Weekend anyone?

Good grief. I um...don't have words about this weekend. Seriously. It was completely out of character and manic. In fact even that description is tame.

I feel exhausted.

Friday night was um... Oh God. Where to start. So it all started off rather lovely...we went to a divine restaurant and had dinner and cocktails, like civilised human beings. Afterwards, we hit FTV Cedar. It was all lovely until coffee tequila reared it's ugly head. Oh. My. God.
It went completely pear shaped from there. Blondie 2 decided it would be "fun" to waterski though the fountain. As you do. "Weirdly" enough, she ended up falling on her ass and ended up at Olivedale Clinic.
She is now in a sling and it's not broken, but I personally think she needs a second opinion.
Anyway...I wasn't in my car (this NEVER ends well - at the time it makes sense to go in one car but at the end of the evening, I always curse that decision because I can't leave when I'm ready...I always say that I'll never do that again and what happens? It happens again.) so I couldn't even be at the hospital for her.
We were all supposed to go to the Meat Market called Billy the B.U.M.S.
I really am not a huge fan of this place.
Seriously. Men are just revolting. I know I shouldn't be surprised considering that I was at BB's but still....c'mon.
Is there some sort of perception that because it's Fourways/Sandton, all girls are gold diggers and impressed with your fancy schmancy car and monthly salary?
Seriously?
Right, so there I am sitting at a table (tired from dancing, you see?) when this guy comes up to Sugar and I.
"Hey there. I earn R30 000 a month, you girls should respect me."
"Pardon?"
He repeats this with extra emphasis on the "should".
"Oh. My. God. I just have to have your babies now! You must be an amazing man." I swooned.
He flashes a grin and decides that my sarcasm is a green light for him to sidle up next to me.
Dude.
His friend then joins us almost immediately and starts talking about his SLK Mercedes.
Later on, after a few more jaegerbombs and room spins I had this guy leer at me, burn me with a cigarette from his actions and try and pull in for a kiss. I turned my head and pushed him away. He then couldn't understand why I was the one being rude.
Oh yes. Baby oh baby. Please can I have some drunk, disgusting, sweaty man leer at me for a kiss.
I mean, after all... I don't even know what your salary is.

Sugar and I were feeling horribly drunk and I still had to fetch my car. So.
This wasn't embarrassing at all.
I had to call my parents at...wait for it....5am. Now. I love the fact that I let my hair down, but um. 5am?
That is NOT a Bondie thing to do. It really is completely out of character. 3am is doable every once in a while (seriously...every ONCE in a while) but 5am AND calling my folks. If I am going to do a big night, that's all fine by me but without the folks knowing about it.
It gave a whole new meaning to drunk dialling.

So. My dad and my sister came to collect me and then we went to fetch my car (my sister drove it home for me.)

Fabulous. It was terribly sweet but if I could have avoided that I would have.

I slept the entire day, felt very sorry for myself and then drove through to fetch Blondie 2 who was going to be sleeping at me so that we could get an early start on Sunday.
It was hilarious though considering that we all take having two hands for granted. I had to cut her burger into four so that she could pick it up with her one hand and eat it and I had to help her with her bra. No weird thoughts boys.

Sunday was Moving Day. It was weird going through all my things and packing them into boxes. My dad had hired a trailer for all my furniture and Sugar, Blondie 2 and I went through cupboards, drawers and every room figuring out what was mine, what I was keeping and what I was chucking.
I couldn't have done it without them and we made it "fun" by pretending we were on The Style Network's "Clean House" show. We would actually make a good team and I reckon it would be a good TV show! The SA Version! Hahaha!!
Afterwards, we decided we needed a drink. A stiff one. We went to Lonehill Capello's. It was pretty dead, which was suprising considering it was the Sunday Hang Out once upon a time!

These two boys came to us and asked us if the two empty chairs were available. The way they asked it, was as if they needed the chairs to move to a table they were sitting at. As soon as I said, "Not at all" they sat down. Um. OK.
They spent the time just complimenting us on our shoes, hair and dresses.

I found the humour in the fact that on Friday night I had been hit on by revolting men and on Sunday night I was being "hit on" by Gay Boys.

Lovely.

I am mad at...ME!

Why is it that we get 20 compliments and one negative comment, that one remark can cross out the 20 and make you feel like jumping off a building.
Just an arb little thing there...Love and hate fan mail. I truly piss myself off sometimes.

I have a hangover and not even a greasy Wimpy breakfast could act as my white surrender flag.
I also overslept and missed my boxing class, hence the greasy Wimpy breakfast. That made me feel even worse. All my agony and effort went down the drain in form of eggs, bacon and hashbrowns.
Annoyed with myself. I am mad that I drank last night (although I literally only had 4 drinks...no kidding...and I'm hungover...go figure!) and mad I missed boxed and mad I ate greasy food.

As a result of feeling oh-so-chipper and happier than Bill Gates on pay day, I am so over excited about entertaining tonight.
My dad and my man's mom is coming over for drinks tonight. My mom would join, but she's in bed with a really bad ear infection (well, it's worse than that, but I don't know the proper term.)
My idea of the perfect night would be to change into my pj's as soon as I get home, curl up in front of the TV, watch the Series channel's reality TV shows, make cups of hot chocolate and feel sorry for myself.
No such luck. He thought it would be a great idea for them to come around tonight. Great. I love seeing them, sure. Tonight? Not so much.
I now have to play hostess, be domesticated and the chances of me putting on my pj's before midnight is slim. I also have to entertain. I can't exactly sit there with a long face and mumble. Oh no. I will have to make conversation and the man and I will take turns in filling up glasses of wine, checking on food and making sure everyone is happy.
Yay for me.

I can't stop yawning either and it's really not helping me at work. *Yawn*
My head is pounding and I feel a little nauseous.

I'm having a bad day, can you tell?

Blondie has "class" and ghosts.

I thought I would pop past my folks last night for a good glass of wine and a catch up session. My man was out with his mates, so I decided to be a good daughter and visit. Just as well I phoned first though, they weren't at home. My mom was all giggly and she said: "Blondie, we're at the Palazzo Hotel drinking wine!"
"What? Why are you there?"
"Well I entered a competition a few months ago and they called me to tell me I have to come through and pick up my prize."
"Mommmm!!! It's a scam...one of those things to get you there and then when you do they whisk you into a room and try and get you to sign your life away in policies for time share etc etc..."
"I also thought so, but I asked the woman on the phone and she assured me it's nothing like that!"
"Mmmm...I'm sure!"
"Just come through! Come and have a glass of wine with your parents."
So I did. I arrived at the 5 star hotel and instead of the wine, I ordered Jamesons and Appletizer.
There was a snack platter out in the foyer and I went to help myself. There were several little tiny dishes on the large dishes. I started picking out the olives, the sundried tomatoes and chicken cubes from each dish. It was only then that I realised that most people were picking up each little dish as that was one serving. I was so embarrassed. How classy of me.
My mom had these rosy cheeks from the logfire and the red wine. She was giggling and my dad and I couldn't help teasing her for being so gullible.
"Oh well! Maybe you two are wrong! Besides, at least we're drinking wine and sitting in the Palazzo Hotel, which we've never seen before!"


Well whaddya know? Before you can get your prize, we'd like to interest you in timeshare and incredible discounts on your travelling yadda yadda yadda!
My dad and I killed ourselves laughing and kept chanting "Told ya so!!" over and over again, like two school children.
We decided to have a lovely dinner at Monte Casino and I got a little tipsy on my glasses of whiskey and Appletizer. It was a weird feeling to be getting drunk with my parents on a Wednesday night.
On our way out, my mom needed the bathroom. The Monte Casino bathrooms are huge and while my mom went into one of the stalls, I stood in the other room filled with mirrors.
I eventually moved into the room with the stalls and noticed there was only one door closed.
I tapped on the door and teased, "Sheesh mom, it sounds like the Niagra Falls in there!"
"Stop it Blondie!" The voice came from behind me.
I turned around to see that there was another stall door closed. I was mortified. I had just tapped on a door and told some woman that she sounded like a gushing waterfall. Charming.

Did I stand around and wait for my mom to finish, with the chance this other woman would come out first? Did I hide in another stall? (Wish I'd thought of that actually.)
No.
I did the mature thing and ran. I ran out the bathroom leaving my mom inside and ran out to my dad who was looking at the "Razzle Dazzle" display. Did I run out quietly and inconspicuously? Nope. My red heels click clacked and echoed in the acoustic bathrooms. My subtlety was fabulous.

My mom walked out shaking her head. It was her turn to tease me.

I had such a wonderful evening with my parents. No weird, embarrassed feelings of: You walk ahead of me and preferably don't refer to me at all. We don't really know each other.
Ok, the embarrassed feelings happen when my dad thinks he's funnier than Chris Rock and also thinks that the table next to us should know that. If it doesn't work, he laughs harder at himself.
Seriously though, there is something wonderful about being older and more appreciative of your parents. I'm glad I'm at this point. It's also wonderful for my parents to finally treat me as an adult. Sounds weird, I know.

I got home, strangely sober and as I turned the corner, I could see my home. Lights were beaming out of the windows. Odd. Neither the man nor I had been at home since that morning and we are very conscientious about switching lights off.
I pulled into the driveway and my dog wasn't going crazy. I walked into the house all warily and every single light was on. Every single light, from our garage to our spare bedrooms. I checked the house and thankfully there was no one there. My dog was acting a little bizarre and actually scared the crap out of me, because he kept looking behind me and when I spun around there was nothing there.
Right so, my paranoia was high and my heart rate higher. I was in my bathroom when I heard the TV go on. My heart nearly stopped. I think it may have, actually, for a couple of seconds.
That paralyzing fear washed over me and I wanted to see what was in my bedroom but I also wanted to stay exactly where I was in case there was something I didn't want to see.
I moved out of the bathroom, slowly and there was nothing there. My TV was on, but that is near impossible. The remote doesn't work, which is a pain. You have to physically switch the TV on.
I spoke to the man when he got home and he hadn't left any of the lights on either.
I cannot explain it.

Seriously, if I have ghosts in the house, best they start paying rent then. Times are tough with a unforgiving economy.
I am incredible spooked.

Oh and PS> I have a hickey! Me! A Hickey!! I can't remember the last time I had one. I certainly was young though. I don't think there was any intention for me to receive one, but there it is, proud and purple. Thank God it's winter -how I love my scarves!!