I've been pretty sick. Really horrible. Hate being sick. I don't do sick! Did I mention I hate it?
I have literally become a pin cushion. No, I didn't develop a sudden fetish for piercings, but I have had more needles stuck in me to draw blood than most tattoo'd people do.
I have been vomitting, fainting, weak, exhausted, hot and cold, diarroeah-ing and constipated (work that one out) *sorry for the TMI*
I have discovered one thing. YOU CANNOT EVER VOMIT AS A WOMAN. IF YOU DO...YOU ARE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED TO BE PREGNANT.
Imagine this. I'd love to imagine, only it became reality. My mom and I sitting in the doctors room (my mom had come to fetch me to take me to the doc, after I collapsed)
Dr. Smit: Are you pregnant?
Blondie: Um...well....um...(squirm, blush, squirm, kill me now) I don't know.
It came out in the smallest voice. I felt my mothers eyes turn into laser beams.
Dr. Smit: Well when was your last period?
Blondie answers. Do't want to kill you with Too Much Information.
Dr. Smit: Uh-huh...Hmmm....Could be a false period?
Blondie and Mama Blondie: Oh dear God!
Dr. Smit (quite cheerful and sadistically enjoying this awkwardness between mother and daughter): Do you know I have had two 25 year old's come to me this week with the same symptoms you're experiencing. The one is 6 months pregnant with twins and the other is 5 months pregnant. Can you imagine? Being 5 and 6 months pregnant and not knowing.
Blondie: But, didn't they see their stomachs growing?
Dr. Smit: Yes, but they just increased their exercise.
Mama Blondie: Good grief!
Dr. Smit: I think we should test you to see if you are pregnant and run other tests too. We need to look at everything to see what is causing this.
5 viles of blood later, I felt faint, sick and well, 'kill me now' was pretty appropriate!
My mom and I looked at each other and all she said was: I don't think we should tell your father about the pregnancy test.
"Agreed! But wouldn't it be awesome if you became a granny?" I said amusing myself.
Mama Blondie: "Don't even think about it! Dear Lord, I think I'm going to throw up now!"
Blondie: "Your support is so warm and comforting!"
I have to give the man 20 out of 10 for being so awesome. Besides the fact that he was wishing and hoping and praying I was pregnant (bless him); he looked after me so well. Tea, dinner, wet face cloths for my temperature, kisses, stroking my head. Ah, pure bliss.
My blood results came back today and I'm NOT pregnant. Glucose and Thyroid is fine, but my iron level is dangerously low. Normal level of iron is 60. I'm on 6.8. It's so low I need to go for an iron drip immediately and then start on iron tablets. There is also a problem with my liver which I'm really worried about. I've been asked to come in. That's not good right?
So wish me luck. I'm not going to lie. I'm awfully sick. I'm awfully worried too, but trying to stay positive. I'm sure it's nothing, but I'm really not loving the idea that my doctor wants to see me about the results.