Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Ze French have a way with words....

So, seen any aliens? Today was D-Day. Will Smith didn't need to be on alert,after all!
Well... What a fucking day.

I was asked to be in a fashion show today for charity. I am not a model. I am not size zero and I am doing this for fun with other profiles. Some are top models and others that are TV personalities, radio presenters etc.
Right. So. The organiser of the show, who happens to be a friend of mine, asked for my dress size.
I told him and he looked at me like I was crazy.
"Honey! You are hardly that size! Look at all the weight you've lost!"
"Flattery babe, thank you, but I know my body. Even though I've lost weight, I've lost no weight in my boobs (thank God) and my back bones/ribs can't lose weight and I've always had a broad back. I know my size hun!"
I arrive at the rehearsal and dress fitting last night, to find that he has organised dresses (they're beautiful and expensive designer dresses) that are 3 sizes too small.
As a result, I had to organise with the boutiques and designers to get new dresses tomorrow morning (the day of the show...which is today. Keep up.) Not my job and a little annoying, but he's a friend and I don't mind. All that much.
Oh and this is awesome, I am standing with Miss South Africa and other celeby models who are trying on size 28 and 30 dresses.
"Oooh, it's too big. We'll have to pin it!"
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh!! I can bearly fit the dresses over my head or above my knees. Kill me now.

I race off to the first designer (time is of the essence) and eventually find something that fits.
I then race off to the show, do the final rehearsal and then race to the final store before the actual show starts.
Mission and a half. I walk in with the dress that doesn't fit. It's a size 32. I go straight to the manager who actually happens to be the owner of the store. She's French. A FRENCH BITCH!
"Hi there, I need to change this dress for the Fashion Show happening in 2 hours time!"
"Oh, is ze model obese?"
"Excuse me? It's actually for me. I'm not a model, I'm one of the personalities modelling in it."
"But you are 'uge!"
"WHAT??"
"Zis is ze beegest dress we 'ave!"
"Well, I am hardly obese...I'm a normal woman who has curves."
"Well zis is a beeg size for ze French. You will stretch ze clothes."
"Right. You're in SA and I don't need you being bitchy, I just need a solution since I'm wearing your clothes in an hour! If you'd rather I don't, trust me, I'd be thrilled. I don't need to wear your lousy clothes anyway."
She sulked off and threw outfits into the change room while making sarcastic, bitchy comments to her shop assistant about getting Really, really, really BEEG sizes and "non, non, that vil never fit her...get her a beeger one."

Fuck, I'm so pissed off. I couldn't believe the nerve. I was actually more irritate with myself that I hadn't stood up for myself and bitch slapped her. I wish I wasn't such a walk over, but it was literally one of those: Could've; should've; would've scenarios.

I finally found something and pushed my shoulders back, the boobs forward, sucked the tummy in and pasted a smile on my face and walked out there...no I "minced" out there for the world to see this Curvy REAL woman strutting her stuff down the catwalk.

I had fun, but dude.

15 comments:

The Divine Miss M said...

Omigod. What a fucking horrendous horrid fucking bitch.

YOU ARE NOT FAT!!!

You are gorgeous!!!

I mean if you're fat then I'm morbidly obses!!!

FUCKING BITCH CUNT FRENCH WHORE!

po said...

MY GOD! you have to be a strong strong lady to put up with all that crap!

So shallow, so mean,so ...wrong.

Moe Wanchuk said...

like my grandpa always said...

"there's no one dumber than a smart frenchman"

MidniteGem said...

curves rule!! I'm so sure you looked gorgeous and very very much like the everyday natural beauties out there that are not stick thin (actually unattractive) models.

oh and btw i read the other day that the average normal size here in the uk is a size 14. I was so happy when i heard that. made me feel good about my weight. But then i read that everyone labels their clothing differently then the standard so that when you fit into a 8 and your normally a 10 then it is probably just a 10 labelled as an 8. This has just SCREWED up my shopping self esteem!

my point it - be happy in your body - it is great

The Blonde Blogshell said...

You tell her Miss M....now why couldn't you channel me when i was actually there, I would have loved to have called her a "FUCKING BITCH CUNT FRENCH WHORE!"

Can you handle it Miss M...oh and you are NOT morbidly obese! Puh-lease!!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Po... I'm realising more and more how shallow the world really is. It is SO SAD!!
I refuse to get suckered into it though!

When I started in the industry I was always told that within a few months you'd either develop a thick skin or crumble up and never work in it again.
I guess the thick skin is well on it's way to being fully developed!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Moe - that is so funny!!
LOL

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Midnite Gem - argh -clothes shopping is annoying!
Ja size 14 sounds about right! I'd love to know what that is in American sizes i.e size 6 etc...

SA clothing shops are F&%#ed up... all the labels are different and talk about low shopping esteem? They're making clothes smaller but labelling them with bigger labels...so for example what is a normal 34 dress size - they're labelling it as 36/37!
So girls who are 34's can't fit into a 34 - they can fit into something (originally 34) labelled 36.
Mortifying!!

Being Brazen said...

whoohoo - you go girl - real woman have curves and seen as though you were asked model you must have DAMN good curves too....

Congrats on being in a fashion show - very cool

Kitty Cat said...

I can't believe how rude that lady was - and who the hell is she anyway? I thought French women celebrated their curves! Thank God for "real" women, whatever that is. Glad you still went out there and did you thing!!!!

Tamara said...

I would've burst into tears, so you handled it better than I did. The cow.

The Blonde Blogshell said...

I didn't look at it like that - thanks Being Brazen - makes me feel better!!

:-)

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Tamara, you would've handled it well.... you would have been as shocked as me that there would have been no time for tears! She shocked all my tears away! LOL

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Hey Kitty... thanks doll - total and utter cow!!

mylifescape said...

i really enjoy your blog: thought i would add u to the tag!

you've been tagged:

http://definitivelife.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-way-or-highway.html