Feeling happy

I've been going through a fairly weird time. I say weird because it hasn't been absolutely horrible, but it hasn't been absolutely brilliant and yet, some aspects of my life have been horrible and some have been brilliant.
Like I said. Weird.


I am a very positive person and lately, I haven't been. It has been a strange feeling, a feeling I really don't like.
The worst thing though, is that it is a vicious circle. From my negativity, a lot of negative things have been happening . I guess I can say I've had a bout of bad luck and enough is enough.


I know there is controversy as to whether or not The Secret actually works. Thing is, I (without knowing) have always lived my life like this and a lot of what I have and am grateful for in my life, has come from thinking and imagining myself with it or in the situation etc.


I have lost that and I am a true believer that your thoughts manifest things/situations.


I went out to buy The Secret as I want to own my own copy, so that if I do have a bad day, I can pop it in and feel enlightened. I watched it this morning before I left for work and it is really incredible. It is what I have been needing to make me feel more positive about life. What a little gem. Sure...that too was a mind set, but my man put it in a very brilliant light: "Anything that makes you feel positive can only be a good thing. No matter what it is."
Clever thing.


So here is to a Renewed Me. Here is to goodness and greatness and all things lovely and wonderful. Here is to optimism. Here is to happy days.

What's in a name?

I have been thinking about this a lot. Why do we use pseudonyms? A lot of you bloggers have pseudonyms but are also quite open as to what your real name is.
Do pseudonyms make us feel better because it's like a mask and we can maybe have opinions that are stronger without being judged too harshly, maybe? Perhaps?

I tried to create a blog the other day as me, myself and I, you know, my name etc... I set it up and went to write my first post. I found it extremely difficult. It's not that I write anything exceptionally controversial or character hacking, and my blog (Blonde Blogshell) is actually extremely honest and very very me.
Suddenly my name was up and I couldn't write. I felt so vulnerable and I can't believe I'm going to write this word, but it is the perfect description, I felt shy.
I felt shy and vulnerble and even though most people won't know who I am, I was worried that I would be judged or that I wouldn't be able to use the fuck word anymore (the fuck word is a beautiful word though, isn't it? It's so expressive and sometimes completely necessary!), because it would tarnish my image , that maybe people I don't necessarily like, would find my blog or people I do like would find my blog and suddenly that made me feel extremely shy.

I deleted the blog that had my name plastered over it as I just couldn't be myself. I KNOW!! It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? I know that and it still doesn't make sense to me, but I am able to be myself with opinions, feelings, experiences and thoughts more under the Blonde Blogshell than my name. Question is, does this make me insecure? Is it OK to be vulnerable?
I hide behind the pseudonym but I don't treat as a mask where I get to pretend to be something I'm not...I hide behind the pseudonym that is my vulnerability/shyness mask.
Weird. I know.

I want to know why you use a pseudonym and why you chose the pseudonym you did. Perhaps everyone was using one and you decided to too, or perhaps you have a reason for it.
I chose the Blonde Blogshell...interesting story this...NOT!
I am blonde and I liked the play on words of Bombshell and Blogshell! Smart neh? Ha ha ha!

Cellphone

I am pms-ing and I have had a good sob this morning. I just feel like a deflated balloon...except that I'm bloated.
So, I was in the horrific smash and grab a month ago and had the battle of trying to organise a sim swop for my cellphone...a NEW cellphone, bank cards and and and...

Last night, I worked and then met up with the man and his/our mates for a few drinks. I was on my phone to him to find out where I should meet him, when I saw him, hung up the phone and popped it in my handbag. I had my handbag next to me the entire time, which happened to be an hour (yes...we were faders)
I was woken up this morning at about 09h30 with a kiss from the man and a "Thanks for the MMS baby!"
"Hmmm? What message?"
"The picture of us. You sent it to me this morning."
"No I didn't. Where is my phone?"
Panic stations. I have checked my car, my handbag has been emptied out and we have been calling my phone repeatedly. It is still on, which is weird. Normally when a cellphone is stolen, it's switched off immediately. What freaks me out is that someone has gone through my phone, through my photo's and has sent the man (named Baby Love in my contacts) a photo of us. Creepy. This photo was a photo I took when I first got the phone and I was learning how to use it. I didn't even know my phone was MMS enabled.
I am also extremely worried because I have high profiled people's numbers on my phone...stupidly under their full names. I am worried that if this creep has been going through my phone, they could be sending these people messages saying God knows what...under MY name!
Jesus. Can you imagine?
Worst yet, (my imagination has been on steroids this morning) what if they randomly sent messages like: "I fucking hate you. Don't talk to me ever again. You've ruined my life and I think you're an asshole. If you died today, I'd do the Happy Feet Dance." TO MY BOSS??
Awesome, right?
Oh and I have called everyone that was there last night to see if they weren't playing some "cute" trick on me. Not one of them knows what I'm talking about.

I'm still trying to figure out how on earth my cellphone managed to get out of my unzipped bag that was with me the whole time.

I'm seriously freaked out though that the phone was on and that photo's were being sent out. We tried calling and calling. Surprise, surprise. No answer.
We sent an sms saying: "Hey! Who has the phone? Funny one! Please return it!"
As soon as that was sent and I tried to phone again. The phone had been switched off. Fuck. That's not weird at all!!
I'm also desperately trying to remember what photo's I have on my phone. Dear Lord, please let there be no naughty pics!
Highly possible.
Fuck. I'm sweating now...

I'm just so frustrated because I am not rich enough for this to keep happening to me. I am not rich enough for new cellphones(yes...even the R250 ones) and I'm not rich enough for sim swops and I am tired of having to type in my data base into my cellphone time and time again.
I think what makes things even more frustrating is that after my smash and grab I have been extra cautious. The handbag stays in the boot of my car. When my handbag is with me, it's sealed and never leaves my sight. I am baffled as to how someone opened my bag (the huge one) and managed to get my cellphone out. I struggle sometimes to find it, because the bag is so big and therefore carries so much shit.

I am just frustrated and weepy over this. I think I'm cursed. Jinxed. Someone does not want me to have a cellphone. A world without a cellphone. Hmm... Nope. Sorry. Not possible for me.
Yes, I'm dramatic today, but fuck I'm upset. Enough now.

Guilty spending

I have had an indulgent day. I don't understand why I feel so guilty. It's not like I do this every day!
Why, as women, do we feel guilty when we spend some hard earned money on ourselves? I am one of those who will smudge the truth about what the price tag really says. Yes. I am the one hiding the receipts in a shoe box.
I have no idea why! It's not like I have ever had someone raising an eyebrow or had someone tell me how irresponsible my spending is. Ok, my mom did, but I don't live with my mom anymore. Hmm...maybe it is her fault. Maybe she psychologically fertilized the root of my problem. Poor moms. They get blamed for everything.
I blur the truth of how much things cost to my man. Why? My money is just that...my money. There is no joint bank account (never will be) and I'm certainly not spending his money, so what is the big deal?
It is my own little guilty demon.

Today I have spent a fortune. In fact, I am 102% sure that I have spent the most I ever have in one sitting.
I feel awful.
Thing is, I needed these things. White lie number 5. I needed some of the things. The other 40% were buys that were based purely on: "Oh. My. God! How cute?" and "Oooh that will go so well with what I just bought!" and "It's pay day! You've worked hard...Go on Blondie...you can do it! You can doooo eeeet!!"

I have bought:
The Secret DVD (sick of not actually owning it) and 3 crystals, because I was in the store and the smell of incense made it seem necessary.
5 knitted tops...a pink one, turquoise one, black one, green one, white one, all are super cute.
I bought 3 chunky silver bangles, because I saw this stylish girl in a coffee shop wearing cute chunky bangles and it inspired me to get some of my own.
A winter hat. I love hats. I think I will wear it out tonight and let me blonde hair, desperately in need of a touch up, have a break from embarrassment.
A chunky pair of silver hoop earrings. (not to be worn with the bangles...no need for chunky over kill, right?)
A DVD player and surround sound system...still have no idea why? I think I'm thinking of cosy, blanket covering, hot chocolate drinking, DVD nights.
2 pairs of denim jeans because I need them.
5 sexy pairs of knickers and 4 not-so-sexy pairs of g-strings...also a necessity.

I then sat down for a cup fo tea at a small coffee shop when I saw my mom and sister gliding past me. I had enough packets around me, that I am worried I may have sped up the global warming process. Must recycle.
I immediately felt guilty. My sister instantly dug through the packets with the "Ooohs and Aaaahs" and the standard: Can I borrow this?
I get immediate satisfaction when she says this, because my sister is extremely stylish * in my opinion.*
My sister then asked: "What are you doing for the rest of your morning?"
Kill me now. So I said, "Well...um... I... am... um... goingtogetmynailsmanicured." as quickly as I could.
My mom just looked at me and smiled, saying: "Good! You need knew things and you're looking good Blondie! You're losing weight. I can see it in your face. Keep it up my darling!"
Say what?
No raised eyebrows? No 'tsk tsk's' for over spending?
Whatever is wrong?
My mom immediately looked guilty, "Well...um...I...um... goingtogetmyhairdone!"
Aha! Why do we do this? Why do we feel guilty when we want to spoil/pamper ourselves?
It made me feel better though, seeing my mom act the same guiltily way I did. Genetic, I guess.

I'm going to watch Arno Carstens tonight. It is his final gig before he sets off for the UK, to make it international.
My man is MC-ing and I can't wait to drink champagne with my short and square manicured ruby red nails and my new sexy hat and chunky bangles.

Have a fab long weekend!! x

These are a few of my favourite things...

I have always been a summer person, but everytime winter comes around I get excited tingles. I have realised that I actually quite adore winter.

I decided to make a list of things I love about winter.

Snuggling. Hot chocolate. Dipping a Flake into hot chocolate. Cosy blankets. Delicious home made vegetable soup and yummy stews. Winter boots. Hot jackets. Being able to cover the lumps and bumps with warm, cute clothing. Gluhwein. Scarves. Knitwear. Log fires. Did I mention snuggling?

I wish we got snow though. My winter list would increase to: bobsledding, snowball fights, skiing, building snowmen, ice skating etc...

I am actually quite excited about winter. Sure, I don't like being cold, but nothing some warm fashionable layers can't solve.

Oh and I have decided to put this out onto the universe: I would like to be invited onto the Oprah show. No. Let me rephrase. I would like to be invited onto the Oprah's Favourite Things show! Oh. My. God!!!!

Yes please!!!!

Irritation

I'm irritated today. I'm just annoyed, agitated and frustrated.

Everything is pissing me off. It started with me boiling the kettle this morning, getting my polka dotted mug ready with my tea bag, pouring the water into the cup, stirring and then opening the fridge to find an empty bottle of skim milk in the fridge.
"Babyyyy!! Why is there an empty bottle of milk in the fridge? Argh!! I need my morning tea and now there is no milk."
"I dunno!"
"Yes, you do!! I certainly did not put the milk back...empty. I am pissed.off.about.this!"
"There is milk though!" he takes it out and shakes it.
I pour the drop into my cup. It barely stains my tea.
"Well?"
"There was milk. See?"

I then got stuck behind every slow, smoking, car/truck imaginable today. I was late for my meetings and voice overs. I get half way to the East, when my phone rings.
"Hi Blondie!"
"Hi P!"
"Listen. We have a bit of a problemo."
"Uh-huh?"
"We have load shedding scheduled for when you are supposed to be in studio!"
"I hope you aren't on your way!"
"Oh no! Of course not!" LYING THROUGH MY TEETH.
"Oh good! Can we please reschedule?"
"Sure!"
Argh.

I met up with Special K then and we had some lunch. I was starving and really looking forward to a salmon salad. Yummy. I dig in and eat as if there may never be another meal, when something stopped me from putting the fork full of greens and tomatoes into my mouth. Staring at me was a wriggly worm. Green and plump and wriggly.
I lost my appetite immediately and actually felt a little ill. Had I eaten any of it's family and friends?
Gross.
They offered to make me a new one, but I was completely put off.

I need to get Lennox (my amazing dog) some food. The standard dog food he is used to has gone up by R100. You are kidding me! R100 MORE??
Good grief.

My happy boy!!

Today has not been my day. Hopefully it will get better. Hopefully.

Gossip

I have written a few things...some things that got on my nerves today and then I deleted the lot. I started writing this post again and started talking about the fact that my man and I fought over absolutely nothing at all. We got all heated and horrible over nothing. I still don't know what we were fighting about or how it even started and then I deleted that too. This is my third attempt.

I wonder if I'm having writers block... I am on my 111 post ...this will be 112. Maybe the Cricket superstition of the Unlucky Nelson (111) applies for blogs too.
Maybe.

If you're not really a "writer", are you allowed to have writer's block? Maybe I am a writer...I write my blog (addictively) every day. I am also writing a novel. Don't laugh.

I've received quite a few emails from people asking me to dish the dirt on our South African "celebrities".
Um...ok...as fun as that could be, the industry is REALLY REALLY SMALL. Yes, my blog is anonymous, but imagine if I had to ever be discovered! Awesome, right?
No.

I can tell you though it's a crazy industry, this entertainment industry. Let me dish some of the worst, because let's face it...the good, glamourous stuff just sounds a bit show offy. Don't deny it.

I have been at parties where CD covers have been passed around with small mounds of cocaine on them as if they were just drinks being passed around on a tray.
I know a few A listers who swing...no, not on playgrounds. These couples swing with each other.
It makes Brooke from the Bold and the Beautiful seem like Mother Theresa's cousin.
I know a few couples who are married but have decided and discussed with each other, that if fans come along (cute/sexy fans) they are allowed to bed them.
Some models are actually divine...they are not your sterotypical dumb models, they are down to earth and lovely, worldly girls. Most models are the most insecure people around. Honestly.
Everyone says they "don't care whether they get publicity or not." Liars.
It's all dependant on the intention and attitude you see. Media whores are the biggest liars as they're the ones who will go on and on about how they "don't care if they get publicity or not."
It's also a catch 22. If you don't get some publicity and a bit of a name for yourself, people/companies won't know who you are and won't necessarily book you for events.
The industry is fickle, you see?
Oh and you may think celebs earn a shit load of cash. Some of the biggest names do, but it's not what you think...you'd be very surprised and your pay check wouldn't seem so bad!

So there...that's a little bit of the entertainment industry...just an average day at the "office."

Perfect weekend

I had the best weekend. It was awesome. It was awesome because it wasn't typical and it was so enjoyable that I was rather content in starting the week.
Something that rarely happens.

Being spontaneous is sometimes the best thing ever. Blondie 2 and I decided she would come to my place for the first time, we'd get some wine, cheese and biscuits and see where our Friday takes us.
Brie cheese, olives, pickles, crackers and 2 bottles of wine later, Blondie 2 and I stayed on my couch chatting about everything and anything! It was AWESOME... we spoke about everything from fashion to work to sex and even our late grannies.
It was such a perfect Friday...no screaming over the music, no scrambling/stumbling to the bar and pushing your way through the crowd, no worries about the bitches looking you up and down and no worries of cigarette butts flying into my hair or landing on my feet.
I know this may sound as if I'm getting old and I've come to the realisation that it's actually ok!

Saturday morning I woke up with no hangover, despite the 2 bottles (bottle each) and I think that is largely due to not having a smokers hangover!
I had to be at a work function from 10 -2 and then Blondie 2 and I went to the Corner Pub and drank Savanna Lites, ate pizza, spoke shitloads of shit and laughed even more.
At 6, I had to get home, change into something a little classier, straighten the curls and head off for a dinner with Special K and BB!
We ate such a delicious meal with virgin strawberry dacquiri's (virgin because we were supporting the pregnant BB) and then guilty-as-charged, ordered the chocolate parcels. I promise you now, if men had to go extinct and chocolate parcels were available I'd be a very happy woman.
I hate using the tasteless (excuse the pun) cliche of calling food Orgasmic, but seriously. ORGASMIC!
They're little phyllo pastries parcels and as you cut into them melted chocolate oozes out! MOUTHFULS OF HEAVEN!
I literally put the spoon of heaven into my mouth, sit back and "Oooooh and Mmmmm!"
Delicious!

Those pastries are FULLED with melted chocolate! Y-U-M-M-Y!!

Sunday was the day of 'I am not getting out of my pajamas for anything or anyone.' It was awesome, lazy, sleepy and comfy!
Just the way I like it!

Stalker and le weekend

I am an idiot. I don't know WHY I get soo nervous. I think it's more the anticipation for the event and wanting it to go smoothly!
I also know that I need to be nervous. It sounds crazy, I know, but if I'm too relaxed before a show I would make mistakes.
I have a love/hate relationship with nerves. I love them because I need them and yet I hate the feeling!
Once I am on stage, the nerves/anticipation disappear and I'm ready to rock! ha ha!

It went well *if I say so myself* :-) I was on for 20 minutes and then it was ready to party the night away!
My girls were there and my man came later and it was awesome!

I got home at 02h30. I don't have a hangover (surprisingly) but I am pretty pissed off. This woman I know in the industry, or should I say, I've met a few times, gave my phone number to a bunch of businessmen in their late 30's; early 40's that happened to be there. She introduced me to them, they bought me a shooter and said they enjoyed the show. That was it. I would have had no problem if A, had she just asked me if it was ok and B, if they wanted my number because they were impressed with my MC-ing and wanted to book me.
I have received 8 phone calls so far today and 11 emails from this one guy saying:

Hey Blondie, how’s your Thursday treating you after last night’s wine and shooters? I saw you and your gorgeous friends dancing.

You’ll be glad to know that I think you are sexy and amazing. You speak beautifully and I would love to take you for dinner.

Let me tell you more about myself. I am a financial adviser for a large company and I have a lot of money so you will be comfortable and have anything your heart desires.

Now how is it possible that you and I are good mates of "Friend" and I’ve never met you before?

Regards

Me


Can you believe it?? Flattering? Sure. Annoying? Definitely. Like I would be completely interested in whether you're "loaded" or not! Really, it's simple: Fuck Off!

So good times seem to be ahead... a stalker! Everyone should have one. Go on try it.
Argh!

Have a wicked weekend. I'm working tomorrow and going to a rock concert in Benoni...something like that...my man has to be there and Sunday... I plan to do as little as possible!!

xx

What a weird day.

I went for one of those spray tans yesterday... it's not the Caribbean Tan, which stinks and leaves embarrassing stains...it's odourless and the tan builds gradually as the hours go by! I do not have a frikken clue what it's called though. Useless.
I look like I have been sipping pina colada's in the Seyshelles for the past 2 weeks, with gorgeous men fanning me with big palm leaves and feeding me juicy grapes.
OK...the last part is not at all how I "look" but mmm, it had to be said!

I have a function tonight and I'm nervous. I am. I MC functions all the time and yes, I'll feel slightly nervous with the anticipation of the evening, but it feels different today. I am nervous..the palms are sweating, the heart is racing a little too fast for my liking and I feel like I might throw up!
It's horrible.

I wish I had interesting and exciting news... I'm not very positive at the moment. I'm having shit with girls who are plain old mean bitches. I feel like I am taking a trip down memory lane; destination: High School.
I wish I wasn't so sensitive. I wish I could just shrug it off and not give a damn. Easier said than done.
I am close to being broke...so broke...as in R10 keeping my bank account open. Pay day is only the 25th and there are 9 days to go.
I am still getting my migraines and now to add things to the pot, I'm nervous.

It's a bloody fabulous day!

Wannabe's!

I'm going to vent*. I can and I will. If you don't feel like reading the bitching, don't read any further.

I am really sick of girls who want to be celebrities in this country, SA. I have had enough of pretty girls believing the world owes them something. Their manipulation is unbelievable. The scary thing, it seems to work too. When did this become OK?
Being a celebrity is a privlege and generally comes from working hard and entertaining the masses, yes in the public eye. Actors, radio presenters, TV presenters, singers and musicians, sportsmen/women and top models are known to be celebrities.
Being a celebrity also does not give you the right to immediately assume you are any better than anyone else and diva attitudes stink.
I don't even know if celebrity is the right word for South Africa...perhaps public personalities is a better word.

I have absolutely had enough of these beautiful girls desperately wanting to be famous because they have done a bit of modelling and believe they deserve to be a top model with the "Lee-ann Liebenberg status".
While your self confidence is commendable, you actually need to work at it, instead of harrassing the different media houses and magazines to feature an article on who you are, what your favourite colour is and what your favourite position is. If you are doing something (work wise) that is worthy of recognition...then by all means, but most of these girls want to be FAMOUS and won't and don't care what for.
It is not cute, it is not amusing and it is time consuming.
These girls are manipulative, they make friends with influential people trying to get higher on the fame ladder and will stop at nothing to stab you in the back to get what they want.
It has really gotten bad.
Hard work and talent should get you to the top and that is the message that should be sent out.
Instead, the magazines are getting really annoyed at the constant emails under pseudonyms and their actual name that they eventually buckle just to rid themselves of these girls for a few months. Wrong message. These girls then feel that it works and go on to the next magazine.
Nothing ever comes from it, so they start at the beginning again.

It is irritating for people who work their asses off, who do things ethically and morally correct, who don't back stab; finish last. I think the saying: Good guys/gals always finish last... is true but it SUCKS!
It shouldn't be that way and it isn't right.

I probably sound bitter but I can absolutely assure you it's not a bitterness thing at all, it's a vent that the business world shouldn't work this way! Success should be measured by your hard work, not from harrassment, being a diva and believing you're so much better than anyone else.
Don't abuse a privlege you've been awarded...being in the public eye is hard work and my personal feeling is that...I would like people to acknowledge or recognise me because they appreciate my work and what I stand for... not for being in a magazine getting my nails done.
In a perfect world, I guess!

*I don't expect to be judged on this either. It is my opinion and it fucks me off, in a big way!

Facials ARE manly!

Special K is back from her honeymoon! She went to Cancun - lucky biatch!! I am so glad to have her back! I took our coffees and lunches and gossip hours for granted.

I had a really chilled weekend. I didn't dust off my stiletto's and dance the nights away, instead I stayed in watched shit loads of TV, drank copious amounts of tea, read my book, had a bubble bath with a face mask and even gave my man his first facial, which he initially moaned and complained about but loved, LOVED, every minute of it. I thought it would be cute to buy a face mask for him and her - ok, I'll admit, that is a very very girly thing to do, but it seemed like an excellent idea when I was in the aisle at Clicks. It has been a battle to get to agree. I have had the face masks for months now.
He questioned everything like: What's that? Are you going hurt me? Will it burn? No, no, no and Relax! was all I said. I cleaned his face, put a mask on and then told him to wait for 10 minutes. "What do you mean, wait for 10 minutes? It's cold!"
A few minutes later:
"It's burning!"
"It is NOT! It's the zing from the peppermint. Just relax and enjoy!" I told him, secretly enjoying the sight of him and wondering how to take incriminating photo's.
A few minutes later, in a little voice: "Is 10 minutes up?"
"No, it's only been 4 minutes."
"Seriously?"
"Put your head back and just chill! This is supposed to be lovely and relaxing."
10 minutes later. I peeled it off, massaged the moisturiser in and patted the eye cream in and kissed his forehead.
"There we go! All done!"
"Seriously? Bu-bu-but I'm enjoying it!"
"Ah HA!! I knew it! I knew you'd love it!"
"My skin feels so soft and that was actually pretty cool!"
"Gay!"
Ok...not the best response ever. I was winning and I would have probably been allowed to do more facials, but one word killed that! Oh I really know how to encourage, don't I? Ripping him off wasn't the best thing and my timing was superb!

I am glad he doesn't read my blog, that would be really really bad!

PS> I'm glad this weekend was as relaxed as it was, because I am feeling so much better, health wise! I feel like a new person and it's day 6 of not smoking! :-)

2nd blog for the day: MY MEME

I wrote my post for today and suddenly realised I hadn't done the Six Word Memoir meme this week!

I was tagged by the wonderful, amazingly brilliant: Lopz and Miss M

Quoted from Smith Magazine:
"Six-Word Memoirs: The Legend" - Legend has it that Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only six words. His response?
“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”
Last year, SMITH Magazine re-ignited the recountre by asking our readers for their own six-word memoirs. They sent in short life stories in droves, from the bittersweet (“Cursed with cancer, blessed with friends”) and poignant (“I still make coffee for two”) to the inspirational (“Business school? Bah! Pop music? Hurrah”) and hilarious (“I like big butts, can’t lie”).
My Six Word Memoir:

Here are the rules:

1. Write your own six word story.

2. Post it on your blog [and include a visual illustration if you'd like].

3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post [me!], and to the original post if possible [so we can track it as it travels].

4. Tag at least five others with links.

5. Don't forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

6. Have fun!

Here is mine:

"Entertainment is nothing without your laugh."

I tag: Older but not Wiser; ChewtheCud; Len; Ruby and anyone else who feels like giving it a bash!

Blondie is in a Bad Mood...

I'm trying to stop smoking. I actually have to for health reasons! I am totally cool during the day, which is weird and impressive all at the same time.

Night time arrives and I'm stuffed. I just cannot seem to get it right. I literally sit on my hands or pace the room. I can't believe it.

3 days so far and as good as that is, it's not great...I've cheated. I had 3 cigarettes last night with a glass of wine. It's awful!

Alcohol is evil.

Beautiful, but evil.

I'm not in a great mood today. Had a mega fight with my man. I hate fighting. I hate confrontation with everyone but I seem to have no problem to confront the people closest to me, like my family and the man. It's not right and I know the psychology behind it, but it doesn't make it better.

I lost it with him today and I'm furious. I'm furious at him and at myself.

The worst part, is that other irrelevant shit came up too. It's the 101 in What Not To Do In An Argument. It's the worst. Don't know why it happens but all of a sudden the fact that he stayed out all night without calling to let me know he wasn't lying in a ditch 3 months ago and the fact that he put empty milk back in the fridge 2 weeks ago, is suddenly raised again. Why?

Argh! It's infuriating!

Just needed to get that off my chest. Must say that while I am moody from not smoking, I didn't turn to my trusted Marlboro's with the stress of it all.

I've even put this pic up...I mean how tempting is that? And I still don't want one. Ok, that's not true, but I'm still not reaching for the box.

Good, yes?

This is the first weekend that I'm not working, not going to weddings, baby showers and I reckon I'm going to have me one of those "cosy, sleep in late, not get out of pajamas, watch DVD marathons and then blow the dust off my stiletto's and hit the club" weekend.

Yes!

I'm NOT dying!

Well, well, well. A nurses head rolled this morning. I have to admit, I'm not boasting this fact, I'm really not and I actually feel rather terrible but at the same time, she made her bed and has to lie in it....I just don't feel fab knowing that I was the one to put the final nail in her career coffin.

Let me explain. I called for my results yesterday. Dr. Smit had left but a nurse gave me my results. The results of doom and panic. I had a very restless night last night from all the stress.
Dr. Smit gave me a call this morning and gave me my results. Completely different results.
My iron level is NOT devastatingly low. It's low but not low enough for an iron drip. My liver is fine but I'm basically fighting a serious infection and my body has been fighting it for a while ( a few months -lovely) and is getting tired hence the migraines, vomitting, dizziness plus other symptoms I don't feel like sharing...that TMI story again, you see!
Dr. S has put me on antibiotics for a general infection but they're doing more tests to see where the infection is coming from.
I'm not dying, my organs are not failing and I'm actually alright. I'm sick and I'm not out the clear because we have to actually find out what's causing this infection/where it's started, but I'm alright!
Hip Hip Hooooray!!!
Turns out the nurse was not allowed to give me my results as they wouldn't be relevant without the interpretation from the consultation. She was giving a text book version without knowing the history, the symptoms or anything about me and why the tests were being done in the first place so they were wrong. Problem is I'm not the first and after several warnings and notice she received the boot! HECTIC!

I am taking so many tablets I feel like I could hire myself out for baby parties: Shake me and I rattle!
Awesome career opportunity right?
BUT. I have a complaint. If I am taking so many drugs I feel cheated. No awesome feeling, no floaty airy feelings, all stuff I would imagine one gets from being drugged up. I've been cheated. Unless, this is what being "high" is in which case: What's the big deal?

Going for catch up coffee with Blondie 2 tonight...can't wait! x

Being sick SUCKS!!

I've been pretty sick. Really horrible. Hate being sick. I don't do sick! Did I mention I hate it?
I have literally become a pin cushion. No, I didn't develop a sudden fetish for piercings, but I have had more needles stuck in me to draw blood than most tattoo'd people do.
I have been vomitting, fainting, weak, exhausted, hot and cold, diarroeah-ing and constipated (work that one out) *sorry for the TMI*
I have discovered one thing. YOU CANNOT EVER VOMIT AS A WOMAN. IF YOU DO...YOU ARE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED TO BE PREGNANT.
Imagine this. I'd love to imagine, only it became reality. My mom and I sitting in the doctors room (my mom had come to fetch me to take me to the doc, after I collapsed)
Dr. Smit: Are you pregnant?
Blondie: Um...well....um...(squirm, blush, squirm, kill me now) I don't know.
It came out in the smallest voice. I felt my mothers eyes turn into laser beams.
Awesome. Really.
Dr. Smit: Well when was your last period?
Blondie answers. Do't want to kill you with Too Much Information.
Dr. Smit: Uh-huh...Hmmm....Could be a false period?
Blondie and Mama Blondie: Oh dear God!
Dr. Smit (quite cheerful and sadistically enjoying this awkwardness between mother and daughter): Do you know I have had two 25 year old's come to me this week with the same symptoms you're experiencing. The one is 6 months pregnant with twins and the other is 5 months pregnant. Can you imagine? Being 5 and 6 months pregnant and not knowing.
Blondie: But, didn't they see their stomachs growing?
Dr. Smit: Yes, but they just increased their exercise.
Mama Blondie: Good grief!
Dr. Smit: I think we should test you to see if you are pregnant and run other tests too. We need to look at everything to see what is causing this.

5 viles of blood later, I felt faint, sick and well, 'kill me now' was pretty appropriate!
My mom and I looked at each other and all she said was: I don't think we should tell your father about the pregnancy test.
"Agreed! But wouldn't it be awesome if you became a granny?" I said amusing myself.
Mama Blondie: "Don't even think about it! Dear Lord, I think I'm going to throw up now!"
Blondie: "Your support is so warm and comforting!"

I have to give the man 20 out of 10 for being so awesome. Besides the fact that he was wishing and hoping and praying I was pregnant (bless him); he looked after me so well. Tea, dinner, wet face cloths for my temperature, kisses, stroking my head. Ah, pure bliss.

My blood results came back today and I'm NOT pregnant. Glucose and Thyroid is fine, but my iron level is dangerously low. Normal level of iron is 60. I'm on 6.8. It's so low I need to go for an iron drip immediately and then start on iron tablets. There is also a problem with my liver which I'm really worried about. I've been asked to come in. That's not good right?

So wish me luck. I'm not going to lie. I'm awfully sick. I'm awfully worried too, but trying to stay positive. I'm sure it's nothing, but I'm really not loving the idea that my doctor wants to see me about the results.

Babies and Memes

My weekend was a baby weekend. I had a baby shower on Saturday and a 1 year old birthday party yesterday.

Cute. So cute. The "Awwww" kind of cute.

Uh-oh!

The garlic cloves around my neck didn't help ward off the broodiness.

Everything was so little and lovely and sweet. Little baby shoes are the best.

I felt a little weird yesterday though, I have to admit. I was the only one there without child. Mom's were running around after their toddlers. All I did was sit drinking wine, watching them and yet at the end of the day I was exhausted.

I really take my hat off to mom's... it's a 24/7 job. As cute as they are and as much as I would like to be a mom one day, I can certainly wait a while.

Right...time for my handbag meme:

I couldn’t let KaB down. She tagged me to blog about my handbag and what is inside.

Honestly, this is probably the neatest and emptiest is has ever been, but that is purely because of the smash and grab I was involved in 2 weeks ago.

My handbag is new. I would have loved to shown you the bag that became a part of me, it was my proud possession that I saved up for..my Gucci bag... now those bastard criminals have it...I can probably buy it back on the side of the road though...must keep a look out! :-)
This is a no name, but I love it!!

I have a thing for big handbags... I love them. I am able to carry everything I need... especially as I basically "live" in my car and need to be prepared for everything and anything. (Clutch bags are a must for the evenings)

In my hand bag

1.) Turquoise make up bag. I carry everything in it. My foundation, foundation sponge, blusher, bronzer, eye shadows, eye liner, mascara (necessity), lip liner, moisturiser and hand mirror.
2.)My Oh so Heavenly hand and body lotion. Love it!
3.) An apple... I hardly ever carry these, but after my pregnancy comments I’ve been getting I thought I’d swop the crisps/kit kat for an apple.
4.)My lipglosses, Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Cream and lipsticks are essential.
5.)I always carry a nail polish. I’m very bad about remembering things like functions and parties to attend, so I have this in case the nails are a shocker.
6.)Earrings...I carry dressy earrings for the same reason. Accessories can always smarten an outfit.
7.)Keys...they unlock my life.
8.)Some coins...that was a bonus finding that! This always comes handy when you need to pay for parking.
9.)My Swiss Army Knife. I’m being true to my heritage and it can come in really handy.
10.)My Michael Kors perfume. It’s sexy and gorgeous!
11.)My Wallet... given to me by Blondie 2 after my smash and grab... she says it’s second hand, but we’ve decided we’ll rather call it: Vintage!
12.)My Deodrant that leaves no white marks...what a pleasure.
13.)My Big Sunglasses...they cost me R50 - bonus, I will have to save up again to buy my Gucci’s (they also got stolen.)
14.)My South African Passport. Still trying to sort out ID and drivers license, so this has to do in the meantime.
15.)A peppermint from a restaurant. Don’t know why it’s in there, I hate those mints you get with the bill.
16.)My little memory card and flash disk case and a pen.
17.)My access tags for the studio's are not featured, it’s normally in my bag, but it’s in my car when I’m at home.
18.)I used to have a hand bag sized diary, but that got stolen.
19.)My cellphone is also not in the photo but it’s charging downstairs.
20.)My cigs...very very very naughty.

The Last Supper

Oh man, I had such a delicious meal last night. It was a barrel of laughs! It was The Last Supper for the TV show and what a feast it was.
I took so many photo's that I could retire. I say this because, I'm going to make an absolute fortune from blackmailing them!
I will however post my pics of Darren Scott. It's his party trick that I've heard of before from some mates who have witnessed it... good grief, it's one thing to hear about it, it's quite something to see it! Dear Lord!

I had a kg of tiger giant prawns... holy crap I was in heaven...garlic and lemon butter heaven!! I couldn't move afterwards and I was looking at all my options as to how I was going to get a crane to lift me out of the restaurant. Seriously.

I honestly thought the evening would be over relatively early. HA! I got home at 02h20 with a fuzzy head and I have the hangover of hangovers today. I feel so lovely.

I wasn't the last to leave... and again, no names mentioned... they went straight to work from the party! Ouch! I've done that once and I vowed never again!! I like my job. Alot.

I had such a great time, even if my body doesn't love me all that much, right now!

As promised: here are the pics of Darren Scott. His party trick is to pour Stroh Rum on his head and then light it. The thing is he then tells the guys holding the jugs of water, to: "Wait" "Wait" "Wait" "Ok. POUR!!!"

Pic 1: Putting Stroh Rum on head.

Pic 2: Head on fire, telling jug boys to "Wait!" - pity the fairy lights were reflected in the glass...it messed up my shot!

Conclusion: The dude is crazy...entertaining and funny... but mad!! The smell of burnt hair was so attractive I can't tell you!!

Hit him!!! Hit him in the balls!!! *just kidding*

The boxing was AWESOME!!! I have never been to a live boxing match before and I must say it was an experience. It was so weird to see it up close. I really mean up close, we were ring side and one guy nearly fell through the ropes onto our chairs. It was weird to see the sweat and blood...the TV screen makes it seem a little more unreal. It was gross actually but in a sadist way, cool. Can't believe I just typed that! Yuck! hahaha!!

It was so cool to see my boxing trainers fight...a little strange, but cool. My throat is so sore today from all my screaming. I got this little bubble of satsifaction by screaming back what they would shout at me, when I couldn't bear to do one more minute with the skipping rope, or one more sit up, or one more punch: "WHERE'S YOUR HEART? WHERE'S YOUR HEART?"
It was great. Not so great was seeing them afterwards with some swelling and some bruising around their eyes and cheeks. Oooh Eina ("Ouch" for the internationals :-)

My man was excellent as a ring announcer...in a totally unbiased opinion, of course! He wasn't corny at all and managed to make: "Aaand in the Bluuuue Corner..." sound really cool and right.
I was proud, what can I say?! He's been asked back by the boxing commission, so that's good news!

I can't get the flash disk to work regarding my handbag meme, so as soon as I add some air time data bundles into my 3G card, I'll be able to post it from my laptop!
An irritation of note.

I have a wrap up dinner party tonight for a TV show I've been on and it's a bittersweet day. The bitter part is that I am really going to miss working with the guys, I've learnt so much and I've had a blast being the only female... The show has been running for 10 years, but I only joined them in September. It's a pity it's over.
The sweet part is that I am looking forward to the prawns! Yummy! We all know how I feel about prawns now, right? Mmmm mmmm mmmmm!!!!

Good times!
I have to go baby shopping tomorrow. Hold. the bus. It's for a baby shower and a 1 year old birthday party. Now...is there anything I can take with me, you know, like garlic, a crucifix or maybe a wooden spoke to prevent broodiness? It's a terrible thing...everything is so cute and little and sweet and has the unbelievable charm of making me go: Awwwww and Oooooh and the worst: I want one!
Perhaps I should take a shitty nappy or a recording of a screeching child, with me... that'll help! hahaha!

Flash disk stuffed up my post! haha

Well this just sucks! I had some time on my hands so I decided to do the handbag meme that KaB tagged me in.
I did, I took pretty photo's and saved it to my flash disk and now the bloody thing wont' read. Argh!
Sorry KaB...I'll try it again tomorrow!! In true KaB terms "bugger!"
:-)

Well that's kinda stuffed things up for me as I hadn't really thought about what I would write today.
This morning was average...boring actually. It was so boring I managed to take a long bubble bath, straighten my hair (it's a mission) and even co ordinate an outfit for this evening. *Sigh* I love my working hours...although, I should really appreciate these few, rare days because it;s not always like this!

I'm going to the boxing at Emperor's Palace tonight. My man is the ring announcer - how cool? It's his first time tonight and I can't wait! I am quite the fan of boxing...yes it's very unlady like. Don't get me wrong, I don't like the sweat and blood and the beating up part. Yes, yes yes...I KNOW that's what boxing is, I just like the sporty side of it and I guess I have a better appreciation as I used to do boxing as a form of exercising.
That used to kill me... people would ask me what exercise I do and I'd say "Boxing"
9 times out 10 people would say: "Oh! Kick Boxing!"
No. If I did kick boxing, I would say that, wouldn't I? Idiot.
"No, the real boxing...you know...in the ring, strapped up hands, gloves, punching bags etc..."
Good fun!

Oh and I keep putting off going to get my ID book and Drivers License...have no idea why!!
Argh!

Here's a funny for the lack of an interesting blog:

I know I'm getting older when

my weekends are filled up with weddings, baby showers, bachelorettes, baby's birthday parties and the shopping for them.
There's no more: "What are we doing this weekend?" "Which nite club should we grace with our presence?" "What are we going to wear tonight? Oh, why don't we go shopping for new outfits!"
The hangovers are still there, but they're mild. It's not like you can get wrecked, dance on the tables and throw up in your mates pot plant... at her baby shower. It's just not done. Apparently.

I miss the days where I could lie in for hours, run around the house in my pj's or underwear the whole day, moan and groan about how I want to die from the mother of all hangovers, stuff my face with junk food, watch DSTV or better yet watch bucket loads of DVD's and not move off the couch unless I really really had to... bathroom breaks were debatable. I could tie my hair up, put on my weekend clothes (as comfy as possible, if they match, bonus) and head out to my folks or to friends for breakfast/lunch. I miss sitting on my balcony with my big sunglasses, opening up a bottle of wine, crackers and brie cheese at 10am.
Ah, the good times.

Ok, honestly, I still get to do a lot of those things, but not as often as I'd like to. I'm happy to be going to baby showers and weddings, don't get me wrong, but it's just weird to think that life has now become about those things and weirder, yet...they're happening to my closest mates! WEIRD!!