I'm gonna brush that move right out of the colour charts

It's called a toothbrush. Use it. Preferably with toothpaste. I'm not even going to push it when it comes to flossing and mouth wash.
I have never come across more halitosis in one day in my life. Every. single. person I met had halitosis. It was so bad that I nearly gagged, had to take a few steps back, hold my breath and turn my head as if I was fascinated with something that was to my left, while still trying to seem as if I was listening to what they were saying.
I had a business meeting with a man who probably had small animals die in his mouth. That one was a little trickier to try and avoid. Especially when I had to lean in to see the document he had.
I then had to go to a few stores and of course I needed help in each store. Ok, let me be exact. There 5 stores. 5 salesmen. All 5 had terrible breath.

I know that some people have conditions, but I also know that it is impossible for me to encounter 6 men on one day.
No. Brush, floss, gargle. Do it.
How do these people get laid?

Just a thought.

In other news and I know I'm getting annoying now, but seriously, I am tingling I am so excited. I cannot WAIT to move. This weekend, I am sanding and staining some furniture I have had in storage. On Monday we paint my apartment - oh good grief - that reminds me, I still haven't chosen a colour. Seriously. How many bloody natural colours can there be? There is cloud white, vanilla white, off white, cream white, angelic white, cognac cream, Grecian White, Pearl...the list goes on and on. I am undecided between a neutral colour called Jasmine something or other; Light Clay or Velvet Cream.
No. You can't choose from the names alone, other wise I would have an apartment that is painted in colours called: Petite and Perfect (there really is a colour called that AND it's all about positive affirmation, so if my apartment was petite and perfect perhaps I could be too ) or it would be Fairy Dust or Sugar Shack or the Passion Pit. Yes. These are all legit colours.
I am useless. I need someone to close their eyes and wiggle their finger over the page with the colours I've chosen and pick one.
Anyway - so on Monday, the colour will be picked and on my wall and then on Tuesday SPRING DAY, I will move all my furniture in. I have so many different furniture companies coming through and I hope they all arrive before 3pm.
I cannot wait. I seriously cannot wait.

PS> 2 and a half months of no smoking and going strong. Feel fab!

A week and a bit then and you want me to pay HOW MUCH??

OMG. I had a beautiful little wake up call. So did my bank balance. Ha! Balance means you are actually savvy with money and have savings and stuff.

As excited as I am to be moving and thankfully I have a lot of stuff in storage, I still need to get a whole lot of new things. I ordered my cuppaccino suede L-shape couch and my dark wood furniture. I bought the matching kettle and toaster in it's silver finish. I bought the silver, mirrored microwave and other kitchen items. I expected these to be somewhat costly.
I did not expect these things to be expensive:
Bath sheets, hand towels, curtains and blinds, linen, duvet covers, pillow cases etc.
I did not choose Egyptian cotton with thread count blah blah blah ... I got ordinary white duvet covers and pillow cases..... from Sheet Street.
I did not budget for these things being so expensive. Imagine my surprise when you're taking items for R89 and R199 etc and handing them over to get a final bill of R1895.99. Say what???
It just goes to show that the small things really can add up.

It's getting closer now and I can't wait. So much to do. I also am a hoarder. I have tried over the years to change that and I have given up...given in? to the fact that it's never going to change. However, it has to change because my new apartment is so tiny that if anything is out of place or stacked up the place will look like a tornado ripped through it.
I have collected and built up so many things that there is no way I have space for everything.
I heard what you said. So be brutal and chuck things out. Surely you don't need everything.
How can you swear at me like that?
I do need everything and I can't bare to throw things away in case I may need it down the line. Oh good grief. This is why I need my girlfriends. We need to create my own version of The Style Networks: Clean House

All I know is that it's a week and a bit and then I have my independance back. I also know that I have a bottle of Moet champagne that is eagerly awaiting the move too.

Changes ...

Can you smell it? Can you feel it?

Ok maybe not entirely, but you know that Spring is just around the corner. Alright, to be perfectly honest all I can really feel is how dry and frizzy my hair is, how those static shocks hurt and how dry my skin is that I look half woman-half reptile.

I have noticed how some trees are starting to blossom and how the weather is shyly warming up. I had 2 braai's this weekend and I didn't have to pull on a jersey once.

There are two things that I always freak out about though.

a) I am so lily white that I may blind anyone who isn't wearing sunglasses.

b) those layers of clothes come off to expose the layer of "blubber" I fondly called my layer of warmth.

There would actually normally be 3 things ... the third would have been that I would need an industrial strength razor to deforest my legs because *again* I fondly called them my "layer of warmth home grown stockings."

My legs have been silky smooth all.winter.long. Thanks to my relationship with European Boy. 'Nuff said.

OK no wait. They haven't been silky smooth all.winter.long. They have been silky smooth all for a few hours after I've shaved them (I'm not a fan of waxing. My legs, that is. Go figure) until I got cold, got goosebumps and then instantly had chicken flesh legs. God it pisses me off.

I have a LOT of changes coming up. All happening ON Spring Day.

I am moving into my fabulous, tiny bachelorette pad that has a little garden. I love gardens and while this may be tiny, I can't wait to sit on the patio in the sunshine and watch the birds.

Good grief. I sound like I'm 80. LOL

I can't wait to decorate and just have MY OWN space. I adore my family and I'm so grateful that I was able to move back 8 months ago after the breakup, but I really do need my independance and after running my own household for 4 years (my way) it has been difficult going back to living under "mom and dad's house rules."

An element of my job is also changing on the 01 September which is bitter sweet. It is exciting and sad at the same time. It's going to be quite an adjustment.

These are a few things that I'm looking forward to about summer:

Ice tea's and cocktail sundowners with my girlfriends.

Picnics.

Watermelon.

Salads and fruit salads.

Ice cream.

Pool Parties.

Summer dresses and slops.

Bronzed skin.

Cabriolets.

Sunsets.

Leaving my hair to dry naturally because this time the haridryer will be too hot, instead of welcoming! LOL.

A green city again. I'm over the drab brown.

The smell of suntan lotion.

I can't wait.

Weekend anyone?

Good grief. I um...don't have words about this weekend. Seriously. It was completely out of character and manic. In fact even that description is tame.

I feel exhausted.

Friday night was um... Oh God. Where to start. So it all started off rather lovely...we went to a divine restaurant and had dinner and cocktails, like civilised human beings. Afterwards, we hit FTV Cedar. It was all lovely until coffee tequila reared it's ugly head. Oh. My. God.
It went completely pear shaped from there. Blondie 2 decided it would be "fun" to waterski though the fountain. As you do. "Weirdly" enough, she ended up falling on her ass and ended up at Olivedale Clinic.
She is now in a sling and it's not broken, but I personally think she needs a second opinion.
Anyway...I wasn't in my car (this NEVER ends well - at the time it makes sense to go in one car but at the end of the evening, I always curse that decision because I can't leave when I'm ready...I always say that I'll never do that again and what happens? It happens again.) so I couldn't even be at the hospital for her.
We were all supposed to go to the Meat Market called Billy the B.U.M.S.
I really am not a huge fan of this place.
Seriously. Men are just revolting. I know I shouldn't be surprised considering that I was at BB's but still....c'mon.
Is there some sort of perception that because it's Fourways/Sandton, all girls are gold diggers and impressed with your fancy schmancy car and monthly salary?
Seriously?
Right, so there I am sitting at a table (tired from dancing, you see?) when this guy comes up to Sugar and I.
"Hey there. I earn R30 000 a month, you girls should respect me."
"Pardon?"
He repeats this with extra emphasis on the "should".
"Oh. My. God. I just have to have your babies now! You must be an amazing man." I swooned.
He flashes a grin and decides that my sarcasm is a green light for him to sidle up next to me.
Dude.
His friend then joins us almost immediately and starts talking about his SLK Mercedes.
Later on, after a few more jaegerbombs and room spins I had this guy leer at me, burn me with a cigarette from his actions and try and pull in for a kiss. I turned my head and pushed him away. He then couldn't understand why I was the one being rude.
Oh yes. Baby oh baby. Please can I have some drunk, disgusting, sweaty man leer at me for a kiss.
I mean, after all... I don't even know what your salary is.

Sugar and I were feeling horribly drunk and I still had to fetch my car. So.
This wasn't embarrassing at all.
I had to call my parents at...wait for it....5am. Now. I love the fact that I let my hair down, but um. 5am?
That is NOT a Bondie thing to do. It really is completely out of character. 3am is doable every once in a while (seriously...every ONCE in a while) but 5am AND calling my folks. If I am going to do a big night, that's all fine by me but without the folks knowing about it.
It gave a whole new meaning to drunk dialling.

So. My dad and my sister came to collect me and then we went to fetch my car (my sister drove it home for me.)

Fabulous. It was terribly sweet but if I could have avoided that I would have.

I slept the entire day, felt very sorry for myself and then drove through to fetch Blondie 2 who was going to be sleeping at me so that we could get an early start on Sunday.
It was hilarious though considering that we all take having two hands for granted. I had to cut her burger into four so that she could pick it up with her one hand and eat it and I had to help her with her bra. No weird thoughts boys.

Sunday was Moving Day. It was weird going through all my things and packing them into boxes. My dad had hired a trailer for all my furniture and Sugar, Blondie 2 and I went through cupboards, drawers and every room figuring out what was mine, what I was keeping and what I was chucking.
I couldn't have done it without them and we made it "fun" by pretending we were on The Style Network's "Clean House" show. We would actually make a good team and I reckon it would be a good TV show! The SA Version! Hahaha!!
Afterwards, we decided we needed a drink. A stiff one. We went to Lonehill Capello's. It was pretty dead, which was suprising considering it was the Sunday Hang Out once upon a time!

These two boys came to us and asked us if the two empty chairs were available. The way they asked it, was as if they needed the chairs to move to a table they were sitting at. As soon as I said, "Not at all" they sat down. Um. OK.
They spent the time just complimenting us on our shoes, hair and dresses.

I found the humour in the fact that on Friday night I had been hit on by revolting men and on Sunday night I was being "hit on" by Gay Boys.

Lovely.

Chapters in my life

This weekend involves:

Dinner tonight at a very beautiful, trendy restaurant.
Pilates.
A birthday party, where I am going to wear a new dress I bought and team it with my suicidal stilettos and dance the night away with my mates.

and then...

I'm moving all my furniture out on Sunday and I have all my mates and family coming to help me. I'm going to need a stiff drink or three afterwards, so the deal is that once we've moved and put my things into storage, we're going to go out and slurp cocktails.... they'll certainly symbolize the end of a chapter and the start of a new one.
I'm feelin OK about Sunday...but I don't know how brave I'll be on the actual day. Thank GOD for Special K, Blondie 2, Sugar, mom, dad and my sister who are going to be there!

I have received a few messages from someone and they have made me smile. It's good to know there is life after "death" :-)