HAPPY NEW YEAR

I cannot believe it's 2011. I love this time of the year. It's like the slate is wiped clean and we can start afresh. This is the time when I create my vision boards of everything I would like to accomplish this year. I write everything down, or I put pictures up that represent my dream/goal.
I love doing them. I put them onto a big board in a place where I can see it every single day, as a constant reminder.

I came back from my holiday in Ballito, refreshed and excited to start the New Year. There is so much I would like to accomplish, so I'm going to put plans into place, take action and with a little bit of luck and a lot of hard work, hopefully they will all come true. That's what is special about a new year ... the opportunities and possibilities are fresh.

I would like to really wish you all a Wonderful New Year. I hope 2011 is filled with love and laughter, health and wealth, and everything else your heart desires.
I really appreciate all the love, kindness and support you showed me in 2010 and here's to a happy 2011 together.

Cougar Town ......

Wow it's been an interesting time. The saying "Careful what you wish for..." is very very true.

I had a date with the guy I went to varsity with. We went to the Throbbing Strawberry - they make good pizza and cocktails. The Throbbing Strawberry. I know. I really can't make this stuff up. I feel like I've entered a comedy.
Well, it was awesome. We caught up after all these years, we chatted about the past, about what's been happening and it was like I had seen him yesterday. He really is a phenomenal guy and actually one of the last few good guys around.
Problem: *why does everything have to be so complicated?* .... While he is a really good guy, we get on like a house on fire, laugh, joke around... He's just a friend. I really can't see past that. Such a pity, in a way, but better. I do not want to string him along at all.

I was then supposed to see the hottie but I never heard from him. Just as I was about to strike him out, he called me to make plans. So... I'm kind of excited, but the big question mark is... Is this a date? Or a catch up?
My very good friend, Twin, happens to be one of his best mates. We had such a laugh...
Twin: If he takes you to the Brazen Head or any other pub, it's a catch up. If he takes you else where, it's a date.
Right...so with that knowledge in hand...I was interested to see what the suggestion would be.
When he called to make plans, he asked me where I'd like to go... I then said: "I don't mind, where would you like to go?"
Gosh. That is such a typical girly thing, isn't it?
Lame.
So, he said there are so many great places to go to and he'll think about it and let me know closer to the time.
Sounds promising, right? Unless of course, he's talking about there being so many great pubs to go to. Time will tell.

Bachelor #3 (the one that I met at a braai) ... I don't really feel a connection with and rather than string him along, I'd rather just not entertain it. There have been mixed reviews amongst my girlfriends ... who, by the way... are living vicariously through me. My friends are married or in serious relationships heading towards the chapel, that I am really one of the last few single mates. I think they are secretly/not so secretly LOVING my apparently exciting single life.
Anyway, the mixed reviews are that I should go on the date because "you just never know" and then some agree with me, saying that they know this guy really likes me and if I don't feel anything, why entertain it?

So yes... this is an interesting time. I'm having fun.

Speaking of ... I entered Cougar Town over this past weekend ... ahem... I made out with a guy 6 years my junior.
Good grief.
*BLUSH*

This isn't really anything I've ever done before. I am seriously the girl who is a relationship type of girl... I've never done the flings, never had a one night stand and certainly do not hook up with guys at clubs.
I guess, I've done things the other way around. While everyone in their teens and early twenties were doing that, I was in the serious relationship.
So yes ... This is all lots of fun and the best part of going through what I have, is that I now know EXACTLY what I want and what I don't want. I'm not going to settle. Simple.

Happy Friday everyone!
Tomorrow is a Christmas Party with all my mates. We're each bringing a dish and a secret santa gift. My friends and I tend to go all out on things, so I am super excited!

Twilight Zone....

December, huh? Where on earth did this year go? I cannot wrap my head around the fact that it's nearly Christmas and 2011.

I guess my denial isn't going to change anything... Christmas and New Years is coming whether I like it or not.

I definitely need to get into the Christmas spirit.

Soooo... I feel like I've entered the Twilight Zone.

It's been a while since I've actually gone on a date. There has been nothing. Nada.

I was complaining to my girlfriends the other day, and admittedly they were all right. I haven't exactly been in town long enough to actually meet the creatures from Mars.

Are there any decent men left in the world?

They're either pigs or gay.

Oh and my "gaydar" isn't working. Anyone know where I take that in to be fixed? Seriously.

I totally eye-f*cked a guy in a business suit the other day, he was drinking his coffee (his pinkie was down on the cup) and he was H.O.T. ....... Until he answered his phone. "Hello Mister Fabulous!! Ooooh I just can't wait to see you again sexy man!"

*cue the crickets*

SIGH.

Then, I met an incredible guy the other day, no really... I was actually quite impressed. I even thought that it might have restored my faith .... Only to be told that he is gay, but HE doesn't know it yet.

O. M. G.

Really?

Really? I seriously did not pick that up at all.

I was also reminded about my "eye-f*cking" the gay guy the other day.

Enough said.

Special K and I were talking about this subject over a skinny latte. I think my friends think that I am "fishing" when I say this, but I'm not and I genuinely mean it.

I think I may possibly be single for the rest of my life. The saddest part? I'm not a cat person. So investing in cats and cat food isn't really feasible.

Yay for me.

Anyway, back to the Twilight Zone story ... So there Special K and I are, discussing my single life, when I said: "I would just like to be wooed a little bit. I'd like to just go on a date. Is it so hard?"

Special K sips on her latte, rolls her eyes and says: "You are NOT going to be single for the rest of your life. You've been focusing on your career and you've been loving the single life, yes or no?"

"Yes. You're right... about the latter part, maybe not the first part."

"Any guy would be lucky to have you... He'll come a long when you least expect it and when the timing is right."

"I'm not fishing."

"I know. I'm just stating facts."

We finished up our B&K moment and headed out.

Well, careful what you wish for....

Not even 24 hours later, I got asked out on a date by a guy I met a few years ago. Admittedly I always thought he was hot, but never knew he was interested. I haven't seen him in years.

I called Special K up and told her the irony/good news. Thing is....Am I reading too much into it? Is it a date or is it just a catch up.

Oh the complications.

2 hours later, I get a message from a guy I went to varsity with, who asked me out on the second date - it's also been a few years.

3 hours later I got another message from a guy I had met at a braai a few months ago, he had got my number and asked me for dinner.

OK. Seriously. Where are the hidden cameras?

Are my friends behind this?

Apparently not.

Cue Twilight music.... 3 dates, within a few hours, 24 hours after I said and I quote: "I would just love to go out on a date... be wooed a little, you know?"

Now this isn't narcissism, but boy I'm shocked.

So I may or may not have 3 dates ... Maybe 2 and a half dates ... I've said yes to all ... why not?

So while I'm on a roll.... I'd also like to lose 7kgs, find my affordable dream home, I'd like my own TV show and I would like to triple my salary.

Thanks.

Blogs

I do love reading people blogs...perhaps that's why I have no time to write this one anymore...

Can you believe we're a few days away from Christmas? Where did this year go?

Take a little wonder over to a friend of mines blog ...

www.baileyschneider.co.za ... click on the Orange B to get to the blog and feel free to comment - I know how much she appreciates it :-)

xxxx

Croatia and Switzerland

Wow. It's been a while. The last time I blogged it was a month after break up. Well it's now 3 and a half months since the break up and I am really good. Hell, I'm impressed with myself. I am stronger than I thought.

Sometimes it still hurts, like finding out he has a new girlfriend when his reason for breaking up was that he couldn't be in a relationship with anyone and needed to find himself...Oh look at that... a month after our break up, he got himself a new girlfriend. Men.

The good news? He really does make it easier to move on and get over him.

Croatia is ridiculous. I am sorry. It is not possible for a place to be THAT gorgeous and magical. Unless you've been there, I can't actually describe how MAGICAL the place is. The ocean is turquoise. There is no beach sand, so the clean, clear water is warm and extremely salty. You literally float and bob (no treading water) - it's amazing.

The culture is warm, friendly and welcoming. It doesn't matter who you are, you are welcomed and welcomed warmly. We swam from our villa to another island about 600/700m away and when we got onto the beach, a warm, friendly woman invited

us into her stone home for coffee. Incredible. Coming from South Africa, we obviously we skeptical and wondering if we were walking into a sex-trade syndicate. Kidding. But you do feel guilty for feeling so on guard when people are so friendly and genuine.

The villages are just gorgeous with lots of stone homes and buildings, cobbled streets, wild olive trees, vineyards, gorgeous cafes, shops to die for, shoes to die for, the vegetables and fruit are just too delicious. I have been spoilt with the taste of genuine olive oil, home made wine and the potatoes and tomatoes are something else.

It was exactly what I needed. My soul completely rejuvenated! I bonded even more with my amazing-don't-know-what-I-would-do-without-them girlfriends. We had fun regardless of what we did, from the car trips and ferry trips to the walking around the cobble streets, hav

ing coffees, lying in the sun listening to music, shopping, taking taxi boats from island to island listening to Croatian bands while drinking G&T's, finding children play areas and satisfying our inner child, cooking together, our wine drinking, sitting in peace and watching the ocean, our coffee and chocolate tradition before bed and our laughs. I will never forget this trip. It was the best trip I have ever had.

Dubrovnik

The Stone Villas where we stayed - we had the place to OURSELVES!!

The view from our villas.

Vela Luka.

Special K and my feet on the speed boat :-)

Split - best place for shopping :-)

I also had the pleasure of going to Switzerland... I haven't seen my gran, cousins, uncle and rest of the family in 5 years. I don't really know much about my Swiss family and spending time with my 81 year old gran was just so amazing. I found out things about her and my late grandfather, found out things about my dad, how he was when he was little, all the stories etc etc ... It's made me learn more about who I am and where I come from. The last time I saw my grandpa, I was 9 years old (1992) and he passed away in 2001. I learnt so much about him and there are several things about his personality and character and even his hobbies, that now make so much sense... I have a lot of them and never knew where they came from. Awakening.

I've also only ever been to Switzerland in winter. It was most bizarre to not see the country covered in snow. Instead, it almost looked fake. I have never seen such greenery everywhere. It was so lush and I honestly think the alps looked like they are covered in green felt material.

It was quite something to think that in one morning, I had been in Croatia lying in the sun on the beach and then not even 14 hours later, I was hiking in the alps and standing in snow that had fallen and was starting to melt.

The photos I took, looked like I had doctored them. Incredible.

Switzerland is such a clean country and it's so efficient. If the train says it will leave at 15h03 ... it leaves at 15h03, not 15h04 or a second after. Wow.

It was a whirlwind trip and I travelled around Switzerland within 6 days, I even crossed into Germany for a day. It's amazing how easy that is in Europe.

The food. Don't get me started on the food and the chocolate. *drool*

Davos

Distractions

I had a good sob...2 days ago it was a month since the breakup. They say it gets easier, but I'm still waiting for that.

One thing I have done is kept busy, good grief! I have been out every single night for dinners and coffees and more dinners. I still feel a little empty, but as long as I keep moving and keep seeing my incredible friends, I'm OK.

I sat on my bed having a good sob about it being a month and then realised that next month will be 2 months, BUT I will be on a flight to Europe and I will most certainly be enjoying a good wine or 2 on the plane.

I've booked my airtickets and I'm going to be jetting off to Europe next month for 2 beautiful weeks. In fact, in exactly one month from today I will be experiencing Europe in the Summer for the first time. I've only ever been in Winter, where I tend to look like the Michelin man thanks to all the layers of jerseys and snow jackets.

I have 6 flights to 6 different airports in 2 weeks. A little crazy.

Special K and 4 other girlfriends are jetting off a few days before I can- it's a pity I can't fly there with them but they will be fetching me from Dubrovnik - all very Sex and The City style and then it's off to the most incredible villa we'll be staying it. It is on an island off of Croatia and apparently it is just absolutely BREATH TAKING.

In fact, let me just post some pictures from the website :)

Looks awful, hey?

After the 8 days with them, I will be flying to Switzerland to visit my family. I can't wait to spend some time with my gran. I hardly know her so I'm looking forward to finding out about my heritage and hearing the stories she has to offer about her experiences.

I really really need this break. I love travelling. I love experiencing the sounds, sights, cultures, music, dishes, people etc and I plan to take it all in.

I can't wait to be going overseas with my amazing girlfriends ... what amazing FUN we're going to have. Special K and I have never been overseas together so this is really special for us.

I'm grateful for the distraction - it gives me something to look forward to.

Speaking of distractions, there is a very gorgeous man that has been flirting with me and I think I have been flirting back. I say this because I am actually ridiculously bad at it and it probably isn't flirting at all. Still ... .

It's fun though...and a little weird, but nice. It is very innocent from my side.

The reality is, I still feel very heart sore but I know it will get better ... that's what everyone and every bloody cliche says.

I'm just going through the motions. I'm going out, I'm meeting new people all the time, I'm crying alot and I'm laughing too.

I'm certainly trying this Single Life on and while I feel very out of my depth, I have survived - with plenty of scrapes and bruises, yes, but my heart is still beating - even if it is a different beat.

Hopp Schwiiz Hopp and SA Tourism board should pay me

My friends and family have been keeping me so busy I actually don't know what the inside of my apartment looks like, except when I need to shower.
I'm not complaining. Being broken hearted is a bitch, but it's so much easier with amazing friends, wine and my new Personal Trainer who is honestly...AH-MAZING!!

Soooo chuffed for Switzerland! Whoop!! HOPP SCHWIITZ HOPP!! My family dressed in red, my dad had his Switzerland Makarapa hat on and we set out to the Monte Casino Fan park, where we discovered we were the only Swiss supporters in a sea of Spaniards.
Well I can tell you that Spain and Switzerland are completely surprised ... for 2 very different reasons.
We were the only ones shouting and jumping up and down while shocked Spaniards looked on.
Honestly, I wish the Swiss luck had rubbed off on Bafana Bafana. *sigh*
Well, I'm still flying my SA flag with proud.

One of the things I loved at the fan park, was seeing all the foreigners. There were Mexicans, Brits, Argentinians and Americans - all very festive.
Sitting at the table next to us were 3 American dudes playing cards (as you do) ... my family and I got chatting to them and asked them the most original questions ever.
Me: "So... Is this your first time to South Africa?"
USA: "It's our first time to Africa, Yeah!"
Me: "And?? Whaddya think?"
USA: "Oh it's great, just great! So friendly."
Me: "Ja, it's cool hey? It's not as bad as the international media make out. So, are you surprised we don't have pet lions?"
USA laugh: "Yeah totally. It's like a whole city and everything."
....and so the convo continued. We discovered that they had discovered we really don't have a great public transport system, so they are literally cooped up in their hotel. They haven't seen anything!
Unacceptable. Before I realised what I was doing I invited them to join my friends and I at a restaurant where we were going to watch Bafana Bafana vs Uruguay.
Me: "You have to join me! It's going to be such a jol!"
USA: "A what?"
Me: "Oh. Right. A jol... a party ... We call it a jol!"
USA: "Cool. Let's go!"
Clearly they hadn't been out because they were so excited they practically led me to my car.
Me: "I'm just putting my bag in the boot of my car."
USA: "The what?"
Me: "Oh. Um. The trunk of my car."
We start driving...
Me: "Aw man, we're catching every red robot. I hope we don't lose our table."
USA: "Every red what??"
Me: "Traffic light."

Funny how South African we really are. It was fun.

My mates, true troopers, welcomed the 3 with open arms and we showed them a LEKKER SOUTH AFRICAN JOL! We also discovered it was one of the guys 29th birthday so we gave him the sparkler stuck in ice-cream and Happy Birthday into Shosholoza birthday song!

It's a day I don't think they'll ever forget and they can now confidently say: Howzit! Lekker! Boet! Boerewors! and Sherbet (don't ask.) I feel that SA Tourism should pay me.

They're leaving next week, so I've offered to take them to the Lion Park, Lesedi Cultural village and Apartheid Museum.
The best part? I get to be a tourist in my own country ... I don't know who is more excited.

Heart Broken

Heart broken. European Boy broke up with me and to be honest, I NEVER saw it coming.

We had what most people search for their whole lives and some never find it. We never stopped having fun together, never stopped laughing, we were supportive and kind and loving. Amazing chemistry, I can go on and on .... So where did it all go wrong?

I'm not entirely sure. Feel pretty shattered.

He says that he just can't make a relationship a priority and that he should have taken the time and space when he got out of his last serious relationship - he's been in one serious relationship since 19 (married at 21 and divorced at 25) and that he needs space ... that it's not fair I love him so much and make him my number 1 priority when he just can't make me his.... he says he just is not in the space where he knows who he is and what he wants in life and he doesn't know if he ever wants to get married again and that he'd be stringing me along.

The first thought and first question from most people is: Is there someone else?

And I can honestly say that it's a NO.

I think he is just incredibly confused and is throwing the best thing to ever happen to him away...

I deserve better.

I am strong, but I've taken it hard. Well, I have to carry on, put a smile on my face - can't exactly be weepy in the job I have ... and just be blessed that I have the most amazing friends and family :)

I heart Fashion

Autumn into Winter ... I love this time of year purely for the fashion. Jackets, jeans, jerseys, shirts, boots, ankle boots, ballet pumps and most importantly ... accessories. I love chunky jewellery, hats, beanies, berets, scarves and even short square, dark nails ... *happy sigh*

In other news ... I've been in hospital again. Don't ask ... long story. Not fun. Drained and I just want to get to the bottom of this. So far I've had several specialists who are just as baffled as I am. Xrays say one thing and then when they go inside, it's suddenly not there.

I have become a medical mystery. I think I am an alien.

Anyone have House's number on speed dial??

Hormonal Cabin Fever.

I had Left Out Syndrome last night ... well, I'm not sure I can call it that considering it was my decision to stay behind while all my mates were going to birthday parties, dinners and Paul Oakenfold.

I had a hospital procedure last Wednesday. I had to go under general anaesthetic and get prodded and poked etc ... Good times really...especially when the schedule 7 drugs kick in ;-)

European boy had bought us VIP tickets to Paul Oakenfold ages ago. Every part of me wanted to go but by the time we were ready to, my body decided to chicken out.

I don't know if I'm getting older and by that I mean more responsible, or if I'm just becoming lazier.

As a very torn European Boy hesitated at the door, I absolutely insisted that he went with the mates. Another thing I adore about him is how sweet his for insisting he stay behind and look after me. I felt guilty enough that I wasn't going - I didn't want to feel guilty for him not going too.

I am PMSing (read hormonal pain in the ass), feeling sorry for myself, feeling tender and fragile after the hospital procedure and just not really myself at the moment.

So there I was on the couch, with my laptop and my favourite fashion blogs, my book, drivel on TV and I suddenly had this: "I feel so sorry for myself ... Oh my gosh I'm missing out on fun." moment.

I wanted to jump up, get showered and dressed and go party. I had visions of arriving, looking chic and saying cooly:

"Ha ha - I was just kidding! I'm going to order a Jack & Lime, who wants one?"

I didn't though. Instead I sat looking at my phone semi-hoping for:

"It's just not the same without you."

and

"We're all having a miserable time and coming home." messages.

That didn't quite happen, either.

They say it's really good for you to have a night on your own. To enjoy your "me-time" and I am always down for those, because they are so few and far between.

However, this does NOT count when you are already climbing the walls from having Cabin Fever and having Cabin Fever during a hormonal time -is well...problematic.

I don't think anyone has ever been so excited to see a Mr. Delivery guy. When the doorbell rang, I jumped up and nearly hugged him - just for some human interaction. He gave me my food and walked away shaking his head.

I needed to find things to preoccupy my time.

Bare in mind, that since Wednesday I have been doing the same things every night. OK OK, to be fair, the only thing different was that I was at European Boys apartment and not mine....At least they were different walls to climb.

There was N.O.T.H.I.N.G on TV. Good grief. Oh wait. I did watch a cool movie...or was that Friday night? OK never mind, scratch that.

I watched the clock a lot. Ridiculous... and a little crazy, I'll admit it.

I re-checked blogs -just in case the bloggers had written a new post since the last hour I had checked.

I read Twitter and everyone tweeting about how amazing their Saturday nights were.

Made Hot chocolate.

Raided European Boy's cupboard for left over Easter Eggs. He's normally a hoarder like I am, but couldn't seem to hoard Easter eggs. Dammit.

I looked at friends photo's on Facebook.

I read a few chapters of my book.

I made Vanilla tea.

I got a message from European Boy and my heart sang with a ridiculous: "He does miss me!!" - even though I know that deep down. Being a hormonal girl at times can be the pits.

I must have eventually fallen asleep on the couch, because when I woke up again, all the lights were on, the TV was blaring with Discovery Channel's "I Shouldn't Be Alive" and when I looked next to me, European Boy was home, sweeping the hair off my face and eating pizza.

I vaguely remember him switching everything off eventually and steering me to bed. Thank goodness, because the last time I tried to go to bed myself when I was so sleepy, I nearly slept in the dining room.

Today is MOTHERS DAY ... My sister and I have a tradition that we make her breakfast/lunch/dinner and copious amounts of tea. We've been told that she is going to Yoga this morning (my mom's new thing now) - so we are going to make her brunch. I've become quite the cook lately, so I can't wait to show off...just a little. I love surprising mom.

My mom is the most amazing woman. I learn from her wisdom, her strength, her elegance, her grace, her zest for life and if I turn out to be just half the woman she is, I will be incredibly happy!

She has always been there. I cannot recall a time when I have been let down. She calls herself my "Number 1 Fan" and has been through every heart ache, hurt, success, dream, triumph and lesson. I couldn't be more blessed.

To all the mom's out there ... even if we don't say it often, we are exceptionally grateful for everything that you do.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

A mothers love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible." ~Marion C. Garretty