer back.
"Hi there, um, we ordered an hour ago and we just wanted to find out how long it's going to be as you said it would be 45 minutes?"
"Are you the lady who ordered the T-bone and fillet of steak?"
"No, I ordered the cheeseburger combo and T-bone."
"So, you didn't order the fillet of steak?"
"Oh. Um. Hold on."
5 minutes pass.
"Ok, we're sending your food to you straight away."
"Great. Thank you!"
Stomach growls on cue.

21h00 comes and goes and eventually I phone back.
"Excuse me, I'm phoning from address and I ordered my food at 19h30. You told me you were sending the food half an hour ago and we only leave 10 minutes down the road."
I suppose that showed how lazy I was, but I was drinking wine and it was cold. (Spoilt brat)
"The driver is on his wy."

21h30 came and went and eventually at 21h40 I phoned and blasted them. I blasted them!! I actually felt quite bad afterwards, but shit. I had been starving at 19h30 and had been salivating for a cheeseburger. We didn't order Mr. Delivery because we knew it would take longer.

I ate at 22h15. It was wrong too (go figure), but at that stage I was so ravenous that I ate the cold burger.

Saturday was better, we had mates over for a braai and then went to my longest, closest friends birthday, Jay Babe. It was so great...really chilled and loungy but naughty. We did things properly. We didn't order shots, we ordered bottles. We didn't dance on the dance floor, we danced on the bar and tables, like any good classy gal does.

I got home at about 4am. Sunday was pretty. ahem!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Scary stuff...

Midnite Gem and Supanova mentioned that the "ghosts" in my house could be homeless people living in my ceiling. (See the previous posts comments.)
It got me thinking about how clever my man was, once upon a time.

I used to live on my own, in a tiny shoebox of a garden cottage, but it was beautiful and it was the first place I lived in when I moved out of home.
The ironic thing was that even though it was my place, I would stay over at my boyfriends house at least 5 nights a week. Ridiculous.
I decided that I should really enjoy my little cottage and decided to stay at home more often. One evening, I went over to my mans house for dinner and DVD's.
I have a love/hate relationship with horror movies. I love watching them at the time, even if I admittedly watch them through my fingers.
I hate them afterwards. I hate having to go down dark passages as my mind just plays tricks on me. I'm always convinced something hideous, gooey and blood sucking is going to be waiting for me behind doors or in closets.

We watched the Grudge. Now some people may think it was pathetic, but I screamed in Scream, so please understand that I am the biggest baby when it comes to Horrors.
That horrible sound the white faced child made was awful and so when it was time for me to go home, he followed me to make sure I got home safely etc etc (South Africa, people.)
My phone started ringing and it showed up as private number. I answered and all I heard was that horrible sound the white faced child made, followed by my man's laugh.
"Stooppp it!!! You're so mean!!" I put the phone down. He had given me such a fright.
He phoned again.
"What?" I spat out.
"Look behind your back seat!" he whispered.
I nearly drove off the road at this point. I have one of those easy-to-scare personalities and I'm a jumpy person, just to make matters worse.
I was so freaked out that when I got home, I made him check my cottage, under the bed, behind the shower curtain and inside my closet.

As he got into his car, he said this: "You know, baby, I've looked in your closet, but I don't really know what your shoes look like. Your shoes could be neatly stacked there with your clothes hanging up and someone could be standing there. Their shoes could just look like a pair of your trainers."

I slept over at him that night.

See why I say he's clever?


I got to meet the Counting Crows today. They're awesome.

I'm looking forward to the weekend. I'm spring cleaning in winter and I'm celebrating birthdays and drinking champagne. Yay!

Have a great weekend!! x

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Blondie has "class" and ghosts.

I thought I would pop past my folks last night for a good glass of wine and a catch up session. My man was out with his mates, so I decided to be a good daughter and visit. Just as well I phoned first though, they weren't at home. My mom was all giggly and she said: "Blondie, we're at the Palazzo Hotel drinking wine!"
"What? Why are you there?"
"Well I entered a competition a few months ago and they called me to tell me I have to come through and pick up my prize."
"Mommmm!!! It's a of those things to get you there and then when you do they whisk you into a room and try and get you to sign your life away in policies for time share etc etc..."
"I also thought so, but I asked the woman on the phone and she assured me it's nothing like that!"
"Mmmm...I'm sure!"
"Just come through! Come and have a glass of wine with your parents."
So I did. I arrived at the 5 star hotel and instead of the wine, I ordered Jamesons and Appletizer.
There was a snack platter out in the foyer and I went to help myself. There were several little tiny dishes on the large dishes. I started picking out the olives, the sundried tomatoes and chicken cubes from each dish. It was only then that I realised that most people were picking up each little dish as that was one serving. I was so embarrassed. How classy of me.
My mom had these rosy cheeks from the logfire and the red wine. She was giggling and my dad and I couldn't help teasing her for being so gullible.
"Oh well! Maybe you two are wrong! Besides, at least we're drinking wine and sitting in the Palazzo Hotel, which we've never seen before!"

Well whaddya know? Before you can get your prize, we'd like to interest you in timeshare and incredible discounts on your travelling yadda yadda yadda!
My dad and I killed ourselves laughing and kept chanting "Told ya so!!" over and over again, like two school children.
We decided to have a lovely dinner at Monte Casino and I got a little tipsy on my glasses of whiskey and Appletizer. It was a weird feeling to be getting drunk with my parents on a Wednesday night.
On our way out, my mom needed the bathroom. The Monte Casino bathrooms are huge and while my mom went into one of the stalls, I stood in the other room filled with mirrors.
I eventually moved into the room with the stalls and noticed there was only one door closed.
I tapped on the door and teased, "Sheesh mom, it sounds like the Niagra Falls in there!"
"Stop it Blondie!" The voice came from behind me.
I turned around to see that there was another stall door closed. I was mortified. I had just tapped on a door and told some woman that she sounded like a gushing waterfall. Charming.

Did I stand around and wait for my mom to finish, with the chance this other woman would come out first? Did I hide in another stall? (Wish I'd thought of that actually.)
I did the mature thing and ran. I ran out the bathroom leaving my mom inside and ran out to my dad who was looking at the "Razzle Dazzle" display. Did I run out quietly and inconspicuously? Nope. My red heels click clacked and echoed in the acoustic bathrooms. My subtlety was fabulous.

My mom walked out shaking her head. It was her turn to tease me.

I had such a wonderful evening with my parents. No weird, embarrassed feelings of: You walk ahead of me and preferably don't refer to me at all. We don't really know each other.
Ok, the embarrassed feelings happen when my dad thinks he's funnier than Chris Rock and also thinks that the table next to us should know that. If it doesn't work, he laughs harder at himself.
Seriously though, there is something wonderful about being older and more appreciative of your parents. I'm glad I'm at this point. It's also wonderful for my parents to finally treat me as an adult. Sounds weird, I know.

I got home, strangely sober and as I turned the corner, I could see my home. Lights were beaming out of the windows. Odd. Neither the man nor I had been at home since that morning and we are very conscientious about switching lights off.
I pulled into the driveway and my dog wasn't going crazy. I walked into the house all warily and every single light was on. Every single light, from our garage to our spare bedrooms. I checked the house and thankfully there was no one there. My dog was acting a little bizarre and actually scared the crap out of me, because he kept looking behind me and when I spun around there was nothing there.
Right so, my paranoia was high and my heart rate higher. I was in my bathroom when I heard the TV go on. My heart nearly stopped. I think it may have, actually, for a couple of seconds.
That paralyzing fear washed over me and I wanted to see what was in my bedroom but I also wanted to stay exactly where I was in case there was something I didn't want to see.
I moved out of the bathroom, slowly and there was nothing there. My TV was on, but that is near impossible. The remote doesn't work, which is a pain. You have to physically switch the TV on.
I spoke to the man when he got home and he hadn't left any of the lights on either.
I cannot explain it.

Seriously, if I have ghosts in the house, best they start paying rent then. Times are tough with a unforgiving economy.
I am incredible spooked.

Oh and PS> I have a hickey! Me! A Hickey!! I can't remember the last time I had one. I certainly was young though. I don't think there was any intention for me to receive one, but there it is, proud and purple. Thank God it's winter -how I love my scarves!!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

A random post...

Thanks for your advice on FB - greatly appreciate it :-)

There is something magical about being at home in the evenings, snuggled on the couch with a warm blanket and hearing a thunderstorm boom outside. It is weird to hear in winter, especially in Johannesburg. It hardly ever rains.

I love cold days for completely shallow reasons. It's for the fashion. I love scarves, hats, warm jackets and stylish boots.

Oh and another one bites the dust. One of my friends, Skinny girl has got engaged. We're all a little shocked but happy (don't get me wrong) for her. She's known this dude for 2 months and broke up with her last boyfriend of 2 years in February.
I am now officially the last girl in my group of friends to not have a sparkly piece of bling on my finger.
Am I upset? Nope. I know my time will come when the timing is right and I'm very content in that.

However, the thing with society that annoys the crap out of me is that when you're in a serious relationship the standard question is: "So, when are you two getting married?"
When you eventually do get married, your honeymoon isn't even a distant memory and people start asking: "So, when are you going to have babies?"
Your first born will still be a little bundle and people will ask: "So, when are you going to have the second one?"
Good grief.
Does it ever end?

The other thing I have decided I am going to start doing, or stop doing, is this: "We must get together..."
I have a tendency to bump into people I haven't seen in a while and at the end of the conversation I always say: "Great to see you again, we really must get together!"
I have the best intentions, but let's be honest, we both know it probably wont happen.
I'm going to stop putting myself in those pressurised situations so that when I bump into that person again and we haven't got together, it's ok.
So there, I've decided to do that.

I've been given extra work to do, which is great. Very glad about that. Yes, it sounds a little ridiculous, but I am happy. More work = more pay!

Oh and I love it when it's someones birthday in the office, especially in winter. It means cake and cupcakes and getting to really enjoy it because I can just hide that "moment on the lips; forever on the hips" under a big warm, large jacket.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I'm taking my privacy back...

I feel nauseous and I'm irritated that I have allowed this to affect me as much as it has.
I'm so pissed off at being so sensitive. I wish I had skin made from leather and didn't give a shit.
BUT, if that was true I wouldn't be me.
I care a lot and I'll admit it: I do care what people think.
Yes sure, you can't control what people think, but that doesn't change things for me. I still do.

Anyway with that said, I have always been a fan of Facebook. I have loved catching up with people I used to go to school with (from nursery school through to Varisty), used to work with and so on. I have enjoyed seeing what people look like these days, what they do etc me a Facebook Voyeur if you will.

I was addicted. It then lost it's appeal for a while. Oh alright, they banned it at work.
They have now unbanned it and as I haven't been on for so long, that appeal just never come back. It's actually become time consuming to see who has written on my wall, who has sent me a virtual drink or growing plant, who has poked and even superpoked me.

My good friends and I chat over the phone, over email or over champagne. The rest of my facebook friends and unknowns all send me the same messages: Hey! How are you? Just thought I'd pop in and say hi! or, How are you? What's news...we must catch up!


I am now being harrassed. I am being harrassed by bitchy girls, some of them I don't even know (go figure) and by annoying horny boys (OK, they're tolerable - irritating but tolerable) and they're (the bitchy girls) actually affecting my friendships and relationships with rumours they're circulating.

I have no idea why they have made such a scandal...what do they gain? There is no grounds for this and while I do know the reason, I just cannot believe people are that cruel, insecure, bored and heartless.
Do they not know that action creates a reaction. Obviously not.

Should I care? No. Is it hurtful? Yes. Is it stressful? Unfortunately yes.

How do you do it? How do you let things roll off you? Teach me.

Maybe I am being drastic, but I don't think so. Facebook is an open window into my life, my friends lives and so forth. I am a very open person, but unfortunately it can be detrimental.

The funny thing is I've been thinking about closing my profile for a while. This has just rubber stamped it for me.
This way I am protecting myself, my privacy, my friendships and relationships.

I am sad, I've really enjoyed it and it's connected me to a lot of people I lost touch with over the years, but really, if we were supposed to be such great friends, we would have stayed in touch. This is better.

I think this is why my posts have been uber interesting. Ahem.
I am the type of person who really lives the naive feeling of: If I wouldn't do it to you; I don't expect it to be done to me.
I know it's unrealistic. If only the world was this way, it would be a much nicer place.
I would also have fewer shoe prints on my back from being a walkover.

I just can't believe these girls have been so mean and jealous. I would NEVER do that to someone. It's unbelievable.
I feel like I am in a time warp and I've been taken back to school.

Anyhoo, thanks for letting me vent a little... I thought this was hysterical:
The email title was: Some People have NO Class.
Sure, we're not asking you to wear a poloneck, but SERIOUSLY...

Monday, June 2, 2008

Can you fix it? Yes or No.

I have been doing admin today. Admin as in: Get LG out to fix my dishwasher - this is so urgent - I can't handle it anymore; phone DSTV to see why I can't pick up certain channels; and tidy up after our weekend braai.

How is it possible that 6 people can be so unbelievably messy? I was even tidying (sort of) as we went along. Argh. It's the dishes that freak me out. Hence the reason, I called LG.

It really annoys me when repair men seem sweet over the phone, promise they'll be there at a certain time and then you sit around waiting and waiting (ok, well, I tidied and carried on writing my book). I needed the guy to arrive before 1pm as I had already put most of day on hold as far as meetings and strat sessions went.
12h30 arrived and he still hadn't arrived. I tried calling them and got the lovely: "Your call is important to us..." for twenty minutes.

At 13h30 he arrived. Now, when I logged my call I explained what was wrong. The wheels had fallen off of the trays so that when I tried to pull the trays out, the tray would just fall to the bottom. I explained this and the fact that the door wasn't closing properly.
That means: Bring the parts.
Right? Am I asking too much?

He arrives only to tell me exactly what I had explained over the phone (he used the jargon though) and then told me he would have to come back as he didn't have the parts.

The good part? I wrote quite a bit today. I felt like Carrie Bradshaw on my laptop today.

My life is a little boring at the moment. I mean, seriously....dishwashers? WOW!

I am actually a little annoyed and upset about something personal. I think it's affecting my mood and blogging mood too. I'm hoping to sort it out soon so that Blondie can return to normal. Sorry about these posts lately.

Do you hate people who like to interfere (even though they say: we really don't want to cause shit or interfere) and are evasive about things, but when it comes down to the crunch and you try and figure out what they're trying to tell you, they clam up?

I'm getting annoyed. Seriously annoyed.