I'm trying to stop smoking. I actually have to for health reasons! I am totally cool during the day, which is weird and impressive all at the same time.
Night time arrives and I'm stuffed. I just cannot seem to get it right. I literally sit on my hands or pace the room. I can't believe it.
3 days so far and as good as that is, it's not great...I've cheated. I had 3 cigarettes last night with a glass of wine. It's awful!
Alcohol is evil.
Beautiful, but evil.
I'm not in a great mood today. Had a mega fight with my man. I hate fighting. I hate confrontation with everyone but I seem to have no problem to confront the people closest to me, like my family and the man. It's not right and I know the psychology behind it, but it doesn't make it better.
I lost it with him today and I'm furious. I'm furious at him and at myself.
The worst part, is that other irrelevant shit came up too. It's the 101 in What Not To Do In An Argument. It's the worst. Don't know why it happens but all of a sudden the fact that he stayed out all night without calling to let me know he wasn't lying in a ditch 3 months ago and the fact that he put empty milk back in the fridge 2 weeks ago, is suddenly raised again. Why?
Argh! It's infuriating!
Just needed to get that off my chest. Must say that while I am moody from not smoking, I didn't turn to my trusted Marlboro's with the stress of it all.
I've even put this pic up...I mean how tempting is that? And I still don't want one. Ok, that's not true, but I'm still not reaching for the box.
This is the first weekend that I'm not working, not going to weddings, baby showers and I reckon I'm going to have me one of those "cosy, sleep in late, not get out of pajamas, watch DVD marathons and then blow the dust off my stiletto's and hit the club" weekend.