Wednesday, July 9, 2008

My life is so awesome...

It's my little sisters birthday today. She has turned the double trouble terrible 2's! ;-)
Happy Birthday darling!!
You are the most incredible sister I could have ever hoped for. You are kind, considerate, thoughtful and so generous. I wish there were more people in the world like you.

The birthday breakfast was delicious. Early, but delicious. The service was really really slow. Isn't that annoying? I've decided I'm going to refuse eating at an empty restaurant. Have you noticed this? If the place is empty, the service is painfully slow. If the place is pumping you get service almost immediately. I suppose the saying of 'when you're busy, you get more things done' is true!
The poor birthday girl was the last to receive her food and it was wrong.
Lovely.
She got spoilt. Oh yes she did!
I personally gave her the new Jodi Picoult Book, La Senza pink fluffy slippers and I made her a beautiful red Swarovski necklace and matching earrings.
Yup...made them.

Last night went better than I thought. The hopefully-soon-to-be-mom-in-law and I went to dinner and a movie last night. It was really great and lovely but when the 10pm movie came around I could NOT keep my eyes open. This. has. never. happened. to. me. before!! How embarrassing! The big question was: Did I snore?
I wasn't sure if I should throw my slush puppy over my head, take my jacket off so that I wasn't too snug and kept trying to change position (difficult in those movie seats) so that I looked like someone had put itching powder on my seat.
My eyes were watering at a stage and the worst part was that afterwards she kept saying: Oh and remember this part, when he was standing in a tree, what was his name again, the actor?
In my head: Oh. my. God! There was a man in a tree?
Out loud: "Ah hahaha!! That was funny, eh? Hmm...um...what is his name? Um...."
In my head: Oh shit. Did she know I was sleeping? Maybe there wasn't a man in a tree. Why would a man be in a tree? Oh fuck. She bust me!
Out loud: Great movie! Every scene was just hilarious!! Hilarious!!
There. My bases are covered.

I was annoyed though. 1 word: MEN!
I wanted to try out my new boxing punch on him. I call to find out if he bought milk, bread and sugar (BASICS) and he says he hasn't but not to worry because he'll get some.
Now...his mom is staying over at us and even though it is not expected, I want to show that I am a good home maker, you know, as in Martha Stewart without the criminal record!
I really need to, considering the fact that our ancient (no, not antique) lounge suite's springs gave way so now we have to pile pillows on top to actually see over the coffee table.
Obviously we were out for the evening so we would only need this items in the morning. Did he get the items??
What do you think?
Fuck. She got black unsweetened coffee with no toast! The woman who always has LOTS of milky coffee with LOTS of sugar!
I'm hoping my charm is still a winner and that she thinks snoring and wriggling in a movie house is cute.

My life is just so awesome.

4 comments:

Peas on Toast said...

hahaha, babe I don't envy you at all - his mom was staying over with you guys? Christ - the pressure!

Don't worry, I never have enough milk or sugar at home. Not that this makes a difference, but yes, try your new boxing manoeuvres on your dude, so next time he'll ensure you have ample milk a-plenty when mom-in-law kips over! xxx

sweets said...

a tip for next time... buy a bread and put it in the freezer when you hear she's coming to visit... it defrosts in a jiffy and it's still fresh... also buy long life milk and hide it so you won't use it!

just call me marth darlink :)

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Peas...you have no idea!! The pressure is insane! Of course I'm cleaning like a demon on speed and he's REALLY helping by making smart comments: "Mom, you should stay over more often...Blogshell never does this!"
TOTAL FUCKER!!

Hahahaha!!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Martha Sweets... hmmm...sounds fabulous! hahaha

The irony...the frozen bread had run out and my long life milk was finished too...Doomed I tell you, doomed!!