Adopt a Granny

I want to adopt her as my granny. I want to bottle her and sell her. I'm talking about this lovely, FEISTY 69 year old (love her age) that works at the company I work at in the mornings (thank you flexi-hours.)
She is modern but old school and takes no nonsense let me tell you, but she is just full of fun and doesn't miss a beat. She knows exactly what is going on with who, but has avoided being labelled as a busy body. I love that she isn't afraid to say what she thinks. It's wonderful. She would be a script writers dream for any movie with her one liners and sharp remarks.
She has this cackle that is so wicked that every time I hear it, I can't help but laugh too. Completely contagious. My God she is a feisty little thing. I just adore her.
The stories she has told me have made me, the 26 year old with a few stories of my own, blush. Good grief.

She lives in a retirement village and tells me about her garden that she is totally in love with and how all the old grandpa's always come by to visit and she's not interested. I told her that she just can't help it if she's a little minx.
"Oooh I'm not."
"Yes you are. Clearly you are, if you are getting all those old mens blood pressure up! You little vixen you!"
and out comes her contagious cackle.

She has a better social life than I do and is constantly going out for dinners and dancing and cups of tea at her other friends in the retirement village. She goes for walks and adores shoes. I guess some things never change in that girly department.

She told me a story about her late second husband that I cannot not laugh at when I think about it. She met him in her 50's after her divorce and as they started dating, she said she was nervous to enter the bedroom. *As she is telling me this, she raises her eyebrows up and down* and so she would put it off. Eventually one night, she told him that she didn't know where he'd been so he had better not think about doing anything without protection. She calls condoms French Letters. Bless.
So out came the French Letters and when she saw them, she started laughing.
"Why on earth do you have Rough Riders? Oh no... you can turn those inside out and give yourself a thrill!"

I just wish I could record the way she explains stories. She has a no-nonsense shrill voice with a cheeky manner and yet she has unbelievable charm. When I first met her I was petrified. On my first day that I walked into the office she came out and demanded: "And? Who are you and what are you doing here?"
Talk about intimidating.

I love her to pieces. She makes me look forward to coming into work each morning. What a character!

She adores watching this new season of Strictly Come Dancing on BBC and if you could hear her perve over the male dancers, well, I blush almost every day.
I constantly tease her about it and how she had better keep her blood pressure medication on stand-by and her response is always classic: "Oh Blondie, I'm not dead you know. My eye sight is just fine to look at the "menu", thank you very much! Oh you should should see the way he moves those hips ... Oooooh ... what a thrill!"

I want to gobble her up she is just too cute.

Talking to her makes me really miss my Gran too.

I've always hated the idea of getting old and wrinkly, but she makes me look forward to it. There is something about her and what a little gem she is.