Saturday, November 1, 2008

The East Rand

Last night was a mates birthday! He's one of my man's closest mates. Seriously. The whole group has been friends for 15 years and counting...it's quite incredible actually!
So, my man and I were getting ready for the birthday party being held in The East, when he suddenly discovered he didn't have any hair gel. I suggested hair spray but he looked at me as if I had grown another head.
Mission 1: Find hair gel at 20h45.
We missioned to 5 petrol stations quick shops...they sell everything but hair gel. Gel companies should think about stocking gel at Quick Shops. Seriously. We can't be the only couple after 8pm, who needs hair gel. Seriously. You can buy Brooklax at a Quickshop, but not hair gel? Um...
Moving on, I suggested the 7/11 down the road. They didn't even stock gel. I suggested we go to the hospital. Surely they have a pharmacy that should stock hair gel. I thought I was onto a winner, but the 24 hour hospital has no 24 hour pharmacy. Go figure!?!
We eventually found an open cafe and what did we find?? No hair gel. Just hairspray. We missioned for an hour. That hour could have been spent drinking and dancing if he had just used my hair spray in the first place. Men. Just saying.

Right, so we eventually arrive. The drinks are flowing, the music is pumping and our mates from the East asked: "When you come here, do you notice a huge difference between the North and the East?"
"Um... The one thing I do notice is how unpretentious everyone is. It's lovely."
That was said in the beginning of the night. I started to notice things and boy was it entertaining.

Apparently it's a normal occurence,in the East, to rev cars and dicing each other at traffic lights is considered recreational fun.

You add alcohol, a lot of people into High Flyers Club and all of sudden a scuffle breaks out. I have never really witnessed a fight in a club. Sure, maybe a shirt being grabbed here or there, but nothing hectic with fists flying and the likes. I started walking outside to get some fresh air, because it was so crowded and hot that I was feeling a little claustraphobic. The next thing I know I have walked right up to a couple that are arguing. Before I know it this girl has shoved her man backwards. He stumbles and is about to crash into me, when my man grabs me (my hero...awww) to avoid being hurt and the birthday boy puts his arm around me drawing me closer to our group. The next thing I know the dude punches the chick right in the face. She's screaming, people are intercepting and holding the dude and the chick back. She takes her high heel off and leers at him trying to hit him again. I was absolutely fascinated. That sounds revolting I know, but I have never in my life seen anything like that! I mean dude! WTF?? Eventually the people that have intervened are dragging the two out of the club. I start walking (a distance behind) and see blood all over the floor. The parking lot became a screaming match and a struggle to tear the two apart. Blogshell was gobsmacked. Excuse the pun.

After all the commotion, we went back inside and had a jol. We were singing and dancing and trying to get the attention of the DJ who kept shouting into the mic: "Whooo waaants some ice cooold chaaaampaaaaaaagnnnnne?"

The birthday boys wife and I went ballistic trying to get that bloody bottle. Some blonde tart with a "why bother dress" flashed the DJ and won. Obviously. We were disappointed. I also didn't need champagne that badly. We smashed love potions and Jaegerbombs and eventually called it a night.

Gotta love the East Rand. I really had a blast!

18 comments:

Kitty Cat said...

My God! I have also never witnessed real violence like that! Geez, scary that a guy would punch a girl too! Thank goodness you were safe and had a good time!

Prixie said...

oh Lord! The East Rand certainly has its charms

po said...

I never witnessed fights like that til I moved to the UK. They often fight out on the street outside my flat. And usually it is the women trying to kill the men. Weird.

MidniteGem said...

yeah that kind of fighting happens all the time here - its all about going out on the lash and if you havent pulled then go find a fight - and they get really violent. And this is the chicks too. I've seen couple attack each other. you also have to watch out that they dont pick fights with you. Never look them in the eye! it is so animalistic.
LOL - just read Po's comment...yup and i've just reiterated it

Moe Wanchuk said...

Over here...if a guy punched a lady in the face....25 guys woulda beat the H*ll outta him. End of Story.

It's just not tolerated.

King of New York Hacks said...

If you loved that, come spend a little time here in NYC, Staten Island, Brooklyn are infamous for these brouhahas occurring nightly. Steroids+Booze+women+drugs=Fighting.
Men,women,small kittens,gerbils...everyone loves it.

Kevin Davis said...

Crazy.

Mrs.D said...

I'm from the same area as Moe, and he's right. If any random guy witnessed a woman getting punched, slapped, whatever, he'd jump in and beat the piss out of the attacker. Without a thought. Aaahhh...American men, they're so thoughtful. ;-)

Slyde said...

i once saw a couple get into a knock-down drag out fight at a bar once, too...

i must admit i was facsinated as well..

Being Brazen said...

hectic - now thats a bit of a rough crowd.

Glad you had a great night.

pardonmyenglish said...

Wow, that sounds a bit scary - glad you had a good time and came home in one piece!

Anonymous said...

besides the dumb fights, sounds like you had a gas - hows your period pains by the way. anyway, to give you a quicki, i went to a wonderful surprise party on friday night wearing a canary yellow boob tube. well, needless to say, yes one popped out while i was doing the train thing around the function hall.. and i never noticed until a friend came screaming at me, "your tit is sticking out" F@xx' THANKS. I gracefully popped it back. And of course my husband was proud to say, he paid for them, but all in fun. All in all, i too had an awesome time here in the east too.
P.S wait till bullets start flying past your nose.

Arkwife said...

The East isn't that bad all the time....no really. That said, I would never move back there....but not because of the hectic clubs. I have 4 malls in a 15km radius. I mean really, why would I move??

Miss T said...

what a party....you should have tried to film it for your blog on your phone! :)

Anonymous said...

I have to pay you a compliment. Gees girl you are FUNNY!! :0 I went through some of your older stories and you had me bending over with laughter. Thank you!!!! I need that kind of medicine right now. I am now patiently...tap tap... waiting for you next eventful experience. :) Come oooonnnnn!!!!

Being Brazen said...

Blondie - I tagged you in my post today - :)

Tamara said...

Hectic! I've seen bar fights and bitch fights, but never a man punch a chick in the face in public and get away with it. A whole new world, huh?

mylifescape said...

lol, i love that... a "why bother dress" hahahaahaa!!

happy dayz!