Friday, January 30, 2009

The ultimate betrayal.

How much can one person really handle? No really. I would seriously like to know that.

I've always believed that God doesn't allow someone to go through any more than they can handle.

I don't think I can take much more.

I have been betrayed by people I never in a million years would have thought that they'd betray me. I have heard things that have shocked me to the core. I. cannot. believe. this.

Who have I pissed off "up there"? Is this my karma for something? Really? I just don't get it, but I can't take much more and I have a feeling this is only the beginning of stories to come.

I am so hurt (that word "hurt" doesn't really explain how I feel - it is four lettered though) I feel shattered, my heart is so heavy I think it just may stop (sounds dramatic, but seriously) and I haven't been able to keep food down in a few days now.
I think I've become a break up bullimic. If there is such a thing.

I know this is dramatic and I will delete this post, but I can't scream and shout right now and this is my only avenue to really get it out.

I feel better now.


The Divine Miss M said...

Honey ...

Please email me, I'm a bit worried about you :(

*big hugs*

MidniteGem said...

OH NO!! I'm gutted to hear things have gone this way for you !!

Please be strong and try not let what has happen affect you so much! I.e. PLEASE EAT! I'm sure things will get better soon.

Maybe we need these things to happen to see who our real friends are and who the ones that really care are.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will come out just fine. And I have a feeling you'll come out smelling like roses :)

Being Brazen said...


I feel so sad that you have been hurt.

I know what its like to be betrayed and it sucks. All I can say is that what goes around usually comes around - so i hope the people who have hurt you get what they deserve in the end.

Sometimes these experiences can help us see the truth and nearly always they make us much stronger people.

Sending you lots of virtual hugs from CT.

po said...

Blondie I am so sorry to hear this.

You don't deserve this treatment. Please look after yourself and be good to yourself, you are a good person and no one can take that from you.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry. People are all assholes B, all of them. When I broke up with my bf of 3 yrs I would get so upset I'd vomit, i vomitted at least 2 times a week for a couple months.

B, just say fuck those people, be glad you found out now! so you don't have to waste more of your life on the wrong people.

boldly benny said...

Hi Blondie
I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. Break ups are so difficult. I know I've hit some damning lows due to break ups.

I'm sorry that on top this you are being curve balled with so much more. You are stronger than you might think, you will get through this and for those times when you feel you can't be strong, it's okay to let your family be strong for you.

I remember my last break-up, I had a complete meltdown and my family had to fly me back home to CT. It really helped and I remember saying to my sister: I know I'll get through this but I wish I could just go into an induced coma for six months and wake up feeling happy and over the heartache!

We're listening if you need to vent.