It's the weekend baby!!

Onwards and Upwards completely. Thank you for your loving, suportive words!

I am not going to be a little pity party and life does go on... So I'm being positive and kind of ignoring it. Perhaps it's weird for some people, but it's my coping mechanism right now. I'm not sweeping anything under the carpet, but I just don't want to curl into a mess of a ball.

Today I had my make-up done for a TV shoot. I find it super relaxing having make up done. I would go as far as saying that I sometimes prefer it to a massage. Sacriledge I'm sure. I'm kinda glad the face is done because tonight I plan to have a party. Shit, why not? I need to knock back a cosmo or two and just enjoy myself with my friends Sugar, Special K and EB. I'm really looking forward to it and even bought a dress for the occasion. A dress that's not black. Another first. It's this deep purple colour and it's sexy. Yes!!

I also went underwear shopping today. I decided that the boring cotton undies and t-shirt bras are just not going to cut it anymore. I'm over being boring and being single certainly has given me something to think about. Even if no one sees it, I want to know that sexy lace is going on underneath my jeans and t-shirt. I bought a wonderbra that is so WONDERful I can't believe I never had one before. Yes. I am apparently slow. If I say so myself with the wonderful work that is Wonderbra...these puppies are swell. Excuse the pun.
Anyway, so you know it's bad when the lady at the underwear store remembers me and says: "Eish! It's been looong neh?"
Um. Great. Thanks for the update and for remembering. That isn't uncomfortable at all. WTF?
She even threw in a pair of panties with a wink. I couldn't wait to get out of there.

Have a wicked weekend xx

Onwards and Upwards

Right so... If you haven't seen the movie "Seven Pounds" on circuit at the moment, with Will Smith, YOU HAVE TO! Be prepared to cry...alot...but MY GOD...what a movie! I haven't seen something that thought and emotion prevoking in years.

Tonight is certainly going to be interesting. Sugar is performing in an event with her band and I am going to support her...thing is, my ex is putting on the event. I haven't seen him since our break up. Oh, did I mention he has a new girlfriend?
Anyway... He can't affect me anymore, onwards and upwards. I am excited to see her perform live and I'm going to have fun with my friends. Special K, Bambi and I are going through to support her. European Boy is coming through too with all of Sugars friends...that should be interesting. Haha.

Oh and drum roll please. I have lost 7 kgs. Yes I have. All thanks to no more emotional/comfort eating, my gym routine and a far healthier lifestyle and eating habit! Gosh I'm chuffed!
It's weird though, because I can feel that I'm lighter, the scale certainly says as much but I don't really see it. Perhaps that's because this body is with me all the time that it's like: "Oh, you again!" LOL

Life is positive.

Yes She Can!

Apologies for Friday. I literally LOST IT and I wrote in the very thick of my emotions, which strangely enough was rather comforting to get out.

I'm much better now. I know this may seem a little "bi-polar" from one post to another but...
I have decided that I am going to change my attitude to things. Is this going to be easy? Nope, but I have to do this for my own sanity.

I am going to be positive from hereon out and try my hardest to not let things affect me. Yes, the stories will come, but instead of being sucked into them and sinking into a deep- hard-to-get-out-of-black-hole, I'm going to try and not let them affect me, by remembering that I left for a very good reason and that I've done the right thing. These stories affirm things for me.

I am going to focus on my future that I just know is going to be bright - positivity, you see? I'm going to focus on my dreams, my goals and I'm going to surround myself with amazing, true human beings.

One day at a time.

I had a fun weekend. I went to a very sophisticated dinner party on Friday night. I was invited by my dear gay friend and his boyfriend.
I think I may have just stepped into a Top Billing episode. It was a mansion in Bryanston. A Mansion. I got lost trying to find my way back from the bathroom and had to use the internal intercom system they have in every room.
The cuisine (not food) was exquisite, tasty and would have made Jamie Oliver weep.
Good God - these gay boys are (dare I say) fabulous!
I nearly gave the one guy a very dramatic heart attack when I told him that I love sweet wine like St. Anna. It's lovely and cheap. R20 a bottle I think. R16 in my bottle store ;-)
Apparently, this is not the type of thing you tell a wine connoisseur and collector. He wouldn't have any of it and opened a bottle of fine Australian wine for me. I felt terrible that he had opened up a R500 bottle and didn't drink any. I finished the bottle all on my own. Good grief.
I finally went home at 2am and felt like a million dollars. They loved my hair, my shoes and we discussed our beauty regimes in detail. It was great.

Saturday was spent lounging around watched Janice Dickinson, The Bachelor and The Moment of Truth (these are my guilty pleasures and I really can't get enough.)
I had a Hollywood Themed Birthday party to attend and she had hired a Kareoke Machine. The birthday girl dressed as Tina Turner and gave us the best show with back up dancers and everything.
I had a jol. I dressed as Charlie Chaplin.
Cute, yes. Not so cute when you're driving in the traffic with a drawn on mustache and a bowler hat. I had the sexiest guy sidle up next to me in his car (giving me the look) and as I looked over (ever so seductively - I think) I suddenly remembered what I was wearing and went beetroot red. It was attractive. I'm sure.

I met Jennifer Garner last night for dinner and drinks. Ok, well, I think Mushy Peas looks just like her. What a doll. She is hilarious and fun and an amazing listener and story teller. I literally felt as if I had known her for years, regardless of my stalking her blog. I did gush and I did embarrass myself but then again whats new? It was fantastic to meet the person behind the pseudonym and she is as brilliant and fun as she is in her blog. You know the internet and blogging world can be a funny thing. It's very easy to sit infront of a PC screen and be whoever you want to be, have an alter-ego, hide behind something that is safe and free from judgement or whatever. Just ask most peadophiles. It could have been one of those weird moments where you're sitting there going: Dude! How is it possible for someone to be so cool and then you meet them and it's literally a case of 'Oh shit! Who IS this person? What are we going to talk about?'
I've had that before on an email chat with someone I was doing business with. He was witty and hilarious and confident and when I actually met him he was this introverted guy who couldn't string two sentences together orally.
I must say meeting Peas was fabulous. I reckon that date 2 is a must and will probably involve more alcohol (we were trying to be polite...that, and that I didn't want her to think I would take advantage. Kidding! Ok seriously, we were being responsible adults* knowing we had early starts) and some dance moves that will look like I'm doing the sprinkler and shaking the dice, while Peas will be the bonafide hip hop dancer. You'll be able to tell. Trust me.

I've been up early. Early as in: before the sun has risen. There should be a law against that. As a result I now feel as if I've been awake for so long that it should be home time and not 10am. I don't think another cup of coffee will help. I am yawning and too lazy to cover my mouth. It's attractive, especially after eating a bran muffin. Most people in the office today are just too bright and perky. They're giving me a headache. That shrill: "Goooood Mooorning!!!!!" is ringing out all over the place. It could be one of two things. They either got some last night or their holiday is around the corner. Just saying.
Weird thing is, I'm generally a morning person. The end of the year will do that to you.

OK and some good news (think positive Blogshell) I got a message from the person I've been hoping to hear from regarding my audition, which didn't go as I had hoped. The stress, the nerves, the pressure and the intensity of such a show is overwhelming if you haven't done anything like it before.
They said to me that they have feedback for me, which will be given soon and that there is some work to do and lots of intense dedication to put in before we get there.
Happiness. That's a good thing. It certainly isn't a: Look, this has been fun. Don't call us; we'll call you!
I am more than prepared to put in the hard work and dedication and I relish this opportunity so I am excited that the door is still slightly ajar and not slammed shut. I'm putting positive vibes out there.
This dream of mine just HAS to come true. I have dreamt about this particular thing since I a teen. It was the goal I set for myself in this industry and just the fact that I've come this far is pretty mind blowing.

Right. Coffee machine is calling. So is my bed. We can't have our cake and eat it can we?


* Don't snigger.

Mother City

So...Cape Town was fabulous!! No seriously...I couldn’t have asked for better weather! It has been gorgeous with hardly any wind and a total scorcher! I even managed to get a sligh tan...OK a dress tan, but still.

I stayed in a hotel that made me wish I had had a video camera to show you what I meant. The receptionist at the hotel literally gave me creepy shivers. Think Psycho. He was almost identical to that. You know that really creepy look? The stare where one doesn’t blink and a smirk that makes you think he’ll eat you? He was like THAT!
I got my room key and started to walk around the corner, when I noticed I had turned too quickly and the lifts were further along. The hotel receptionist said in a really creepy, monotone way: “Have you seen the movie Wrong Turn? It’s a horror.” He then chuckled and I literally wanted to get out of there!
I have seen the movie and it freaked me out. I am a baby with horrors anyway. I screamed in Scream and Final Destination, which I don’t think can be classed as horrors. Enough said.
All I wanted was to get into my hotel room and sleep until the next call time. I looked out of the window and instead of seeing ocean, I saw an old eerie stone church. It added to the chill factor.
I was exhausted due to the fact that I been up since 3am to catch my 06h30 flight, and then arrived on set to shoot (my audition was an actual shoot for 3 days –how cool??) at 10h00 and only wrapped at 21h00. The exhaustion definitely helped me pass out quickly without having to think too much about the creepiness, but seriously. It is a great hotel for a thriller/horror movie.

The view of the eerie church.

I have never been so nervous in my life and I put a shit load of pressure on myself. Not great. So stupid of me actually, because thats the worse thing you can do...but hindsight is lovely. It was also my first experience and first time to do something of this proportion; so it was a definite challenge. It made me realise more than ever; that this is what I want to be doing. I fell in love with it. I just hope that they see potential in me and give me an opportunity to put all that I learned into practise. I am anxious now because I don’t actually know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if I will get called back, if I will get the opportunity and if my dream will come true? Everyone is telling me not to get my hopes up and to look at it as a lovely experience. Absolutely to the experience, but as far as getting my hopes up Too late. This is a dream that I cannot explain how much I want it to come true. Imagine going for your dream and not getting it. Crushing, right? Argh. Positivity all the way baby!
I wish I hadn’t been so shaky because it wasn’t a true reflection of what I know I am capable of, but I’m hoping and wishing and praying that there is something in the tapes that will make the Executive Producer love me! LOL

Right, so I now pray and keep visualising and keep thinking positive thoughts. I do believe that what is meant to be will be. I hope this is what’s meant for me. :-)

Hate Hospitals

My mom is in hospital for a Lumber Puncture. I keep saying Lumber Jack. The MRI/MIR (?) scans have come back and she's been admitted into hospital until Sunday. I found out at 2pm and can only see her after 7:30pm.

I'm thinking positively and staying strong for my mom and my family. I'm sure all will be great.

I don't feel like blogging a proper post right now.

Hope your Wednesday is fantabulous!