Garden Terrorist

I was furious and so frustrated that I resorted to tears last night. I got home from Comedy Girl's place last night. We had finished off a bottle of wine, had great girly chats and finally called it a night. I was exhuasted and just wanted to flop into bed.

As I got home I noticed that the lovely tree's I had bought and placed in the garden to be planted were not sticking above the wall. As I got closer I found my dog aka Garden Terrorist, full of compost. He had trampled and destroyed everything. Everything. One tree survived.

The only good that came out of this, was that he distributed 3 bags of compost for me. Fuck, I was upset. I burst into tears. There was no sign of the Jasmine (my favourite thing that would have been in my garden!) and there were only a few things that were salvageable. The rest? Destroyed. The Garden Terrorist is lucky to be alive.

I am going for a spray tan tonight and yes, I've had them before and they work brilliantly on my skin. I can't lose 10kgs by Saturday night's TV show, so I'm going to mask it with a tan . I had to exfoliate my body and not use cream, deodorants or anything of the sorts. I ran out of my exfoliater so I jumped out the bath left a wet trail all the way to my kitchen, grabbed my sugar bowl and nearly killed myself on the way back. Slippery feet and tiles apparently don't mix. Who would've thought.

What a weird day.

I went for one of those spray tans yesterday... it's not the Caribbean Tan, which stinks and leaves embarrassing stains...it's odourless and the tan builds gradually as the hours go by! I do not have a frikken clue what it's called though. Useless.
I look like I have been sipping pina colada's in the Seyshelles for the past 2 weeks, with gorgeous men fanning me with big palm leaves and feeding me juicy grapes.
OK...the last part is not at all how I "look" but mmm, it had to be said!

I have a function tonight and I'm nervous. I am. I MC functions all the time and yes, I'll feel slightly nervous with the anticipation of the evening, but it feels different today. I am nervous..the palms are sweating, the heart is racing a little too fast for my liking and I feel like I might throw up!
It's horrible.

I wish I had interesting and exciting news... I'm not very positive at the moment. I'm having shit with girls who are plain old mean bitches. I feel like I am taking a trip down memory lane; destination: High School.
I wish I wasn't so sensitive. I wish I could just shrug it off and not give a damn. Easier said than done.
I am close to being broke...so broke...as in R10 keeping my bank account open. Pay day is only the 25th and there are 9 days to go.
I am still getting my migraines and now to add things to the pot, I'm nervous.

It's a bloody fabulous day!