Monday, March 24, 2008

Post trauma and cocks... shuttlecocks.

I never thought I would be so affected by this. I am neurotic. No one can come near my car without me freaking out. I literally stop breathing and only let my breath out when they pass by. I have screamed at 2 guys who have dared come near my car. The one guy came right up to my car to give me those irritating little advertising flyers and I nearly had a heart attack and nearly got out my car to hit him!
I am NOT a violent person. I screamed so loudly, the dude nearly shat himself. Afterwards, I felt embarrassed that I had reacted so badly, but fuck that...it's bullshit this happened in the first place.
My hands tremble, clutching the steering wheel and even though my bag is now permanently in my boot, I still feel unsafe!
I have been getting some advice to go for trauma councelling. At first, I scoffed at the idea and immediately thought: Well, shit... I wasn't (God forbid/ Touch Wood) hi-jacked, raped, held up etc... a little smash and grab will be easy to deal with. See how bad our South African mentality is?
I'm going to contact someone tomorrow.

I'm working tonight. I'm petrified to drive home. I'll be ok. Well, that's what I keep telling myself. I am expecting 2 or 3 speeding fines and fines for going through red traffic lights. There is not a chance in hell that I'll be stopping (yes, I'll be cautious, yield and all that good stuff... I'm not going to be a blonde frantic woman screaming through red robots!)
Argh! I'm loving the way we have to live. I am a positive person and I LOVE South Africa, but unfortunately we have to be realistic.

I did have a relaxing long weekend though. I am also going to be letting a lot of women down by saying this: If I see another chocolate I may puke.
I have eaten worse than a pig ever could. I'm at the point where I'm craving veges. Woah!!!
I also played Badmington. Yes. Who knew it could actually make you stiff and sore the next day? I'm aching! I feel like I spent 24 hours in the gym.
It was also really awesome to shout out loudly and proudly: "Hit the cock!!" "Pass the cock!" and "Fuck this cock! I'm losing!"
Good times.

12 comments:

Raj said...

I read the previous post and this one together. Sorry to read about whats happened. Counseling should help I think. Wish you all the best!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Hi Raj!

Thank you very much... yes what doesn't kill us; makes us stronger :-)

Thank you for popping by my blog!

KaB said...

Ah come on...'hit the cock, fuck the cock' must have been the most fun ever! At least you didn't have to think about the pooh experience with the smashers & grabbers!

It will take a little time but you will get over it...that's the crazy part...like I said in previous comments...it becomes normal & acceptable, which is a bunch of bollocks!

There is nothing wrong with being observant & watching your back when driving around, just be careful not to turn into a paranoid freak...I think seeing someone about it is okay, if that'll help you along!

Chin up, you'll be just dandy soon!

Piss: chocolate sucks balls right now...don't even show me chocolate...I think I'll I go nuts! And food for that matter...too much food over a long weekend...what is it with us lot & food...South Africans go food bevok when there is an occassion! Am so over food right now...meh!

Ruby said...

awe hun!!!! i'm sooooo sorry:( that is terrible!!! i think maybe trauma counceling would be a good idea. hang in there vicka!!!
*lots and lots of hugs*

Sheena Gates said...

Sho!

Seek help, absolutely! Counselling helped me believe it or not.

hope you feel better soon hun.

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Oh alright Kab...I frikken LOVED screaming out: COCK! Wahahahahaha!!!
You're right babe...I'll be just dandy!!

You're right...choccies are evil!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Thanks Ruby doll... I'll be fine!! I appreciate your comment x How's your dad? Been thinking of you!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Really Sheena? Thanks.. .that makes me feel better...definitely going to seek it out!!

ChewTheCud said...

Glad to see you got to let off some steam and smash some cock around. Just don't make it a habit - cocks can be delicate you know ;)

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Hahahhaha Chew the Cud!!! Very funny! ;-)

Ruby said...

dadio is much better thanx;) still sick, but doing a whole lot better

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