Adopt a Granny

I want to adopt her as my granny. I want to bottle her and sell her. I'm talking about this lovely, FEISTY 69 year old (love her age) that works at the company I work at in the mornings (thank you flexi-hours.)
She is modern but old school and takes no nonsense let me tell you, but she is just full of fun and doesn't miss a beat. She knows exactly what is going on with who, but has avoided being labelled as a busy body. I love that she isn't afraid to say what she thinks. It's wonderful. She would be a script writers dream for any movie with her one liners and sharp remarks.
She has this cackle that is so wicked that every time I hear it, I can't help but laugh too. Completely contagious. My God she is a feisty little thing. I just adore her.
The stories she has told me have made me, the 26 year old with a few stories of my own, blush. Good grief.

She lives in a retirement village and tells me about her garden that she is totally in love with and how all the old grandpa's always come by to visit and she's not interested. I told her that she just can't help it if she's a little minx.
"Oooh I'm not."
"Yes you are. Clearly you are, if you are getting all those old mens blood pressure up! You little vixen you!"
and out comes her contagious cackle.

She has a better social life than I do and is constantly going out for dinners and dancing and cups of tea at her other friends in the retirement village. She goes for walks and adores shoes. I guess some things never change in that girly department.

She told me a story about her late second husband that I cannot not laugh at when I think about it. She met him in her 50's after her divorce and as they started dating, she said she was nervous to enter the bedroom. *As she is telling me this, she raises her eyebrows up and down* and so she would put it off. Eventually one night, she told him that she didn't know where he'd been so he had better not think about doing anything without protection. She calls condoms French Letters. Bless.
So out came the French Letters and when she saw them, she started laughing.
"Why on earth do you have Rough Riders? Oh no... you can turn those inside out and give yourself a thrill!"

I just wish I could record the way she explains stories. She has a no-nonsense shrill voice with a cheeky manner and yet she has unbelievable charm. When I first met her I was petrified. On my first day that I walked into the office she came out and demanded: "And? Who are you and what are you doing here?"
Talk about intimidating.

I love her to pieces. She makes me look forward to coming into work each morning. What a character!

She adores watching this new season of Strictly Come Dancing on BBC and if you could hear her perve over the male dancers, well, I blush almost every day.
I constantly tease her about it and how she had better keep her blood pressure medication on stand-by and her response is always classic: "Oh Blondie, I'm not dead you know. My eye sight is just fine to look at the "menu", thank you very much! Oh you should should see the way he moves those hips ... Oooooh ... what a thrill!"

I want to gobble her up she is just too cute.

Talking to her makes me really miss my Gran too.

I've always hated the idea of getting old and wrinkly, but she makes me look forward to it. There is something about her and what a little gem she is.

No pain; no gain....apparently

Man oh man. I try, I really do. I just can't seem to get back into the blogging lifestyle, but if you wanna bear with me, then there will be a post every now and then. Might as well be honest about it.

News? Plenty.
I have moved into my little matchbox and I adore it. I had no problems of settling in and it felt like home immediately. It's my little haven that I can relax in and it is just super cosy.
I will have to take photo's and post them one day.

I haven't had a housewarming because every weekend is pretty much out. I have so much going on. I looked at my calendar the other day and the first weekend that I will have to myself is the first weekend of November. Hectic.

This weekend I am going to Sin City for Spring Break. I have never been...to Spring Break, I mean. Apparently it's one massive concert/party vibe in the evening and during the day you chill out at Valley of the Waves sun-tanning and playing with the water slides. Should be good.

European Boy and I are awesome. I'm madly in love, really happy and I'm excited...he's taking me away to Mauritius in November. Yes. It's always been a dream of mine to go to a Tropical island. I am getting a dream come true. I can't wait for the Turquoise waters, white sandy beaches and plenty of sunshine, snorkelling, pina coladas and utter relaxation.

Have you noticed how all the things that are coming up involve something that I shudder about.
B-I-K-I-N-I.
I actually have to go bikini shopping today because I don't know what has happened to mine. I swear there have to be "Moving Gremlins" ... so many of my things have disappeared from the move. Odd.

Why couldn't I have stuck to my winter gym routine so that I wouldn't be a whale...a lily white one to be exact? Oh wait. I got sick in winter and couldn't continue the gym routine. Bloody hell.

I am officially back though. I have moved to a new gym that is 5 minutes from my house. NO EXCUSES. I've started doing Spinning Classes at... wait for it ... 05:15. Yes. In the morning.
I know!!

I also bumped into my old personal Trainer. The gentle GIANT. He has muscles on top of muscles and looks like a mean muscle machine, but he is the gentlest, kindest, sweetest man. I went to him about 4 years ago for a month and he transformed my body (not completely, but for 1 month it was remarkable) however, he then moved to another gym and I couldn't continue with him.
I was so thrilled to see him. So now I am going to him every other day at 6am for an hour session.

I am determined to have a toned body. I'm sick of complaining about it. I've started eating right and exercising and I am certainly going to give myself a proper shot.
Why do I feel like I've heard this all before?
Oh yes. I try this each year. Here is hoping that it will actually work. Hell, if I can stop smoking cold turkey, then I surely have enough willpower to do this. Hell, if I have enough will power to be on the seat of the bicyle at 05:15 then I don't know.

Wish me luck.

Now for the part that I have really been putting off thinking about, let alone writing about.

The De-fuzzing Down There.
I wish I could shave - tried that - itched like hell when it grew back. Just saying. TMI? Sorry.
I'm allergic to hair removal creams. I found out the fun, hard way.
So what other option do I have?
To pour gooey hot stuff all over and rip the &*%$#@! out of me. Awesome.

Guess what I have scheduled at 2pm today? YAY for me!! Not only do I have to get into a ... *shudder* .... bikini... *shudder*.... this weekend but I also really don't want to look like the chick from Scary Movie ... you know the scene where he needs a weed-whacker. Nice.

I am not really a fan of pain. Never have been. So there's that and the fact that some stranger (I don't care that she has seen hundreds and does this all the time or the fact that she is female) is going to part my legs and wax me.
I mean, is there a code out there like there is for doctors and pyschiatrists? Thou shalt not discuss clients at weekend parties?
God I hope so.
I mean I don't know how that topic could ever come up, but hey...stranger things have happened. Right?
Beautician to mates: "Damn - you should have seen this one cookie I was waxing...."
Ok. That would be weird. I don't know if I would like to hear that from my beautician friends.

I really cannot believe that at 2pm today Im going to be gripping the side of the bed and biting pillows. Hopefully the bikini shopping won't be as painful.

Wish me luck.

I'm gonna brush that move right out of the colour charts

It's called a toothbrush. Use it. Preferably with toothpaste. I'm not even going to push it when it comes to flossing and mouth wash.
I have never come across more halitosis in one day in my life. Every. single. person I met had halitosis. It was so bad that I nearly gagged, had to take a few steps back, hold my breath and turn my head as if I was fascinated with something that was to my left, while still trying to seem as if I was listening to what they were saying.
I had a business meeting with a man who probably had small animals die in his mouth. That one was a little trickier to try and avoid. Especially when I had to lean in to see the document he had.
I then had to go to a few stores and of course I needed help in each store. Ok, let me be exact. There 5 stores. 5 salesmen. All 5 had terrible breath.

I know that some people have conditions, but I also know that it is impossible for me to encounter 6 men on one day.
No. Brush, floss, gargle. Do it.
How do these people get laid?

Just a thought.

In other news and I know I'm getting annoying now, but seriously, I am tingling I am so excited. I cannot WAIT to move. This weekend, I am sanding and staining some furniture I have had in storage. On Monday we paint my apartment - oh good grief - that reminds me, I still haven't chosen a colour. Seriously. How many bloody natural colours can there be? There is cloud white, vanilla white, off white, cream white, angelic white, cognac cream, Grecian White, Pearl...the list goes on and on. I am undecided between a neutral colour called Jasmine something or other; Light Clay or Velvet Cream.
No. You can't choose from the names alone, other wise I would have an apartment that is painted in colours called: Petite and Perfect (there really is a colour called that AND it's all about positive affirmation, so if my apartment was petite and perfect perhaps I could be too ) or it would be Fairy Dust or Sugar Shack or the Passion Pit. Yes. These are all legit colours.
I am useless. I need someone to close their eyes and wiggle their finger over the page with the colours I've chosen and pick one.
Anyway - so on Monday, the colour will be picked and on my wall and then on Tuesday SPRING DAY, I will move all my furniture in. I have so many different furniture companies coming through and I hope they all arrive before 3pm.
I cannot wait. I seriously cannot wait.

PS> 2 and a half months of no smoking and going strong. Feel fab!

I am going to be a toned and skinny ROCK STAR!

I'm starting a band. I'm preparing myself for the rockstar life that I know will be mine soon. I'm going to have to start getting used to the adoring fans, the throwing of underwear and the cramped hands from all the autograph signing.
I know it will be tough on the road, but *sigh* someone's gotta do it.
I played Guitar Hero and the drum kit for Guitar Hero like a rockstar. After every song the TV screen yelled out: YOU ROCK!!
I know, I know. Why be modest when you are pure brilliance?
Hahahahahaha!

What a jol! On Saturday night European Boy and I went over to the helicopter buddies for pizza and Guitar Hero. It was ridiculous how funny everyone is when they play. People stick their tongues out, their brows furrow, they squint their eyes and some even stop breathing...all in concentration. Oh and heaven help you if you dare cross in front of the TV screen. Lesson learnt ;-)
We had someone on the mic singing, someone on bass, someone on the guitar and someone on drums. It was very "rock and roll." I loved it.




In other news. Special K is killing me. I know that I will thank her but in the mean time I curse her, I huff and puff and I glare at her with the "why do you hate me so much?" sentiment.
According to her (and I quote): "By the time I am finished with you, Blondie, I will be able to crack eggs on your ass!"
She is my personal trainer, dietician and support system to lose 12 kgs and become toned and fabulous.
I have had enough. Sure, I lost a lot of weight from no emotional eating, going to gym etc... but it's not enough and I feel like I should be in my prime especially being in my mid twenties. The reality is, I'm not getting any younger and each second that passes, maintaining a figure gets harder and harder. I need to get a figure first and then try to maintain it.
I am a little scared to be honest and I'm nervous, because it is a lot of dedication and committment, but I am motivated and I really wanna do this. If I can stop smoking cold turkey after a pack a day for 8 years, then I am stronger than I think and have amazing will power to do anything I set my mind to.
I sound like I'm trying to convince myself more than you. You're probably right. Baby steps.
I have started a food journal, which actually really helps. I've read in Shape Magazine and other articles etc that keeping a food journal helps. I never really "got that" until now. I also train so hard at gym that the idea of putting a cheeseburger in my mouth afterwards kind of makes me feel like all that gym would have been a waste, so why bother.
I really want to do this properly, once and for all...so that I can maintain it. I'm doing this for myself and yes, let's be honest, my career too. Let's see how it goes. :-)

A week and a bit then and you want me to pay HOW MUCH??

OMG. I had a beautiful little wake up call. So did my bank balance. Ha! Balance means you are actually savvy with money and have savings and stuff.

As excited as I am to be moving and thankfully I have a lot of stuff in storage, I still need to get a whole lot of new things. I ordered my cuppaccino suede L-shape couch and my dark wood furniture. I bought the matching kettle and toaster in it's silver finish. I bought the silver, mirrored microwave and other kitchen items. I expected these to be somewhat costly.
I did not expect these things to be expensive:
Bath sheets, hand towels, curtains and blinds, linen, duvet covers, pillow cases etc.
I did not choose Egyptian cotton with thread count blah blah blah ... I got ordinary white duvet covers and pillow cases..... from Sheet Street.
I did not budget for these things being so expensive. Imagine my surprise when you're taking items for R89 and R199 etc and handing them over to get a final bill of R1895.99. Say what???
It just goes to show that the small things really can add up.

It's getting closer now and I can't wait. So much to do. I also am a hoarder. I have tried over the years to change that and I have given up...given in? to the fact that it's never going to change. However, it has to change because my new apartment is so tiny that if anything is out of place or stacked up the place will look like a tornado ripped through it.
I have collected and built up so many things that there is no way I have space for everything.
I heard what you said. So be brutal and chuck things out. Surely you don't need everything.
How can you swear at me like that?
I do need everything and I can't bare to throw things away in case I may need it down the line. Oh good grief. This is why I need my girlfriends. We need to create my own version of The Style Networks: Clean House

All I know is that it's a week and a bit and then I have my independance back. I also know that I have a bottle of Moet champagne that is eagerly awaiting the move too.

Changes ...

Can you smell it? Can you feel it?

Ok maybe not entirely, but you know that Spring is just around the corner. Alright, to be perfectly honest all I can really feel is how dry and frizzy my hair is, how those static shocks hurt and how dry my skin is that I look half woman-half reptile.

I have noticed how some trees are starting to blossom and how the weather is shyly warming up. I had 2 braai's this weekend and I didn't have to pull on a jersey once.

There are two things that I always freak out about though.

a) I am so lily white that I may blind anyone who isn't wearing sunglasses.

b) those layers of clothes come off to expose the layer of "blubber" I fondly called my layer of warmth.

There would actually normally be 3 things ... the third would have been that I would need an industrial strength razor to deforest my legs because *again* I fondly called them my "layer of warmth home grown stockings."

My legs have been silky smooth all.winter.long. Thanks to my relationship with European Boy. 'Nuff said.

OK no wait. They haven't been silky smooth all.winter.long. They have been silky smooth all for a few hours after I've shaved them (I'm not a fan of waxing. My legs, that is. Go figure) until I got cold, got goosebumps and then instantly had chicken flesh legs. God it pisses me off.

I have a LOT of changes coming up. All happening ON Spring Day.

I am moving into my fabulous, tiny bachelorette pad that has a little garden. I love gardens and while this may be tiny, I can't wait to sit on the patio in the sunshine and watch the birds.

Good grief. I sound like I'm 80. LOL

I can't wait to decorate and just have MY OWN space. I adore my family and I'm so grateful that I was able to move back 8 months ago after the breakup, but I really do need my independance and after running my own household for 4 years (my way) it has been difficult going back to living under "mom and dad's house rules."

An element of my job is also changing on the 01 September which is bitter sweet. It is exciting and sad at the same time. It's going to be quite an adjustment.

These are a few things that I'm looking forward to about summer:

Ice tea's and cocktail sundowners with my girlfriends.

Picnics.

Watermelon.

Salads and fruit salads.

Ice cream.

Pool Parties.

Summer dresses and slops.

Bronzed skin.

Cabriolets.

Sunsets.

Leaving my hair to dry naturally because this time the haridryer will be too hot, instead of welcoming! LOL.

A green city again. I'm over the drab brown.

The smell of suntan lotion.

I can't wait.

RIP

So yes Anonymous, my blog has become boring and has grown a fair amount of cobwebs, but shitloads has been happening. Twitter is easier. Just saying.

Yesterday was officially some "me time" ... something that I took for granted, never appreciated and now that I never get any, I miss it.
I finally had some time off, so I decided to go and get my hair done. Boy did it need it. My regrowth was so bad I was starting to look like Charlize Theron in Monster. I hate regrowth. It doesn't matter how clean your hair is; you still look like you haven't washed it in weeks. I sat in the chair excited for my hairdresser to make me blonde and beautiful. I love getting my hair done. I especially love my hair being washed and the head massages I get at the basin and on the chair for treatments. Pure Bliss. Why oh why though can I NEVER get my hair to look exactly the same as they did it? I buy the products they use, I have my life saving what-would-I-do-without-it ghd hair straightner and yet it never looks as sleek and professional?
Anyway...I'm just setting the scene. It's a Saturday, the salon is crazy busy and while I'm getting the head massage my phone starts to ring. I ignore it. I felt strange doing so and put it down o the fact that I'm not used to switching off and having "me time."
It rang again. I left it.

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore...my curiosity was strong and my gut feeling stronger. It was Special K.
Special K and I have a very strong bond. I have heard Oscar winning performances from her and it hasn't fooled me. I know when she is upset.
"Hi Blondie!"
"Hi. What's wrong?"
"Babe. I have some bad news. Are you sitting down?"
"Oh my God. What? You're freaking me out. What is it?"
She went on to tell me the news. I think the world stood still. Hair dryers became mute in my world, people froze in time and my heart sank.
A friend of ours had died that morning. The Cancer took our 32 year old amazing friend. He had fought for so long, had painful chemo sessions, operations and..... my heart broke. My heart broke even more for his fiance. I can't imagine what she must be going through.
We only find out a week prior that there was no hope anymore. That we would be lucky to have him in our lives until September. I have been battling with that news the whole week and to get that call from Special K broke me.
I could NOT stop crying at Jeauval. I felt mildly embarrassed because people were staring and mumbling to each other if I was OK. Strange how very few people came over to ask me. I could hear everyone talking and muttering, but it was like I had this invisible force field around me. Odd thing to notice too. I know.
They curled my hair and made me beautiful, but my face was red and blotchy with grey traces of mascara streaming down. My poor hairdresser gave me a serviette and a hug and I struggled to pull myself together.

I felt selfish too for internalizing this and making it about me....not entirely, but I hope you know what I mean when I say this.
It hit me really hard because he was diagnosed with the same cancer I was 3 months. The only difference? I caught mine early, had it cut out and now watch myself life a hawk. He was not so lucky.

RIP my wonderful, funny, warm, amazing friend. I really miss you and I wish I had more of an effort. 13 June 1977 - 01 August 2009.

It sucks that things like this highlight things that should NEVER be taken for granted. The special people in your life, life itself and always appreciating the things we have.

I don't really know what to say. I am crying typing this and I think I'm gonna stop now.

321...split personalities.

This is my 321 post. I guess it's not really a special significant number, I just liked that it was 3-2-1.
Random. I know.

I have been one complete yo-yo of late. It's like the schizo personalities have finally taken over. Or at least just one, other than me, Blondie.
Shutup.
You shutup.
See?

One part of me has been completely sane and the other part of me has gone insane.
This week I decided that since the no smoking was going really well (oh and I'm relieved the other personality doesn't like smoking either...something we're in sync with) that I would up it a notch and try and get back into eating well and my regular exercise routine with my mate, Sugar.
Sure, I was sick and had early meetings etc, but there really is no excuse now. Especially with Spring looming. And speaking of, oh my goodness, I'm excited for Winter to hibernate. I can't take the static shocks any more, and my jokes of: "It's the electricity between us" and "Did you feel that? We have a spark!" when I touch people and shock the shit out them is losing it's humour. The static frizz that's called my hair and the scaly legs that no amount of exfoliating or body butter helps is driving me nuts. I also can't handle having to put sunglasses on everytime I undress and see my naked lily white body.
And that would be lumpy body. Where did that cellulite come from? Is it an age thing or was it that extra helping of pasta Alfredo in the cold weather?
Hell no.
Gym it is. At 7am when it's been 5 degrees.
Yes. I know.
Desperate measures my friends. Sugar has also turned into quite the drill sergeant too.
I will sweat my ass off on the spinning bike or while I'm doing weights, whatever and then straight after gym, evil; unhealthy personality kicks in and craves cheeseburgers and chips (with vinegar) or chocolates. Mainly chocolates.
Bar Ones, Lunch Bars, Kit-Kats, Top Deck slabs, Tex bars, oh my, you name it, it's been devoured.
It's disgusting.
WTF? I mean seriously. You'd think that after all the torture I put myself through, I'd feel all "rah-rah-let's go!" and opt for a health sandwich or salad. Nope. "Hand me that chocolate bar. Now!" and "Yes please. I'd love that extra slice on cheesecake dribbled with strawberries!" come out of my mouth.
This horrible unhealthy personality is strong. She almost always wins.

Must find a way to banish her and quick before Spring comes around and lumpy, lily-white Blondie here has to take off the layers of clothes we've been hiding under.

OMG. See that above? I just referred to myself as "we."
This is not good.

In other news: I found an apartment. I am so bloody excited that I turned instantly into the jumping up and down, squealing girl from those American Teen Movies. I get to do house shopping now and I love house shopping. I love looking for furniture and photo frames and quirky salt and pepper shakers etc. Sigh. This is exciting.

I'm BACK!!.... sort of....

Wow. I'm super embarrassed. I haven't blogged in over a month. That is disgusting.

I have been ridiculously busy and haven't had much time to blog. I blame Twitter, which has kind of taken over really, because it's like microblogging. I can "blog" automatically as to what is happening, rather than sitting down and trying to write everything thats been going on in one piece.
I'm making terrible excuses aren't I?
I'm sorry.

I am still apartment hunting. I am ready to gargle with glass, put toothpicks through my eyeballs...ANYTHING, to find the perfect place.
Perhaps I am a cheapskate, but I am struggling to find something in my price range. I just cannot afford anything more. That doesn't mean, however, that I will accept living in a flea, cockroach-infested, dangerous and ridiculously small place.

The search is driving me crazy though. Seriously.

Let me give you an idea. I have tried Private Properties, Gumtree, every other search site available....I'll be here forever if I have to name them all...but feel free to send me more... I have tried Fourways Review and Sandton Chronicle.
Get the idea?

I have also been really busy career wise. It's strange though, because I feel like I am in a career rut. I feel like I should be doing more in my line of work and challenging myself more and yet I'm not quite sure what to do. LOL. I'm sure that it's just a phase. Let's hope so.

I am also madly in love. I haven't felt "this" before either. It's scary. A good scary. I am ridiculously happy; I can't wipe the silly grin off my face and I get butterflies everytime I think about him or see him. Today is actually our 3 months together (officially.)
I've never been treated like this before and I could kick myself actually. Every woman deserves to be treated like a queen. No settling, no excuses and no compromises. Why do we allow men to treat us badly? I look at my friends and my sister...I expect the men they are with to treat them like gold and I will say as much....I don't know why I never applied that to myself.
I can only say this because of the awful experience I went through. So everything for a reason, no regrets and huge lessons learnt. I can only appreciate the good, because I experienced the bad.

What else has been happening? Ooooh a BIGGIE! I have quit smoking. Today is actually Day 15 of no smoking, not one drag. Nothing. I have also done this cold turkey and to be completely honest, I have gobsmacked MYSELF. It's not that I didn't think I could do it; but at the same time, I didn't! LOL. Does that make any sense whatsoever?

I'm totally proud of myself. It also wasn't planned. This is what happened. After my Cancer scare, I knew that I needed to quit. I'd also been wanting to quit for a while, but in all honesty, I really enjoyed smoking for the social aspects and having something to do when I was bored etc etc...all the excuses under the sun. I had been saying for ages that I was going to quit...next month...next week....next Monday and so it went. I also got one hell of a fright when I actually worked out how long I have been smoking for. I don't know why (in my mind) I thought I had only been smoking for "two years"...I've been saying that forever. I've actually been smoking since 2001. A box of 2o a day for 8 years. On weekends (with alcohol) 2 boxes in a night. DISGUSTING.

On Sunday 14th June I had half a cig. Half a cig, because I just really didn't enjoy the taste of it. Perhaps it's because I had smoked nearly 2 boxes the Saturday night before with all the alcohol I consumed (haha) but I just didn't enjoy it. I stubbed it out and didn't smoke for the rest of the evening. That Monday morning I woke up and didn't even think about a cigarette. I went for breakfast and a movie with EB and when it was time for me to go to work it hit me that I hadn't had a single cigarette. I wish I could say that I was struck by an angel singing "Aaaaah" epiphany, but something inside me and inside my mind just snapped. It's like my mind shifted and I just decided to stop or at least to see if I could. Hours turned into days and weeks. I can't even use a glass of wine as an excuse because while the craving is strongest when I'm drinking a cocktail, it's so manageable.

I almost feel guilty because I know that stopping smoking is supposed to be horrific and a major struggle for people, but I have found it relatively easy. I'm not going to lie and say that I haven't struggled, because I have and I've eaten SHITLOADS of sour worms, but it hasn't been as hectic as I was expecting. I was expecting to crawl the walls, to have night sweats, to see everything as cigarettes and to be a royal bitch to anything that moved, but it just wasn't the case. It hasn't been that awful and perhaps it really and truly is ALL IN THE MIND.

Man I hate cliches, but you can't fault them.

I have become one of those ex smokers. I am annoying. I'll admit it. I can't handle the smell of smoke now. It freaks me out, it makes me sneeze and I actually hate waking up in the morning (if I've been in a smokey place) smelling of smoke. My hair and my clothes STINK of it and I just wonder WHY I never noticed it before. I am noticing that I can smell my perfume, that my clothes still smell like Sta-soft hours after I've had them on and my taste has changed. Everything is tasting delicious. I had a curry at Bukhara in Cape Town on Friday night and the spices were even better than I ever remember.

The downside? I got sick the day after I stopped smoking. It was a combination of this God-awful strain of Flu and my sinuses acting up from...get this...the lack of smoking. My doctor explained that when you stop smoking, the hairs in your nose and lungs start to move and shake off the tar, nicotine or whatever gunk it is. It starts to come up (this is attractive) and so people cough, blow their noses and so forth... The perception is: "I was healthier when I smoked!" but it's not actually the case...if you can bare with it for a few weeks, you'll realise your body is just rejuvinating and that you're getting healthy...damn cliches....you have to get worse to get better. Most people can't stand it and so they just start smoking again.

Screw that idea....I'm not going to go through this sneezing, coughing, sinus-y mission to pick up a cigarette and then have to go through it AGAIN when I wanna stop smoking AGAIN! I'm going to go through this ONCE. Sure, it hasn't been as difficult as I expected it to be, but with that said, it's still been a struggle (a personal one) and I would be so F*%`^ed off with myself if I crumbled and had a drag. Just saying.

So, yes. Day 15. Here's hoping that it long continues.

I'm going to do my best to blog more often. I mean look at this essay...woah...sorry for the eyeball strain! It's just that I don't really have as much time as I used to have. I wont promise, but I will try! :-)

Girls Only.

I am bloated, super sensitive, having a fat ugly day, a bad hair day, I feel like I've re-entered puberty as far as the pimple zone goes and all of this because I'm PMSing.
Seriously. It's days like this that I let down the female team by saying: I hate being a woman. Sometimes.

Why do us woman have to go through so much shit. Periods, period cramps, giving birth, getting fat from that (I think guys should go through all the sympathy pains...their stomachs should swell-no the beer belly doesn't count, they should go through the pain etc...) we're more prone to bladder infections, we go through menopause etc...etc...etc....
It's rubbish. Absolute rubbish.
I feel like having a feet stomping temper tantrum, screaming into a pillow, having a good cry and then stuffing myself with chocolate.

Can you tell I'm in a bad mood?

In other news, I did go on a major shopping spree (OK, I do love being a woman.) It was a necessity because I needed new winter clothes. I don't know what happened to my winter things...did they get lost when I moved out of the ex? Are they stuck (by mistake) in storage with my kettle and cutlery?
I literally had a few coats and that was it. I got long sleeve shirts and tops, black pants, a fluffy robe and pair of slippers that I live in now. I don't actually want to leave the house and I find myself forcing myself to accept social invitations just in case I become one of those woman who never gets out of her pajamas and becomes severly obese.

I got 2 pairs of gorgeous black stilettos. 1 pair that has a pointed toe and 1 pair that has a rounded toe. Essential I tell you. OK, I told myself that, when I handed over my debit card for the hundredth time. I was surprised I didn't have blisters on my fingers from the number of times I had to punch in my PIN code.
Pay day (25th of each month) is a beautiful thing on the actual day and for the next 5 or 6 days. By the time the 1st of each month roles round I am broke again. Not entirely, but you get the idea.
However, I am still going to stand by the point that that shopping excursion was absolutely necessary. I can't be catching a cold now so that I wouldn't be able to work for the next salary. I needed those winter clothes...shoes, robes and slippers included. In my industry it's no work; no pay, so you see? Thank you Miss Excuses. You're much nicer than Mr. Murphy.

PS> I am starting to get alarmingly obsessed with vanilla tea. I use the word "alarmingly" because I find myself getting upset when restaurants don't serve vanilla tea. That isn't normal. I'm putting it down to the PMS week and will have to monitor myself closely the week after that. I'll keep you posted....or just keep checking the headlines for Crazy Girl arrested for assaulting Restaurant manager for not stocking Vanilla Tea.