I am going to be a toned and skinny ROCK STAR!

I'm starting a band. I'm preparing myself for the rockstar life that I know will be mine soon. I'm going to have to start getting used to the adoring fans, the throwing of underwear and the cramped hands from all the autograph signing.
I know it will be tough on the road, but *sigh* someone's gotta do it.
I played Guitar Hero and the drum kit for Guitar Hero like a rockstar. After every song the TV screen yelled out: YOU ROCK!!
I know, I know. Why be modest when you are pure brilliance?
Hahahahahaha!

What a jol! On Saturday night European Boy and I went over to the helicopter buddies for pizza and Guitar Hero. It was ridiculous how funny everyone is when they play. People stick their tongues out, their brows furrow, they squint their eyes and some even stop breathing...all in concentration. Oh and heaven help you if you dare cross in front of the TV screen. Lesson learnt ;-)
We had someone on the mic singing, someone on bass, someone on the guitar and someone on drums. It was very "rock and roll." I loved it.




In other news. Special K is killing me. I know that I will thank her but in the mean time I curse her, I huff and puff and I glare at her with the "why do you hate me so much?" sentiment.
According to her (and I quote): "By the time I am finished with you, Blondie, I will be able to crack eggs on your ass!"
She is my personal trainer, dietician and support system to lose 12 kgs and become toned and fabulous.
I have had enough. Sure, I lost a lot of weight from no emotional eating, going to gym etc... but it's not enough and I feel like I should be in my prime especially being in my mid twenties. The reality is, I'm not getting any younger and each second that passes, maintaining a figure gets harder and harder. I need to get a figure first and then try to maintain it.
I am a little scared to be honest and I'm nervous, because it is a lot of dedication and committment, but I am motivated and I really wanna do this. If I can stop smoking cold turkey after a pack a day for 8 years, then I am stronger than I think and have amazing will power to do anything I set my mind to.
I sound like I'm trying to convince myself more than you. You're probably right. Baby steps.
I have started a food journal, which actually really helps. I've read in Shape Magazine and other articles etc that keeping a food journal helps. I never really "got that" until now. I also train so hard at gym that the idea of putting a cheeseburger in my mouth afterwards kind of makes me feel like all that gym would have been a waste, so why bother.
I really want to do this properly, once and for all...so that I can maintain it. I'm doing this for myself and yes, let's be honest, my career too. Let's see how it goes. :-)

Exercising rays of sunshine

I wish I could say that I haven't blogged because I ate myself into a chocolate induced coma... well, I nearly did and have the spots ot prove it. Argh. Why does chocolate have to cause spots? It's just not fair.

Sugar and I are officially (no more excuses) back at gym. Yes we are. This is it. I was doing so well and lost a lot of weight...that should have been motivating enough but I fell off the wagon and enough is enough.
I actually forgot how much fun we have and how much I laugh at the two of us (afterwards...not during)
We always arrive in our gym attire looking at the gym doors like we're about to enter hell. We basically grunt at each other, give each a half-hearted morning hug, take a deep breath and walk in. Our gym cards are swiped and we look at the equipment like they're aliens who might and probably will hurt us.
Our spinning instructor is waaaay too cheerful in the morning.
"Gooood Moooorning Rays of Sunshine!!"
I made the mistake of once barking out: "What's good about it?"
He then decided it was his mission to "cheer me up" by winking at me, blasting the music, sending smiles of encouragement and basically annoying the crap out of me while he made us sweat on level 9 (standing on the pedals) for 12 frikken minutes - 5 times.
I also "cheerfully" curse Sugar. I tell her how much I hate her for doing this to me. I am really wonderful. In fact I could hire myself out as the "ultimate gym partner... just what you need to get you going...literally...away from me."
We do this one exercise where we lie on a bench and do stomach crunches while Sugar throws a medicine ball at, I mean, to me. I groan, grunt and cause havoc in the gym while everyone throws "shut-the-f*ck-up" looks at me. I need to get through the pain by letting everyone know just hard I am working, even if it means that the people on the opposite side of the gym hear me.

Afterwards, however, is a very different story. I feel those little endorphins buzzing through the bod. I feel exhilirated and I'm ready to face my day as a "ray of sunshine". In fact I'm so chuffed with the fact that I didn't get a hernia and I didn't pass out in a sweaty mess, that Sugar and I congratulate each other on the way out. We hi-5 each other and tell each other how fabulous we are and how we instantly look skinnier than we did when we arrived. We even celebrate across the road with a skinny cupaccino or 3.
Good times.
Good Skinnier Times.

I have a suggestion. Amen.

If you see a blonde trying to walk. It's me. I either look like I've pulled something or like I've had an amazing night of passion. Maybe... oh never mind.
I've actually just outdone myself in boxing class. No seriously. I cannot walk properly and I did class this morning. Imagine how I'm going to feel tomorrow morning. Good grief. We did 280 lunges today and as many squats. Ok? So you understand now. Stairs take a good 5 minutes and trying to sit on the loo is one hell of an experience. I have to literally hold onto the walls and slide down onto the toilet. Sorry for the TMI, but seriously, you don't understand my pain!
I have been stretching and it's still sore. I don't think I'm going to be able to walk tomorrow.
Whoever said: "No pain, no gain" should be shot. Really. I hate that they're right!

I had sushi lunch today with Special K and Boxing Girl. We were bitching about that very saying. I mean, life is generally hard. Can't their be something easy? No really. I spoke hypothetically (well, I guess thats pretty obvious) about being giving an option before we're born. Imagine if we were given a clipboard with various options we could tick off, before we were born. The Clipboard would say:

Life is hard, so I'm giving you a break. Tick one.

I'd tick this one:

#16.) Staying healthily skinny (within you height) will be effortless. You will be allowed to eat as many carbs, chocolates and other bad stuff as often as you like without so much as a kg nearing your thighs, stomach and hips.

I don't know...I think that would be fair. Each individual could tick off whatever it is that they never want to think about or have to put so much effort into.

Boxing Girl and Special K think I'm totally nutters and said things like: Breathing is easy.
That doesn't count. But thank you Lord because that would totally suck if we had to think about doing that all the time.

I thought my idea was genius. I'm letting G know about it...perhaps He can look into it for the future. Just a suggestion.