Friday, October 2, 2009

Adopt a Granny

I want to adopt her as my granny. I want to bottle her and sell her. I'm talking about this lovely, FEISTY 69 year old (love her age) that works at the company I work at in the mornings (thank you flexi-hours.)
She is modern but old school and takes no nonsense let me tell you, but she is just full of fun and doesn't miss a beat. She knows exactly what is going on with who, but has avoided being labelled as a busy body. I love that she isn't afraid to say what she thinks. It's wonderful. She would be a script writers dream for any movie with her one liners and sharp remarks.
She has this cackle that is so wicked that every time I hear it, I can't help but laugh too. Completely contagious. My God she is a feisty little thing. I just adore her.
The stories she has told me have made me, the 26 year old with a few stories of my own, blush. Good grief.

She lives in a retirement village and tells me about her garden that she is totally in love with and how all the old grandpa's always come by to visit and she's not interested. I told her that she just can't help it if she's a little minx.
"Oooh I'm not."
"Yes you are. Clearly you are, if you are getting all those old mens blood pressure up! You little vixen you!"
and out comes her contagious cackle.

She has a better social life than I do and is constantly going out for dinners and dancing and cups of tea at her other friends in the retirement village. She goes for walks and adores shoes. I guess some things never change in that girly department.

She told me a story about her late second husband that I cannot not laugh at when I think about it. She met him in her 50's after her divorce and as they started dating, she said she was nervous to enter the bedroom. *As she is telling me this, she raises her eyebrows up and down* and so she would put it off. Eventually one night, she told him that she didn't know where he'd been so he had better not think about doing anything without protection. She calls condoms French Letters. Bless.
So out came the French Letters and when she saw them, she started laughing.
"Why on earth do you have Rough Riders? Oh no... you can turn those inside out and give yourself a thrill!"

I just wish I could record the way she explains stories. She has a no-nonsense shrill voice with a cheeky manner and yet she has unbelievable charm. When I first met her I was petrified. On my first day that I walked into the office she came out and demanded: "And? Who are you and what are you doing here?"
Talk about intimidating.

I love her to pieces. She makes me look forward to coming into work each morning. What a character!

She adores watching this new season of Strictly Come Dancing on BBC and if you could hear her perve over the male dancers, well, I blush almost every day.
I constantly tease her about it and how she had better keep her blood pressure medication on stand-by and her response is always classic: "Oh Blondie, I'm not dead you know. My eye sight is just fine to look at the "menu", thank you very much! Oh you should should see the way he moves those hips ... Oooooh ... what a thrill!"

I want to gobble her up she is just too cute.

Talking to her makes me really miss my Gran too.

I've always hated the idea of getting old and wrinkly, but she makes me look forward to it. There is something about her and what a little gem she is.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

No pain; no gain....apparently

Man oh man. I try, I really do. I just can't seem to get back into the blogging lifestyle, but if you wanna bear with me, then there will be a post every now and then. Might as well be honest about it.

News? Plenty.
I have moved into my little matchbox and I adore it. I had no problems of settling in and it felt like home immediately. It's my little haven that I can relax in and it is just super cosy.
I will have to take photo's and post them one day.

I haven't had a housewarming because every weekend is pretty much out. I have so much going on. I looked at my calendar the other day and the first weekend that I will have to myself is the first weekend of November. Hectic.

This weekend I am going to Sin City for Spring Break. I have never Spring Break, I mean. Apparently it's one massive concert/party vibe in the evening and during the day you chill out at Valley of the Waves sun-tanning and playing with the water slides. Should be good.

European Boy and I are awesome. I'm madly in love, really happy and I'm excited...he's taking me away to Mauritius in November. Yes. It's always been a dream of mine to go to a Tropical island. I am getting a dream come true. I can't wait for the Turquoise waters, white sandy beaches and plenty of sunshine, snorkelling, pina coladas and utter relaxation.

Have you noticed how all the things that are coming up involve something that I shudder about.
I actually have to go bikini shopping today because I don't know what has happened to mine. I swear there have to be "Moving Gremlins" ... so many of my things have disappeared from the move. Odd.

Why couldn't I have stuck to my winter gym routine so that I wouldn't be a whale...a lily white one to be exact? Oh wait. I got sick in winter and couldn't continue the gym routine. Bloody hell.

I am officially back though. I have moved to a new gym that is 5 minutes from my house. NO EXCUSES. I've started doing Spinning Classes at... wait for it ... 05:15. Yes. In the morning.
I know!!

I also bumped into my old personal Trainer. The gentle GIANT. He has muscles on top of muscles and looks like a mean muscle machine, but he is the gentlest, kindest, sweetest man. I went to him about 4 years ago for a month and he transformed my body (not completely, but for 1 month it was remarkable) however, he then moved to another gym and I couldn't continue with him.
I was so thrilled to see him. So now I am going to him every other day at 6am for an hour session.

I am determined to have a toned body. I'm sick of complaining about it. I've started eating right and exercising and I am certainly going to give myself a proper shot.
Why do I feel like I've heard this all before?
Oh yes. I try this each year. Here is hoping that it will actually work. Hell, if I can stop smoking cold turkey, then I surely have enough willpower to do this. Hell, if I have enough will power to be on the seat of the bicyle at 05:15 then I don't know.

Wish me luck.

Now for the part that I have really been putting off thinking about, let alone writing about.

The De-fuzzing Down There.
I wish I could shave - tried that - itched like hell when it grew back. Just saying. TMI? Sorry.
I'm allergic to hair removal creams. I found out the fun, hard way.
So what other option do I have?
To pour gooey hot stuff all over and rip the &*%$#@! out of me. Awesome.

Guess what I have scheduled at 2pm today? YAY for me!! Not only do I have to get into a ... *shudder* .... bikini... *shudder*.... this weekend but I also really don't want to look like the chick from Scary Movie ... you know the scene where he needs a weed-whacker. Nice.

I am not really a fan of pain. Never have been. So there's that and the fact that some stranger (I don't care that she has seen hundreds and does this all the time or the fact that she is female) is going to part my legs and wax me.
I mean, is there a code out there like there is for doctors and pyschiatrists? Thou shalt not discuss clients at weekend parties?
God I hope so.
I mean I don't know how that topic could ever come up, but hey...stranger things have happened. Right?
Beautician to mates: "Damn - you should have seen this one cookie I was waxing...."
Ok. That would be weird. I don't know if I would like to hear that from my beautician friends.

I really cannot believe that at 2pm today Im going to be gripping the side of the bed and biting pillows. Hopefully the bikini shopping won't be as painful.

Wish me luck.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

I'm gonna brush that move right out of the colour charts

It's called a toothbrush. Use it. Preferably with toothpaste. I'm not even going to push it when it comes to flossing and mouth wash.
I have never come across more halitosis in one day in my life. Every. single. person I met had halitosis. It was so bad that I nearly gagged, had to take a few steps back, hold my breath and turn my head as if I was fascinated with something that was to my left, while still trying to seem as if I was listening to what they were saying.
I had a business meeting with a man who probably had small animals die in his mouth. That one was a little trickier to try and avoid. Especially when I had to lean in to see the document he had.
I then had to go to a few stores and of course I needed help in each store. Ok, let me be exact. There 5 stores. 5 salesmen. All 5 had terrible breath.

I know that some people have conditions, but I also know that it is impossible for me to encounter 6 men on one day.
No. Brush, floss, gargle. Do it.
How do these people get laid?

Just a thought.

In other news and I know I'm getting annoying now, but seriously, I am tingling I am so excited. I cannot WAIT to move. This weekend, I am sanding and staining some furniture I have had in storage. On Monday we paint my apartment - oh good grief - that reminds me, I still haven't chosen a colour. Seriously. How many bloody natural colours can there be? There is cloud white, vanilla white, off white, cream white, angelic white, cognac cream, Grecian White, Pearl...the list goes on and on. I am undecided between a neutral colour called Jasmine something or other; Light Clay or Velvet Cream.
No. You can't choose from the names alone, other wise I would have an apartment that is painted in colours called: Petite and Perfect (there really is a colour called that AND it's all about positive affirmation, so if my apartment was petite and perfect perhaps I could be too ) or it would be Fairy Dust or Sugar Shack or the Passion Pit. Yes. These are all legit colours.
I am useless. I need someone to close their eyes and wiggle their finger over the page with the colours I've chosen and pick one.
Anyway - so on Monday, the colour will be picked and on my wall and then on Tuesday SPRING DAY, I will move all my furniture in. I have so many different furniture companies coming through and I hope they all arrive before 3pm.
I cannot wait. I seriously cannot wait.

PS> 2 and a half months of no smoking and going strong. Feel fab!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

I am going to be a toned and skinny ROCK STAR!

I'm starting a band. I'm preparing myself for the rockstar life that I know will be mine soon. I'm going to have to start getting used to the adoring fans, the throwing of underwear and the cramped hands from all the autograph signing.
I know it will be tough on the road, but *sigh* someone's gotta do it.
I played Guitar Hero and the drum kit for Guitar Hero like a rockstar. After every song the TV screen yelled out: YOU ROCK!!
I know, I know. Why be modest when you are pure brilliance?

What a jol! On Saturday night European Boy and I went over to the helicopter buddies for pizza and Guitar Hero. It was ridiculous how funny everyone is when they play. People stick their tongues out, their brows furrow, they squint their eyes and some even stop breathing...all in concentration. Oh and heaven help you if you dare cross in front of the TV screen. Lesson learnt ;-)
We had someone on the mic singing, someone on bass, someone on the guitar and someone on drums. It was very "rock and roll." I loved it.

In other news. Special K is killing me. I know that I will thank her but in the mean time I curse her, I huff and puff and I glare at her with the "why do you hate me so much?" sentiment.
According to her (and I quote): "By the time I am finished with you, Blondie, I will be able to crack eggs on your ass!"
She is my personal trainer, dietician and support system to lose 12 kgs and become toned and fabulous.
I have had enough. Sure, I lost a lot of weight from no emotional eating, going to gym etc... but it's not enough and I feel like I should be in my prime especially being in my mid twenties. The reality is, I'm not getting any younger and each second that passes, maintaining a figure gets harder and harder. I need to get a figure first and then try to maintain it.
I am a little scared to be honest and I'm nervous, because it is a lot of dedication and committment, but I am motivated and I really wanna do this. If I can stop smoking cold turkey after a pack a day for 8 years, then I am stronger than I think and have amazing will power to do anything I set my mind to.
I sound like I'm trying to convince myself more than you. You're probably right. Baby steps.
I have started a food journal, which actually really helps. I've read in Shape Magazine and other articles etc that keeping a food journal helps. I never really "got that" until now. I also train so hard at gym that the idea of putting a cheeseburger in my mouth afterwards kind of makes me feel like all that gym would have been a waste, so why bother.
I really want to do this properly, once and for that I can maintain it. I'm doing this for myself and yes, let's be honest, my career too. Let's see how it goes. :-)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

A week and a bit then and you want me to pay HOW MUCH??

OMG. I had a beautiful little wake up call. So did my bank balance. Ha! Balance means you are actually savvy with money and have savings and stuff.

As excited as I am to be moving and thankfully I have a lot of stuff in storage, I still need to get a whole lot of new things. I ordered my cuppaccino suede L-shape couch and my dark wood furniture. I bought the matching kettle and toaster in it's silver finish. I bought the silver, mirrored microwave and other kitchen items. I expected these to be somewhat costly.
I did not expect these things to be expensive:
Bath sheets, hand towels, curtains and blinds, linen, duvet covers, pillow cases etc.
I did not choose Egyptian cotton with thread count blah blah blah ... I got ordinary white duvet covers and pillow cases..... from Sheet Street.
I did not budget for these things being so expensive. Imagine my surprise when you're taking items for R89 and R199 etc and handing them over to get a final bill of R1895.99. Say what???
It just goes to show that the small things really can add up.

It's getting closer now and I can't wait. So much to do. I also am a hoarder. I have tried over the years to change that and I have given up...given in? to the fact that it's never going to change. However, it has to change because my new apartment is so tiny that if anything is out of place or stacked up the place will look like a tornado ripped through it.
I have collected and built up so many things that there is no way I have space for everything.
I heard what you said. So be brutal and chuck things out. Surely you don't need everything.
How can you swear at me like that?
I do need everything and I can't bare to throw things away in case I may need it down the line. Oh good grief. This is why I need my girlfriends. We need to create my own version of The Style Networks: Clean House

All I know is that it's a week and a bit and then I have my independance back. I also know that I have a bottle of Moet champagne that is eagerly awaiting the move too.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Changes ...

Can you smell it? Can you feel it?
Ok maybe not entirely, but you know that Spring is just around the corner. Alright, to be perfectly honest all I can really feel is how dry and frizzy my hair is, how those static shocks hurt and how dry my skin is that I look half woman-half reptile.

I have noticed how some trees are starting to blossom and how the weather is shyly warming up. I had 2 braai's this weekend and I didn't have to pull on a jersey once.

There are two things that I always freak out about though.

a) I am so lily white that I may blind anyone who isn't wearing sunglasses.

b) those layers of clothes come off to expose the layer of "blubber" I fondly called my layer of warmth.

There would actually normally be 3 things ... the third would have been that I would need an industrial strength razor to deforest my legs because *again* I fondly called them my "layer of warmth home grown stockings."

My legs have been silky smooth all.winter.long. Thanks to my relationship with European Boy. 'Nuff said.

OK no wait. They haven't been silky smooth all.winter.long. They have been silky smooth all for a few hours after I've shaved them (I'm not a fan of waxing. My legs, that is. Go figure) until I got cold, got goosebumps and then instantly had chicken flesh legs. God it pisses me off.

I have a LOT of changes coming up. All happening ON Spring Day.

I am moving into my fabulous, tiny bachelorette pad that has a little garden. I love gardens and while this may be tiny, I can't wait to sit on the patio in the sunshine and watch the birds.
Good grief. I sound like I'm 80. LOL

I can't wait to decorate and just have MY OWN space. I adore my family and I'm so grateful that I was able to move back 8 months ago after the breakup, but I really do need my independance and after running my own household for 4 years (my way) it has been difficult going back to living under "mom and dad's house rules."

An element of my job is also changing on the 01 September which is bitter sweet. It is exciting and sad at the same time. It's going to be quite an adjustment.

These are a few things that I'm looking forward to about summer:

Ice tea's and cocktail sundowners with my girlfriends.
Salads and fruit salads.
Ice cream.
Pool Parties.
Summer dresses and slops.
Bronzed skin.
Leaving my hair to dry naturally because this time the haridryer will be too hot, instead of welcoming! LOL.
A green city again. I'm over the drab brown.
The smell of suntan lotion.

I can't wait.

Sunday, August 2, 2009


So yes Anonymous, my blog has become boring and has grown a fair amount of cobwebs, but shitloads has been happening. Twitter is easier. Just saying.

Yesterday was officially some "me time" ... something that I took for granted, never appreciated and now that I never get any, I miss it.
I finally had some time off, so I decided to go and get my hair done. Boy did it need it. My regrowth was so bad I was starting to look like Charlize Theron in Monster. I hate regrowth. It doesn't matter how clean your hair is; you still look like you haven't washed it in weeks. I sat in the chair excited for my hairdresser to make me blonde and beautiful. I love getting my hair done. I especially love my hair being washed and the head massages I get at the basin and on the chair for treatments. Pure Bliss. Why oh why though can I NEVER get my hair to look exactly the same as they did it? I buy the products they use, I have my life saving what-would-I-do-without-it ghd hair straightner and yet it never looks as sleek and professional?
Anyway...I'm just setting the scene. It's a Saturday, the salon is crazy busy and while I'm getting the head massage my phone starts to ring. I ignore it. I felt strange doing so and put it down o the fact that I'm not used to switching off and having "me time."
It rang again. I left it.

Eventually I couldn't take it curiosity was strong and my gut feeling stronger. It was Special K.
Special K and I have a very strong bond. I have heard Oscar winning performances from her and it hasn't fooled me. I know when she is upset.
"Hi Blondie!"
"Hi. What's wrong?"
"Babe. I have some bad news. Are you sitting down?"
"Oh my God. What? You're freaking me out. What is it?"
She went on to tell me the news. I think the world stood still. Hair dryers became mute in my world, people froze in time and my heart sank.
A friend of ours had died that morning. The Cancer took our 32 year old amazing friend. He had fought for so long, had painful chemo sessions, operations and..... my heart broke. My heart broke even more for his fiance. I can't imagine what she must be going through.
We only find out a week prior that there was no hope anymore. That we would be lucky to have him in our lives until September. I have been battling with that news the whole week and to get that call from Special K broke me.
I could NOT stop crying at Jeauval. I felt mildly embarrassed because people were staring and mumbling to each other if I was OK. Strange how very few people came over to ask me. I could hear everyone talking and muttering, but it was like I had this invisible force field around me. Odd thing to notice too. I know.
They curled my hair and made me beautiful, but my face was red and blotchy with grey traces of mascara streaming down. My poor hairdresser gave me a serviette and a hug and I struggled to pull myself together.

I felt selfish too for internalizing this and making it about me....not entirely, but I hope you know what I mean when I say this.
It hit me really hard because he was diagnosed with the same cancer I was 3 months. The only difference? I caught mine early, had it cut out and now watch myself life a hawk. He was not so lucky.

RIP my wonderful, funny, warm, amazing friend. I really miss you and I wish I had more of an effort. 13 June 1977 - 01 August 2009.

It sucks that things like this highlight things that should NEVER be taken for granted. The special people in your life, life itself and always appreciating the things we have.

I don't really know what to say. I am crying typing this and I think I'm gonna stop now.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

321...split personalities.

This is my 321 post. I guess it's not really a special significant number, I just liked that it was 3-2-1.
Random. I know.

I have been one complete yo-yo of late. It's like the schizo personalities have finally taken over. Or at least just one, other than me, Blondie.
You shutup.

One part of me has been completely sane and the other part of me has gone insane.
This week I decided that since the no smoking was going really well (oh and I'm relieved the other personality doesn't like smoking either...something we're in sync with) that I would up it a notch and try and get back into eating well and my regular exercise routine with my mate, Sugar.
Sure, I was sick and had early meetings etc, but there really is no excuse now. Especially with Spring looming. And speaking of, oh my goodness, I'm excited for Winter to hibernate. I can't take the static shocks any more, and my jokes of: "It's the electricity between us" and "Did you feel that? We have a spark!" when I touch people and shock the shit out them is losing it's humour. The static frizz that's called my hair and the scaly legs that no amount of exfoliating or body butter helps is driving me nuts. I also can't handle having to put sunglasses on everytime I undress and see my naked lily white body.
And that would be lumpy body. Where did that cellulite come from? Is it an age thing or was it that extra helping of pasta Alfredo in the cold weather?
Hell no.
Gym it is. At 7am when it's been 5 degrees.
Yes. I know.
Desperate measures my friends. Sugar has also turned into quite the drill sergeant too.
I will sweat my ass off on the spinning bike or while I'm doing weights, whatever and then straight after gym, evil; unhealthy personality kicks in and craves cheeseburgers and chips (with vinegar) or chocolates. Mainly chocolates.
Bar Ones, Lunch Bars, Kit-Kats, Top Deck slabs, Tex bars, oh my, you name it, it's been devoured.
It's disgusting.
WTF? I mean seriously. You'd think that after all the torture I put myself through, I'd feel all "rah-rah-let's go!" and opt for a health sandwich or salad. Nope. "Hand me that chocolate bar. Now!" and "Yes please. I'd love that extra slice on cheesecake dribbled with strawberries!" come out of my mouth.
This horrible unhealthy personality is strong. She almost always wins.

Must find a way to banish her and quick before Spring comes around and lumpy, lily-white Blondie here has to take off the layers of clothes we've been hiding under.

OMG. See that above? I just referred to myself as "we."
This is not good.

In other news: I found an apartment. I am so bloody excited that I turned instantly into the jumping up and down, squealing girl from those American Teen Movies. I get to do house shopping now and I love house shopping. I love looking for furniture and photo frames and quirky salt and pepper shakers etc. Sigh. This is exciting.

Monday, June 29, 2009

I'm BACK!!.... sort of....

Wow. I'm super embarrassed. I haven't blogged in over a month. That is disgusting.

I have been ridiculously busy and haven't had much time to blog. I blame Twitter, which has kind of taken over really, because it's like microblogging. I can "blog" automatically as to what is happening, rather than sitting down and trying to write everything thats been going on in one piece.
I'm making terrible excuses aren't I?
I'm sorry.

I am still apartment hunting. I am ready to gargle with glass, put toothpicks through my eyeballs...ANYTHING, to find the perfect place.
Perhaps I am a cheapskate, but I am struggling to find something in my price range. I just cannot afford anything more. That doesn't mean, however, that I will accept living in a flea, cockroach-infested, dangerous and ridiculously small place.

The search is driving me crazy though. Seriously.

Let me give you an idea. I have tried Private Properties, Gumtree, every other search site available....I'll be here forever if I have to name them all...but feel free to send me more... I have tried Fourways Review and Sandton Chronicle.
Get the idea?

I have also been really busy career wise. It's strange though, because I feel like I am in a career rut. I feel like I should be doing more in my line of work and challenging myself more and yet I'm not quite sure what to do. LOL. I'm sure that it's just a phase. Let's hope so.

I am also madly in love. I haven't felt "this" before either. It's scary. A good scary. I am ridiculously happy; I can't wipe the silly grin off my face and I get butterflies everytime I think about him or see him. Today is actually our 3 months together (officially.)
I've never been treated like this before and I could kick myself actually. Every woman deserves to be treated like a queen. No settling, no excuses and no compromises. Why do we allow men to treat us badly? I look at my friends and my sister...I expect the men they are with to treat them like gold and I will say as much....I don't know why I never applied that to myself.
I can only say this because of the awful experience I went through. So everything for a reason, no regrets and huge lessons learnt. I can only appreciate the good, because I experienced the bad.

What else has been happening? Ooooh a BIGGIE! I have quit smoking. Today is actually Day 15 of no smoking, not one drag. Nothing. I have also done this cold turkey and to be completely honest, I have gobsmacked MYSELF. It's not that I didn't think I could do it; but at the same time, I didn't! LOL. Does that make any sense whatsoever?

I'm totally proud of myself. It also wasn't planned. This is what happened. After my Cancer scare, I knew that I needed to quit. I'd also been wanting to quit for a while, but in all honesty, I really enjoyed smoking for the social aspects and having something to do when I was bored etc etc...all the excuses under the sun. I had been saying for ages that I was going to Monday and so it went. I also got one hell of a fright when I actually worked out how long I have been smoking for. I don't know why (in my mind) I thought I had only been smoking for "two years"...I've been saying that forever. I've actually been smoking since 2001. A box of 2o a day for 8 years. On weekends (with alcohol) 2 boxes in a night. DISGUSTING.

On Sunday 14th June I had half a cig. Half a cig, because I just really didn't enjoy the taste of it. Perhaps it's because I had smoked nearly 2 boxes the Saturday night before with all the alcohol I consumed (haha) but I just didn't enjoy it. I stubbed it out and didn't smoke for the rest of the evening. That Monday morning I woke up and didn't even think about a cigarette. I went for breakfast and a movie with EB and when it was time for me to go to work it hit me that I hadn't had a single cigarette. I wish I could say that I was struck by an angel singing "Aaaaah" epiphany, but something inside me and inside my mind just snapped. It's like my mind shifted and I just decided to stop or at least to see if I could. Hours turned into days and weeks. I can't even use a glass of wine as an excuse because while the craving is strongest when I'm drinking a cocktail, it's so manageable.

I almost feel guilty because I know that stopping smoking is supposed to be horrific and a major struggle for people, but I have found it relatively easy. I'm not going to lie and say that I haven't struggled, because I have and I've eaten SHITLOADS of sour worms, but it hasn't been as hectic as I was expecting. I was expecting to crawl the walls, to have night sweats, to see everything as cigarettes and to be a royal bitch to anything that moved, but it just wasn't the case. It hasn't been that awful and perhaps it really and truly is ALL IN THE MIND.

Man I hate cliches, but you can't fault them.

I have become one of those ex smokers. I am annoying. I'll admit it. I can't handle the smell of smoke now. It freaks me out, it makes me sneeze and I actually hate waking up in the morning (if I've been in a smokey place) smelling of smoke. My hair and my clothes STINK of it and I just wonder WHY I never noticed it before. I am noticing that I can smell my perfume, that my clothes still smell like Sta-soft hours after I've had them on and my taste has changed. Everything is tasting delicious. I had a curry at Bukhara in Cape Town on Friday night and the spices were even better than I ever remember.

The downside? I got sick the day after I stopped smoking. It was a combination of this God-awful strain of Flu and my sinuses acting up from...get this...the lack of smoking. My doctor explained that when you stop smoking, the hairs in your nose and lungs start to move and shake off the tar, nicotine or whatever gunk it is. It starts to come up (this is attractive) and so people cough, blow their noses and so forth... The perception is: "I was healthier when I smoked!" but it's not actually the case...if you can bare with it for a few weeks, you'll realise your body is just rejuvinating and that you're getting healthy...damn have to get worse to get better. Most people can't stand it and so they just start smoking again.

Screw that idea....I'm not going to go through this sneezing, coughing, sinus-y mission to pick up a cigarette and then have to go through it AGAIN when I wanna stop smoking AGAIN! I'm going to go through this ONCE. Sure, it hasn't been as difficult as I expected it to be, but with that said, it's still been a struggle (a personal one) and I would be so F*%`^ed off with myself if I crumbled and had a drag. Just saying.

So, yes. Day 15. Here's hoping that it long continues.

I'm going to do my best to blog more often. I mean look at this essay...woah...sorry for the eyeball strain! It's just that I don't really have as much time as I used to have. I wont promise, but I will try! :-)

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Girls Only.

I am bloated, super sensitive, having a fat ugly day, a bad hair day, I feel like I've re-entered puberty as far as the pimple zone goes and all of this because I'm PMSing.
Seriously. It's days like this that I let down the female team by saying: I hate being a woman. Sometimes.

Why do us woman have to go through so much shit. Periods, period cramps, giving birth, getting fat from that (I think guys should go through all the sympathy pains...their stomachs should swell-no the beer belly doesn't count, they should go through the pain etc...) we're more prone to bladder infections, we go through menopause etc...etc...etc....
It's rubbish. Absolute rubbish.
I feel like having a feet stomping temper tantrum, screaming into a pillow, having a good cry and then stuffing myself with chocolate.

Can you tell I'm in a bad mood?

In other news, I did go on a major shopping spree (OK, I do love being a woman.) It was a necessity because I needed new winter clothes. I don't know what happened to my winter things...did they get lost when I moved out of the ex? Are they stuck (by mistake) in storage with my kettle and cutlery?
I literally had a few coats and that was it. I got long sleeve shirts and tops, black pants, a fluffy robe and pair of slippers that I live in now. I don't actually want to leave the house and I find myself forcing myself to accept social invitations just in case I become one of those woman who never gets out of her pajamas and becomes severly obese.

I got 2 pairs of gorgeous black stilettos. 1 pair that has a pointed toe and 1 pair that has a rounded toe. Essential I tell you. OK, I told myself that, when I handed over my debit card for the hundredth time. I was surprised I didn't have blisters on my fingers from the number of times I had to punch in my PIN code.
Pay day (25th of each month) is a beautiful thing on the actual day and for the next 5 or 6 days. By the time the 1st of each month roles round I am broke again. Not entirely, but you get the idea.
However, I am still going to stand by the point that that shopping excursion was absolutely necessary. I can't be catching a cold now so that I wouldn't be able to work for the next salary. I needed those winter, robes and slippers included. In my industry it's no work; no pay, so you see? Thank you Miss Excuses. You're much nicer than Mr. Murphy.

PS> I am starting to get alarmingly obsessed with vanilla tea. I use the word "alarmingly" because I find myself getting upset when restaurants don't serve vanilla tea. That isn't normal. I'm putting it down to the PMS week and will have to monitor myself closely the week after that. I'll keep you posted....or just keep checking the headlines for Crazy Girl arrested for assaulting Restaurant manager for not stocking Vanilla Tea.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


I had to *sob* admit defeat. The European Boy's beat me. It pains me to type this.
I did however, eat my weight in prawns. Just about. I made us girls proud! I think I devoured 3 overflowing plates of prawns. The fact that I had to be rolled out of Jimmy's Killer Prawns is another story all together. Wow.

I have a quick Q...

Is there always fire where there's smoke?

Monday, May 18, 2009

Beaten by a Girl!

I went back to gym today and I nearly died. I huffed and puffed like a sixty year old who smokes 60 a day. It was attractive. It felt good to be back though...back and focused.

May I please do a little victory jig. I just bought 2 pairs of Levi jeans...and they were two sizes smaller. I am so chuffed right now. I haven't been this size since I was...I don't know actually... that's how long it's been!
Speaking of shopping... I have a problem. OK wait. That sounds bad. I'm really not a shopaholic, in fact, I'm an embarrassment to the female race.
I'd like to think of myself as a really clever shopper. I manage to find good little steals and I know how to make something look really expensive when in fact it cost me nothing... just about.

I have had to do that to be honest, because I have such expensive taste. Expensive and international taste. I always manage to pick out the most expensive things in catalogues or I'll go into a store and love the pair of shoes/coat/dress/lounge suite that has the extra zero's on the end, while everything else is reasonable.
I'm also not shy to ask people in the street where they got certain things. I sometimes embarrass the people I'm around because I'll walk up to a woman and say: "Aw I love your necklace/hat/boots/jersey/etc...Where did you get it from?" I am yet to hear someone tell me they got it in this country. Hell, I'd even settle for someone telling me they got it in another province.
It's always:"Oh this? I got it in Dubai/Brazil/London/Spain/Thailand/Italy/Paris etc..."
See? Expensive AND foreign taste!
When I have had extra cash and spoilt myself on something boutique-y and expensive I hardly ever receive a compliment. HOWEVER... If I buy something from Mr. Price people flip out about it.I once bought a pair of shoes from Jet (they looked like Diors) and people flipped out. I just smiled knowing full well they cost me R99.99. :-)


I am so excited.

You know how much I adore/obssess over prawns. When I first started seeing European Boy I had to suss out if he liked the little garlic and lemon butter buggers. That would have been my deal breaker. Just kidding. Seriously. Turns out he loves them too and he instantly became a keeper. :-)
I was telling/warning him that I really am extremely embarrassing to be around when I eat prawns. I become an animal. Always a good thing to warn a new man. I need a warning label...or a "terms and conditions apply" label when I eat prawns or singledom could be a reality.
He's been telling me that he is worse. I don't believe him.
We've been egging each other on for a while now and finally we're putting it to rest. Tonight at Jimmy's Killer Prawns, is: ALL YOU CAN EAT SPECIAL!
I think I just orgasmed.

His brother got involved too, so now it is the European Boy's vs Blondie. Those boys are going down. I've been sending them messages all day asking them to prepare for the fact that they're going to be a girl.
I'll let you know how it goes down tomorrow, unless of course I eat myself into a coma.

Oh shit...I may just put on those two dress sizes and have to take those Levi jeans back. We'll deal with that at tomorrow's gym session.
Let's hope for a victory people!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Saturday Night

I originally thought that my life was rather sad earlier on, but now I'm actually just grateful that I am sitting at home on a Saturday night.
I'm working really early tomorrow morning. In fact I just set my alarm clock for 04h30. Lovely.
I could have pulled an all nighter, but I've done that before and it killed me. Never again.

I visited Blondie 2 today complete with flowers and donuts. Actually the donuts weren't a planned thing, but bakery smells are one of my favourites and it lured me inside. It wasn't my fault. I promise. Handy though - nothing like fattening but delicious comfort food after an operation.
It has been Laguna Beach Weekend on MTV and the two of us cuddled up (I was petrified that I was going to move too vigorously and hurt her stitches) all day and watched the show. It actually irritated me so much but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the drama and just had to know if LC was going to get back together with Jason or not. Oh My God!
They are so bitchy, shallow and superficial, but it's so entertaining that you can't help yourself. It also made me feel normal, human and intelligent. OK fine, it also makes me a little jealous of their gorgeous clothes etc...but still...
One of the guys threw one of the girls a surprise birthday party and afterwards he said: "Not telling my best friend about her surprise party was one of the hardest things I have ever had to endure! Oh my God!!"
Blondie 2 and I killed ourselves laughing. Dude. People are dying and starving and THAT was the hardest thing you've ever had to endure. Seriously deep.
Man it was fun.
I got home today, poured myself a glass of Amarula Cream on the rocks (I had a craving) and mom was making a traditional South African dish called Bobotie. I cannot remember the last time Bobotie was made... Years have gone by I think. I've never really been a big fan of the dish, but tonight I particularly enjoyed it.

I have been uploading photo's onto Facebook, twittering, blogging, know? Just an average Saturday night :-)

It's nice actually...being at home on a Saturday. Either I'm in denial or I'm getting older, because I don't think the 16 year old Blondie would have been too impressed with's a decade later and I'm looking forward to getting into my pink pj's, snuggling in bed with a cup of hot vanilla tea and my book and having an early night.

Sweet dreams

Friday, May 15, 2009

Fat and Lazy weekend

I feel like a beached whale at the moment. I'm sure it's all in my head, but seriously. I feel fat.
I haven't set foot in the gym in over 3 weeks. I went to Knysna and obviously the cute idea that I had of running on the beach every morning was laughable. Then I returned back to Joburg in a mini skirt and slops...that was like landing in the Antarctic dressed for Mauritius. It resulted in a change of weather cold that came to bite me in the nasal passages last week, so no gym for me either. This week I still haven't felt hundreds and have had early meetings every morning which has messed up any routine Sugar and I enjoyed. The worrying factor is that the longer you stay away from gym; the easier it is to get into that routine. Oh no. Having a new man is motivation actually. No one wants to see jiggly bits or dimples in the wrong places.
Seriously. Monday morning is going to be my new start... I'm going to get focused and sweat my ass/tummy off. Literally.
Oh and the colder it gets, the further away I am from choosing a salad for lunch. Bring me hot chocolate, warm stews and warm comfort food. This is really not helping.

It's the weekend and I have no plans. It's weird actually. I know what I'm doing on Sunday morning...I'm working. I know that tomorrow I am going to visit Blondie 2...she went in for an operation so I'm going to bring her flowers and sit with her while the painkillers set in.
Poor thing.
Other than that, however, I have nothing on. It's really nice actually.

I hope you have a brilliant weekend.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Rockstars and Happiness

Watched Jesse Clegg last night at the Civic Theatre. He is twenty years old and I am prepared to say that I can see him breaking the international market.
It has nothing to do with the fact that he is Johnny Clegg's son - what we can say from that fact is: thank God for great genes.
What a stage presence. He was nervous sure, there were some technical diffculties (it happens often in showbiz) but all in all, he was a rockstar...even next to Arno Carstens who came on as a guest performer. Nice.
He also happens to be good looking and let's face it. It helps. I felt a little bad sitting in row N swooning over a twenty year old, but there is something about a good looking boy strumming a guitar. Just saying.
Oh and did I mention he's a great guy too? What a package. He was down to earth, humble and genuine. I got to meet him after the show and he was incredibly sweet.

I had a really good time. I also brought the new man with me. Yes, I've kept it quiet because quite frankly it has come as a big surprise...even to me. I wasn't looking for a relationship and I suppose it comes when you're not expecting it. So they say. He is also not my typical stereotype in men and honestly, I'm glad. I've broken a pattern that has never been very good or healthy. I've kept it quiet too because I didn't feel like being judged, explaining myself etc etc etc...
Thing is I've never been happier and I am having so much fun. He treats me like gold, he's caring and kind, he makes me laugh all.the.time. He brings out a really good side of me and I love the fact that I am totally myself around him. I can be my clumsy self without feeling self conscious and I'm happy. He isn't in my industry, which honestly, is such a bonus because he's supportive, fascinated with what I do and I now get to find out about his industry too. It's great.
It's early days and we shall see, but right now, this is good and I'm looking forward to seeing what new this journey brings.
So there, I've spilled the beans. I have such butterflies in my stomach and I can't seem to wipe this stupid grin off my face. What a feeling.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Short and sweet

I am going to The Attic, a restaurant in Parkhurst tonight. I'm so excited. I don't know what it is about the Norwood, Greenside and Parkurst areas, but I just love it!
I would love to have an apartment there. Man, that would totally rock!

I have a 9 hour voice over session to get through over the next 3 days. 3 hours a day. It sounds relatively easy, but I can see I am going to be consuming copious amounts of water and tea to keep the voice fresh. The key is to keep the energy levels up too, so you sound as fresh as you did when you started.
Copious amounts of loo-going is going to happen too, I'm sure, with all the drinking.

Oh and horrors of horrors, my Blackberry is in hospital. Yes. It died, while I was in Knysna and I had to send it in for repairs. My Blackberry is fondly called My Crackberry, because I am that addicted to it. I am having withdrawl symptoms. I am also a bit of a phone snob now. I had to *shudder* remember how to use the predictive text mode again and not the QWERTY key pad I am so accustomed to.
Am I brat? Absolutely. I blame technology.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Soundtrack: Offsprings' Greatest Hits, Snow Patrol, The Killers and R.E.M
Indulged in: prawns, oysters, wine, Pezula spa.

Knysna was absolutely exquisite. Even the weather played ball. I did feel like a true Joburger though, because sure, it wasn't summer sunshine, but the sun still shone and that was good enough for me and my lily white ass to hit the beach. There were the locals who were in jeans and light cardigans walking along the beach with their dogs, I decided to ignore them as I smoothed on sunscreen, popped the iPod on and lay on my colourful towel ignoring the chill in the wind.

We stayed at Pezula in a house (well, the word "house" isn't really fair...more like a modern mansion) on the golf course over looking the ocean. It was spectacular. I particularly enjoyed the early mornings - heaven knows why I can't sleep in on holidays. I would sneak out onto the balcony, hoping not to wake anyone, and enjoy a cup of coffee, the quiet and the sunrise. Peaceful.

The one and only night we decided to go out in Knysna, turned out to be ridiculously fun. We had all been joking that the six of us were going to be the only ones at the club. Knysna had been relatively dead. We arrived at Zanzibar Club and it was decorated with pink draping, pink feathers, pink everything. My first thought was: Damn. Where did all these guys come from? and then my second thought was: Hang on. Why are there soooo many guys?
The party that was night was called The Pink Mardi Gras. It was Gay Night in Knysna.
What a jol!
Men were either wearing feathers, checked shirts, shorts with calf-length socks, or dresses, complete with wigs, fishnets and red lipstick.
I was so looking forward to hearing YMCA; It's Raining Men and We Are Family, but they didn't play those songs. Disappointing.
Why is it that boerewors rolls always taste like heaven at 2am? I drenched mine in tomato sauce and mustard and gobbled it down. Good times.

European Boy played a round of golf at Pezula and I drove the golf cart around. No one was injured, surprisingly enough, not even the baboons who were de-fleaing each other on the course. I have no idea how golf works, or what the point is really... You hit the ball away and then you have to find it again (a few times) until you putt it into a hole. 18 times. I wouldn't have a clue whether the guys played like shit or like Tiger Woods so I just gushed at how great they were playing. It didn't go down well when I called out, very enthusiastically: "Good shot!" Apparently, it's not a good thing when it lands in a bunker, the water or the fynbos.

I was treated to the Pezula Spa and I felt ridiculously indulgent. EB booked us into a shoulder, back and neck massage and honestly, it was the best massage I have ever experienced. *sigh*
We made use of the water massage bed too, the steam room, the heated pool and the jacuzzi that happened to be outside. That was my favourite. It was drizzling outside and we kept warm, if you know what I mean. ;)
I felt like a princess - totally and utterly spoilt!

I loved every minute of it and yes it was too short. Aren't holidays always?

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to cope with a normal 5 day week.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Please sir (universe)...can I have a break

I've realised that I really am a complete workaholic. I love what I do and I'm seriously passionate about my career, but sometimes I just don't know when to stop.

I have really been optimistic and done my best to keep my chin up, a smile on my face and to keep on at it being the treadmill.
I am, however, exhausted.
It's not just about working my ass to the bone, I've had a hectic year so far.

2009 has thrown a lot at me and we're only in April. It's not a "woe-is-me" type of thing, but I do kinda feel like I'm being tested. I'm certainly not testing fate when I say: "What else do you wanna throw at me, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Guess what, you've thrown a lot my way and I'm still standing."
I am physically exhausted, emotionally drained and just basically done.
I have decided to do something very un-Blondie like and actually take leave. Even my bosses were shocked and I'm grateful they were so obliging.

I am going down to the coast for an entire week...Knysna to be exact and I'm so excited I might just have an orgasm on the spot.
I'm switching off my phone and I'm going to recharge my batteries and become human again.
I fly down on Monday morning and get back next Saturday.


Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I've lost my blogging mojo. That really sucks.

So, feeling totally uninspired, I didn't want to leave another mad gap between posts.

Thank you Being Brazen...I totally owe you :-)

1. Thought for the day: I cannot wait to go away to Knysna next week. After the year I've had so far: I. need. a break.
2. Song of the week: Katy Perry's - Waking Up In Vegas
3. Word of the week: Gym... I'm back on the health wagon.
4. Drink of the moment: Kola Tonic and Soda Water
5. Currently enjoying: Twitter and my new winter coat that I can finally wear because it's f*#&ing cold
6. Currently annoyed by: the fact that my camera and wallet got stolen and I'm totally broke.
7. Goal/s for the week: make it to pay day and go to gym every day this week.
8. Last thing you bought: Popcorn

Monday, April 20, 2009

Exercising rays of sunshine

I wish I could say that I haven't blogged because I ate myself into a chocolate induced coma... well, I nearly did and have the spots ot prove it. Argh. Why does chocolate have to cause spots? It's just not fair.

Sugar and I are officially (no more excuses) back at gym. Yes we are. This is it. I was doing so well and lost a lot of weight...that should have been motivating enough but I fell off the wagon and enough is enough.
I actually forgot how much fun we have and how much I laugh at the two of us (afterwards...not during)
We always arrive in our gym attire looking at the gym doors like we're about to enter hell. We basically grunt at each other, give each a half-hearted morning hug, take a deep breath and walk in. Our gym cards are swiped and we look at the equipment like they're aliens who might and probably will hurt us.
Our spinning instructor is waaaay too cheerful in the morning.
"Gooood Moooorning Rays of Sunshine!!"
I made the mistake of once barking out: "What's good about it?"
He then decided it was his mission to "cheer me up" by winking at me, blasting the music, sending smiles of encouragement and basically annoying the crap out of me while he made us sweat on level 9 (standing on the pedals) for 12 frikken minutes - 5 times.
I also "cheerfully" curse Sugar. I tell her how much I hate her for doing this to me. I am really wonderful. In fact I could hire myself out as the "ultimate gym partner... just what you need to get you going...literally...away from me."
We do this one exercise where we lie on a bench and do stomach crunches while Sugar throws a medicine ball at, I mean, to me. I groan, grunt and cause havoc in the gym while everyone throws "shut-the-f*ck-up" looks at me. I need to get through the pain by letting everyone know just hard I am working, even if it means that the people on the opposite side of the gym hear me.

Afterwards, however, is a very different story. I feel those little endorphins buzzing through the bod. I feel exhilirated and I'm ready to face my day as a "ray of sunshine". In fact I'm so chuffed with the fact that I didn't get a hernia and I didn't pass out in a sweaty mess, that Sugar and I congratulate each other on the way out. We hi-5 each other and tell each other how fabulous we are and how we instantly look skinnier than we did when we arrived. We even celebrate across the road with a skinny cupaccino or 3.
Good times.
Good Skinnier Times.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Happy Holidays

It almost feels cruel to make you feel ridiculously jealous. Amost.

My working day officially ends in an just under and hour and a half and then it is the long weekend baby! I am so excited because I really do need a break. I want to party and chill..preferably not at the same time because that would just be weird or interesting. I do want to stuff myself with hot cross buns and chocolate...ooooh...melt chocolate ON hot cross buns. Yeees! Washed down with a glass of red wine.

The only thing that would possibly be better is indulging on a tropical beach somewhere. Next time.

I hope you have a brilliant Easter weekend.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Can't get enough of....

I really can't seem to get enough of some things right now. I have a love affair with coffee at the moment and if it was a possibility I would probably have an intravenous drip from the coffee pot into my veins.

Some of my other addictions that I really really can't seem to get enough are:

  • My mates...I don't know what I would do without them and I'm really glad I don't have to ever find out. I can't wait to see them and endulge in, well, coffee... and plenty of laughter.

  • Lemon meringue pie... Yes, I've only had one slice but it was so more-ish that I really want another slice or 3.

  • James Patterson books. He is my favourite author and I adore his writing, his creativity and his twists and turns.

  • Sleep -I really haven't been sleeping well and since my good news with my results being all good, I have been hitting my head on the pillow and passing out instantaneously. WWIII could happen and I wouldn't be any the wiser, however, I have only been managing to get four hours of sleep a night thanks to my schedule

  • Prawns - European Boy and I want to see if we can outdo each other in an "All-you-can-eat" special. He doesn't believe that I am embarrassing to be around. I will eat him under the table. I have no shame. Just give me the prawns and a bucket of lemon butter and I'm good to go. I'll deal with the cholestrol later.

  • Hats - it's my winter thing. I adore hats. I don't wear them as often as I'd like to, but there is nothing sexier or funkier than completing a fun outfit.

  • Chocolate - I've indulged my taste buds with dark chocolate and it's been decadent and heavely

  • Twitter - Yes. Who would have thought? I seem to be "getting it" finally and I'm ashamed to admit I find it fascinating following the likes of John Mayer, Ashton Kutcher and Nicole Ritchie etc...

      Photography - I hardly have any printed photographs because of the fact that digitally they're all on my laptop. I can't seem to get enough of choosing my favourite ones, printing them out and placing them in interesting frames. I adore Black and White photo's too.

      Monday, April 6, 2009

      Hit on

      I went to the pharmacy to get medicine. I hate pharmacies on Saturday mornings. It's like people only get sick on Saturdays. Long queues lined with sick people, screaming feverish children and pensioners with the worst coughs ever. I had this one little old "dear" behind me that insisted she had to be in my personal space and sniff, cough and splutter. I found myself involuntarily arching my back everytime she coughed. I don't really know why I arched my back, it was more like a mind thing that made me feel better like I had stopped her germs from spraying onto me. *Shudder*
      I waited and waited and waited for the pharmacists to fill everyone elses scripts and when I finally got to the counter myself, they suddenly disappeared.
      The one pointed at the phone she was talking on and the others looked at me as if I was interrupting something terribly important. Finally I had the one guy come over to me as if he was doing me a favour and finally (slowly) started to fill my script. I felt this burning sensation - the sensation that you're being stared at and looked up to see who was looking at me. There was a pharmacist standing there smiling at me and giving me those looks. I would have been flattered had it been some hunky McDreamy pharmacist, except that this pharmacist was a "hunky" woman. Hold the bus. She licked her lips at me, gave the "the look" and we all know "the look" and asked me if she could help me.
      "Um no thanks. I'm good."
      "Well you just call if you need anything...and I do mean anything at all!"

      I'm throwing my perfume away. I don't know what happened this weekend, but I seemed to be hit on and hit on in the most random of places. Now being hit on is normally rather flattering and welcoming, let's be honest. However, being hit on by girls is just outright scary. I was hit on again on Sunday by another girl. Seriously. Am I putting out some vibe? How do I make it stop? If I was that way inclined, happy days, but I'm not and while I have several gay friends and I adore them, but being hit on by girls is somewhat surprising.

      Sunday was awesome... I ended up going to European Boy's moms 50th at Casalinga. It was awesome! We were put at a table that was so entertaining. I definitely think that we were the loudest there and it was hilarious. We had a waiter who was a little comedian. He came to take drink orders and when EB's brother order a coke the waiter didn't miss a beat. "How many grams?"
      We all stopped talking. "Wh-what?"

      Yesterday I was a complete lady of leisure...I had breakfast with my best guy friend The Converter, coffee with Sugar, a FIVE HOUR lunch with EB's brother and then drinks with EB's brother and Special K. Now that's the life!

      Wednesday, April 1, 2009

      April Fools Day

      I got pranked. Not once, but twice. Wow. I got a message from Special K this morning (in my defence I had just woken up and didn't know the date yet, let alone what day it was) saying that she was pregnant. I called her immediately, my mind already planning her baby shower only to hear a chuckle and a hearty: "April Fools!!!"

      I thought I was done for the day, now being completely aware, when I got a call from this woman.
      "Hi, is this Miss Blogshell?"
      "Yes it is."
      "Hi there, I'm phoning from Vodacom. I've been calling all our Blackberry clients today. Unfortunately the monthly fee that you pay which allows you unlimited access to internet, email and BB chat/IM is no longer feasible. We are alerting all our clients to the fact that we are going to start charging you for every email, IM and minute used on internet. We're having to disconnect your services until a payment is made upfront. We've had a look at your usage and I'm afraid that you are going to need to pay R5000."
      "What?? You're kidding me. R5000? I know I am on my Blackberry all the time but R5000? Is this an April Fools Joke?"
      "I'm so sorry about this...I've been getting that question all day, but I'm afraid it's no joke. We'll be sending you a letter to explain everything."

      I put the phone down, completely seething. What the hell is the point of having a BB then? I know that R5000 seems ridiculous, but with the amount of time I spend using those facilites, nothing would surprise me.

      10 minutes later, my dad called me saying that he had just received a phone call from Vodacom. When I originally got my contract back in the day, I wasn't able to sign surety, so my dad did. He told me that they had called him asking him if he was good for R5000. I started to explain everything when he stopped me and said... "April Fools!!!"
      I just hear the office pack out laughing. His bloody naughty secretary had been the "lady from Vodacom" and they got me good and proper. Little shits!!

      My Blackberry is fondly called my Crackberry because it's my addiction. I might as well superglue it to my hand. It's ridiculous, I know. I can't help it though.

      Well bloody done! Dad - you got me good!!

      Friday, March 27, 2009

      It's the weekend baby!!

      Onwards and Upwards completely. Thank you for your loving, suportive words!

      I am not going to be a little pity party and life does go on... So I'm being positive and kind of ignoring it. Perhaps it's weird for some people, but it's my coping mechanism right now. I'm not sweeping anything under the carpet, but I just don't want to curl into a mess of a ball.

      Today I had my make-up done for a TV shoot. I find it super relaxing having make up done. I would go as far as saying that I sometimes prefer it to a massage. Sacriledge I'm sure. I'm kinda glad the face is done because tonight I plan to have a party. Shit, why not? I need to knock back a cosmo or two and just enjoy myself with my friends Sugar, Special K and EB. I'm really looking forward to it and even bought a dress for the occasion. A dress that's not black. Another first. It's this deep purple colour and it's sexy. Yes!!

      I also went underwear shopping today. I decided that the boring cotton undies and t-shirt bras are just not going to cut it anymore. I'm over being boring and being single certainly has given me something to think about. Even if no one sees it, I want to know that sexy lace is going on underneath my jeans and t-shirt. I bought a wonderbra that is so WONDERful I can't believe I never had one before. Yes. I am apparently slow. If I say so myself with the wonderful work that is Wonderbra...these puppies are swell. Excuse the pun.
      Anyway, so you know it's bad when the lady at the underwear store remembers me and says: "Eish! It's been looong neh?"
      Um. Great. Thanks for the update and for remembering. That isn't uncomfortable at all. WTF?
      She even threw in a pair of panties with a wink. I couldn't wait to get out of there.

      Have a wicked weekend xx

      Friday, March 20, 2009

      Mini Break

      I'm thinking of taking a mini break from blogging.

      There's no real reason, just need a bit of a break and need to recharge the blogging battery!

      Please don't abandon me...not just yet...

      While I am taking a break from actually blogging myself; I am still going to read all of your, I'm addicted to you guys and I can't NOT read your blog posts every day...I go crazy if I don't! LOL


      Sunday, March 15, 2009


      I am having a ball. No really. Is it possible to be having this much fun and be feeling this good?
      I know you'll be reading this on a "Blue Monday" and so I may just be nauseating right now. Yes I have bad days and I'm not all rays of sunshine all the time, but right now, I am and while I feel like this, I am going with it. Work with me here.
      Weekend is all a bit of a Blur. In a good way. Friday, was interesting... I was a part of a fashion show. Again, I am always quite perturbed that I get asked to do these things. It's not a fishing party right now, but I don't model. I am not a fashion hanger in any shape or form and so it is hilarious. I did this for a childrens charity with some Binnelander and Egoli stars. I wonder if all professional models run thoughts like: "Suck in your tummy! Shoulders back! Don't trip; don't trip..." through their minds. It was a high fashion, think European FTV channel fashion show with the weird make-up and hair and clothes I wouldn't wear out in public. It was fun to be a part of this experience, don't get me wrong, but I wish I could have taken a photograph of the looks I got from the models when I asked a simple question back stage. "To smile or not to smile, that is the question." I wanted to know what "look" we were supposed to be doing with high fashion, dark eyebrows and red lips. Were we supposed to smile or were we supposed to look like we were in pain or bored. I am always fascinated how these models portray their faces down the catwalk...the pained expressions are probably from not eating or shoes that are too small. I experienced this on Friday.
      A little blurry, but here are two of the models...

      High fashion make-up

      Well, in case you were wondering, I was told not to smile from a model (striking features, mind you) who looked me up and down disdainfully, flicked her high-fashioned-teased hair and minced onto the ramp. So I didn't smile and I felt ridiculous. I have to smile. I am a smiley-person and if I can't smile when I want to, I take on a pained expression. Perhaps, that's it.
      I had fun though and I got to gaze at the male models that really are quite beautiful. This one in particular looked exactly like Emile Hirsch and I embarrassed myself by staring too long and hard and then subsequently blushed furiously when he asked for my number.

      Saturday was spent having breakfast at a quaint restaurant with the family and looking at cars. I have decided to get myself a new car. I felt guilty as I test drove these beautiful cars. Guilty because I felt like I was "cheating" on my car parked at home. I am still driving my very first car and she has certainly served me well for the past 7-8 years, but she's old now and so I am fickly trading her in for a new model. I'm excited.

      I went to a braai that night at JB and had a blast drinking glasses of wine and playing 30 seconds...or tried to at least. My poor team mate must have been "chuffed" at being on my team. 2 bottles of wine will do that to you. I pretty much played like this:
      " It's the's her"
      "TIME!!" Everyone yelled out, gleefully.
      Normally I am a little champ at the game but with wine and shooters, I was useless at it.
      I did however, see European Boy. This whole... yes, I can't believe these words came out of my mouth: "Let's just have fun and enjoy each others company with no strings attached" is very new for me and I'm certainly having fun.
      I feel like a teenager again.
      Today has been spent feeling sorry for myself, lying in bed catching up on all the Girls of The Playboy Mansion episodes and catching up with Sugar. She came to visit me and we giggled like school girls.
      Oh and she is...looking smoking, I want a body like this and if she can go from looking how she did to looking how she does now...I have HOPE!! HOORAY!! I'm back to gym tomorrow!

      Friday, March 13, 2009

      Friday the 13th

      I raced through to meet up with European Boy last night. I hate being late and I had traffic and timing against me. Everyone should see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Fantastic movie. And yes. I watched the movie.... Really.
      I've found a great little spot for after-movie wine. Found it with Sugar and shared it with E.B.
      We sat drinking wine and laughing. I seem to be laughing a lot lately and I'm loving it. I also did a fair amount of blushing. I really would love to remove whatever it is that makes me blush. Apparently there is a tablet you can take for it. I'm good...for now.
      It was a great night and I can't wait to do it again. Too much fun right now!

      Today has been a good day... I got rid of any post wine headache at yoga. My mom finally managed to drag me with her today. It's my first time trying yoga and I really enjoyed it even if I felt like a retard most of the time. How is it possible that women who are older than my grandmother in Switzerland can wrap their ankles around their necks while breathing calmly? I didn't see one person over weight though...that's excellent news.

      I am so stuffed at the moment... My department went out for lunch today and we over indulged on Indian food. Good grief it was "more-ish" and we all picked off each others plates. Had a little bit of everything...and stayed clear of Vindaloo... the last three letters are quite telling apparently.
      I have had two glasses of red wine so work this afternoon is going to be fun... It would certainly explain my spontaneous shopping spree staright afterwards. Why can't I just walk into a store and purchase what I set out to get? I arrived to get my turquoise necklace I ordered and walked out with earrings, make-up, two dresses and a pair of leather leggings...I'm unstoppable!

      Normally my Friday the 13th's are average. Neither lucky nor unlucky. Today, I've just been in a really good mood. It's weird to think that today is 2 months since I walked out on the ex. How amazing life is now. I don't mean that with any disrespect but I have to be honest.

      I'm looking forward to this weekend...should be interesting. That's all I'm saying. For now.

      Have a great one!

      Thursday, March 12, 2009

      Movie Mania

      I've fallen off the gym wagon. Nooooo. I hate being sick. I refuse to go to gym when I am, but unfortunately I really struggle to get back into the routine of it. I know that I should be ridiculously thrilled and motivated considering I have lost 7kgs, but for some horribly strange reason I just don't operate like that!
      Sugar and I are feeling nasty and even though I'm not eating badly, I feel so much better when I go to gym. See? Even that statement should show that technically if I feel better when I go, it should be easy. Um. No.
      I think there is something wrong with me.

      Saw Marley and Me last night and I loved every minute of the movie. It was great. Brought back so many memories of my labrador puppy. I donated her to the South African Guide Dogs Association (the hardest thing I have ever done...bitter sweet) and went to her graduation a year ago actually. She is now a full fledged Guide Dog working with Bennie, her blind owner. Anyway, so I laughed and cried through the movie. Walked out with mascara on my chin and popcorn in my cleavage. Shit, I don't know how this always happens to me, but I seriously, always find stray popcorn bits stuck in the bra. Attractive.

      I have been awake since 5am this morning. Now, this is normal for most, I get that. Excuse my brat behaviour now. But SERIOUSLY. Are we not supposed to be in summer? Why was it dark and cold. It should be illegal. I was up at 5am, to leave by 6am for the University of Johannesburg. My sister was graduating today...she received her BA Honours in Marketing Communications and missed cum laude by a few percentage. Poor darling! I am extremely proud of her!
      My entire family attended the ceremony and we all went for a celebratory lunch in Parkhurst afterwards. It was lovely.
      As a result of me being awake since 5am, I felt like the day should be over by 1pm, not half way through. I cannot stop yawning.

      Tomorrow my department is going out for lunch and we're doing curry. Should be good fun! Great way to pass over a Friday 13th. Second one this year. Hope this brings lots of luck.

      Tonight I have a movie with E.B. and I think we're either seeing The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Slumdog Millionaire. Excellent, because I've been dying to see both!
      I know that we're both tired, so hopefully we wont be snoring through it. :-)

      Hmmm...I think I have seen more movies in the past 2 months than I have in 6 years.

      Monday, March 9, 2009

      Loving life

      Well, who knew that I would have actually had fun last Thursday night at the ex's event. Sugar was unbelievable on stage. It was my first time seeing her perform live with her Hip Hop band. Move over Black Eyed Peas! WOW!
      I saw the ex, he didn't greet me at all and didn't greet any of my friends. I found it weird considering that they all phoned him when we broke up to say they were sorry and that there was no animosity from their side. Anyway, who is judging. Oh and the gf/fling/whatever and the ex were all over each other like a rash. I actually wasn't bothered at all. It was a test for me personally and sure it was hard and weird seeing him kissing someone else, but I didn't have a pang of missing, hurt ot anything like that. In fact that night, just confirmed everything for me and I felt relieved and happy to not be with him anymore. I felt that in the first week of the break up but seeing him with someone new really affirmed everything.
      I had fun, we danced and drank and was close to throwing my bra on stage for Sugar. I saw European Boy too and I’m glad that I did. I didn’t think he would pitch, but he has been full of surprises.

      This weekend was too much fun! Friday night I chilled out and on Saturday I had brunch with my friends from Varsity, JB and K. I felt like I had walked into Sex and The City. K was telling us about all her single escapades... she makes single life seem fun (as I am finding out myself) I had my jaw on the floor most of the time. I loved it. She is our very own Samantha from SATC. Wow - she has stories that could make anyone blush!
      That night, I literally dragged myself out. I'm so glad I did. Sugar and I met up with European Boy. We had so much fun that we only got home in the early hours of the morning.
      Let me just say that E.B is an amazing kisser. Another surprise.

      Just saying.

      I stayed over at Sugar and we literally stayed in bed the entire day, groaning and moaning. We drew straws to see who would get up and make toasted cheese and tea. She drew the short straw. Haha.

      Single life is proving to be so much fun!

      Thursday, March 5, 2009

      Onwards and Upwards

      Right so... If you haven't seen the movie "Seven Pounds" on circuit at the moment, with Will Smith, YOU HAVE TO! Be prepared to cry...alot...but MY GOD...what a movie! I haven't seen something that thought and emotion prevoking in years.

      Tonight is certainly going to be interesting. Sugar is performing in an event with her band and I am going to support her...thing is, my ex is putting on the event. I haven't seen him since our break up. Oh, did I mention he has a new girlfriend?
      Anyway... He can't affect me anymore, onwards and upwards. I am excited to see her perform live and I'm going to have fun with my friends. Special K, Bambi and I are going through to support her. European Boy is coming through too with all of Sugars friends...that should be interesting. Haha.

      Oh and drum roll please. I have lost 7 kgs. Yes I have. All thanks to no more emotional/comfort eating, my gym routine and a far healthier lifestyle and eating habit! Gosh I'm chuffed!
      It's weird though, because I can feel that I'm lighter, the scale certainly says as much but I don't really see it. Perhaps that's because this body is with me all the time that it's like: "Oh, you again!" LOL

      Life is positive.

      Monday, March 2, 2009

      I kissed a boy and I liked it!

      No McSteamy/McDreamy doctor to prescribe my antibiotics unfortunately, just a McLady doctor who gave me potent medicine so that I could feel better within 24 hours.
      The meds are quite incredible, however, with them being so potent I was warned:
      Don't even think about having a drop.
      Don't joke around about being a "cheap date."

      Alrighty then, so on Friday night (feeling like a new person) I went around to the "Top Billing" Bryanston Mansion. It was a spontaneous thing and I was told to come around after work for a small get together to celebrate the lawyers birthday. Puh-lease. I arrived to the fanciest of cars lining the street and melt-in-your-mouth cuisine that had "simply been whipped up."

      It was rather embarrassing when I saw the gifts he was being given like a case of Veuve and Moet etc... I only knew it was actually a birthday party when I was on my way there at 19h30, by default of calling my mate, so I stopped at a garage and bought a PS Chocolate that said: You're Awesome!'s the thought that counts and I just couldn't pitch up empty handed.

      Picture this: The hottest, most gorgeous men you have ever seen in your life in every corner to drool over. They compliment you, tell you how beautiful you are and appreciate your shoe fetish. Heavenly.
      Not so heavenly? They're all gay.
      Life is mean.

      On Saturday night, I went off with my gang to Movida for their first birthday party a le Moulin Rouge theme. I was tempted to wear a feather boa and all that jazz (wrong musical I know) so I just stole one from the MC.
      I did however...kiss a boy. Now this might not be earth shattering to most, but for me this is a "never-been-done-before"... I have only ever kissed someone I've dated. Howdoyalikethat? I'm no prude, I've just never really done it. No reason really.
      I must say, I feel rather silly even talking about this, but it is a big deal for me, considering I am painfully shy around the opposite sex and even more so when there is a potential of swopping saliva...hence the reason it's never really been done before.
      It was rather hilarious. I had my guy friends picking out men for me because they were very unimpressed that I hadn't kissed anyone new in 6 years. They were pointing them out and then pushing me towards them. I was laughing so much because it really was rather ridiculous. I kept protesting saying: "That's all very well that you point these boys out to me...and then? What exactly am I supposed to do?"
      Anyway...I didn't have to go over and say hello because I was intercepted by some really cute boy who asked my name. I told him it was Mandy. I would have gotten away with that had my friends not come over and acted as my very own publicists. Grrrreat. Thank you. Hmph.
      Anyway, so he kissed me and then I walked away. Was it embarrassing having all my friends hi-5 me like 16 year olds? Absolutely.
      He did however, come over to me 15 minutes later with a drink in hand and kissed me again.
      It was totally un-Blondie like of me... and even more so that I didn't really catch his name.
      Oh my God. I'm cringing at myself and the fact that I've written this... but it was nice, weird and lovely and definitely going to have to get out there more often...

      Wednesday, February 25, 2009


      I don't do sick. I don't know anyone that does really, but SERIOUSLY!! I have the most irritating tickle in my throat that makes me want to cough...ALL. THE. TIME and no amount of coughing actually scratches the cough. In fact it just irritates it more so I cough and splutter and act rather lady like.
      I am close to overdosing on cough mixture.

      I don't feel sick though. That makes no sense at all, I know... It's just the tickle and cough and phlegm. Yummy.

      I thought some retail therapy would work. Apparently not, but now I have 2 pairs of really HOT shoes.
      Here they are...

      I'm going for dinner tonight with a mate that used to work with me and I'm looking forward to the catch up. No red wine for me tonight, although it would make for an interesting evening on my cocktail of cold medicine.

      So...I started writing this yesterday afternoon and never actually posted it...

      I have woken up this morning, not feeling terrible, but feeling as if someone has punched my chest hard. I am going to the doctor because this cough is getting worse and I can feel it in my chest now. I'm going to the doctor today at 11am. Apparently my doctor is away so I have a substitute male doctor. I hope he is a McDreamy or McSteamy. What are the chances right? I am yet to find a hot doctor. Well, no, that's not true. I do know one and he is a very good friend of mine, so it doesn't count. I think it should be part of the "So-you-wanna-be-a-doctor" requirements you know, like: Must be good looking.
      I wouldn't have a problem then when they say: "Miss Blogshell, please get undressed." or "Miss Blogshell let me check your pulse.... wow, it seems to be racing. I think I'm going to have to check on you personally and make a house call to you later."
      Um. OK!
      Reality will most likely set in as soon as I walk in and he'll be dweeby with ice cold hands.

      Dinner last night was fantastic... 4 Indian gals and myself caught up on all the gossip and it was only when the food arrived that I felt like a typical Westerner. My Indian friends all ate curries and I had a good ol' fillet of steak with mushroom sauce.

      Right, let me go get ready... I need to make sure I make "sick" look good. Just in case.

      Monday, February 23, 2009

      Stained teeth and ticklish throats.

      So scratch the weekend list. Most things changed.

      I did see the movie on Friday night He’s Just NOT That Into You and it was depressingly brilliant. Haha. I had a debate with a friend because yes, the movie did make women look pathetic and men look like assholes, but on a whole, there was a lot of truth to it and that was depressing.
      As a woman, being single now, I am learning new things and I’m learning that if he doesn’t call you or want to see you often, he really isn’t into you, or he would find any excuse to call or see you.
      It was just very interesting and I think that it is a movie that guys and girls can enjoy. It's not necessarily only a chick flick. I couldn't get over how many couples were watching the movie and how many guys were there in a group. Very interesting.
      It was a good movie and I would definitely have that in my DVD collection.

      I did go to Pilates. Now, I’ve only gone to Pilates a few times, but the woman kept telling us that if we had never done Pilates before, we should go to the orientation. Sugar and I finally got our act together and did the orientation. Holy Crap. I clearly have been doing everything wrong in the classes, because after being shown how to breathe correctly and hold and release etc, I felt everything. Everything. My muscles actually shook throughout the session and that burning pain (the good kind) was there immediately afterwards.

      I did not go to the launch on Saturday night and instead, went over to Special K for wine.
      So, I have a little secret... I normally don’t drink red wine because for some reason it gives me heart burn and so I’ve always just stayed away from it. However, last Monday night I drank red wine. 2 bottles actually (not on my own, mind you) and I didn’t have one stitch of heart burn. In fact I really loved it. I made a note of the bottles and their makes that James Bond had pulled out for us and have decided to rethink my wine drinking. I could actually get quite used to it. I decided to try red wine again and Special K and I finished off a bottle rather quickly. It was delicious and I like red wine far more than white wine now.
      The only downer of red wine? The fact that it stains your teeth. There I am sitting with my mate, feeling all very sophisticated drinking this lush glass, when I caught a glimpse of my teeth... Now this happened last Monday night too. Mortifying. Not exactly Colgate Smile material, you know?
      Good God. Did I eat liquorice? Nope.
      Must remember to bring gum next time I drink red wine in male company.

      I also did not go for coffee with Europe Boy after he cancelled on me. I would have had to cancel anyway, I woke up yesterday with incredibly sore muscles, which I presumed was from the Pilates. Yes, to a large extent it was, but I am also getting sick. F*@!
      I hate being sick, especially when my lifestyle has changed into a rather healthy one. I have a tickle in my throat, my head feels like it may explode from the pressure and headache and I am miserable. I didn’t get out of my pyjamas yesterday and just lay around watching TV and making countless cups of fresh ginger, lemon and honey tea.
      I’ve woken up this morning, with no pressure headache, but just a scratchy throat with a pathetic little cough. Argh.
      It’s the change in weather. I always get something like this the day before the weather changes. I swear, I could be a weather beacon. Trust me, I wouldn't have a problem with Derek Van Dam (e-TV's weather guy) phoning me up for tips ;-)
      Today, the wind is howling and nippy even though the sun is shining.
      I am in bed under my duvet with my muesli and laptop at the moment.

      PS> I’ve never been so excited for Wednesday. Pay Day. No more end-of-the-month salticrax for me anymore.

      Friday, February 20, 2009

      Inspiration comes in all forms

      I am completely dead from gym. Spinning yesterday and now an hour today that consisted of cardio and weights.
      Yesterday's spinning class was certainly guilt ridden. Sugar and I arrived early to get a bike, adjust it and so forth. The instructor had her back to us (she was new.) I am quite funny about trainers/instructors etc. I once went to an aerobics class where the instructor was such a fatty that it was off putting. Don't be shouting out: "1, 2, 3, 4" and make us sweat our asses off when you look like that. I want you to be my inspiration, not make me feel hopeless.
      Anyway, so there was our new instructor wearing cycle shorts. Now, at the risk of sounding funny...she was skinny, had lovely legs, toned arms etc. Perfect and inspiring.
      She finally turned around and I could not believe my eyes. Perfect little body with a 7 month stomach. I have never felt so guilty. She's pregnant, taking a spinning class and there I am huffing and puffing away with a tummy that has no excuse, really. Now that was inspiration.
      She killed us.
      So today I am walking really strangely and look like an 86 year old, not a 26 year old.

      My weekend consists of:
      A movie tonight...going to watch He's Just NOT That Into You. I've been dying to see this movie! I have the book, but I've never finished reading it and I think it can certainly help in a lot of areas - haha!
      Pilates tomorrow.
      I'm hoping to go to the A1 GP, but the verdict is still out on that one.
      I'm going to a launch on Saturday evening and possibly jolling afterwards.
      Sunday...gym (missed Mon and Tues) so Sugar and I are determined to make our 5 x a week schedule. I have a goal and I'm sticking to it, for once and for all.
      Oh yes...and I have a coffee with Europe Boy. We shall see though... I don't really know what to think actually... um... My mates are telling me go, but I don't know if I should. I met him at a friends birthday very briefly and was pleasantly surprised to get an email from him on Monday. Why not, right?
      Have a good one!! xx

      Thursday, February 19, 2009

      Good times

      I went to the opening of exclusive new 5-Star International Radisson SAS Hotel Sandton. This launch was absolutely fantastic and they seriously spared no expense whatsoever.
      We were all taken to the 12th floor where speeches were made, Moet champagne flowed and photographers flash bulbs were over excited!

      We could help ourselves to the Moet Champagne Dress

      The hotel really is quite exquisite in decor, space and pure luxury.
      Special K and I bumped into Marcus Brewster, who leaned in as if he had a secret that could freeze time and said:
      “Blondie, if you go one floor up, they have lobster and more Moet.” pointing at my empty flute, “And if you go down one floor the spa is there with a little goody bag!”
      Oh what to do; what to do? LOL

      The 13th floor was sensational. I have NEVER seen a spread of food like that in my life. Chefs were making fresh pasta and other dishes from the ingredients set out. One of the things that Special K and I wanted to take home was a huge whole uncut cheese, that had been hollowed out and filled with grated parmesan cheese. Presentation was incredible!! There was a Thai section, antipasti section with artichokes, cold pasta dishes and various types of olives and sundried tomatos. The Seafood section (my favourite) had some of the most delicious sushi I have ever tasted, there were oysters and crab, lobster and crayfish, melt in your mouth salmon, mini mussle pots.

      This was the chef that prepared my lobster!

      HEAVEN. I believe there was a dessert table, but I didn’t look too hard for it. I wanted to (being president of the sweet tooth society and all that) but I am on a Get-Thin-Mission.

      We finally got to go down to the 11th floor and that beautiful aromatherapy smell wafted into our nostrils. Special K and I both turned to each other and dreamily said: “Ah, the smell!”
      I hope heaven looks like this spa. It is so incredible and I can honestly say I have never seen anything like this! I have booked for after pay day and Special K told me she’s going to be doing a lot of hinting considering their anniversary is coming up.

      We went back upstairs, goody bag in hand and spoke to various people, that we (sadly) only ever see at these types of functions. It was incredibly hot inside and while I love heat, when it starts to get too hot, my body can’t handle it! I started to feel really faint and my skin was prickling.
      Special K took one look at me and agreed that we should leave. She got me to the car and put the air con on full blast. She just knows. As soon as I started to cool down, I started to feel better.

      Today I’m going to a spinning class at 1pm.

      I've also been getting messages from Europe Boy asking me for a lunch or coffee... I don't know. Perhaps I should just go for a coffee. I just don't know anymore.