Monday, March 31, 2008

Special K's wedding

The wedding was something out of a movie. Perfect in every way. She was the calmest bride ever, except when one of the bridesmaids had that Rimmel Instant Tan Shimmer on her hands and nearly tripped. Had she tripped she would have landed on her neatly laid out wedding dress.
Oh the dress! It was absolutely GORGEOUS!! It was LITERALLY made for her and I got all teary to see my friend in her wedding gown. I have realised that she is far too modest as far as her dressing for her figure goes. We (the bridesmaids) were gawking at her waist. I couldn't resist and eventually asked her: "Um.... where exactly do your organs go? There is no room for your spleen, liver, intestines etc..."
She had the tiniest waist I have ever seen in my life. Barbie size proportions with sexy hips and a sexy bum. I was not perving over my friend (I've just re-read this and it could get some men rather excited) but I was definitely astonished. Gisele Bunchen must watch out! Seriously.

What an incredible ceremony and the reception was unbelievable. Fairy Tale style. It was held at the Michaelangelo and everything was just perfect. The food was awesome, I tasted the best creme brulee EVER. Hahahah...I sound like I'm doing a review, don't I?

Now for the funny part... 2 of the 4 bridesmaids are pregnant. They are also identical twins , Nails and Twinkles, and 3 months apart. Nails is 7 months and Twinkles is 4 months.
8 people came up to me to congratulate me on my "pregnancy."
Say what?
I find it extremely disrespectful. I wouldn't ask ever, even if her water had just broken on the middle of the dance floor. It got so bad, even my man asked me if I wanted to change.
This one woman came straight up to, put her hands on my tummy and bent down with a "coochey coochey coo" and asked me ever so sweetly, "So are you due at the same time the twins are?"
My reply (ever so sweetly): "Nails is due in two months, Twinkles is due in 5 months and I'm not pregant, I'm obviously just fat!"
The look on her face was priceless. She immediately took her hands off my stomach as if I had just developed a contagious flesh eating disease, straightened up from talking to my stomach, mumbled an "Oh. Noooo you're not fat. Um.............Oh look, theres someone I haven't seen in years. Please excuse me!"
I have never felt so exhausted in my's exhausting holding your stomach in for hours at a time.

The good thing, I think, was the fact that I caught Special K's bouquet and the man caught the Garter. Not rigged, oh so awesome and instant relief I didn't have to dance with some weird bachelor!

The night was awesome... I'm so proud of my friend. She looked so gorgeous and happy and she's married a really wonderful guy, a gentleman! It was a fairytale!


ChewTheCud said...

Remember - every 10 seconds holding your stomach in equals 1 sit-up!

We all saw that pic of K already hun. We get the idea ;)

The Blonde Blogshell said...

I know, I guess I still get flabbergasted at her figure! hahaha!!!

AWESOME!!! Thing is...even when I'm at my skinniest I have that little tummy... it's genetic. SIGH!!

Natalie said...

Awwe, sounds dreamy!

Ruby said...

i demand to see a picture of this perfectly formed bride!!!!!

my best friend also has a little tummy...and she's skinny as hell! so don't feel bad hun! i'm sure you looked gorgeous!

Anonymous said...

where the pic?????????

sweets said...

you're lying right???? noooooooooo!!!!!!!!! you should have slapped all the people who asked you that and THEN give them that perfect little speech...

that is SUCH a no-no!!!

Lopz said...

Rude tossers. It happened to my best friend when we were out in a bar, and this guy comes over, SO pissed and slurring his words, and points a finger in her face: "You're pregnant, aren't you?" he attempts, spitting everywhere. Uh, no buddy. She's not even fat. I think he was just drunk. Like, so drunk he didn't know what he was saying. How rude are people sometimes!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

It was Nats, it was!!! :-)

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Thanks Ruby!! As soon as I get pics, I'll definitely post them ;-)

The Blonde Blogshell said...

I'll post soon Anon ;-)

The Blonde Blogshell said...

I wish I was, sweets! It was ridiculous!
I just DO NOT say anything until you are 150% sure! Argh!!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Oh dear Lops!! That's terrible! Drunk men are disgusting at the best of times! Yuck!