Wednesday, January 14, 2009

No Regrets

I didn't believe that I would ever write a post like this. Ever.
I say that because I don't think it's really sunk in yet.
These are words that I never thought I would ever say again. Here goes.

I. am. single.

After five and a half years, I have no regrets. I do feel like someone ripped my heart out of my chest without anaesthetic.

I am crushed.

I know that it's over and that there is no turning back and I know that it is for the best, but it doesn't mean I'm OK with that or that it's any easier. It was amicable too. Again. This doesn't make it easier.

I have learnt (I always knew, really, but it's times like these that remind me to be grateful) that I have the most incredible support structure. My family is incredible and so giving, my friends have dropped everything to be by my side, complete with a bottle of wine and the person I work with has made me laugh and given me such encouragement that I wouldn't know how to get through work without him.

Each day at a time. It's not even 24 hours yet and yet I feel like it's been 24 years.

18 comments:

po said...

So sorry Blondie. May strength be with you because that pain is so tough to bear.

phillygirl said...

Oh. My. Word. Am so sorry to hear that and can only imagine how dreadful this must be after being with someone for that long. Am thinking of you & am glad you have the support of fabulous friends & family, because honestly, that's the only thing that helps at a time like this!

ps. if you need the support of a few more girls in real life, we're just starting to schedule the 09 bloggirls events and you are, as always, more than welcome to join us!

Anonymous said...

sorry B, heartbreak is the worst, thankfully you have a good support structure, it helps. I think we all know how hard it is and how shit it feels. here's a hug: *hug* sorry it couldn't be a real one.

(they say going on holiday together is a good test of one's relationship, did the trip have something to do with it?) -- sorry for the doff question when you're hurting, but maybe you'll answer it...

Anyways, you will love again one day, that's for sure, for now just take as much time as you need, but after a while it's good to focus on work alot etc and not let your mind wander.

hang in there.

Sunrise said...

Jeepers BB, Hellava sorry, so many of my good mates have been nailed by the vacation/summer break-up virus. It sux so hard!

Here's to positive energy your way.

S.

Tay said...

Eina.... So sorry B! Hang in there. Sending lots of love and hugs your way xxx

Being Brazen said...

ah man, so sorry to hear that.

Stay strong. Sometimes these experiences teach us sooo much ourselves - so find the lessons in the heartache.

Wish I could give you a great big real hug....hope a virtual one will do
*big hugs*

Peas on Toast said...

Thinking of you so much babe. Will give you my 'It's Called A Break Up Cos It's Broken' book. It's lame, but it'll distract you for five and a half seconds and maybe you'll even giggle a bit.
Lots of love and hugs xxx

boldly benny said...

Wow, I'm really sorry to read that! Break ups are the one universal language we all understand and I'm so sorry you are going through this. As you say, one day at a time (sometimes even one minute at a time)! There's no recipe for healing or dealing with a break-up but you'll find what works for you!
Lots of strength and hugs to you!

Tamara said...

Owww! That's so hard, Blondie. Sending you all my online hugs and lots of admiration at your philosphical way of seeing things.

Kitty Cat said...

Oh my. You never let on that things were headed anywhere like that. So sorry. Even amicable hurts like hell. Any reason why? Maybe it's still a bit raw.

Here's a big hug. I've only ever made it to two years. Five would be a lifetime for me.

zuzula said...

*hugs* x

Blue Sunflower said...

On no. So sorry to hear that B. I can imagine how you must feel.

This too shall pass!

Tons of hugs....

Blue

Len said...

i'm sorry to hear that. i hope you're well!

Anonymous said...

:'( soooo sorry! xHUGx thinking of you!

KaB said...

Oh no sweet cheeks...I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope you're okay :)

Thinking of you!!!

mylifescape said...

Tons of hugs during this time... this shall pass... and when you feel the world is conspiring against you... in time you will find it was conspiring for you (from the Alchemist)...

tons of luv x

MidniteGem said...

Oh dear Blondie! Not cool. You do sound strong there tho and that is the good thing. I've been there and it sux! but i can say that i had an absolute ball as a single girl and then found an even more perfect guy.

Hope it gets easier every day ! *hugs*

DT said...

Oh God Blondie - I am so sorry! This sounds like an awful load of rubbish but - it gets better, I promise! Just take one day at a time and be kind to yourself! xxx