Drama follows me.

Well, I went for the audition today. I have never been so nervous in my entire life. I didn't know whether I wanted to vomit or pee and possibly at the same time. Which would have been messy and embarrassing. Just saying.
I am holding thumbs because dudes. This will change my life. In a good way. It has also been a dream of mine since a little girl and the fact that I had the opportunity to audition for it, is amazing!

Anyways...My man and I had a car accident last night. We were leaving a venue to go home and as we approached a traffic light, which was red, we obviously slowed down until it turned green. We pulled out into the intersection to turn right, when I suddenly saw this car approaching rather fast. It was a red robot for him so I kept thinking he's going to slow down. I suddenly shouted to my man that this guy was going to hit us, so he sped up to turn the car completely. A red Golf slammed straight into the back of us. Thank God for safety belts. I got flung forward and would have gone straight through the windshield. Luckily my man turned in time or I would have been T-boned.
We pulled over and got out the car. I was shaking. The guy in the red Golf was so pissed he couldn't get out of his car and kept slurring at us that we had hit him. Unbelievable. He refused to give us his details so I scribbled (very shakily) down his registration number. We were going to call the cops, but we had both had 3 drinks each and even though we were totally sober, legally we would have been over the limit and sure, it wasn't our fault, but with SA's Metro Police you just never know these days. There is a 24 hour window to report an accident so we got back in the car and started to drive off. All of a sudden the red Golf was driving right up our ass and swerving left to right behind us. He eventually pulled up next to us and ran us off the road. I was incredibly nervous. He was screaming profanities and calling us drunk c**ts.
Rich.
We were forced into the emergency lane. In the interim, another innocent car was driving past when the asshole suddenly swerved away from us and missed the other car by centimeters. The other car stopped and so did the Golf. A screaming match entailed and eventually the drunk asshole sped off, nearly smashing into a traffic light. We exchanged business cards with the other car (our witness to his reckless driving) and went on our merry way.
My neck is a little sore this morning but nothing too serious.

We have reported the accident and our policeman friend has traced the registration and advised us to lay a charge of Hit and Run (even though he stopped, he refused to give us his details and there is a clause that still makes that a Hit and Run charge) and Reckless Driving.
It's amazing how quickly things can happen and potentially change a life/ end a life. I know it's dramatic and we're fine, but it could have been worse, especially if my man hadn't turned the car in time.

Here's to a chilled, safe, accident-free weekend
xxx

The East Rand

Last night was a mates birthday! He's one of my man's closest mates. Seriously. The whole group has been friends for 15 years and counting...it's quite incredible actually!
So, my man and I were getting ready for the birthday party being held in The East, when he suddenly discovered he didn't have any hair gel. I suggested hair spray but he looked at me as if I had grown another head.
Mission 1: Find hair gel at 20h45.
We missioned to 5 petrol stations quick shops...they sell everything but hair gel. Gel companies should think about stocking gel at Quick Shops. Seriously. We can't be the only couple after 8pm, who needs hair gel. Seriously. You can buy Brooklax at a Quickshop, but not hair gel? Um...
Moving on, I suggested the 7/11 down the road. They didn't even stock gel. I suggested we go to the hospital. Surely they have a pharmacy that should stock hair gel. I thought I was onto a winner, but the 24 hour hospital has no 24 hour pharmacy. Go figure!?!
We eventually found an open cafe and what did we find?? No hair gel. Just hairspray. We missioned for an hour. That hour could have been spent drinking and dancing if he had just used my hair spray in the first place. Men. Just saying.

Right, so we eventually arrive. The drinks are flowing, the music is pumping and our mates from the East asked: "When you come here, do you notice a huge difference between the North and the East?"
"Um... The one thing I do notice is how unpretentious everyone is. It's lovely."
That was said in the beginning of the night. I started to notice things and boy was it entertaining.

Apparently it's a normal occurence,in the East, to rev cars and dicing each other at traffic lights is considered recreational fun.

You add alcohol, a lot of people into High Flyers Club and all of sudden a scuffle breaks out. I have never really witnessed a fight in a club. Sure, maybe a shirt being grabbed here or there, but nothing hectic with fists flying and the likes. I started walking outside to get some fresh air, because it was so crowded and hot that I was feeling a little claustraphobic. The next thing I know I have walked right up to a couple that are arguing. Before I know it this girl has shoved her man backwards. He stumbles and is about to crash into me, when my man grabs me (my hero...awww) to avoid being hurt and the birthday boy puts his arm around me drawing me closer to our group. The next thing I know the dude punches the chick right in the face. She's screaming, people are intercepting and holding the dude and the chick back. She takes her high heel off and leers at him trying to hit him again. I was absolutely fascinated. That sounds revolting I know, but I have never in my life seen anything like that! I mean dude! WTF?? Eventually the people that have intervened are dragging the two out of the club. I start walking (a distance behind) and see blood all over the floor. The parking lot became a screaming match and a struggle to tear the two apart. Blogshell was gobsmacked. Excuse the pun.

After all the commotion, we went back inside and had a jol. We were singing and dancing and trying to get the attention of the DJ who kept shouting into the mic: "Whooo waaants some ice cooold chaaaampaaaaaaagnnnnne?"

The birthday boys wife and I went ballistic trying to get that bloody bottle. Some blonde tart with a "why bother dress" flashed the DJ and won. Obviously. We were disappointed. I also didn't need champagne that badly. We smashed love potions and Jaegerbombs and eventually called it a night.

Gotta love the East Rand. I really had a blast!

Suitcases.

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while... just been a little crazy! So, the man is not leaving tomorrow...no suitcases are being packed just yet...it's been postponed for a month so I can sweep it under the carpet until then.

Speaking of suitcases...
I went to the Sinful and Affliction Launch at Movida on Saturday evening. It was amazing and I had the biggest party ever. I have not danced that much, laughed that much and DRANK that much in a very long time. I got paraletic. It's not something I'm proud of, sure...but damn -I got rat faced.
I didn't realise how drunk I actually was until it was time to go home. We went to the coat counter and I suddenly realised that I couldn't stand straight or on my own. By the time we got home, the bumpy road had obviously really shaken the alcohol around. I couldn't get out of the car. I was slurring and my man had to steer me into the house, up the stairs towards the bathroom. I remember sitting on the loo and the next time I remember my man was scooping me off the bedroom floor and putting me to bed. I obviously got half way to my bed and passed out.
Fuck.

I. WILL. NEVER. EVER. DRINK. ANOTHER. SUITCASE. SHOOTER. AGAIN.
EVER.
SERIOUSLY.
NEVER. AGAIN.
I. AM. SERIOUS.

Sunday was marvelous. I don't think I have ever experienced a hangover like I did on Sunday. I wanted to die.
I felt like I had grown two heads and had been gobbling sand.

I went to my man's car in the afternoon to get my shoes. It looked as if it had snowed in his car. There was popcorn all over the passenger seat and floor.
Apparently they had a huge popcorn machine at the coat counter and I ordered some. Apparently.
Evidently.