Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Hooker at #19

I'm a friendly girl, I have no qualms about meeting people, even randomly greeting strangers walking through a shopping mall and so on. When I moved into my new complex, I was rather excited about meeting my new neighbors. I kind of imagined my neighbors would all be twenty-something, fun people. I imagined parties at our super cool clubhouse, knocking on each others doors because we were out of sugar...kidding, more like: Jack Daniels or Lime...or both.
When I was moving my furniture in I thought for sure people would come out their doors and introduce themselves as my new neighbor. I may have even hoped for a basket of muffins. Bree from Desperate Housewives would have. I'm just saying.

My lovely neighbor in the unit next to me introduced herself. She's lovely. The only friendly one but we happen to have very different schedules. She's gone when I'm home and I can only imagine it must be vice versa. Great. Thank you Murphy.
Then there are 2 units above me. I was rather excited to meet them....So far, I was right about my complex - all young and hopefully fun.
A few weeks went by and finally I managed to see some life forms. I met the guy who lives above me. Nice guy, friendly, in his twenties. Finally. These parties could possibly happen. He shares the same name as my boyfriend. Handy, especially because I really am useless when it comes to peoples names.
Two days later I see him with his live-in girlfriend.
"Hello same-name! Hello!" I say to him and to her.
Weird. Do I have the right person?
Yes, definitely. He's not friendly, instead he can hardly look at me, gives me a shy smile and almost looks like she's going to crunch his balls when they're in private for even acknowledging me. She grunts at me, gives me the dirtiest look ever and off they disappear up the stairs.
WTF?
Oooo-kay!
BUT the next time I saw him (sans the eye-balling grunter) he was all waves and smiles.

I think I've figured it out though. I think the word has spread. My neighbors think I am a high class hooker. Now, before you all gasp, let me explain.

I was asked (honoured) to be a part of this prestigious charity ball. I was asked to be one of the people who would showcase a designers dress. We were allocated designers and they had to take our measurements, do dress fittings etc.
I had very limited time to do this, so I asked to meet my designer for the first time at my home because I just couldn't make it to his studio.
He arrived at about noon. He has quite an unconventional way of measuring. Sure, he measures standardly with a measuring tape, but then he asks you to stand in hot pants and a strappy tank top. He cling wraps you and makes a "cast" of your body shape. Pretty amazing.
Amazingly BOILING...Murphy was having fun again - it just happened to be the hottest day of the year. I tried to look at the bright side ... this was a weight loss opportunity. So while he wrapped away, I sweated away. By the time he cut the wrap off me, I was dripping. I didn't want to put on my clothes straight away (ewww) so instead, I put on my silk robe that I have had forever and a day. I wear it all the time. I adore it. Hindsight, is a beautiful thing isn't it? I could have grabbed a loose fitting dress, but I went for my comfort.
I walked my designer to his car in my robe. I didn't think anything of it. Who was home during the week at noon? I then gave him a hug good bye and said: "That was really awesome and it was nice to meet you. So, same time next week?"
See how that would sound? It would have sounded totally normal if it was just between my fully-dressed designer and my silk robe wearing self. Instead, it was with all my new neighbours, yes, all those who I hadn't met yet. Those who I was starting to wonder if they existed. They had all come home for their lunch break. I obviously didn't get the memo.
So yes, there they are gawking at me in the middle of the day in a silk robe walking a man who was fully dressed to his car, giving him a hug, telling him it was great to meet him and asking if this is all happening again same time next week. Awesome.
No wonder the men are friendly when their girlfriends aren't around and the girls look at me like I'm the female version of Tiger Woods.
Love the reputation.

Perhaps I will get my party ... my farewell party when I move one day.

5 comments:

Getting Legless with Lorna said...

i love this...sounds like a predicament that I'd find myself in!

Superficialgirl said...

Hahaha, i know the feeling. Some of my new neighbours at my old apartment block thought that my sister and i were lesbians because we kept running to each others flats with our short silk la senza gowns on and mostly a glass of wine in hand! :P

Ruby said...

*giggles* that's hysterical:) but i can sympathise...i do stuff like that all the time:)

The Blonde Blogshell said...

So glad to know that I'm NOT the ONLY!! HAHAHA... thanks Lorna, Ruby and Superficial Girl

Thanks for reading x

The Blonde Blogshell said...

So glad to know that I'm NOT the ONLY!! HAHAHA... thanks Lorna, Ruby and Superficial Girl

Thanks for reading x