Friday, February 8, 2008

My morning in the mall...

How is it that I manage to trip UP stairs? How is that I manage to trip over my own feet? I am so clumsy, it's embarrassing. I was walking in the mall today and all of a sudden my one foot stepping out caught my other heel and I stumbled and lost a shoe. This shoe went flying across the tiled floor and I had to have someone pick it up for me and walk 2 meters to give it to me. I wanted to sink into the floor. I immediately looked at the shoe as if to say: "Damn heels! The heels broken!" It wasn't, but I needed some excuse!

I am also a sucker for twins! Baby twins. If I see a double pram strolling along I immediately stop the mom crouch down and coo! If they're identical I'm even worse! I have no idea what it is about twins. Secretly (hmm...does this "secret" still count now that I've said this on my blog?) I hope I have twins one day, despite the hard bloody work it involves! Today I saw this mom with twin daughters. Beautiful little things with big blue eyes, curly blonde hair and dimples. Well I startled the mom by rushing over. I did my"Awww-ing and Ooooh-ing" when the girls instantly started crying. I got the dirtiest look from the mom, which was quite right, I guess. I just can't help myself. I'm an embarrassment to all my friends around me.

I sat down to have a quick coffee and to rest my sore feet. I am going to sound like an insensitive bitch. I'm not.The waiter came over and I didn't know which eye to look at. His one eye was staring out to the left. I was so uncomfortable because I kept shifting my eyes from the one to the other and all I could think of is: "Which eye do I look at? Oh shit. Now he knows I'm looking at his bad eye. Crap. Oh shit this is so uncomfortable and now I'm most likely making him uncomfortable by making him aware that I'm aware! Oh shit!"So I looked at his lips but he had a huge wet pimple on his top lip and then I felt even more uncomfortable because he was probably aware of his huge, yellow zit and now I had to make it even more obvious by looking/staring at his zit. Shit!

I then decided I need to buy myself some new clothes, maybe just a new skirt and pair of pants. What the hell has happened to the sizes? I'm not the tiniest of girls, I mean I'm no rival for Size 0 Victoria Beckham, but I'm not a "Fuller sized" woman either. I'm in the middle. I picked up my standard 12 and I had to triple check the tag because I was convinced I had picked up an 8. It was the tiniest thing I've ever seen. I then looked at the 14, it looked like a 10. The 16 looked all right, except when it came to trying it on the most awful change room, I could barely get the pants passed my hips. WTF is going???? Depressing.

I'm so looking forward to the weekend. I need to chill! Tonight I'm going to watch the 2 bands, Wonderboom and Holly and the Woods. Should be awesome! I'm getting hassled to have a birthday party tomorrow night, but I haven't planned anything. If I do, I'll be sure to let you know all about it on Monday!

Have a wicked weekend


one girl said...

ahhh, the shoe incident is just awful! I think that we are both having a string of unfortunate events...

The Divine Miss M said...

Interestingly enough apparently in SA there is some big issue about how they are making sizes too small or not making anything nice in "normal" sizes.

I have big breasts, no denying it - but I am also only a size 12 on the bottom and my back is really small so finding stuff to fit is a complete nightmare. In England I have no problem, they make sizes for woman who actually have figures! Not in SA, apparently all woman should be tiny, boobless and perfect.


P.s on bad days like that I just go home and sleep!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

I need to move to Engladn then! Thanks Miss M! I have boob,s a broad back, small waist and hips! Bring back the days of Marilyn Munroe! Thanks Miss M x

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Oh dear One girl! Two peas in a pod I'm afraid! x