Changes ...

Can you smell it? Can you feel it?

Ok maybe not entirely, but you know that Spring is just around the corner. Alright, to be perfectly honest all I can really feel is how dry and frizzy my hair is, how those static shocks hurt and how dry my skin is that I look half woman-half reptile.

I have noticed how some trees are starting to blossom and how the weather is shyly warming up. I had 2 braai's this weekend and I didn't have to pull on a jersey once.

There are two things that I always freak out about though.

a) I am so lily white that I may blind anyone who isn't wearing sunglasses.

b) those layers of clothes come off to expose the layer of "blubber" I fondly called my layer of warmth.

There would actually normally be 3 things ... the third would have been that I would need an industrial strength razor to deforest my legs because *again* I fondly called them my "layer of warmth home grown stockings."

My legs have been silky smooth all.winter.long. Thanks to my relationship with European Boy. 'Nuff said.

OK no wait. They haven't been silky smooth all.winter.long. They have been silky smooth all for a few hours after I've shaved them (I'm not a fan of waxing. My legs, that is. Go figure) until I got cold, got goosebumps and then instantly had chicken flesh legs. God it pisses me off.

I have a LOT of changes coming up. All happening ON Spring Day.

I am moving into my fabulous, tiny bachelorette pad that has a little garden. I love gardens and while this may be tiny, I can't wait to sit on the patio in the sunshine and watch the birds.

Good grief. I sound like I'm 80. LOL

I can't wait to decorate and just have MY OWN space. I adore my family and I'm so grateful that I was able to move back 8 months ago after the breakup, but I really do need my independance and after running my own household for 4 years (my way) it has been difficult going back to living under "mom and dad's house rules."

An element of my job is also changing on the 01 September which is bitter sweet. It is exciting and sad at the same time. It's going to be quite an adjustment.

These are a few things that I'm looking forward to about summer:

Ice tea's and cocktail sundowners with my girlfriends.

Picnics.

Watermelon.

Salads and fruit salads.

Ice cream.

Pool Parties.

Summer dresses and slops.

Bronzed skin.

Cabriolets.

Sunsets.

Leaving my hair to dry naturally because this time the haridryer will be too hot, instead of welcoming! LOL.

A green city again. I'm over the drab brown.

The smell of suntan lotion.

I can't wait.

Schizophrenic Blondie... The comedian.

The weather is weird. It's been sunny with freezing wind. Did Mother Nature not get the memo? It's SPRING!
I must admit though, I haven't seen a crisper morning. It's beautiful. I'm sitting on my balcony looking out into the distance. The buildings and trees actually have outlines. There's no blurry haze or smog. It's lovely.

I had a seriously chilled weekend. It was awesome. Lots of braai meat and lots of wine. Sunday was couch potato day. I didn't get out of my pajama's until this morning. In fact, this weekend was so chilled, I was actually boring.
Boring was welcomed into my life with open arms. I embraced it lovingly, but I don't want it hanging around me too much.

Right so, I am interviewing a few comedians this week. Honestly, I'm dreading it. I'm dreading it because I don't know what comes over me. I'll be introduced to the comedian and I automatically become hilarious. I think so anyway. I have no idea why I do this. I am NOT a comedian and yet I suddenly start practising "material" on them. Oh my God, it's is mortifying.
I actually have screaming matches in my head.
Blondie: Shut the fuck up. You. are. not. funny. What is wrong with you?
Blogshell: Hahahahahhaha - oooh wait, let me say this. That will make them drop to the floor in hysteria.
Blondie: Oh my God! You are embarrassing yourself. Seriously. Shut up. Stop moving your tongue. Get on with it.
Blogshell to comedian: So, I have a joke for you..
Blondie interrupts: Seriously? You're not doing this! I can't take another minute of this. Pleeeease!! Stop!
Blogshell, ignoring inner voice: So, 2 snowman are walking in a field. The one snowman says to the other: Dude, you're right! I can also smell carrots! Wahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhaha!!!!
Blondie: I officially divorce myself from you.

The worst part? I kill myself laughing at my own jokes. They're horrible jokes and ironically I only ever remember the horribly BAD ones. I can't remember "cool, awesome, wow -you have-the-best-sense-of-humour-and-you're-such-a-funny-joke-teller" jokes. Noooo. I remember the horrible, cringe worthy ones.
When I say I kill myself laughing...I literally wipe away the tears.
I don't know why I do this when I can visibly see the comedians looking at me and their agents/posse nervously with the look: Did she just escape from a mental asylum?
I cringe at myself, but I am unstoppable!