Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Handle the pressure?

I feel like that father pacing up and down outside a maternity ward. I am anxious and my heart has a very weird sort of beat. I feel like that love sick teenager who has a crush on a boy and waits by the phone. My heart nearly stops every single time my phone rings. I hate private numbers. I generally don't answer them, but I am now. I'm hoping for the call.
"Blogshell...we see potential in you and we're going to give you another opportunity. You've got it!"
Instead, it's the bank telling me I need to pay my credit card or some awful woman calling me to sell me vacuum cleaners. Planet Fitness Gym also called me to tell me all about their wonderful specials trying to entice me to join.
Every private number that I have answered has been everything BUT the call.
I can't take the pressure.
I'm trying to be as positive as possible after a very, um, interesting experience. The thing is, after the taste I got and the amazing amount of knowledge I gained; I just want to do more and more and more.
These are some of the thoughts running through my brain:
Calm down. Breathe. Stop looking at your phone like a crazy woman with darty eyes. Staring that hard at your phone is not going to make it ring. Just relax. What's meant to be will be. If it is your destiny, it will be. They're busy and that's why they haven't called. Maybe it hasn't gone into edit yet. Chill out. What if it has and they are all killing themselves with laughter. Maybe I'll see this on YouTube under the heading: "Funniest clips EVER of wannabe presenters."
Oh dear God. STOP IT NOW! Busy yourself - it's not like you don't have anything else to do! Focus on something else. Why haven't they called. You are pathetic.

And so on...

I feel like the biggest nerd ever. I cannot get over how pathetic I have been over this. No really. I am even embarrassed of myself. I can't tell anyone that of course...well, I can't say it out in words. Thank God for my blog. Really.
It's just that I want this so badly and I don't want to repel it either. Argh.
STOP IT.

PS> I am annoying myself. I can imagine how annoying it must be to read this too. I promise to blog later this afternoon about something lovely and fun. I am going to gym with Special K later and I'm sure there'll be plenty to blog about then.

Thanks for the vent.

10 comments:

po said...

Poor Blondie, they are keeping you on the edge of your seat!

I enjoyed reading it, it was like a live broadcast of pure tension.

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Haha - thanks Po :-)

Kitty Cat said...

I know how you feel, we all go through that when we're waiting for something big!
And it actually made a pretty good blog!

Being Brazen said...

Its soooooooooo annoying when you are waiting for "the call" and it always someone else calling.

Just be calm and chill - to quotes some clever person : "if you wait to watch the kettle boil , it takes twice as long" - very true

*hugs*

hope you get it

mylifescape said...

lol, shame girl! still holding thumbs x got to go... my phone just rang... lol, kidding... ;p

Mrs.D said...

Hang in there!!

Sunrise said...

Buy a spongey ball, and squeeze the life out of it, it will make you look less crazy...ha ha, I have been in your shoes, good luck, hold thumbs, do your good luck dance every morning, and most importantly dont lose hope!

S.

Ches said...

Be Positivo!

Prixie said...

venting is so healthy. when we all want so bad, we al act a bit nutty. trust me, i know...lol

Tamara said...

doo doo doo doodoodoo doo... Pressure pushing down on me...

Now I'll have that song stuck in my (and hopefully your) head all day. Mwahahahahaha!