Yes, I know it shouldn't be done, but lets not kid ourselves. We all do it. I just happen to be really good at it. It's a skill, really, I can eavesdrop and carry on in my very own conversation.
Today I was at a coffee shop waiting for my mate. I did the usual, read the sugar packets quotes, went through my new cellphone, looked around a bit and then when all was done and the boredom had really set in, I decided to listen in on the table next to me.
This woman had the best kugel accent I have ever heard in my life. I was waiting for her to start speaking normally, you know, as if she had been putting on the accent the whole time. Nope. It was legit. Let me put you in the picture. Bottle blonde woman in her 40's, mutton dressed as lamb in a leopard print top ( I couldn't even make it up if I tried), skinny black pants, lots of tacky gold jewellry and long french manicured nails. She was the walking billboard for a kugel. It was hysterical.
Kugel on cell phone: "Doll! You should have seen her job. Oh. Myyyy Gaaawwd!!! I swear it looks faaabulous!"
"I knooow!! I mean her tit job is goooorgeous!!! Her nose is sooo much smalla. Ja! Just divine! Dee-vine!"
Pause , with a few Mmm's and Uh-huhs.
"I'm thinking of it heeey?? A little nip and tuck never hurt anyone. I say go girl!"
This conversation went on for a while.
I was very amused. I then heard the woman shriek with laughter. It was one of those shrieks that made the room whip around to see what the noise was all about.
I had to take a big gulp of hot coffee to prevent myself from laughing out loudly.
I obviously had to listen in again.
Kugel: "Oooh noooo! She has to take him for his millionssss! He gets the 25 year old bimbo bitch and she gets his cash. It seems fair to me! Uh- huh. Well, I never!!! Really?"
Another shriek of laughter.
I was almost sorry Special K joined me when she did. I was just starting to really get comfy. Hmmm...must bring popcorn with next time. It's tres entertaining.
PS> This is my 90th blog since I started Monday, 3rd December 2007. Can you believe it? Nearly 4 months and 90 blogs...I'd say that's pretty damn good!! ;-)