So this money thing...sorry lack of money thing is forcing me to be creative. I have to find things to do, to amuse myself without actually spending a cent. It is a complete challenge.
For example: Going through ash trays to find half smoken cigarettes is necessary. Not fun, but necessary.
OK...I'm kidding, but I have done that before, once. Twice. Ok... three times.
I'm getting to that point though. It has forced me smoke less.
I've dusted off my board games, I'm being forced to drink the good wine I've kept for those "special" occasions and I'm getting to read all my books I've got piling up next to my bed. I also get to write my own book now and yesterday I actually got 30 pages done. I impressed myself.
Oh and how could I forget. Special K would not accept the fact that I couldn't see her, so the night was on her (I hate that, but I appreciate it - what can I say?)
I suppose we should be flattered, but actually... no.
We're sitting there, enjoying our wine by the fire when this young dude comes swaggering up to our table. He had the babiest of faces and yet he was in his business suit.
"So ladies... what brings you here tonight?" he asks, trying to be ultra suave. He's harmless and uber young; how could we not take advantage? I know. I'm a horrible person.
"Well, as you can see, we're having out weekly knitting club!"
"I'm sitting over there with my work colleagues. We're having after work drinks."
He points to six men in suits and 2 giggling females.
"Great. Look, I'm from Cape Town and I hardly ever get to see my mate. If you don't mind, I'd really like to catch up with her." I say, pointing to Special K.
10 out of 10 for his persistance.
"Oh, and do you live here then?" he asks Special K.
"What do you two do for a living? I'm in IT. Here's my business card...I'm quite high up in the company!"
He puts the card and the table, and underneath his name it says: Junior Assistant.
I just start laughing and laughing...this is too good to be true.
SK: "I own a dog parlour!"
"Seriously? Cool. I'm 23 years old" he says. I'm just thinking What the hell??
SK: "Well, what are you doing with older woman like us?"
"You're not that old! You must be 25, 26 years old!"
SK: "Nope. I'm 35 and she's 38!"
What the f*ck? Nice one, thanks Special K...very nice of you! Sheesh!!
SK: "She's a beautician, that's why she looks so good for 38!" she pulls a tongue at me.
"So, do you two have boyfriends?" he just DOESN'T give up.
"We do. Don't you have a girlfriend?"
"Of course you do! I have a girlfriend. She's 17 and so immature. I'm looking for an older woman!"
"Of course you are. Right, well, seriously...if you don't mind. I need to catch up with my friend. I have an early flight to Durban tomorrow."
"But I thought you said you lived in Cape Town?"
Shit. "I meant, Cape Town."
He disappears and half an hour later he returns.
Seriously. It was all fun and games in the beginning, but now it's annoying.
SK immediately says: "Do you know, that she's just had twins?"
I am now glaring at my friend...ahem...so called friend. I just look at her with a: "Are you trying to kill me?" look.
What came next was nothing short of spectacular and fall off my chair laughing at his audacity.
I will quote what he said: "Sexy! At least I know the factory still works!"
That was it for me. I couldn't believe he had actually said that with such a straight face. Jesus!
We promised to join his work crowd in an hour if he left us alone.
We left an hour later and ran for the door.
I've re-read this now and I guess you had to be there for it to be as funny as it was, but I have just typed all of this and I'm not deleting it, so humour me and laugh!! ;-)
Have a fabulous weekend and just remember...5 more days til PAY DAY!!