I feel like a fish out of water. I haven't been just Blondie for so many years. It's always been Blondie and her man.
I am having to relearn who I am, what makes me tick and loving to be on my own. It's only 6 days, but each day is different.
Everything reminds me of him and I have driven that way "home" every single evening, only to do a U-Turn and go back home. I also keep wanting to call him when I receive a piece of news etc... and I suddenly realise what I am doing in the middle of typing his number into my Blackberry. Everything is just very very odd but I know that it will take time.
I am stronger than I thought I would be, but with that said, this has been harder than I thought it would be. Does that make sense?
I don't know how to be single. I feel really pathetic in saying that and yet I don't feel pathetic in saying that either.
Does that make sense?
I guess I did things ass about face. While my mates partied away, snogged different men, slept with different men (safely) and basically enjoyed a single life in their early twenties, I was in a loyal, serious relationship. Now my mates are settling down and I am going to enjoy being single in my late twenties.
I am sad and excited. Does that make sense?
This is a new chapter in my life and it is going to certainly be very interesting to see how the book finishes.
PS> I am going away on Thursday, Friday and Saturday for a shoot. It's a romantic shoot too. The timing is beautiful.
Still. It will be good to stay busy and have a change of scenery.