Thursday, June 5, 2008

Blondie has "class" and ghosts.

I thought I would pop past my folks last night for a good glass of wine and a catch up session. My man was out with his mates, so I decided to be a good daughter and visit. Just as well I phoned first though, they weren't at home. My mom was all giggly and she said: "Blondie, we're at the Palazzo Hotel drinking wine!"
"What? Why are you there?"
"Well I entered a competition a few months ago and they called me to tell me I have to come through and pick up my prize."
"Mommmm!!! It's a scam...one of those things to get you there and then when you do they whisk you into a room and try and get you to sign your life away in policies for time share etc etc..."
"I also thought so, but I asked the woman on the phone and she assured me it's nothing like that!"
"Mmmm...I'm sure!"
"Just come through! Come and have a glass of wine with your parents."
So I did. I arrived at the 5 star hotel and instead of the wine, I ordered Jamesons and Appletizer.
There was a snack platter out in the foyer and I went to help myself. There were several little tiny dishes on the large dishes. I started picking out the olives, the sundried tomatoes and chicken cubes from each dish. It was only then that I realised that most people were picking up each little dish as that was one serving. I was so embarrassed. How classy of me.
My mom had these rosy cheeks from the logfire and the red wine. She was giggling and my dad and I couldn't help teasing her for being so gullible.
"Oh well! Maybe you two are wrong! Besides, at least we're drinking wine and sitting in the Palazzo Hotel, which we've never seen before!"


Well whaddya know? Before you can get your prize, we'd like to interest you in timeshare and incredible discounts on your travelling yadda yadda yadda!
My dad and I killed ourselves laughing and kept chanting "Told ya so!!" over and over again, like two school children.
We decided to have a lovely dinner at Monte Casino and I got a little tipsy on my glasses of whiskey and Appletizer. It was a weird feeling to be getting drunk with my parents on a Wednesday night.
On our way out, my mom needed the bathroom. The Monte Casino bathrooms are huge and while my mom went into one of the stalls, I stood in the other room filled with mirrors.
I eventually moved into the room with the stalls and noticed there was only one door closed.
I tapped on the door and teased, "Sheesh mom, it sounds like the Niagra Falls in there!"
"Stop it Blondie!" The voice came from behind me.
I turned around to see that there was another stall door closed. I was mortified. I had just tapped on a door and told some woman that she sounded like a gushing waterfall. Charming.

Did I stand around and wait for my mom to finish, with the chance this other woman would come out first? Did I hide in another stall? (Wish I'd thought of that actually.)
No.
I did the mature thing and ran. I ran out the bathroom leaving my mom inside and ran out to my dad who was looking at the "Razzle Dazzle" display. Did I run out quietly and inconspicuously? Nope. My red heels click clacked and echoed in the acoustic bathrooms. My subtlety was fabulous.

My mom walked out shaking her head. It was her turn to tease me.

I had such a wonderful evening with my parents. No weird, embarrassed feelings of: You walk ahead of me and preferably don't refer to me at all. We don't really know each other.
Ok, the embarrassed feelings happen when my dad thinks he's funnier than Chris Rock and also thinks that the table next to us should know that. If it doesn't work, he laughs harder at himself.
Seriously though, there is something wonderful about being older and more appreciative of your parents. I'm glad I'm at this point. It's also wonderful for my parents to finally treat me as an adult. Sounds weird, I know.

I got home, strangely sober and as I turned the corner, I could see my home. Lights were beaming out of the windows. Odd. Neither the man nor I had been at home since that morning and we are very conscientious about switching lights off.
I pulled into the driveway and my dog wasn't going crazy. I walked into the house all warily and every single light was on. Every single light, from our garage to our spare bedrooms. I checked the house and thankfully there was no one there. My dog was acting a little bizarre and actually scared the crap out of me, because he kept looking behind me and when I spun around there was nothing there.
Right so, my paranoia was high and my heart rate higher. I was in my bathroom when I heard the TV go on. My heart nearly stopped. I think it may have, actually, for a couple of seconds.
That paralyzing fear washed over me and I wanted to see what was in my bedroom but I also wanted to stay exactly where I was in case there was something I didn't want to see.
I moved out of the bathroom, slowly and there was nothing there. My TV was on, but that is near impossible. The remote doesn't work, which is a pain. You have to physically switch the TV on.
I spoke to the man when he got home and he hadn't left any of the lights on either.
I cannot explain it.

Seriously, if I have ghosts in the house, best they start paying rent then. Times are tough with a unforgiving economy.
I am incredible spooked.

Oh and PS> I have a hickey! Me! A Hickey!! I can't remember the last time I had one. I certainly was young though. I don't think there was any intention for me to receive one, but there it is, proud and purple. Thank God it's winter -how I love my scarves!!

12 comments:

Len said...

I got a hickey the day my boss took photos of us for the internet staff page. Oh how classy. ;)

MidniteGem said...

I've got a worse one...try having a hickey on your cheek !!!! Crazy bf decided it would be fun to cause me embarressment..at least it wasnt the forehead where he was planning on placing it first. Trust I did not get this willingly ...i fought with all i could muster - but to no avail. And he knows that i've banned them ! ARG

sweets said...

LOL... that was a funny post!!!
so spooky about the lights and the TV... hectic!

The Divine Miss M said...

Woah tres spooky! I'd freak out :(

Re Hickey's I hate those things. I haven't had one since high school! I find them to be like personal tagging of your property. Meh.

Enjoy ;)

Tamara said...

Hectic about your ghosts! I know that if your neighbours have a really beeeeg bigscreen TV, their remote can turn your TV on coz of its infra-red signal. Not sure how the lights turned on though.

My friend in highschool came from a really conservative Hindi family and she was a total rebel. She started dating this dodgey dude, and he decided that the pinnacle of her rebelliousness should be flaunting a hickey. But she wouldn't let him give her one. So while they were kissing, he bites her on the lip instead, hard enough to draw blood, make a big, obvious mark and ensure that her parents noticed it!

Supanova said...

Oh Blondie... you RAN from the loo? LMAO! well at least you didn't freeze in front of the poor woman's stall till she came out! Too funny you are! About your ghosts, the other day Gareth Cliff was talking about this dude who had a homeless woman living in his cupboard! LMAO.... maybe you have a homeless person too!

MidniteGem said...

LOL - that reminds me my lecturer at tech had a homeless guy living in their roof and they didnt know. She used to get really mad at her sons when they wouldnt own up for hiding food and pots and containers.

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Noooo! Len!!! Oh gosh! Shame!!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Midnite gem, that is just cruel!!
Shame! hahaha!!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Thanks Sweets, I'm still spooked!!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Miss M, I am extremely spooked! I keep feeling like I'm being watched!

Oh I agree in the hickey front. Hate em...trust me...this one wasn't planned, I think he just um... got really excited!~
Haha!!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Midnite Gem and Supanova....that is extremely freaky!!! Don't tell me that!!
I'm not going into my roof to check...

I can't imagine what I would do if I found someone? My hair would go white from absolute fright!

YIKES!!